How many afterschool activities does your child do? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: How many extracurricular activities does you school-aged child do?
0 12 32.43%
1 11 29.73%
2 18 48.65%
3 7 18.92%
4 2 5.41%
5+ 2 5.41%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 37. You may not vote on this poll

 10Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 53 Old 08-25-2014, 05:02 PM
 
luckiest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: TX
Posts: 1,162
Mentioned: 87 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 84 Post(s)
We don't have to decide this yet with our family (DS is not yet 4), but I think about it a lot because I was over-scheduled as a child (with only one activity!) and I can already tell that DS is going to want to do more than I'll be comfortable letting him do.

I did competitive gymnastics as a kid. I was good at it, I liked it, and unfortunately the competitive track is really all that's available (then, at least). You do it for fun when you're three, then by the time you're five you pretty much either are good enough to prepare to compete by seven or you quit. So by default, doing gymnastics meant two hours after school four weekdays and three hours Saturday mornings, plus here-and-there private lessons when advised by coaches, and weekend meets during the season.

In school all day already means lots of time away from family, and adding gym meant family dinners didn't happen. Maybe once a week. My siblings all had their own stuff going on, we rarely crossed paths. I did enjoy gymnastics, but by the time I was a pre-teen I burned out. I was even homeschooled when I quit!

I know that's a more extreme scenario, but that's not what I want our family dynamic to be like. I don't want to be a chauffeur, I don't want to sacrifice the feeling of togetherness that comes from actually being together as a family.

That said, DS is crazy active (people have been telling us he'll be an athlete since he was 15 months old) and crazy extroverted, so I know we'll be navigating these waters soon enough. What I'm thinking right now is that the bottom line is family dinners, every night, will be sacrosanct (within reason - meaning, nothing will be scheduled that we know will interfere with it or make it stressful; here and there exceptions, obviously). I will also probably limit it to one sport per season and one art at a time. I know most activities aren't as insane as my gym schedule, so two "normal" things seem doable.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
NiteNicole likes this.



Living and loving in ATX with DH (of 7 years) and DS (3.5)
luckiest is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 of 53 Old 08-26-2014, 04:30 AM
 
KimPossible129's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 34
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSLaura View Post


Each family must find the balance that works best for them...

One more point- overscheduling to one person may be underschduling to another. Individual perspective and personality play a pretty big role.
I couldn't agree more. That's why I said that it's not my place to judge. Just sharing the experience I encountered, where I was the one who had to manage the child. It was frightening. If this were my kid and knew this had happened, I would have been very frightened.

Quote:
I haven't heard any anecdotal stories of kids who are left home alone every afternoon with tv as their only activity. That was my childhood.
Me neither. But I know plenty of kids who I grew up with that did. It's a different world today, especially in the child-rearing sense.
KimPossible129 is offline  
#33 of 53 Old 08-26-2014, 06:21 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,633
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
When dd was younger she wanted more freeplay.

But as she grew older that changed.

We do a LOT of actives because dd is homeschooled now.

When she was in school we kinda worked her activities around school. These days we work school around dd's activities. She is involved in ten activities - one of which is community service too. All of them are once a week with one of them once or twice a month.

Looking back I could never have imagined dd in so many activities - but these are her Passion and it keeps depression away. They have completely changed her and brought out her best.

Until we first started our homeschool journey I did not realize how important other activities would be for her.

And that it could be something she wants to get a degree in.
meemee is offline  
#34 of 53 Old 08-26-2014, 07:33 AM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,706
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 128 Post(s)
I totally agree - "different strokes for different folks". Scattered, hectic families seem to be that way no matter the number of activities, IME. And, yea, listening to the child is the key here - not how many activities a family chooses.

I voted 3. DC does soccer in the fall (this time with school so it's just an extension of the day), she does a free theater program once/week that's a privilege that I'm happy to schlep her across town for, and last year she did a ceramics club through school. At the point in the year where all three overlap it can feel a little stretched, but, really, not much. DC and our family still have plenty of down-time and flexibility to be spontaneous. In fact, I'm thinking of asking DC if she wants to take music lessons in the winter if we can squeeze it in the budget.

