balancing internet time - Mothering Forums

 5Likes
  • 1 Post By DC2000
  • 1 Post By Xerxella
  • 2 Post By parentin20thcent
  • 1 Post By moominmamma
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 14 Old 01-02-2017, 11:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
DC2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
balancing internet time

Right now I am trying to decide between these 3 options to reduce the time my children spend online.

-Disney circle
-smartmadre
-screen time labs

I don't know anyone who has used the bottom 2. Anyone have any experience with them?
stephaniepifer likes this.
DC2000 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 14 Old 01-04-2017, 09:33 AM
 
Xerxella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,271
Mentioned: 551 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
Quoted: 283 Post(s)
I don't know what any of those things are. But, to reduce screen time if you wish, simply reduce screen time. We have no screen time on school days. Problem solved.
Denali Moss likes this.

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Mom to AJ 4/07
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and Genevieve 5/09
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


And THEN twins: Matt 11/14
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and his guardian angel Billy
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Ten days in our lives, a lifetime in our hearts


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Xerxella is offline  
#3 of 14 Old 01-07-2017, 01:14 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
are these programs to control screen time?
during the week they get screen time if they have to do some homework or research. I think it is important that children learn how to use the internet, a computer.
on the weekends we do a lot of outdoor stuff but they get about 1 hour a day on the weekends!
Chirina is offline  
 
#4 of 14 Old 01-07-2017, 07:39 AM
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I'm interested in ideas too. We need a plan. Funnily, the most recent Blackish episode is all about this.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/1020692

I have considered Circle. I will do more research on it. But so far it seems like the way it works isn't perfect for us. Example: often the filters for kids filter out a lot of the educational stuff we want him to use. Another HUGE problem for us is that our son needs 'warnings' before transitions. Cutting him off at a certain time limit is bound to cause a problem. It would be best if a warning just came up 10 minutes before

I can't just rule out screen time on school days. For starters, my son's homework requires screen time (he is supposed to do 10 minutes a day of an online program to practice a second language). On top of that we have a commute a few times a week that is simply easier for everyone if my son is allowed to watch videos during the drive.

Right now my hubby and I are coming up with a plan where our son 'earns' time for doing regular things (homework, getting ready in the morning, chores, taking showers, etc) and then he can spend his screen time. If our system works I will post more later.
marsupial-mommy is offline  
#5 of 14 Old 01-07-2017, 12:38 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxella View Post
I don't know what any of those things are. But, to reduce screen time if you wish, simply reduce screen time. We have no screen time on school days. Problem solved.
I agree with the elimination process to cut time as well. Why do children need a digital devise daily? I make a list of adventures for my kids to complete leaving very little time in the end for digital devices. I over see everything to make sure there is no corners cut or cheating if so they have to spend more time on the adventure. I also make cell phones stay in the living rooms at night and gaming wait till the weekend so they have to earn it with good behavior and grades.

Last weekend my nephew came over, expecting a boring day but with me sitting its never boring. I gave them a list. 1 hour playing in their room with music playing. That always ends up being 2+ hours. #2 was a minimum of 30 minutes outside to play soccer, walk the block or the dog. That turned into a "can I get some money for ice cream and snacks?" They were gone for an hour. The last thing was, they had to play one board game from start to finish following all the rules. I would play if they want and be banker if they choose a game that needed it. Tad-a! 2+ hours in Monopoly and mom was here to pick him up early and there was no time left for digital devices. They exercised, educated and had fun. We Lost track of time and the desire for for gaming.
EnviroBecca and Denali Moss like this.
parentin20thcent is offline  
#6 of 14 Old 01-07-2017, 01:24 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 7,450
Mentioned: 11 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 524 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentin20thcent View Post
I gave them a list. 1 hour playing in their room with music playing....
I am sure this depends on age and temperament, but I have always preferred not to impose parental limits and/or dictate how my kids spend their time. Instead I teach them how to recognize what is a healthy balance for them, help them design strategies to maintain that balance and explore what it is they enjoy doing. I think that when we control this for children, we interfere with their opportunity to develop self-regulation and discover interests.

I would encourage anyone grappling with the issue of screen time to read this article (and the studies and commentaries it links to). In a nutshell there is evidence that high levels of screen time are associated with obesity, reduction in outdoor play and reduced academic performance but only if the screen time consists of (passive) TV watching. If you extrapolate and say that other types of screen time must surely carry the same risks, you are making a logical error. It is the passivity of TV that is largely responsible for its negative influences, not the fact that it is displayed on a screen. Non-passive forms of screen time (touchscreen apps, gaming, coding, social media, internet exploration, research etc.) show no such negative associations.

