Kissing game in kindergarten - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 04-23-2014, 07:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm totally on the fence on this one.  My daughter told me last night that one of the boys in her class has a crush on 3 girls in his class wants to play the kissing game (these girls rule the roost in the class and he's not aggressive, more of a pest so no bullying, which I would escalate immediately).  I asked her if he tried to kiss her and she said no, that he just says he wants to play the kissing game.  I just said:  "I'm sure it's against school rules for kindergartners to kiss and you know about following school rules.  Did "Ms. H" tell "M" to stop?" and all she responded:  "She doesn't know" so I just said offhandedly:  "Well, if he tries, tell him to stop and tell Ms. H"

 

I'm ambivalent for the first time in a LONG time... 

 

On the plus side:

 

  • It's cute and endearing in a way
  • It's a good learning opportunity for my DD to assert herself against unwanted attentions

 

I'm far from an alarmist parent - I do not want to get the little kid in trouble - actually, I think it's kind of funny.  He IS the fall in love type - and even wrote a how to short story on "how to fall in love" when the other kids were writing "how to make pancakes" or "how to get dressed".

 

Please talk me through this rationally and give me some perspective... again, it's no big deal, but for the first time in majority of my child's life, I don't have a clear sense of what to do.  I'm more comfortable with the thought of teenage birth control than kindergartners kissing.

 

  • Is the kissing game normal for kindergartners?
  • Is there a point at which it goes beyond cute?
  • Is this worth mentioning to the teacher?  Last thing I want to do is make an issue out of it.  Plus, she's an excellent teacher, very aware, so I'm sure saying anything would be redundant.
  • Play it cool and just monitor my daughter without making an issue? (Every day we talk about what happened at school, which is how the topic came up and why I know he wrote this story a few weeks ago)
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#2 of 6 Old 04-23-2014, 07:44 AM
 
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Yes, its normal. Yes, it can go beyond cute. I would mention it to the teacher. You can keep it light - dd mentioned some kids discussing the kissing game in class, you probably already know but I wanted to mention in just in case. It will probably lead to a short reminder convo in class about no kissing, appropriate touch, etc.

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#3 of 6 Old 04-28-2014, 10:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you - that's exactly what I did.  The teacher thanked me for the email and told met that the girls had already told her that morning in the playground and she followed up with the kissing bandit.  I'm glad they felt like they could go to her, that she took it seriously but didn't go overboard.  We both agreed "spring is in the air" - it's been a long cold winter here in New York.

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#4 of 6 Old 04-28-2014, 12:06 PM
 
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Glad to hear it went well!

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#5 of 6 Old 04-28-2014, 01:52 PM
 
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We experienced this in kindergarten as well. It passed and nothing came of it.

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#6 of 6 Old 05-20-2014, 08:18 PM
 
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It sounds like your situation is resolved, which is great. I just wanted to chime in to say that my kindergarten daughter surprised me by telling me that she was kissing and had been kissed by various K boys -- for a while it seemed to be a daily occurrence and she seemed happy and undisturbed by it. (Not the same as your situation, I realize.) I searched Mothering and Googled a bit and found a LOT about kissing games and "boyfriend/girlfriend/marriages" in K -- it seems quite common for it to pop up at this age, generally fades away on its own. We talked with DD about the important thing being that both people want to kiss, asking permission, saying yes or no if she was asked. She seemed clear that both kids were consenting. :-) We didn't want to shame or make it illegal, but we do believe in consent for all ages (whether it's sharing toys or holding hands or kissing!) It seems to have stopped now.
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