We are a family who needs a delicate balance between stuff going on and time to be in the moment. DH and I function more equally as parents/partners when there's lots to do. Our kids seem to thrive on the extra routine that is required when there is school and activities to do. We like our down time on weekends and in the summer but look forward to a fall and spring with a relatively full schedule.
meowmix likes this.

Troll? Here's me...
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#35 of 53 Old 08-31-2014, 03:16 PM
AAK
 
AAK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Eastern Washington
Posts: 3,129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
In regards to my 8 yr old, I marked two. I goofed though--it should be 3 or 4 depending on how you count things. She does soccer (spring/fall) which practices twice a week and has games on Saturdays. She does dance--this year will be twice a week. Last year it was once/week. She does piano, but it is in the morning once/week. She also does Sunday school (but on Wednesdays). We homeschool though so we don't have to juggle homework with afterschool activities. My older daughters also have activities. Dinner as a family is pretty rare, but lunch as a family is more common. :-)

Oh, forgot. She also does girl scouts (twice a month).

Amy

Mom to three very active girls Anna (14), Kayla (12), Maya (8). 
AAK is offline  
#36 of 53 Old 09-07-2014, 07:18 PM
 
marsupial-mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 835
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
My pre-k little one does three activities after school right now. He goes to school all day (not half day) but still has energy to do more. He does some art and music at school already as well as a second language so those don't need much extra after school IMO yet. In addition to the three weekly activities (swimming, soccer, and yoga) we do special camps and mini classes to try out other things (gymnastics, karate, dance, music). In the past it was four or five weekly activities but we realized that schedule was just a bit too much for all of us. We like what we've got now because it leaves weekends free.

My theory is that he should try lots of things now when he's young to see what he likes and what he has natural talent for. And then as we figure that out, we'll cut it back to just one or two activities that he really shows strong interest or talent for.

If I had many children, we would not be doing so many activities. We would pick one or two and all the children would do the same thing. But since I only have the one I feel fine doing more with him.

ETA:
We took a little break over the holidays and have stopped all scheduled after school activities. We're planning to start up again with one or two 'classes' (tennis and basketball probably) and then family activities like swimming and bike riding.

Last edited by marsupial-mom; 01-28-2015 at 10:22 AM.
marsupial-mom is offline  
#37 of 53 Old 09-07-2014, 08:24 PM
 
colsxjack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 640
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Our 5 yr old DD is in all day kindergarten.
She will be doing one activity per week over the fall. A 45min ballet class on Saturday mornings.
Plus swimming with a parent once a week.

In the winter session we will put her in two activities.
Swimming lessons and skating lessons. Just because we want to reinforce swimming before summer comes up again. Plus we want her to know how to ice skate. We live in a place where ice skating is a common social activity for a kid.

In te summer she didn't do any extra activities. Just play at the park for 5-6 hours per day.

We plan to keep it to 1-2 activities at a time throughout her childhood.

Me 40 eat.gif. Partner to mamacolleen 33 superhero.gif. DD born July 2009 blahblah.gif. Twin boys born Nov 2012.

We are a family that loves cold.giftreehugger.giffamilybed1.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

colsxjack is offline  
#38 of 53 Old 09-08-2014, 04:40 AM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,706
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 128 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by marsupial-mom View Post
My theory is that he should try lots of things now when he's young to see what he likes and what he has natural talent for. And then as we figure that out, we'll cut it back to just one or two activities that he really shows strong interest or talent for.
I think this is a good way to go but want to mention that not all kids figure this out in early childhood. I have a bit of personal envy for people who managed to find somethings to focus and specialize in because I still haven't found that for myself. I'm observing my child and she has similar tendencies - a dabbler. Now, I am softer on myself because I understand its value through my child. <3 Dabblers are cool too.
AAK likes this.

Troll? Here's me...
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#39 of 53 Old 09-09-2014, 08:37 AM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,296
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 65 Post(s)
I dont know if i mentioned this upthread or not, i posted a very long time ago, and this thread keeps popping up.

