I'm looking for help and encouragement.
My dd is 4 years 9 months and has entered what seems to be such a negative phase. She doesn't listen, she's rude, she uses a bossy, mean voice all the time.
Here is just ONE example of many daily interactions:
"DD, would you like some milk?"
"Mom! (rolls eyes) I told you I want APPLE JUICE!"- said in a very mean and angry way.
I feel like I've tried everything- answering nicely, making her ask nicely, making her apologize, answering just as meanly, ignoring.
Some days I feel we just spend the whole day snapping at each other, and I hate that negative energy!!! Other days I remain calm and postive and just keep gently correcting but then I finally say to myself- "I am putting out so much positive energy and all I get in return is nastiness!!"
I am in tears as I write this- she used to be so sweet and loving. What did I do wrong????
In her defense, she has had a lot going on in the last 12 months: we moved to a new state, she started pre-school, I had a baby, and she weaned. But these just feel like worn out excuses, repeated once too often.
Right now I just feel like a failure as a mother
Today we went to a LLL meeting and she interrupted constantly, used a nasty voice, swung a broom by a baby, wouldn't get something from my bag that I asked for, spilled her goldfish on the floor on purpose, kicked the beanbag her brother was resting on. I saw other moms giving me "the look" and I didn't blame them- I was very embarrassed and upset.
SOmetimes she acts like her "old self" but I feel like I am excusing her behavior constantly. I don't like to use "punishment" per se, but I have been taking away her video lately. I just don't seem to be getting anywhere with the gentle discipline techniques that used to work so well. I am just so discouraged!
Advice? BTDT? Encouragement? Please help.