3yr old PMSing - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-13-2014, 06:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd just turned three in march and it was like a switch was turned on... The only way I can describe it is she is like a young teen PMSing! EVERYTHING can make her start crying at a drop of a hat. Whether it's because I said no for something or even just joking around. She has become such a sensitive Sally. And the attitude her newest phrase "no never". I am a stay at home mom and have a ten month old also. This behavior she has started really really is wearing me down! I realize it could be to seek attention but it just gets under my skin and I have to walk away because I can feel my BP raising and I don't want to hurt her words or other wise. Is this three year old acting like a normal three year old or is it just plain bad behavior to seek attention?

Also ideas on modifying or working with this behavior are much welcomed!
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#2 of 6 Old 04-13-2014, 07:52 AM
 
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Normal...3 is terrible!

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#3 of 6 Old 04-13-2014, 10:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by CrunchyMama19 View Post

Normal...3 is terrible!
Boo! Pretty disappointing. So how do you deal with the behavior? Ignore it like a tantrum?
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#4 of 6 Old 04-13-2014, 06:45 PM
 
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You might try the opposite, tantrum too. A hug, a nursing, holding her hand, anything she needs to deal with the heavy emotions she is trying to cope with. Three year olds have limited brain development to deal with emotions. I always think if an adult, one who is mature, brain fully developed were upset or even crying would I let her cry? No I would hug her and tell her we will work it out, I am here for her. Showing compassion may help lot in the long run and it teaches her a life lesson about how to treat others. One day in the future her friend will be crying, frustrated, angry, hurt and at her wits end, and your daughter will comfort her.

There is a good book titled "The Science of Parenting" by Margot Sunderland. She is the director of London's Children's Hospital for Mental Health. It states that there are two types of tantrums, the crying, heart breaking type deserves compassion and understanding as the child's brain is actually responding to real pain, as if injured.
Where as the other, Little Nero, is a bossy, staring you down, arms folded, leg stomping type tantrum. No crying, no pain. Those she advises you walk away from.

On another subject, I also find that as a child tries to create autonomy, a bit more responsibility, therefore respect and trust, helps. Helping to clear the table and put a dish or two in the dishwasher, starting the dish washer, feeding the dog, helping to put away clean laundry, and so on (even if it needs to be redone by you later). Treating him or her, like a really useful person seems to go a long way and mellow the helplessness toddlers often feel. I think that helplessness and frustration really is difficult for them at the same time they are trying to become their own little person.

Last thought, melt downs seem to arrive when a child is overly hungry or overly tired. If anything can be done to avoid these states daily, or regularly, her overall disposition may improve. I know those last two hours of wakefulness are prime time for tantrums for my son, he is just spent, his body and brain need sleep. He is not at his best, so I avoid asking much of him and stressing him.

Hopefully some of this is helpful, just my own findings. Good luck. Hopefully this phase will pass soon.
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#5 of 6 Old 04-14-2014, 05:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks asiago that is great information. I think it could be a combination of the things you mentioned... Right before lunch seems to be the worse. Also I will have to start putting her to work. That may help, great ideas. This whole thing kept me up thinking last night. Ugh, my dh says let's just figure out how to survive this and I told him no we need to figure out how to work with her. Thanks again.
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#6 of 6 Old 04-14-2014, 03:05 PM
 
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You are very welcome.
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