Well, there is nothing more embarrassing than hearing yourself come out of your child's mouth.
We were in line at the post office - which here is sssssslllllllooooooooowwwww and always has 50 people in line.: So DD and I are in line, and of course the place is SILENT because God forbid anyone talk to each other - like in an elevator. So after about 10 minutes my DD lets out this dramatic sigh and says in a LOUD voice "UGH! BAMMIT! (her word for dammit) IS ANYONE WORKING HERE OR WHAT?!?" Most of the people laughed and some old people gave me stink eye.
IN target we were shopping and she and a rather large woman bumped into each other in the toy isle, and the nice lady patted her on the head and said "Oh, I am sorry sweetie." and my darling DD replied "That's OK. You're squishy!" thankfully thre lady was nice and got a good laugh out of it.
We live in a very rural area so it is no big deal if my ds pees outside, however my brother lives in a large city. My mom, kids and I went to visit him last summer when ds was 4. He has a very nice park near his house so we walked the kids over to it one afternoon. Ds runs ahead of us and gets to the park first. Then right in the middle of the park in front of a family with 5 little girls ds drops his pants and starts peeing. My mom handled it great. when we got to him she pulled his pants up and said to the mom of the little girls "we're not from around here" and we walked away. He will never live that down.
DS and I were at a JCPenney Portrait studio to pick pictures last summer. It was really crowded and DS and I had been waiting in line quite awhile. When we got up to the counter the man at the cashier next to us was Jamaican. He had beautiful dark skin and a rich, melodic Jamaican accent. He really got DS's attention. DS yelled out really LOUD "Hey look mom! A chocolate man!!!!"
We tend to take "family showers". Me, DH, DD, and DS. Well one cold winter evening DH and I were talking after dinner about taking a fam shower and DD, 4 at the time, asked Grandma, who was visiting, if she wanted to take a family shower with us. We all had a good laugh about that one.
Allison wife and mom to four.
And once he insisted on going on and on about a larger boys "nursies in the hotub. Fortunatly the guy could not really hear him and I got the hell out of there.
These are awesome! I actually called DH on his cell to read him some since DS is his first and he hasn't gotten the joys of that yet.
When DD was little she would always ask very loudly if I was going pee or poo when we were in public restrooms.
When she was about 2 she almost had an accident that really scared me and I yelled "Oh sh!t". Well for a few months after that she would walk around saying "Oh sh!t, oh sh!t, oh sh!t". Didn't live that one down for around.
Also, when she little she pronouced fish just like b!t(h. So you can imagine the looks that got us pretty much every where we saw fish. Ugh
Originally Posted by OakBerry
When he was much younger he would point to any man in the vicinity and say "Daddy"! One time he kept saying it to the teenage boy bagging groceries at the supermarket, and the kid was purple with embarrassment. I wasn't that embarrassed (used to it by now) but I felt bad for the teenager, and was trying not to laugh for his sake!
I used to put cool cloths on my head when I had a headache. A few days after dd was born, we had to have some electrical work done in our kitchen. So the electician is there, and I'm sitting on the couch with the baby, and DS walks out of our bedroom, just as the electrician is coming out of the kitchen, with one of my jumbo-sized maternity pads stuck to his forehead. "I got a headache, Mama!" The electrician cracked up, "So that's what those are for!"
Anyone have anything else embarrassing to add?
DD was going potty today and asked for us to wipe her bum. DH went in there, wiped her, flushed and then sat down to go himself. He was teasing her and said "The seat's still cold-why didn't you warm it up?" She said (complete with the appropriately sized hand movements) "I only have a leetle bum, daddy. You have a BIG bum. And I have a leetle vulva and you have a leetle, leetle, leetle penis."
For the record, so my DH doesn't kill me, he thinks she should have switched the adjectives on his body parts.
I once heard that you should tell your children the correct names for everything. And since my kids tend to find all sorts of things in our house, they learned a lot of names. Unfortunately, my son, who was about eighteen months at the time, was terrified of a large, white, noisy, cylinder-shaped heater at a friend's house. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Big scary tampon!" To him, that was the shape of the heater. The older kids thought it was hillarious.
When ds was just two my Dad died and we were in the car on the way home from the memorial service in a car packed with funeral goers, family friends, etc... Well, a car passed us and little ds raises his tiny fist, shakes it, and says, "Slow down, a**hole!"
I sat quietly, hoping no one would notice. Of course, everyone did and cracked up.
And then just about a year ago we were in a big teaching supply store on a super crowded saturday when ds, then 5, found the giant map rug in the middle of the store. He stands on Florida and shouts at full volume: "LOOK MOM! I'M STANDING ON AMERICA'S WANG!!!" Dh and I nearly died.
The next one was Jane asked mommy can i have a quarter she goes to the bathroom real quick i wait by the carts and she comes out mommy look at my cool sticker and had a pad sticking on her chest .
