6 yo accidents - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 07-26-2002, 12:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I looked quickly to see if there was already a thread on this, but I did not see any. So maybe you all can help. My oldest dd is 6 yo. Lately she seems to be having problems with peepee accidents. I mean all the time. Everyday when I pick her up from her camp (a very low key art program at a local college) she stinks of pee. I know that you all probably think that is mean to say, and I would never say it to her, but it is the truth. It is not that she just isn't wiping (which she doesn't), but she is having at least one accident a day. Today, in the course of an hour after camp she had 2. SHe does that "duck walk" thing, and I say "do you have to go" and she says no, and the next thing I know, she is wet. She has all sorts of excuses -- I forgot, I didn't know I had to go, I didn't feel myself go -- but I know she knows when she has to go. I feel very badly for her. I know she cares, even if she won't admit it. I have tried reminding her, I have tried making her go (ha ha, ever try to make a 6 yo do anything?). I am trying to talk to her calmly and sypathetically, but I don't seem to be able to help. She totally resists all of my suggestions. She still wears a pullup at night, which the Dr. says is just a neurological thing and not uncommon, but she even resists going to the bathroom before bed. She'll "pretend" to go and just flush. Often, she pees in the pullup before storytime is over! Any thoughts?
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#2 of 6 Old 07-26-2002, 11:12 AM
 
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We have similar issues with my 3 year old. Have you had a urologist check her out to make sure that there isn't something physical going on?

If she seems to be ok by the doctor, I woud do a couple of things. Not really big changes from what you are doing, but very slight variances that may help. (I know they do with my dd)

When you see her doing the "duck walk", instead of asking her if she needs to go (obviously she does, but she will still answer no) I would say "Oh, I see you need to use the bathroom- let's go quickly so there's no accident" For my dd, she responds better if I go in with her, and sometimes taking a book to read helps, or I will say When we're done going potty, we can go to your friend Katie's house, etc.

Make a point of everyone using the bathroom before you leave the house and talk it up "It's important to use tha bathroom before we leave so that we don't have to interrupt our fun trip to find a bathroom. Look- dad went, mom went, now it's your turn" We also have a rule that we don't leave the house til everyone has gone.

I would also talk big about keeping yourself healthy by going to the bathroom, how your body needs to expel those products, how you can get infections if you sit in urine or hold it too long, etc. And I would put it into her hands "It's your job to keep yourself healthy" My dd had a really bad infection that landed her in the hospital ER with a catheter, and the reminder of that goes a long way. We definately don't want to end up there again.
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#3 of 6 Old 07-26-2002, 11:13 AM
 
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I forgot to say that at our house, kids who don't go potty before bed don't get to pick a night-night story.
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#4 of 6 Old 07-26-2002, 11:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Khris. I mut admit, I am not the greatest with remebering that everyone needs to go to the bathroom before leaving, but I am trying. I like the rule about no potty=no bedtime story. We try to have pottying be the very last thing, but i am sure we could switch it around. I just don't understand why, at 6, this is suddenly an issue again. I am really trying to be calm and supportive, but she just outwardly does not seem to care. But I know she must. She had accident after accident tonight, and then refused to change her shorts. Very frustrating.
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#5 of 6 Old 08-02-2002, 08:26 PM
 
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In my experience frequent accidents happen at times of stress (such as after Sept. 11 ) or times of developmental leaps (physical or emotional) and also can be due to food sensitivities, sugar, caffeine, dairy, chocolate, etc....)

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#6 of 6 Old 08-04-2002, 11:25 AM
 
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Momof4, I agree that part of this might be related to her days at camp, not that camp is a bad thing, just stressful, and this may be how she is dealing with it. My boys seem to have poop issues during times of stress, and I don't deal with it all that well all the time. It seems like such an easy thing for ourselves, but for a little child, it must seem like there is so much going on...

Just wanted to say I feel for you guys. Ds1 at almost 8yo still gets "skidmarks" daily. My 4 1/2yo has daily poop acidents, no matter how much praise I give him, no matter how many times I suggest it, no matter what I try, he sneaks away at some point and goes. It is so frustating. And ds3 is 2y4mo, and there are no signs of using the potty. At all.
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