This is something that has stuck with me since my childhood. Yes, I read Peggy Orenstein's book 'Cinderella Ate My Daughter'. Although one doesn't have to agree with everything in the book, I think it's great that the issue with this pink girly-girl phenomena is being discussed and that's what I want this thread for.
When I was a kid and I was visiting my dad and his wife, she would always give me girl specific things. One Easter, she hid blue and pink eggs all over the house. I was drawn to the blue ones and my step-brother was drawn to the pink ones. His mom made us switch, telling us that pink is for girls not boys and blue is for boys not girls. I was so confused. How can a color be strictly assigned to one gender? A few years later, when I was about 10 or 11, I went through a "tom boy" phase. I didn't like to dress overly feminine, so no dresses. I hated dresses. I had my hair cut into a mushroom cut, and I was more into fighting video games and rough play. My mom was not happy. She snapped one day. "I raised a daughter. Not a son." I was hurt. I took an interest in something and it wasn't okay because I'm female, according to my mom.
Stuff hit the fan with me one day, as I got off the bus, my baby girl in a Snuggly wearing a black topped dress with a red and white striped skirt and a matching headband. An elderly man, asked how old my son was. I was appalled. I told him she's a girl not a boy. I don't think he really wanted to know my baby's age. He was looking for an opportunity to criticize me for not dressing my daughter up in feminine colors. He snappingly asked, "Why isn't she wearing girl clothes." I was so offended. I thought my daughter looked cute and her dress reminded me of Minnie Mouse.
When my daughter was a toddler, we lived in an apartment and met another mother of 2 in the same building. We often visited her place. She was strict about gender classifications. She wasn't very educated, was illiterate and believed every asinine thing social workers have told her. She told me that she was told by a social worker, because this was a rough area, her son is inevitable to get beaten up if he was shown affection. So she was advised not to ever hug him. Her son had cerebral palsy and needed constant care. She would, also, prevent him from playing with dolls or anything else considered "girly". Her daughter, on the other hand, was allowed hugs. She was not allowed to play with anything that was not considered "girly". I never said anything. Her family, her rules. But I never liked seeing this.
I raised my daughter to be allowed to play with whatever, dress how-ever and be whatever she wants to be.
We really have no choice when it comes to shoes and clothes. Feminine children's shoes are too narrow for her thick, wide feet. And she had to start wearing teen clothes by age 8 or 9 because she was too curvy for children's wear. But she could fit the boys clothes just fine.
Dawn, now, takes notice and retorts when she sees the doll aisle. She likes Monster High for the lack of pink. I think she feels it's pressured on girls to like it and that a girl isn't supposed to play with something unless it's some pastel color. Those Nerf toys and legos are prime example. I remember watching t.v. at daycare when a Lego commercial came on that featured pink, purple and white Legos marketed towards girls. One of the staff commented, "So, why can't girls play with the regular Lego?" This separate colors for separate gender thing has gone on long enough. I refused to buy into it.
But I'm not fully against feminine things. Barbie was a major focus with playtime growing up. I was more into setting up and decorating the houses and other big accessories and I found an interest in fashion. As you can see in my avatar, I loved Jem and I had a Jem doll. I loved girly things and make-overs. But I liked masculinity as well.
I like to wear make up occasionally. So does my daughter. It's a matter of balance.
Oh, those McDonald toys. Yeah, I take my daughter to McDonald's more than I should. Not the point. When my daughter wanted a happy meal, instead of asking what toy she would like, the cashiers ask if she is a boy or girl so they could determine for her what toy McDonald's wants her to have. I know they are trained to do this. But there have been times where it would get heated because I would end up with someone who really believes in this gender biased mantra and refuse to give Dawn the toy she wants. It's just a toy, sure. But it's not the point. It's the dictation that get's on my nerves.
The way I see it, it's more of a societal thing. There's no sign in the toy aisles that specifically indicate what are the boy toys and what are the girl toys. Apparently, the bias either only exists in the minds of society or we are just supposed to know because of the separation of pinkish toys and the other darker colors.
