let me just clarify at the start - this isn't a case of a child being restricted to just granola and raisins while i'm sitting around eating hohos & bonbons
WE as a family have sweets/treats etc.
i regulate the when - no ice cream for breakfast and no desserts late at night (we end up with a behavior problem)
so yesterday i get a big box of assorted stuff from my mom for my birthday. there were some books/toys for dd as well. in it were two candy bars from FLA that we dont get. dd (5 1/2 yrs) took them both, without asking and ate a whole one without sharing. i found out and said that i was said because they weren't hers and she didn't ask. she knows the if its not yours rule - ask.
so last night dh brings me a birthday cake from a real bakery, which is an extra special treat! we serve it to us here (dh, dd and me). i then tell dd very explicitly DO NOT TOUCH THE CAKE.
later on i went into the kitchen and saw the frosting was removed from the top by fingers (not mine).
i put it away in the fridge and looked dd in the eye and said "if you dont understand let me know but DO NOT DO NOT TOUCH __MY__ CAKE" do you understand? she says yes
today she got into it (ate a significant amoutn of it)
so i know its a kid thing to swipe frosting and that wouldnt bother me as a whole (in fact i'm just as tempted myself). but this CONTINUAL lack of respect for MY special food is pissing me off. i share 99.9% of the house, the water, the food, the bathroom etc. at least ASK before taking something, ESPECIALLY when i said it sooo freaking explicitly!!!!
short of locking it up in a hidden place - is there something else i shoudl be saying to get respect shown? my goal is to at least be asked before its taken
I think you should impress upon her how sad and deprived you feel. You could ask her to imagine if someone took her special treat, and how would she feel. Finally, you could ask her to try to think of a way to make it up to you, and see what she comes up with.
And while it sounds extreme, I would probably hide special treats or at least put them out of reach and sight. She is pretty young and still probably struggling with impulse control. I would take away temptation.
I keep my chocolate well hidden and out of DD's reach for that very reason. I share it when I have a piece, but she has to ask nicely for it.