Because this sort of research takes years to complete, we are only just beginning to see good quality studies done on screen time constituted by gaming, the internet and mobile devices. And surprise, the negative associations begin falling away once you're no longer talking about TV.

I have always felt this in my gut: our children's worlds are different in terms of quantity of screen time, but also in terms of the nature and quality of that screen time. It is a mistake to equate TV with user-driven, active, creative, social use of technology as it exists today. I think there is much good that can come of observing kids' use of tech devices free of outdated biases and fears, and supporting them from the side rather than controlling from above as they find balance in their lives.

And I would agree with those above: if you see a need to limit screen time in your family, just explain the rules and provide alternatives.

Miranda
beedub likes this.

Mountain mama to one great kid and three great grown-ups
moominmamma is offline  
#7 of 14 Old 01-08-2017, 10:37 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Screen time is biggest topic of parenting right now. Kids dont know how to regulate themselves when it comes to screens. Contracts dont work, they dont have a developed prefrontal cortex. You have to regulate it for them, so they can develop healthy habits. As far as I can see, kids need black and white guidelines with screens, just like junk food.
We use our pact, it works perfectly for us.
We have school day and weekend guidelines and we strictly abide by it.
All work and chores need to be done, bottom line, before screen time or free time.
Its more work for us, but its less arguing and complaining.
Denali Moss is offline  
#8 of 14 Old 01-15-2017, 04:10 PM
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,478
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 52 Post(s)
We have screen time trouble too, but in our case it's gotten out of hand. We have screaming fits when dd doesn't get a device when she thinks she deserves it. Like 1/2 the hw is done, so now can she get to be on a device? Or hw that was missed because she was absent has been done, the actual hw is pending, but her focus is to just get to a screen as fast as possible. We don't have cable t.v., but we do have an antenna. I have encouraged her to even watch t.v. instead, a cooking show or a home makeover, but she has absolutely no interest in that. We are at our wits end, having taken away the screen completely, even for days, or instead gotten her to use it less on a regular basis until one day, she is not listening again and will totally not get off the screen. So, today, we have taken a strong stand, that there will be no screen time for 3 whole months. We have tried everything else.

Don't imagine the worst incidents in your emotional life -- keep a positive attitude.
Neera is offline  
#9 of 14 Old 06-02-2017, 10:16 AM
 
Letitia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 529
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 55 Post(s)
We have a 2-pronged system.

The kids get two 1/2 hours (not to be taken back-to-back) per week of fun time on the computer. Basically, they waste it playing stupid, stupid games that will probably have improved their skills only if they want to be air-traffic controllers when they grow up. Those games are really fun for them, and my son at least would spend all his time doing them if we let him. We do limit the websites they can go to and the computer is in a very central place so we can easily check over their shoulders as we go about things in the main part of our house. This time is considered one of their "priviledges," and they have to have behaved well enough the week prior to earn it.

But screens will also be a huge part of their lives. If they want to look something up - if they have a question the internet would be best able to answer, or they're working on something for school, or they want to reserve a book from the library, or really anything that is best done on the internet - no limit, but the same sort of frequent peering over the shoulder, and it has to be a legitimate purpose.

That may seem like a lot of time devoted to shoulder-peering, but with the computer centrally-located we're able to do it. I work full-time, my partner works half-time, and the kids aren't home alone other than very briefly. Honestly, the place they are least supervised is school.

My cousin grew up addicted to computer games, and I see that potential in my son. It's really hard - I don't think allowing him to figure things out for himself will work because he does not have that sense of life beyond the right-here, right-now. He could probably "wait for the marshmallow," but in this case, there's nothing as concrete as an extra marshmallow if he exercises some self-control. Same thing with eating junk. He has eaten himself to the point of vomiting a few times when he's been out with friends and unsupervised around junk food. In that case, the vomiting was really good experiential learning and he seems to have learned from it, but there's no repercussion to life spent on the screen. So we provide the executive control for him, for now. I can only hope he can learn to see screentime as part of a bigger picture, but he's not there yet.

My daughter is totally different. If we explain to her how something is potentially harmful, she generally believes us and integrates it (we never, ever lie about things being harmful).