I am finding that its all in the timing. You can do alot more provided the timing is right. For eg, we try to limit afterschool to two days a week, and for those classes to be no earlier than 530. That way, my kids can come home, eat, relax briefly, then go to an after school that may be in itself relaxing (for eg, my 2 boys are doing a cooking class), followed by a swimming lesson. Then home to bed.
The next day, there is art, and dancing.

The rest of the week, nothing...time for homework/playdates, or plain old nothing. I often find i have the need to catch up on doing nothing at all.

Its very important in my book, that the kids eat a good meal before launching into afterschool activities. This gives them renewed energy, fuelled by good nutrition and calories. Activities done on a quasi empty stomach after a full school day is a very bad idea., but the norm for most.

So no activities at 4 for us, nothing earlier than 530, a 6pm start is even better.

I dont really care if they specialize or not. I like the idea of general exposure, but more importantly, i like the idea that the child is enjoying him/herself, and being enriched. I dont have their career propsects in mind.
(lucky for them, because they arent the best dancers in the world ;-)
contactmaya is online now  
#40 of 53 Old 09-09-2014, 01:41 PM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,296
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 65 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
When dd was younger she wanted more freeplay.

But as she grew older that changed.

We do a LOT of actives because dd is homeschooled now.

When she was in school we kinda worked her activities around school. These days we work school around dd's activities. She is involved in ten activities - one of which is community service too. All of them are once a week with one of them once or twice a month.

Looking back I could never have imagined dd in so many activities - but these are her Passion and it keeps depression away. They have completely changed her and brought out her best.

Until we first started our homeschool journey I did not realize how important other activities would be for her.

And that it could be something she wants to get a degree in.
This is so great. I love that you work school around her activities rather than vice versa. That would ghave the be one of the main benefits of homeschooling.
contactmaya is online now  
#41 of 53 Old 09-10-2014, 07:00 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,633
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post
This is so great. I love that you work school around her activities rather than vice versa. That would ghave the be one of the main benefits of homeschooling.
gosh. until we started hsing i had no idea how much school was 'killing' her. how much she needs the arts to balance out her interest in academics.

today all her studies are based around infectious diseases. her history project for middle ages is what were the diseases during that time and what did the rich people die of then (fascinating subject, and rich because they would have access to the best 'medical' care). her science project is researching why we dont hear of cancer of the heart. can the heart develop cancer?

however hsing IS a struggle. just to stay on task. and not enough social interaction - for the kind dd wants.

 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#42 of 53 Old 09-10-2014, 12:58 PM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,296
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 65 Post(s)
Actually, i enrolled both boys in art because i felt it would be relaxing and enriching for them. Last night, my ds1 said that doing art at the end of the day was the best part of his day. He was on a high after it, and couldnt stop talking!

I hear you on the challenges of homeschooling, im still in the thinking stages. I think we might try it for my older son when he gets to middle school...or possibly next year. He's 9 now.
Turquesa likes this.
contactmaya is online now  
#43 of 53 Old 09-10-2014, 04:23 PM
 
mommy68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,188
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
ZERO

I want to see my children at some point during every day of the week. Throughout the years I have either home schooled or chosen private school but my children will not do anything that keeps them away from home and being around family. My 12 yr old did gymnastics for about six months last year for one hour per week and that was hard enough. I have a life too and I want to see my children in the evenings and not spend that time driving them around to events and practices and such. They can still grow up just fine not getting involved in all of that.
Turquesa likes this.

