Can your 8-9 year old tie shoes? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 07-21-2005, 07:45 PM - Thread Starter
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My ds is 8 1/2 and has Aspergers. He cannot/will not tie his shoes, even after working on it in OT for several months.

DH sees ds being stubborn and says ds *will* wear lace up shoes this year and he will tie them on his own.

I say leave him alone, he'll learn it eventually and what's the point of making him meltdown every morning before school over shoelaces?

So.. what do you think? Would it be a big deal to you, and would you make your dc do/learn this NOW or just let it go and let your dc wear slip ons/velcro until he is interested?

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#2 of 7 Old 07-21-2005, 08:04 PM
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To me that would not be worth the conflict. What's the point? He can do it if he needs to. He doesn't NEED to wear shoes that tie. I'd say let it go.

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#3 of 7 Old 07-21-2005, 08:13 PM
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10yo dd hated to tie shoes and refused to learn for years. She has some fine motor coordination problems too. she still prefers slip on or velcro sneakers and MaryJanes in the winter and simple sandles for summer. She can tie her shoes now, but she was 8 yrs old before she really gave it a chance. Given how many choices are available now, I'd not fight about it. Of course what I do with my own shoes is tie them, but loosely, so I can slip my foot in and out. So I don't actually tie them very often, even though they are tied laces. I started doing that when I was pregnant and was having trouble trying shoes.
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#4 of 7 Old 07-21-2005, 08:28 PM
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DD is only 6.5 but can *kinda* tie her shoes (I haven't checked to see for like 9 months). That said, I actually prefer her to not wear tied shoes. We generally go with the ones like this:
for normal wear and then these:
for winter dress up.

For summer dress up she wears velcro white sandals and she really has no tie shoes. There is absolutely NO reason for her to need to tie and if it causes her *any* stress (which it would) I can't see a reason to push it (I would encourage her if she was interested, but she isn't). I am sure that if she ever actually wants to have tie shoes she will be able to figure it out.

I would encourage your DH to look around at *adult* feet in public and figure out what % actually wear tie shoes at this point--- I sure don't think it is very high!



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#5 of 7 Old 07-21-2005, 09:19 PM
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i had a really hard time pearning to tie my shoes. i wore mostly buckel shoes, mary janes or sandels. the whole thng just didn't make sence to me. i couldn't "see" what my mom was doing when she tried to teach me. i finally picked up the 'two bunny ears' approach and at 32 it's still how i tie my shoes. : in fact if i want my dd to learn any other way, someone else will have to teach her.
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#6 of 7 Old 07-21-2005, 10:02 PM
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Two bunny ears worked well for me, My mom made me cutout shoes to practice on for 'fun'. She put big fat laces in them. I learned much quicker on those than trying on my feet.

I have no fine motor skills, even now...
My dd also took a long time to learn.
I didn't push it but was amazed at how many people thought it was silly she couldn't do it...we also have very fat hands and fingers

8 might be enough?
Or maybe 9 will be?
EDD September 18, 2015
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#7 of 7 Old 07-21-2005, 10:17 PM
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Dh has always said my side of the family has large hands, maybe that was my problem. I remember being the last kid in my K class to learn to tie. We had little paper boats that would hang outside the classroom on a string and once a dc could tie, the boat would be brought inside the classroom, unsure where it went after that. My boat was the very last and I remember kids always jumping up to touch my boat as it hung all alone. Very tramatic.
My dd has some SID issues and I can tell you that I wouldn't want to deal with the struggle of "making" dd tie a shoe. Mornings are hectic already. dd doesn't have any tie shoes and I don't plan on buying any soon. As a pp said, there are so many choices it's just not that important. Seriously, if you needed to tie an "important" knot, would the basic bow be the one you would use. I guess presents are the only thing where a bow would be useful.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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