At what age does empathy start? - Mothering Forums

 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 07-20-2002, 04:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
Jodi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 31
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am not sure if I should be worried about my 8-year-old stepson. I have known him since he was 2 and I have never known him to care about anyone else. I didn't expect it before but by this age, I would think that he could acknowledge that others have feelings. When my 8-mos-old daughter is crying from teething or bumping her head, he tells her to be quiet and that her crying is bothering him or he calls her a bad girl. She is always bad if she's crying, no matter what the reason. I was having a bad day once and crying and he didn't even ask what was wrong, he just turned up the TV louder. He never wants to help anyone out, only if he is going to get paid for it. I could understand his behavior if he was neglected as a child but it was quite the opposite. I think his mom is a big problem because she tells him he is better than anyone and he has that attitude all the time. He has recieved everything he ever wanted and he is never satisified. He also lies very often. I am not sure what to do. Empathy and helping others is very important to me and he is very far from that. Am I expecting too much from him for his age?
Jodi is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 5 Old 07-20-2002, 08:49 PM
 
anythingelse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,879
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
He sounds like an 8 year old suffering with low self esteem. It sounds like he is disconnected to you and baby as well. Maybe it is time for some family counseling since he needs help finding his new place in the family as big brother. Once he works through his being disconnected to others, he will likely stop some of the negative behavior. I would not blame his mom, he has a lot on his plate for a kid to deal with. Hard to compete with a new baby and IMO 8 years old is a rough time for a boy regardless.
anythingelse is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 07-20-2002, 10:35 PM
 
Britishmum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 4,196
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I agree with Vanna's mom, he sounds like there are some issues that cause the behaviours that you are describing. I'd seek some family counselling (it's never just the child who has 'issues' - it is the whole complex family relationship that needs examining.)

Hope you find some support and help!
Britishmum is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 07-26-2002, 02:44 PM
 
merpk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 14,311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What does DH have to say about this? Or is he aware of it?

- Amy
merpk is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 08-07-2002, 11:01 PM
 
SueDid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 65
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with the others, sounds like there are some issues there that need to be explored...or he is used to everything revolving around him and miffed that it no longer does.

Our children have shown some empathy as young as 18-24 months...how many times have we all seen a toddler unhappy and tugging on Mom's (or someone else's) sleeve because a baby is crying. Or they pat your back and hug you if they think you're sad.

I hope you're able to find out what's going on with him and an easy solution to help!
Sue
SueDid is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 17,476

164 members and 17,312 guests
1babysmom , 2013 , aim4balance , alada , AMG , angeebaby , apeydef , badwolf092087 , BarefootBrooke , blessedwithboys , blissful_maia , bluefaery , boolery , bubbagirl , captain optimism , catladymeow , Celestical , ChasingDreams , Cheeky-One , chickabiddy , Citymomx3 , cmnewbs , Country.mama , Crazybean , Crimson8 , Crunchy Momma , daniellebluetoo , Dawn's mom , Deborah , emmy526 , EMRguy , EnviroBecca , erinmattsmom88 , Ewus , Fhnyc , floss&ferd , frugalmama , girlie1125 , girlspn , GraceFull01 , greenemami , GypsyMama1013 , happyhats , head4thehills , heyxxmcfly , hillymum , hmcgee12 , Hurricane_Luca , ian'smommaya , itybitywity , JadePlant , janinvan , jazzmom74 , jenlynhunter , Jessica765 , jtapc90 , kanani , Katc8910 , kateaton , Katherine73 , kathleecrane , katmtb , kindofcrunchy82 , KosmicMama , lasciate , lilmissgiggles , LiLStar , lilyofjudah , littlebear3 , LTurtle , mak127 , Mallow , mamabear0314 , mamabear81 , mamamargo , Mamja , mareseatoats , mariamadly , Marumi , Maurine , mckenke5 , MeepyCat , Mirzam , missmason , MissMuffet , momof2moogs , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , MPsSweetie , Mummoth , MylittleTiger , NaturallyKait , newmamalizzy , nicolemusicmama , nikkialys , oaksie68 , orangemomma , pisces.girl , Piskito , pokeyac , polkafizz , primalmom , prosciencemum , rainydaywoman , Ratchet , Reyhan , richandjess , robin3 , RollerCoasterMama , Rosehip , rubelin , rumi , SandiMae , sarafl , Satori , SecondtimeMama , semi-crunchy , Serafina33 , shantimama , Shmootzi , shoeg8rl , siennaflower , sillysapling , SkylerLiz , Slainte , sofreshsoclean , sortacrispy , sotohana , spewie , Springshowers , Staceyy , SummerStorm22 , texmati , thebyr , TheQueen16 , thtr4me , Tigerle , toothfairy2be , TourmalineMama , Tracy11360 , transpecos , TrishWSU , typebug , Veritas Vitae , verticalscope , violetflapjack , Wild Rose , winterpromise31 , Wolfcat , worthy , Xerxella , zannster , zoeyzoo
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.