__________________________________
46-year-old single (divorced), self-employed working, home schooling, mommy to:

19 y-o
12 y-o (private school)
5 y-o (home schooled)
mommy68 is offline  
#44 of 53 Old 12-29-2014, 10:03 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So long as our kids are staying active before sunset, it doesn't matter to us what official activities they're taking part in. For example, our daughter does gymnastics Mon/Wed/Fri, so Tues/Thurs she's at daycare. At daycare, they have kinetic motion toys that keep the kids on their feet and high energy until we come to pick them up. Gymnastics she does individually, daycare she does socially.
KellsMcG is offline  
#45 of 53 Old 01-02-2015, 01:20 PM
 
squimp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ecotopia
Posts: 193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
My 5th grader tends to like lots of activities, but she can reach her limits. She works hard in school and takes schoolwork and associated school stuff like student council or academic activities seriously so she will let me know if she's overwhelmed. She does piano once a week (plus practicing), choir once a week, swimming twice a week, and soccer once a week (this will shift in the spring when she drops swimming for running). She also takes a class on Saturdays and is practicing for an academic competition once or twice a week as well. She has been happy to drop things that she didn't like or that stopped working for her (horse riding, GS). We constantly edit and adjust based on her homework load because school is the priority.
squimp is offline  
#46 of 53 Old 01-02-2015, 03:06 PM
 
Viola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nevada
Posts: 22,631
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
I'm not really sure, honestly. My 5th grader has 0 and my 10th grader has 1, but it's not really that simple. My 10th grader is in a performing arts program at a high school that is not that close to us. Unlike our zoned high school, this school only offers 6 classes in a regular period, plus a mandatory study hall. She is required to take 4 core classes, and she has 2 electives as long as she can get her mandatory things in, like health, computer literacy and PE. Usually the electives are used for the performing arts program, but foreign language is also an elective even though she has to take 2 years. She wants to actually learn Spanish, so she wants to keep taking it, but then there is no room for PE within the school day.

The good thing is that they do offer two extra periods, one before the regular classes, and one after, but just for the performing arts classes, so she takes drama after school. She is taking PE as an extracurricular activity in this upcoming semester, and so she'll have to do a class at least 3 hours a week to get the semester credit. And then she also sings in a community children's choir. Then there is church related stuff, like youth group and handbells.

But if she tries out for the school musical and makes it, then she becomes enrolled in a Theater Performance class that meets for an hour and a half every other day, which alternates with her Advanced Drama class. She she goes to school until 4:10 every day, and it can go until 6 pm on tech weeks. Then there is her school choir, and if she does stuff like County Honor Choir and All State Choir, there are rehearsals and performances for that for a couple months of the year.
Viola is offline  
#47 of 53 Old 01-15-2015, 12:51 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 4
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
both my son and daughter do one activity each at the moment, my son does tennis after school and my daughter does gymnastics.

I would be happy for them to do 2-3 activities per week however they dont seem to want to do other ones and/or there isnt much opportunity in the area for them to do it.
sazza-w is offline  
#48 of 53 Old 01-16-2015, 08:24 AM
 
Turquesa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 5,111
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 465 Post(s)
While DD was still in school, she did a weekly ballet class on Saturdays and nothing more. Now that we're HS'ing, we're part of a co-op where she can take ballet. So both of the older sibs are in mid-day ballet classes, and then both do late-afternoon swimming lessons twice a week.

I'm extremely possessive of our free time. I don't think that children get enough of it, even though creative play and unstructured play and social interactions are vital to their development. Children's days are pretty micromanaged between school, homework, extra-curriculars, and limited recess times. While we can't do the traditional "family dinner" with DH's work schedule, I look for ways that we can spend time together in the evenings, if even just over hot cocoa at the table before bed.

What I'm sort of saying with all of this is that it's sad that schooling, homework, and activities have sucked the life out of our communities and minimized family interactions. None of the neighborhood kids can play with my homeschooled kids in the afternoons because they have homework and structured activities. (Now we just go to daytime social events with other hs'ers).

I'm in no way suggesting that the 1950s, 60s, and 70s were overall "better" than today; nothing is that black and white. I'm also not slamming anyone whose kids are in lots of activities because there are more fun and enriching options these days than ever before. But I wonder if children were socially healthier when running outside to play with neighborhood kids after school was the norm. I also consider it important for families to "connect" with each other a little each day. That's why personally, I've been extremely judicious with extra-curriculars. But the hectic lifestyle does have a way of creeping up on us!

