Yes, its me again. The same mama who posted about 4 year old bedtimes and 4 year old rudeness. Can you tell we're going through a rough time around here?
For the past month or so, my daughter has revisited the tantrum. She throws one or 2 every day, lasting from 2 minutes to 45 minutes. Something will set her off and she starts crying and screaming and sometimes writhing on the floor.
Last night she couldn't find the stuffed cat she wanted to sleep with. Dh and I both stopped what we were doing and looked everywhere for that cat. We couldn't find it (I think its in my friends car), and dd just flipped. I calmly told her that she needed to go to bed (tiredness was definitely one issue here), but she wouldn't calm down. Her screaming woke the baby, her father lost it and really yelled at her. I got everyone calmed down and into bed, but we all felt emotionally terrible.
The thing is, these tantrums are so draining on the *whole family.* I feel like we are all happily cruising along, until dd throws these bombshell which drains us all emtionally for the next hour or more!
Last night I told her she couldn't watch her video tonight because she woke the baby. But really, what kind of message is this? "You were unkind to me, so now I'll be unkind to you?"
So, my question is- how do you handle a tantrum in an older child? When she was 2, I was sympathetic. Now, although I do feel sympathy, I also feel anger and exasperation and resentfulness at the effect it has. I'm also worried about her.