They're mean to my child ... - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 06-13-2002, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
merpk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 14,887
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS#1 is 4yo, has a preschool class of about 14 kids. One kids in particular was his friend, they were so cute together.

Well, amidst some serious tantruming the last few weeks apparently related to family bed/sleeping-on-his-own issues, now I think it may be something else:

He said to me last week, "Zachary said he's not my friend anymore."

Then on Monday he said all the children in his class were calling him stupid. And he said particularly that Zachary was mean to him.

This is breaking my heart, and I don't know what to do.

Please suggest something. Help.

- Amy

merpk is offline  
#2 of 7 Old 06-13-2002, 11:05 PM
 
Arduinna's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 32,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Amy, I'm so sorry. That is so sad. Have your tried talking to the teacher to see what could be going on? That would be the first thing I would do. Even if the teacher doesn't know why, they should be made aware of what's happening so that they can intervene on your sons behalf.

Calling kids stupid shouldn't be allowed at preschool. ((HUGS))
Arduinna is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 06-13-2002, 11:05 PM
 
ekblad9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just a slingin'
Posts: 8,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Unfortunately I can't give too much advice. It really hurts when another child is mean to your child. As the mother of one child that tends to be the mean one I can only say that I want people to tell me when this happens. Not that you can tell everyone in the classes moms but are you friends with Zachary's mom at all? If you feel that this is really hurting your child and if it continues I would definately talk to her.

I have also been on the other end. My oldest tends to get picked on often. There are a couple of neighborhood kids that really are horrible to him. He has glasses and they call him "Scaredy Potter" and he's homeschooled which these kids parents can't stand. Anyway, he's old enough for me to tell him to stay away from those kids. He does that willingly now. At four it's really tough. It breaks your heart, I know. Is school almost over or will your son go in the summer? Have you discussed it with the teachers at all?

That's all I can say! Good luck!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

ekblad9 is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 06-13-2002, 11:30 PM
rda
 
rda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: MI
Posts: 183
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, I'm sorry to hear your son's feelings were hurt! My daughter had some problems with girls who she had previously been friends with being mean to her. What I learned from the experience was the following:

* Validate dc's feelings first. I had to be careful not to let her know that it hurt me and made me angry (heck, it made me want to throttle the little girl ), because that made her close up and not express her feelings.

* Talk to the teacher, hopefully he/she will be willing to watch and intervene. Unfortunately in my dd's case they were not.

* Talk to the other childs parents as if it's an issue you'd like to work together on. I approached it by saying something like "My daughter told me about something that happened today, but I know she's a bit upset, and I'm not sure she's able to give me the whole picture. I knew you would want to know what was going on and I was hoping you could help me piece this together..." I kept in mind that every parent wants to help their kids succeed socially and every parent would want to know if their child did something hurtful.

Good luck! I hope it all works out for you.
rda is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 06-14-2002, 11:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
merpk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 14,887
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the support ... this is so much more difficult than I imagined ...

Yesterday was actually the last day of school. The kids had a "party" with all the parents, and they sang a song and had cupcakes. Well, DS didn't interact with a single child the whole time we were there, sang the song and then stood in front of the cupcake table eating his cupcake. And then we left and he proceeded to have a "behavior episode" ... not exactly a tantrum, but misbehavior. Then my parents (who were with us) wanted to take us out to eat and he had a tantrum in front of the restaurant. We tried for five minutes to stop it and then I said home time. It continued at home for two hours.

He won't say what's the matter. All I got out of him was "I didn't want it to be the end of school. I want to go to school every day." Which is directly contradicting what he was saying all this week.

Anyway, DD was up with 105 temp last night and today it's raining, so we're just home. He's calm. Maybe he'll say more today ...

- Amy
merpk is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 06-14-2002, 11:17 AM
 
Arduinna's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 32,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Amy, just a thought.. Sometimes kids don't know how to handle their feelings and so they push away (just like some adults). So maybe your son and his friend knew school will be ending and they won't see each other, so the friend said " I don't want to be your friend anymore". Sort of as a way to deal with this? I know kids this age often use that phrase when things aren't happening the way they want.

I'm not sure how the other kids calling him stupid come in though.
Arduinna is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 06-17-2002, 12:33 AM
 
lorrielink's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Portland OR
Posts: 911
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i certainly dont know nething in this catagory with a 3 yo never been to school but i would say talk, talk, talk

talk to everyone, parents, teachers, principals, doctors, school nurses, talk, talk, talk dont let yourself get all worked up about it cause right now your teaching your kid how to deal with a tough situation and hell watch you for future reference

hope i didnt step on neones toes

good luck
lorrielink is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off