Here're some of my theories. He was way too tired, even though he'd given up naps over the summer (I work for a school and the kids sleep in later during the summer)...this last Thursday was his last day at daycare and he has some anxiety about that--as much as he is able to understand that concept anyway--he also started attending a new preschool program yesterday, and I'm SURE that created some anxiety. And then there's just plain ole sibling rivalry, and he has good reason to feel jealous of her--she's had some medical issues that have had both DH's family and my family oohing and ah-ing all over her for more than a year and I'm sure it hurts him even though DH and I have tried to combat it--and he told me today, in a very ashamed voice that, "I just don't like Emma, Mama." I don't really expect him to, she took his place as baby after all, but at that same time, hitting others is simply unacceptable to me! Although I do think he saw that he'd crossed the line and was trying to fix it by asking her if she was okay. On the other hand, we went to a birthday party today, and he picked up a blown up ball and threw it at a little girl's head! And he has good aim! Luckily it didn't hurt her, and she didn't even really seem to notice, but I was completely mortified by his aggression!
Advice, suggestions, anything! welcome! Thanks.
I was appauled at the level of crap dd could dish out on little sister. I was also surprised at the level of annoyance LS could be to BS. Even at one I just couldn't always blame madeline for loosing it. Of course this has escalated despite our best efforts. #2 (who is 2 1/2) knows by now that if she can annoy #1 (6) untill she wallops her (and she is tough so she probably doesn't mind a quick thrashing if the payout is good enough) #2 will be in big trouble for a good while which is her ultimate goal. She has known this for a while. So now if it is clear that #2 was antagonizing #1 with the intent of sending her over the edge just so she would get into trouble neither one of them really gets in trouble. After all they both got the natrual consequences for thier behavior. Or if they have been playing this game too frequently they both get sent to seperate places for a while (then they whine because they don't get to play together. Go figure )
Your son sounds like he has been through a whole lot lately. And add being tired to the mix his fuse is probably really short right now. Prevention is key. Your dds right to physical saftey is obvious but your ds also needs to be free of annoying toddler behavior (and a 1 yo can be so annoying to a 3 year old as my dd reminded me almost hourly ).
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
Lilyka, you always make me laugh. And yes, dd can certainly be pushing and purposely annoying to ds. About 5 months ago, ds was wailing, "Mama, Emma's touching me!" I looked over, and couldn't believe that Emma was standing there, index finger pointed, hovering about one inch away from him, broadly grinning! I have NO idea where she picked that up, and I thought, "I cannot believe this is already starting!"
I also feel better because several times today he asked her to sit on his lap, and asked me to help her up so that she could watch him while he showed her how to play a game.
Also if it happens again try and talk to your ds after you've calmed down and taken care of dd and talk to ds about what happened. If he's alone in his room he might not be processing what happened. Help him think about it, he is probably scared too and needs to work through his emotions and know that he is still loved. You two (ds & you or dh)could also try and come up w/ some other ways for him to take out his frustrations besides hitting his sister. Have him think up some solutions of what he could have done. Hope this helps I'm sure I'll be posting about this soon enough.
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