“It is simply no longer possible to believe much of the clinical research that is published, or to rely on the judgment of trusted physicians or authoritative medical guidelines.” - Marcia Angell, M.D., former NEJM Editor Private Parts are Private Property!
Turquesa is offline  
#49 of 53 Old 01-16-2015, 08:30 AM
 
Turquesa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 5,111
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 465 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
gosh. until we started hsing i had no idea how much school was 'killing' her. how much she needs the arts to balance out her interest in academics.

today all her studies are based around infectious diseases. her history project for middle ages is what were the diseases during that time and what did the rich people die of then (fascinating subject, and rich because they would have access to the best 'medical' care). her science project is researching why we dont hear of cancer of the heart. can the heart develop cancer?

however hsing IS a struggle. just to stay on task. and not enough social interaction - for the kind dd wants.
We're going through these struggles, too. I'm not sure how long you've been at it, but supposedly the first year is hardest. I'm in my first year, and it's been rough. We have our good days, and it does help that my kids feel strongly about wanting to be hs'ed. We were lagging in the social area, but that's sort of a matter of trial and error. We're fortunate to live in an urban area and have finally found a co-op that meets our needs with field trips and unstructured get-togethers.

“It is simply no longer possible to believe much of the clinical research that is published, or to rely on the judgment of trusted physicians or authoritative medical guidelines.” - Marcia Angell, M.D., former NEJM Editor Private Parts are Private Property!
Turquesa is offline  
#50 of 53 Old 01-16-2015, 10:06 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 29
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
we have a 1st & 3rd grader who both play soccer and attend a weekly yoga class. they're also girl scouts, but that's only a once a month meeting. two events a week are plenty for me, but my little social butterflies would gladly take on more!

Happy Humanist Mom to Luna Paz (2/16/06) & Zoe Jean (7/21/08). Patiently awaiting the arrival of Johnny (edd 6/26/15).
pazatron is offline  
#51 of 53 Old 01-16-2015, 11:16 AM
 
Serafina33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Far from home!
Posts: 1,778
Mentioned: 47 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 92 Post(s)
My 9 & 11 year olds have two sports each and then pursue an instrument in addition. That's 4-6 times per week they have an activity going on and the driving and picking up us exhausting! Thank goodness in the country we live in, school is over about 1pm so that helps not feel as over scheduled as it could. It's still too much.
Serafina33 is offline  
#52 of 53 Old 01-25-2015, 05:10 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
My DS is 7. He has large group therapy and small group therapy (he's autistic). He will also soon be in soccer.

If he were not autistic, he would likely only have the one activity (soccer).
bonnietulip is offline  
#53 of 53 Old 03-20-2015, 08:58 AM
 
fullofhope08's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: rural Canada
Posts: 143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
our 4 year old son started preschool this year - 8-2:00. He started going 2 days a week and we upped it to 3 days a week after the holidays. After spending his first 4 years of life with us or grand-parents, we decided on no activities for this year and next as he adjusts to preschool and kindergarten next year. He loves going and is doing well. I feel for him, that's all he needs at this point as his brain is absorbing plenty of new experiences and thankfully they get lots of time to play outside or in the gym. We will enroll him in soccer in the summer months as he loves it and it's a great opportunity to let off some steam. Once he's in first grade, not sure what his interests may be for activities, but we may look at introducing one.
As others have said, I also feel kids need time to run and play, time as a family. We are thankfully able to make sure nightly supper together happens and we make this a priority. We spend evenings and weekends together for the most part - lots of outside play and time at family camps in the summer with cousins, swimming and campfires. We are fortunate to have family around and opoortunities to spend time together so we take advantage of it. I know this is going to change as the kids get older, but my intention is never to become a taxi driver to my kids. I know thisis the reality for some and a positive lifestyle for some. But it's just not what we are looking for.
interesting topic and to see the different perspectives. There is not one right way for sure.

married to DH, mother to two amazing little boys born May 18/2010 and May 20/2013!

Infertility has been part of this journey - no more littles for us, but so grateful we have two happy healthy boys and we can now begin to heal from that experience

fullofhope08 is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off