What are your thoughts on the issue.
When I was a kid and I was visiting my dad and his wife, she would always give me girl specific things. One Easter, she hid blue and pink eggs all over the house. I was drawn to the blue ones and my step-brother was drawn to the pink ones. His mom made us switch, telling us that pink is for girls not boys and blue is for boys not girls. I was so confused. How can a color be strictly assigned to one gender? A few years later, when I was about 10 or 11, I went through a "tom boy" phase. I didn't like to dress overly feminine, so no dresses. I hated dresses. I had my hair cut into a mushroom cut, and I was more into fighting video games and rough play. My mom was not happy. She snapped one day. "I raised a daughter. Not a son." I was hurt. I took an interest in something and it wasn't okay because I'm female, according to my mom.
Stuff hit the fan with me one day, as I got off the bus, my baby girl in a Snuggly wearing a black topped dress with a red and white striped skirt and a matching headband. An elderly man, asked how old my son was. I was appalled. I told him she's a girl not a boy. I don't think he really wanted to know my baby's age. He was looking for an opportunity to criticize me for not dressing my daughter up in feminine colors. He snappingly asked, "Why isn't she wearing girl clothes." I was so offended. I thought my daughter looked cute and her dress reminded me of Minnie Mouse.
When my daughter was a toddler, we lived in an apartment and met another mother of 2 in the same building. We often visited her place. She was strict about gender classifications. She wasn't very educated, was illiterate and believed every asinine thing social workers have told her. She told me that she was told by a social worker, because this was a rough area, her son is inevitable to get beaten up if he was shown affection. So she was advised not to ever hug him. Her son had cerebral palsy and needed constant care. She would, also, prevent him from playing with dolls or anything else considered "girly". Her daughter, on the other hand, was allowed hugs. She was not allowed to play with anything that was not considered "girly". I never said anything. Her family, her rules. But I never liked seeing this.
I raised my daughter to be allowed to play with whatever, dress how-ever and be whatever she wants to be.
We really have no choice when it comes to shoes and clothes. Feminine children's shoes are too narrow for her thick, wide feet. And she had to start wearing teen clothes by age 8 or 9 because she was too curvy for children's wear. But she could fit the boys clothes just fine.
Dawn, now, takes notice and retorts when she sees the doll aisle. She likes Monster High for the lack of pink. I think she feels it's pressured on girls to like it and that a girl isn't supposed to play with something unless it's some pastel color. Those Nerf toys and legos are prime example. I remember watching t.v. at daycare when a Lego commercial came on that featured pink, purple and white Legos marketed towards girls. One of the staff commented, "So, why can't girls play with the regular Lego?" This separate colors for separate gender thing has gone on long enough. I refused to buy into it.
But I'm not fully against feminine things. Barbie was a major focus with playtime growing up. I was more into setting up and decorating the houses and other big accessories and I found an interest in fashion. As you can see in my avatar, I loved Jem and I had a Jem doll. I loved girly things and make-overs. But I liked masculinity as well.
I like to wear make up occasionally. So does my daughter. It's a matter of balance.
Oh, those McDonald toys. Yeah, I take my daughter to McDonald's more than I should. Not the point. When my daughter wanted a happy meal, instead of asking what toy she would like, the cashiers ask if she is a boy or girl so they could determine for her what toy McDonald's wants her to have. I know they are trained to do this. But there have been times where it would get heated because I would end up with someone who really believes in this gender biased mantra and refuse to give Dawn the toy she wants. It's just a toy, sure. But it's not the point. It's the dictation that get's on my nerves.
The way I see it, it's more of a societal thing. There's no sign in the toy aisles that specifically indicate what are the boy toys and what are the girl toys. Apparently, the bias either only exists in the minds of society or we are just supposed to know because of the separation of pinkish toys and the other darker colors.
What are your thoughts on the issue.