If you feel your daughter is not able to control herself, which it sounds like she's not, then yes, I agree with previous posters that you just set the limit. I think your 3 month thing is a good idea. That's a long time, and she'll have to figure out how to keep herself busy rather than whining until her next 1/2 hour (or whatever you choose) is due. But also, keep trying to build that structure of understanding why to set her own limits. It's really hard - we're far from perfect at this with our son - but it's an ongoing process.
Letitia is offline  
#10 of 14 Old 06-07-2017, 04:04 AM
 
aparent's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Perhaps another way of approaching this
is to require the children have a good
reason to use the computer and if they have
one to allow its use for a time. It's a tool that's
used only for certain purposes.
In this way not only are the negative effects
of computers on children minimized, I think
it encourages their sense of agency; a way of
living wherein they have a path and need
certain things to get there. If they're just spending
time on the computer, they're just spending time
and letting the internet lead them passively.

"Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make

   for our children." ~ Tatanka Iotanka

 Join and help start the nonprofit organization "World Parent"

   www.worldparent.org

aparent is offline  
#11 of 14 Old 06-07-2017, 08:20 AM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 7,450
Mentioned: 11 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 524 Post(s)
I like the idea of promoting intentional use of the computer. For a while we had a family agreement whereby you simply had to write down on the memo board in the kitchen when you were planning to finish using the computer. At that point you would need to stop for at least 15 minutes. It worked reasonably well. My kids were surprisingly judicious in choosing their finishing time, which suggested to me that they had good intentions, wanting to leave healthy balanced lives; if they spent hours sitting in front a screen this was typically because they struggled with transitioning away from it, not because they really wanted to spend their entire day there.

I do, however, think that there is some value in non-utilitarian use of the computer. I'm not sure what would count as a good reason to use the computer, but I have seen amazing stuff come out of my kids' exploration-driven internet browsing and straight-up online play, stuff that wouldn't necessarily pass muster as "a good reason" in advance. My kids have followed rabbit-trails of links into on-line courseware, political opinion-pieces, academic quizzes, brain-stretching mathematical and critical-thinking puzzles, book reviews and recommendations, artistic appreciation and creativity, technological savvy, personal development ideas and all sorts of new interests. Although computers are certainly tools that can be used effectively for specific purposes, the internet encompasses virtually all human knowledge and as such can present a wonderful opportunity for encountering new, unplanned ideas and opportunities, especially for older kids.

Miranda

Mountain mama to one great kid and three great grown-ups
moominmamma is offline  
#12 of 14 Old 06-13-2017, 11:08 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 7
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Limiting screen time was one of the key concerns that a lot of parents mentioned to us when we started developing the Atlas Mission (an educational game that teaches your child all the skills they need to succeed in the 21st century - reading, math, writing, science, creativity, critical thinking, coding, etc.).

Based on this, we decided to incorporate an anti-screen addiction timeout into it.

The way the timeout works is that Atlas Finch (the character that guides your child's journey in the Atlas Mission) tells your child that he is running out of charge on his batteries and so needs to go to sleep in order to recharge his batteries so that he can continue the adventure the next day.

So the timeout happens naturally as part of the game and kids don't get upset thinking that they are not being allowed to keep playing the game by a grown-up (i.e. you!) ;-)

If you want to try out the Atlas Mission, I'd love to get your feedback on the timeout feature.

Atlas Mission
The Ultimate Learning Game for Kids

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
atlasmission is offline  
#13 of 14 Old 08-21-2017, 09:13 AM
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
It's never too late to reduce screen time for you kids. All you have to do is to offer you kid an educational toy, colorful books or even play with them yourselves. You just need to be creative and fun when you interact with them. And most importantly, no screen time for ypur kid means you are also not allowed screen time in front of them (do it hidden).
EdanaRae is offline  
#14 of 14 Old 08-21-2017, 03:20 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 7,450
Mentioned: 11 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 524 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdanaRae View Post
It's never too late to reduce screen time for you kids. All you have to do is to offer you kid an educational toy, colorful books or even play with them yourselves.
Not sure how that would work for teens, lol!

Miranda
moominmamma is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 16,451

32 members and 16,419 guests
BBardott , christine.l2017 , Deborah , emmy526 , gizzypeach , healthy momma , katelove , Katherine73 , kathymuggle , Kelleybug , kingtravel , Lea Martin , lhargrave89 , lisak1234 , Lucee , Lydia08 , manyhatsmom , MarylandMommy , MDoc , Michele123 , Mirzam , MountainMamaGC , rebekah7 , rightkindofme , RollerCoasterMama , shantimama , Springshowers
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.