"I don't like you!!!!" - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 01-01-2002, 07:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
peacemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Locust Valley, New York
Posts: 594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay, this is really for a friend, but I'd love everyone's thoughts so maybe I could help her out. I think I may have posted about this on the old boards but I know there are lots of new members and this is a new forum so I figured I'd give it another try.

My good friend's ds, age 3, has been exhibiting a sort of unusual behavior in which he will react with anger to strangers for no apparent reason. The usual scenario will be a person coming up to him in a supermarket while he is seated in the cart, smiling and saying, "What a handsome boy...what's your name?" or something like that. He will scream, "Go away, I don't like you!!!!" at the person. Sometimes he will even do this if a person just walks by and says nothing to him. Poor Mom gets so embarrassed, tells him it's not nice, but when she has tried to ask him about it all he'll say is, "I didn't like that man!"

A little background - this friend has been dealing with lots of aggressive behavior from ds, but the aggression, while a problem, always has an apparent trigger, like a kid trying to take his toy away. Although sometimes he does seem to feel unreasonably threatened, sort of paranoid, like a child will just be walking past him and he'll lash out, thinking she's going to take something from him. Don't know if this has any significance.

Anyway, any ideas, thoughts, similar experiences? His anger at strangers seems so weird and uncalled for. My friend is really at her wits' end.
peacemama is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 01-01-2002, 08:21 PM
 
peggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: MA
Posts: 4,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My now 14 yr. old ds was like this at that age. It was embarassing to have him lash out at strangers! He had sensory integration problems. In short his personal space was a little wider than most peoples. To him it felt like some one was right in his face even if they were a respectable distance away. He also had more temper tantrums and agression problems than any of my other children. I felt like a complete failure until I had him evaluated. With a little occupational therapy and alot of patience, he has turned into a very intelligent, compassionate young man.

peggy
peggy is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 01-01-2002, 08:21 PM
 
ekblad9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just a slingin'
Posts: 8,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had to check and see if you knew me when I first read the post! My 3 1/2 year old does the same exact thing. I think it's really just a personality thing. I do get embaressed sometimes. Now I just try to stay one step ahead of him. If I see someone coming and he starts to make a face or say something I divert his attention elsewhere. If he does get to the point where he growls at the person or says "I don't like you" I simply apologize and explain that he's going through a phase and we're working on it. Lately I've been able to get him to apologize himself. Also, we talk before we leave the house about trying not to act out in that way. He's getting better!

Good luck to your friend!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

ekblad9 is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 01-08-2002, 08:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
peacemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Locust Valley, New York
Posts: 594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can this be moved to Parenting Issues? Nobody ever looks here!
peacemama is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 01-09-2002, 12:01 AM
 
Missgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: zipping around MDC
Posts: 7,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've talked with Cynthia and the moderators about this and here is the plan that we came up with: First, we are going to push and make members aware of the "today's active topics" button. I think most members know about it and use it. If they do use that option they will see your post. I am going to post a thread in TAO reminding members to use that so they can see all the threads in all the forums. Second, the moderators are going to be more agressive in moving threads that don't belong in the TAO or Parenting Issues forums.
I thank you tremendously for making sure you are posting in the correct forum...unfortunately not every member does that and it does cause "smaller" forums be become less and less popular!

I remember a thread about this on the old boards about members not getting their needs met on the "smaller" forums. I think it is a natural occurence that happens when members get "comfy" in the forum they spend the most time in. If i recall correctly, the members took the nudge nicely and did start visiting other forums. So we'll see if this plan works for now!

So I hesitate to move your thread in that it will "go against" our new plan of making this forum (and others) more popular!

Try to hang in there........believe it or not...you are being very helpful in posting in the appropriate forums.

Missgrl
Missgrl is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off