I feel like I'm in almost the same boat as you. We homeschool, I've got a 3 yr. old, 6 yr. old and 1 1/2 yr. old, and my dh has a long commute and comes home late. With summer here the kids have been staying up much later and on average I don't get them to sleep until at least 9:30, often 10 or so. I feel like it really does cut into the little time that I have with dh, and he has to get up early for work, too.
I'm sort of letting it slide a little since it's summertime and light later at night and just harder to get the kids to bed "on time", but when I actually feed them dinner at a reasonable time, and they get up early enough in the morning, then those things obviously get them to bed earlier that night. Also, getting ready for bed a good hour before I want them to go to sleep - getting undressed, having a snack, brushing teeth, reading stories - that helps, too. And, with the two older ones, if I help them get ready for bed and then let them read in bed with the door shut for pretty much as long as they want - I can go downstairs and hang out with dh and a lot of the time the kids will end up just drifting off.
xo - Kelly
♥ Handmade dress shop owner and mama of five - our littlest just born in December! ♥