Our family NEVER says things like this, or any name calling at or about people. I pulled my son away to our room right away, and he and daddy and I had an hour conversation before starting over. But still.... Sheesh. I am so grateful that it is just us for Christmas (no extended family). We know our kiddo... and this in no why had to ruin his/our day. But if this had been in front of my husband's family, it would have totally annihilated the Christmas day and tailspinned the rumors, the "he needs spanked" etc.
... That boy, that boy.
Ds1 and I go to the (indoor) swimming pool in town frequently. A while ago we had just started showing him how to retract his foreskin and clean his penis. Well, one day under the shower -they're right next to the pool - I took off his swim trunks to wash him, and he demonstrated the foreskin retraction, loudly announcing "You don't have a glans, mama!"
Same pool, different day, in the crowded communal dressing room, reaching for my breasts:"How are your mammies (his word for breast/nursing)?" I try to change the subject and softly tell him this is not a good place to talk about that. "But I just wanted to pet them!"
My lesson I learned that day was to never assume you know what a two year old is thinking.
More recently she brought home some paper gingerbread men that she made in Kindergarten. My DH and I were so embarassed when we noticed that they all had penises.
..My dd and I were out shopping at the grocery store. An elderly woman stopped in the middle of the isle and just ripped a big one right in front of us. My daughter looked up at me stunned for a moment and then bust out laughing and said really loud "Mama that lady farted so loud!"
My dd also has the habbit of asking me if I farted when we are at the checkout line. The first time the man checking us out turned bright red. I think dd does it just to embarrass me.lol
Mama to one cool girl4/3/01 and a sweet boy1/1/08...and sweet Goobie Rue born 3/6/12
**formerly known as Mamablueberry**
(Taken from my ex's blog from the 23rd of December...)
Today, the kids were playing some new PS2 games they got from grandpa Neil (Jen's dad) for Christmas. They had Christmas with him yesterday. Anyway...
Nathan was playing some Dragon Ball Z game and one of his enemies was this android in the form of a young blond girl.
I say "This doesn't look right, big old muscular you beating on some cute girl."
Nataleigh says "As cute as she is on the outside, she is that evil on the inside."
Nathan almost lost the fight for laughing so hard.
My kids have this 'companion' if you will, called 'Little Dude.' Any one of them can invoke a Little Dude, by holding their hand out like it's in a puppet and work the fingers like a mouth.
Anyway, Noah takes his little dude and starts chomping away at Nathan's chest and says "I'm stealing your soul! heehee"
I respond "What was that!?!"
Nataleigh explains "That was little dude. Sometimes he'll bite your nose."
"Biting a nose is onething. Stealing a soul is a whole different concept."
I just don't know where they come up with these things sometimes.
I've quoted Nataleigh a couple times here recently.
Today, in the car, Nathan was running off at the mouth about weird random stuff and I hear Noah say from the back:
"Who are you? And what have you done with Nathan?"
I just about died laughing.
This time from Nathan.
"Santa Claus must live at the north magnetic pole, because that's the only north pole with land."
I was showing the kids the progress my tomato plant has been making. Nataleigh and Noah were looking it all over and looking at the little green tomato and the little yellow flowers.
"You're making up for all the plants you've killed. Have you killed many plants?"
I guess I can't escape my past.
And one last one from the summer....
Last weekend was a big one but it started with the work picnic at a local orchard.
One of the buildings at the place was a "Hay Barn" which looked like a large shed open along one side with a lot of hay inside that the kids could run around in and do whatever it is kids do in a big pile of hay.
Nataleigh and I were sitting in there because it was shady and it was very hot. I was sitting on a platform just hanging out when Nataleigh sneaks up behind me with a big pile of hay and throws it down on my arm.
"Hey!" I exclaim.
Cool as anything, Nataleigh says "That's what it's called a 'hay barn.'"
my mil told me that when sil was 2ish (i think she;d been weaned), she pointed to mil's breast and said "that's milk"
That's right...said mil
sil pointed to the other breast, and said, "what's in that one, apple juice?"
DS (3) has this fascination with "bad words". We were driving down the street and he was asking me "Mommy, is tree a bad word? Can I say tree?" and so on to everything we saw until finally I got exasperated and told ds "Mommy will tell you what the bad words are, honey. If you say one, I will let you know." And clear as day he says "F**K - that's a bad word." I guess I asked for that one.
C.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to A.- 02/04, I. 01/07,E. 09/10 and
expecting the surprise of our lives Fall 2012!
not embarrassing but darn funny.... We went to Chicago with the kids, my bil and another couple when Dd was just about 26 months. She wasn't terribly clear with her words and ended up prouncing truck as cock. Well the other couple, Jamie and Lisa, rented a red suv for the trip. When we were driving to the zoo we got lost and they had to follow us out of downtown Chicago during the city wide marathon. Charlotte spent the entire time asking us where Jamie's big red cock was and when would she see it again?
bil, dh and I were the only ones in the vehicle (other than our two kids ) and were having a hard time not laughing ourselves sick over the cock comments.
DS pronounces Percy, one of the Thomas the train characters, puss*...
The worst is when he goes around choosing which characters we like the best for us. Mommy likes James. Daddy likes...
And he's done that in public restaurants too. No place is exempt.