Most embarassing thing your dc said/did... - Page 8 - Mothering Forums

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#211 of 230 Old 11-22-2007, 02:46 AM
 
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My DD who is 4 1/2, had recently taken to having this convo with everyone...

DD: I am almost 5.
Everyone else: Really? (or something along those lines)
DD: I'll be a big girl when I'm 5, not little.
Everyone else: Really? (or something along those lines)
DD: And when I am 5, I'll get big milky oobies like mommies, and a tatoo that doesn't wash off, cause I'll be big.
Everyone else: usually silence paired with a look to me

Yea, so my daughters goals in life are to have big lactating breasts and a tatoo...really, she gets exposed to other things, I swear!
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#212 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 05:33 AM
 
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I have massive insomnia, and boy, this thread is making it easier to deal with!! Thanks for all the great stories. I am on the laptop, in bed, shaking from keeping the laughter in so that I don't wake the baby!!
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#213 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 09:15 AM
 
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While at a prenatal visit for #4 with ds3 who was 3.5...
I told him that while Mommy was at the doctor they needed to check to see if the baby was ready to come soon, and said he needed to say seated in his chair while she did this. Well, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat.

So I'm laying on the table assuming the position that we are all oh-so-familiar with, doc is checking my cervix when ds3 shouts out with eyes as big as saucers in a voice that did not match his tiny body,
"MOM!! *gasp* Why did your ba-gina get SOOOO big when she put her that thing in there?!?!?!?"

OMG. Thought I would die. I told him we'd talk all about it when we got to the car. The OB was trying her hardest not to crack up.

If you can't take the heat get out of the Kitchen.
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#214 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 09:28 AM
 
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OK, I have another one. Same kid. Now a year and a half older at the park with my father who NEVER watches my kids (any of them ). They are having a dandy time (I'm at a doctor's appt, or something) then Reed starts going up to all the strangers in the park and says, "I remember when I was breastfeeding. I have an incredible memory." My poor father, Mr. Prim and Proper. He was most embarrassed. And yes, that was the last time he ever offered to be around any of his grand kids solo.

If you can't take the heat get out of the Kitchen.
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#215 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 02:31 PM
 
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and

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#216 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 04:08 PM
 
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OMG these are funny!

We are on vacation and have just come back from swimming. Ds and I are showering. The shower stall is big and it echos. I know the walls are not sound proof as I can hear our neighbors.

Ds says, in his clear, loud voice. "Mom, Mom, MOM LOOK, YOU'RE DRIPPING FROM YOUR BIG HAIRY!!!"

I say, quietly, "that's my vulva, use an indoor voice please"

Louder still "MOM, YOUR DRIPPING FROM YOUR BIG HAIRY VULVA!!!!"

Our neighbors smiled whenever we met in the hallway
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#217 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 04:15 PM
 
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I was using a public restroom with DD and DS when DS (who was 4 at the time) yells, "MOM, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE A PENIS!"
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#218 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 04:44 PM
 
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DS was really attached to a handful of pistachios and just *had* to take them out to the mailbox with him. On the way back he tripped and fell. Of course, he dropped his precious cargo and was really upset about the whole thing.

The entire cul-de-sac could hear him as he wailed "MY NUTS!!! WAAAAH! MY NUTS!!!!!"




He also likes to notify me when he gets one of those random erections:

"Mommy my penis is getting long! But it will get small again." Um, okay, thanks for sharing.
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#219 of 230 Old 11-29-2007, 05:05 PM
 
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I am about 30lbs over my ideal weight. I don't talk about weight around my kids but my 5.5 yo is very aware of health and has asked me if I'm healthy because of my big belly. We talk about how every is made differently and that mommy is exercising and working on being as healthy as I can be.

So, were sitting around at a family gathering - tons of people around and the TV is on. There is a commercial for Slim Fast and my DD yells in a really loud voice "Mommy!!!! You need to drink this shake to get rid of your big belly!!!" Nice....
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#220 of 230 Old 11-30-2007, 09:00 AM
 
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OK, so this is a good one. I went out with dh last night and was telling him about this hilarious thread, and so he chimes in and says, "Oh, so I supposed you told them about the time..."

My husband was arrested for PI at a gambling boat SEVERAL years ago (I'm shocked that I forgot this). In his defense he really had sprained both ankles and decided not to shave while off work for a week due to his injuries. He didn't look so hot. He demanded a breathalizer but they refused. The whole thing was actually really screwed up. So I am all pissed off and now I have to go bail his sorry carcass out of the pokey with our then 2 children in tow who are maybe 9 mos and 3 ish.

So now to the funny part. A month or two had past, I had decided to get portraits of the boys at Sears to give away as Christmas presents, along with the rest of the Tri-State area. We are waiting among the masses when ds1 pipes up as he points at a handicapped payphone and says, "Look mama!! They have the same kind of phone here they had at the jail when we had to bail Daddy out!"

THAT was embarrassing.

If you can't take the heat get out of the Kitchen.
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#221 of 230 Old 11-30-2007, 09:03 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amcal View Post
I am about 30lbs over my ideal weight. I don't talk about weight around my kids but my 5.5 yo is very aware of health and has asked me if I'm healthy because of my big belly. We talk about how every is made differently and that mommy is exercising and working on being as healthy as I can be.

