Do you mourn the growth of your child????? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 12-23-2001, 01:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sometimes I can't help myself and cry when I think of how my baby has grown and IS growing up right before my eyes! Tonight I was looking at pictures of him taken just 4 months ago and it is staggering the difference I see! I don't want him to get older.....I don't want him to have to face the challenges that lay ahead....I don't want to have to think about school! I want him to stay as innocent and as happy as he is now! I don't want him to see the cruel side of people and the world!
But...I know he will keep growing......

What to do????
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#2 of 14 Old 12-23-2001, 07:34 PM
 
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I feel this way to from time to time. It is really hard for me to sort through my youngest child's outgrown clothes and pass them on to someone else. I usually end up crying.

We are planning on homeschooling, so the school thing isn't an issue.
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#3 of 14 Old 12-23-2001, 08:36 PM
 
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Yes, sometimes I do mourn~I miss the nursling and the first year of him being a baby. But, I also get excited about his growth and understanding. Example: This last week, he had a Christmas Singing Concert at school~it was wonderful and I felt so proud. He takes spanish and even sang 3 songs in spanish! Then, he was picked to be Joseph, in his class play! New "firsts" in his life are so exciting~at any age.

Whether you send him to a private school, public or homeschool, dealing w/cruel people is heartbreaking for us and our kids. But also look at 9/11 and trying to describe that horrible tragedy to our kids. Sadly, cruel people are a part of everyone's life and our world.

When I get down, I look to the future and what it holds for him and us .

Hugs~

Lisa

Lisa, Todd, Dane and Amber: & :::
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#4 of 14 Old 12-25-2001, 05:44 PM
 
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I find this doubly hard with my 4 yr. old (my fifth out of six children) she was born with achondroplasia (dwarfism) and the older she gets the more she and others notice her "difference"
She is the sunniest most loving child, and I so want to keep her feeling that way. Yet I know how hard society is on people who are different. I'd like to keep her home with me forever!!!
I must hope and pray the foundation of love and confidence she has recieved and will continue to recieve at home will see her through the rough times.
I have found as each one of my children have turned six I have mourned a little...but always look forward to the new stages and ages as their unique personalities continue to unfold.

peggy
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#5 of 14 Old 12-26-2001, 12:11 AM
 
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Yes...my first daughter is 4 months old and has just doubled in size. But my love is growing also, to unimaginable proportions. When I feel similar to the mourning you describe, I allow that feeling to *be* deeply in my heart. It's a great sweet lesson in letting go. Love is all we get to keep. All that we can give them. And it is enough.

What wonderful teachings our children bestow.
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#6 of 14 Old 12-26-2001, 02:17 AM
 
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Tonight I was cleaning out my son's dresser drawers to make room for all of the new clothes he got for Christmas. I added his too small clothes to the boxes downstairs and my heart was aching. His new clothes seem so big now! Alas, we moms are subject to so much rapid change in our little ones. Part of me can't wait for him to be big enough to read and write stories...but a big part of me misses the little babe who depended on me for everything.
My son growing older has got to be the most informative thing in my life right now.

Peace,
Amie
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#7 of 14 Old 12-26-2001, 08:00 PM
 
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I do get a bit nostalgic about dd's baby days, but I just love her so much at this age (3) that those feelings are easily replaced with excitement over all the new things she is doing every day! She is just starting to try to read, for example, and reading has brought me so much pleasure throughout my life, that I get chills just thinking about the day when she can read a whole book independently. I do worry about all the bad things, too, but those worries just give me the added excitement of a challenge; for example, how can I prepare my daughter to overcome an inherently sexist society? I do so love a challenge!

I think the baby-nostalgia is what will lead me to finally have #2, although that's not happening anytime soon...
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#8 of 14 Old 01-03-2002, 06:27 AM
 
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Yes, I definitely mourn both my girls growing up. I miss so much nursing my first dd and having loads of time for her. I miss the cute little things she used to say and I miss so much her feeling like she was my whole world.
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#9 of 14 Old 01-07-2002, 01:44 PM
 
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My 4yo has suddenly turned a corner and I can no longer imagine her as my *little* girl anymore. She's definately a big kid and ready for Kindergarten. I know I should rejoice in that she has the confidence to branch out, away from me more and more, but I miss her!

Heather (mom to Katie the big kid! and Jake 5 months)
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#10 of 14 Old 01-23-2002, 05:07 AM
 
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Yes, at 4 and 6 my dd's seem so old and sometimes it makes me sad. Of course, it's fun to think about what life is going to bring them, so that helps, but I still grieve from time to time. Just tonight when I was putting my 4 yr old to bed I was jokingly telling her that I wasn't going to let her grow up, she laughed and said, but I'm going to anyway, Mom.

When people think I'm crazy for cuddling with my children until they go to sleep, I just can't imagine missing out on that special time knowing that a day will come when they will not want me to lie with them at bedtime. That's almost unbearable to think about.

Alison
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#11 of 14 Old 01-26-2002, 10:11 AM
 
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First I want to say-sending you a BIG hug Peggy,as you have an extra challange to face.May your beautiful child shine to the world as she does to you! My DD#1 just turned 3.I miss the times when it was just her and I often.I've just started asking my dh to spend more time with dd#2 so I can spend more one on one with dd#1.It helps,but I still feel sad sometimes.
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#12 of 14 Old 01-26-2002, 10:33 AM
 
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It's all too rapid.

We bought a calender for dd1. every day she tkes off a page. When she finishes at the end of the year, she will be nearly 7 instead of just 5 an'a bit!

If we could afford it, we would have another

a

The anti-Ezzo king
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#13 of 14 Old 02-06-2002, 03:33 PM
 
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Oh my gosh, I mourn it too! Especially after they've fallen asleep and I look at their beautiful little faces....I'll miss moments like that when they're all grown up. I like to think it's natures way of making sure we remember to enjoy them while they're still young. Then we can enjoy the adult relationship we will have with them when they're older!

Warmly, Steph
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#14 of 14 Old 02-06-2002, 05:17 PM
 
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I go through this periodically. I get teary every time my youngest reaches a milestone because I know it will be the last time for our family. Every time I bake him a birthday cake I cry because it is the last time I'll bake a 4th (or whatever) birthday cake...stuff like that. My oldest looks me straight in the eye now and I wonder how he got so big. My middle son's babyhood is a blur. I try really hard to be involved and present for them all, but sometimes it is hard not to wish time could stand still.
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