Ugh! We just spent time over Thanksgiving with my DH's cousin's 4yo dd (our dd is 3). I know it must be partially age-related, but the cousin's dd was so mean and bossy to my dd, I felt terrible and didn't know what to do. Example: wanting to "force" my dd to play exactly as she wanted to, to the point of physically pushing her around. Wanting to shut her in the closet, telling dd that she was a "bad girl". Wanting to play "Mommy", which consisted of the 4yo being the mommy and my dd being the "baby", getting yelled at, pushed around, and bossed.
This kid was so bossy, she didn't even want my dd to sing a Teletubbies song which she was innocently singing. She was literally screaming at my dd to stop singing. Dd obviously did not want to play with 4yo after a short while, and I tried to keep her away from dd when I realized that my attempts to shift the play into something less aggressive were not going to work.
Of course, neither the cousin or his wife said anything other than a feeble, "I don't think she likes when you hug her like that" ("hug" being grabbing dd around the neck and trying to drag her.)I can't stand situations like that. If it was in public like at the library or something, I would just get away from the kid. But with family, it was expected that all the kids would play together happily while the grownups chatted. Ideally, that would be great, but it didn't work out that way.
Any advice to keep dd from being treated like dog doo while not insulting the uninvolved parents? I never want to go to another family event, I swear! I don't want to come across as "my dd is sooooo perfect, she would never act like that", but she goes to preschool and gets along fine with kids there according to her teachers, so I don't think she was instigating trouble with the 4yo.
This kid was so bossy, she didn't even want my dd to sing a Teletubbies song which she was innocently singing. She was literally screaming at my dd to stop singing. Dd obviously did not want to play with 4yo after a short while, and I tried to keep her away from dd when I realized that my attempts to shift the play into something less aggressive were not going to work.
Of course, neither the cousin or his wife said anything other than a feeble, "I don't think she likes when you hug her like that" ("hug" being grabbing dd around the neck and trying to drag her.)I can't stand situations like that. If it was in public like at the library or something, I would just get away from the kid. But with family, it was expected that all the kids would play together happily while the grownups chatted. Ideally, that would be great, but it didn't work out that way.
Any advice to keep dd from being treated like dog doo while not insulting the uninvolved parents? I never want to go to another family event, I swear! I don't want to come across as "my dd is sooooo perfect, she would never act like that", but she goes to preschool and gets along fine with kids there according to her teachers, so I don't think she was instigating trouble with the 4yo.