So, were sitting around at a family gathering - tons of people around and the TV is on. There is a commercial for Slim Fast and my DD yells in a really loud voice "Mommy!!!! You need to drink this shake to get rid of your big belly!!!" Nice....
They do love to push those buttons, don't they? We had a contractor here to bid our basement job a couple of weeks ago and I told ds3 that this was the guy who was going to put walls up and nice soft carpet to sit and play on. And he says, "Will it be as soft as your tummy?" :

If you can't take the heat get out of the Kitchen.
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#222 of 230 Old 11-30-2007, 03:14 PM
 
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"Mommy your pee pee is hairy. I can see it, right there." This was in a public restroom.
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#223 of 230 Old 11-30-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamasgroovin View Post
ds3 shouts out with eyes as big as saucers in a voice that did not match his tiny body,
"MOM!! *gasp* Why did your ba-gina get SOOOO big when she put her that thing in there?!?!?!?"

OMG. Thought I would die. I told him we'd talk all about it when we got to the car. The OB was trying her hardest not to crack up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMommy View Post
I say, quietly, "that's my vulva, use an indoor voice please"

:
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#224 of 230 Old 04-23-2008, 09:24 PM
 
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Old yet hilarious thread
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#225 of 230 Old 04-23-2008, 10:49 PM
 
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I haven't had a chance to read all the threads, but I read enough to see some similar to this. For me it has to be, hands down, the time we were on an overnight train and there was an African American family sitting in front of us. They had a child about my oldest's age (about 2 at the time) and an older son about 8-9. My son was playing with them and we were all having a nice time. Then their older son fell asleep. MY son looks at him and announces, in a voice all could hear, "monkey sleeping." Needless to say all conversation stopped after that!
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#226 of 230 Old 04-24-2008, 02:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by musikat View Post
I haven't had a chance to read all the threads, but I read enough to see some similar to this. For me it has to be, hands down, the time we were on an overnight train and there was an African American family sitting in front of us. They had a child about my oldest's age (about 2 at the time) and an older son about 8-9. My son was playing with them and we were all having a nice time. Then their older son fell asleep. MY son looks at him and announces, in a voice all could hear, "monkey sleeping." Needless to say all conversation stopped after that!
Oh my gosh!
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#227 of 230 Old 04-24-2008, 01:13 PM
 
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A boy in my son's kindergarten class was "star student" and had to get in front of the class to talk about some of his favorite things. This boy couldn't say the "K" sound and substituted the "T" sound for "K".

He told the kids he had recently visited his grandma and that she had new "titties." And he LOVES cuddling her "titties"... they're so soft and sweet. All the adults in the classroom were cracking up while also being slightly horrified. The kids knew exactly what he was talking about!-- (Kitties.)
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#228 of 230 Old 04-24-2008, 02:03 PM
 
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Ok, this happened just a few weeks ago.

DD, 6 yrs old, is very into barbies and princesses and has several of various "skin tones" to play with, as well as MANY friends w/ darker skin than we have (We're a white family.). We don't make a thing out of it, we don't care. You know?

We were at a funeral for an acquaintance and had all 3 kids in tow. This acquaintance was a black woman. So we're sitting there in this very quiet room waiting for the funeral to begin and dd kind of loudly whispers, "Mom, why are there so many BLACK ppl here?"

We were sitting in a row w/ a black person, sitting behind a row of black ppl, sitting in front of a black couple...

I wanted to crawl under the chair. :

 upsidedown.gif  Please see my Community Profile! energy.gif blogging.jpg about Asperger's Syndrome!

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#229 of 230 Old 04-24-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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A few months back my 4.5 yo got laryngitis. She went around telling everyone she had lara-my-gina.
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#230 of 230 Old 04-24-2008, 05:24 PM
 
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“Sh%&!”, I exclaimed, one day after dropping something on my foot in Walmart. Kyllian was quick to point out my naughtiness. Over and over and over again.

“Mommy, you shouldn’t say sh%&. Sh%& is a bad word. It isn’t nice to say sh%&. Instead of sh%& you should say Tarter Sauce because sh%& is a bad word. Don’t say sh%& anymore. Sh%& isn’t nice to say.”

“Okay, Kyllian,” I responded while half the store looked at us in amazement. “I won’t say that anymore but you shouldn’t say it either.”

“But, Mommy,” he replied, “I didn’t say sh%&. You said sh%& and that’s bad!”
This reminds me of a game one of my friends invented when we were in college: In a public place, you say to your companion, "Did you just say 'penis'?" (It doesn't matter if he did say "penis", said something that sounds like it, said something completely different, or hadn't spoken for the past hour--this is how you start the game.) Your companion says, slightly louder, "No, I didn't say 'penis'; you're the one who said 'penis'." You say, a little louder than that, "I did not say 'penis'; I distinctly heard YOU say 'penis'!" And so on. First person to be too embarrassed to say it louder is the loser.

I hadn't thought of this game in a long time until we went to a reunion of our college social club last weekend. Another friend had brought her 4-year-old daughter, who during lunch announced in a slightly-too-loud voice, "Mmmm, I just love peanuts!" Her mom whipped around from another conversation to say to the inventor of the above game, "DON'T. START."


My son has done very few really embarrassing things so far...except to request "the story of The Three Ladies and the Boss" in public places; that's the plot of the movie 9 to 5, of which he happened to see a few minutes on TV that so intrigued him that he demanded the whole story. He thinks it is a folktale akin to "The Three Bears". Imagine the looks I get when people on a crowded bus overhear me telling my sweet little child a tale of stealing a dead body from a hospital!

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