My soon to be 6 year old doesn't have any toy guns. I'm not totally against gun play, but I do think guns are tools not toys. I am however, very worried about the type of gun play my son engages in. He doesn't play cops and robbers with his friends. He only pretends to shoot the kids in class that he doesn't like, or he pretends to shoot me on occasion when he is mad about something I have told him he cannot do.
With the kids in class, he feels very defensive around them. So he's pretend shooting them out of a feeling of self defense. He says that they are mean to him or picking on him, but I know from experience that he misinterprets other kid's behavior. He is very sensitive and defensive and often thinks others are out to get him.
When he pretends to shoot me, he is just flat out mad and feels like he has lost all power. I try not to be authoritative with him. He has a very dominant personality, not normally aggressive but argumentative and any loss of(or perceived loss of) power makes him feel out of control of his environment.
I have tried many times and many ways to talk about being kind to others, that guns kill people, if he feels threatened he should go to the teacher. we talk about walking away from a situation instead of retaliating. He tells me that he just doesn't care. If he's mad at someone or doesn't like someone, there is no empathy for that person.
I know he doesn't have an adult understanding of death and violence. He also has and ASD diagnosis which is probably complicating his feeling and understanding of the situation. He is often such a sweet and happy boy. He has so much compassion for our animals and abstract things like climate change and endangered species. This angry play confuses and worries me.
Anyone deal with this kind of violent play? Advice? Should I just ignore it and continue to focus on being kind to others hoping he'll outgrow this?
With the kids in class, he feels very defensive around them. So he's pretend shooting them out of a feeling of self defense. He says that they are mean to him or picking on him, but I know from experience that he misinterprets other kid's behavior. He is very sensitive and defensive and often thinks others are out to get him.
When he pretends to shoot me, he is just flat out mad and feels like he has lost all power. I try not to be authoritative with him. He has a very dominant personality, not normally aggressive but argumentative and any loss of(or perceived loss of) power makes him feel out of control of his environment.
I have tried many times and many ways to talk about being kind to others, that guns kill people, if he feels threatened he should go to the teacher. we talk about walking away from a situation instead of retaliating. He tells me that he just doesn't care. If he's mad at someone or doesn't like someone, there is no empathy for that person.
I know he doesn't have an adult understanding of death and violence. He also has and ASD diagnosis which is probably complicating his feeling and understanding of the situation. He is often such a sweet and happy boy. He has so much compassion for our animals and abstract things like climate change and endangered species. This angry play confuses and worries me.
Anyone deal with this kind of violent play? Advice? Should I just ignore it and continue to focus on being kind to others hoping he'll outgrow this?