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#1 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 03:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was talking to a friend this AM about what "wonderful" things our kids have said/done to embarass us...Her son, in the midst of potty training, decided while mom and dad were looking at the sinks in Home Depot that he had to "go" - Well, Lo and Behold, there were a bunch of perfectly nice pottys right there on the wall in front of him! So......my friend turns around just in time to see him baring all his goodies and using the potty lowest to the ground.

So I began thinking about my most embarrasing moment with one of my 3 kids - and I think it HAS to be when my ds was about 3 years old. We were shopping at Target and we kept bumping into the same nice lady. We ended up on the pool toy aisle and strated talking about how we were both having a pool party and needed some toys. My ds, so sweet, looks at her and says "I don't like brown people." Now, this woman was African American, my ds best friends were Indian and African American. I was MORTIFIED! All I could do was smile sheepishly and walk away....

To this day I have no idea where he even got that idea from....

So...what oh, so cute (I wish I could crawl under a rock) things has your dc done??
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#2 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 04:12 PM
 
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Last year when my DD was 3 we went to Baltimore (we're in CA) to visit my MIL for the first time (so this may have been more embarrassing for me since this was the first time I'd met her, in all the years I've been with her son). She lives in an assisted-living apartment complex for seniors and is very socially active there. Of course she wanted to take DD around for her friends to see her only grandchild. So they went off for a little bit together. DD seemed okay with it, if not jumping for joy. The next day, my MIL wanted to take my daughter around again to meet some other friends, so she asked DD, "Do you want to go see my friends with me?" The reply was, "No Grandma, I don't like your friends." Ha!

Then MIL asks, "Do you like me?" (what kind of question is that to ask a 3 yo???). There was a long pause, during which I was holding my breath, but DD said, "Yes, Grandma, you and me are friends!"
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#3 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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our son took a squat under a table at our favorite restaurant once and loaded up his diaper... we noticed so we tried to pay pretty quickly to get out of there... before we made it out the door, a little turd rolled out of his pants and onto the carpet.
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#4 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 04:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MomiEilis
our son took a squat under a table at our favorite restaurant once and loaded up his diaper... we noticed so we tried to pay pretty quickly to get out of there... before we made it out the door, a little turd rolled out of his pants and onto the carpet.
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#5 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 04:37 PM
 
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When my daughter was 3 she loved to tell anyone who would listen that her daddy is fat and sleeps in his underwear.

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#6 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 06:30 PM
 
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When ds was about 2 1/2 we flew down to meet dh at a conference he was attending. When we got to the hotel, we met up with dh and some of his collegues. Ds was just learning to shake hands so when we introduced him, he reached out and shook one African-American man's hand. Then he proceeded to wipe his hand off on his pants and say, "I got some black on me." As I stood there thinking, "please let lightening hit me now" the man said, "that's my skin buddy, it doesn't come off." He handled it so well. The really crazy thing is, my best friend is Chinese, her boyfriend is black, our next door neighbors are Hispanic....he knew people of all colors! It wasn't as if he had never had any contact with people that weren't white. I just wanted to DIE.
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#7 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 06:41 PM
 
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When we're in public restrooms, ds likes to ask me (at top volume, of course), "DO YOU HAVE TO GO PEE OR POOP, MAMA?" And he asks until he gets an answer.

Oddly enough, he doesn't usually ask me this at home.
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#8 of 230 Old 11-18-2005, 07:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
When we're in public restrooms, ds likes to ask me (at top volume, of course), "DO YOU HAVE TO GO PEE OR POOP, MAMA?" And he asks until he gets an answer.
DH told me a similar story about DS, and I crack up just thinking about it.

About a year and a half ago, DH took DS to Target. Well, DH felt the urge, so he and DS headed to the restroom. DS was in the stall with DH, and as soon as DS figured out what was going on, he loudly announed to the rest of the people in the restroom, "Daddy's pooping!"

Holy cow, it took me 10 minutes just to type that because I kept cracking up!
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#9 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 12:29 AM
 
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DS was slowpoking all morning one day and was going to be late for preschool (this was a few weeks ago)... well, I wasn't going to work until later on that day, and so I figured I would shower and brush my teeth once I got home, because there was no way we'd make it on time if I did beforehand. So we get to his school and as I am carrying him into the class, I go to give him a kiss and he scrunches up his face something fierce and screams, "MOMMY! YOU DON'T SMELL GOOD!!!!!"

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#10 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 12:49 AM
 
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My Ds at around 3 or so busted out into a song of all kinds of swear words once when my Dad, brother and his girlfriend came to visit.

I once had to go into the mens restroom at a dept store because Ds was needing my help. He swore he only had to pee, but ended up doing more and screaming "Mom, I need you to wipe my butt!" I had no man with me and had to go in. I screamed before I went in that I was coming in (I'd been right outside the door) and just as I entered some guy turned around to face with me with his bits out. I saw that guy everywhere for weeks too. lol

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#11 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 01:15 AM
 
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Scenario: DH, DD (nearly 4 at the time), DS (18 months) and I went to South Africa this summer to visit family. We are 19 hours into a 20 flight. HUGE 747 airplane full of people restlessly fidgeting at the end of an extremely long trip. We have started descent and started to hit a few turbulence bumps on the way down. At one point, we hit a pocket and dropped briefly before levelling back out (nothing really new for those who have done a fair amount of air travel).

DH leaned over to DD and asked quietly, "Did you feel that in your stomach when we dropped?" She said, rather loudly, "No! I felt it in my VAGINA!"

Much giggling around us.

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#12 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 11:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh I LOVE thse stories!!! Just what I needed this early in the AM....
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#13 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 12:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
When we're in public restrooms, ds likes to ask me (at top volume, of course), "DO YOU HAVE TO GO PEE OR POOP, MAMA?" And he asks until he gets an answer.

Oddly enough, he doesn't usually ask me this at home.
My daughter asks me this, too! And then says "Good job!" and claps. She does the good job, at home, too.

My most embarrassing moment was at a ChickFila. My son was potty training but had gone poop in a diaper at the restaraunt because we put him in diapers when we went out. We're horribly scatterbrained and had forgotten the diaper bag so just took the diaper off, cleaned him up and put his shorts back on him. We figured he'd tell us when he had to go again. Well, he is playing on the playground there and all these older kids, maybe 6 and 7 are playing there, too. Suddenly they are all making a commotion at the top of the playstructure. They're exclaiming "There's POOP up here!" and they're all gathered around it pointing at it. One kid comes down and says "That little boy pooped on the playground!" Sure enough, Trevor had pooped again and with no diaper, the poop had just plopped out of his shorts onto the playstructure. I was mortified because these other boys wouldnt leave it alone and their parents had to practically drag them off the equiptment. I told the manager and then this old man janitor guy went in to clean it up. I have not been back to that ChickFila and this was almost 2 yrs ago!

And I think my most humourous one was when Trevor and I were shopping at Whole Foods. We are in line waiting to pay and Trevor like breaks into this Hip hop song and dance routine. He's 4. He loves Beastie Boys, but can't keep up with the lyrics, so when he imitates them he mostly just sings rhyming nonsense words in a hiphoppy/rap type fashion. So we're standing in line and Trevor is dancing and singing very loudly and everyone around us is watching him. Even the cashier near us quit working to watch Trevor. I am trying not to squelch his creativity and so am just letting him be. Finnally I bend down and say quietly "Maybe you might like to sing a little more quietly?" so he stops singing, leans exaustedly against the cart and, in this hugely exaggerated gesture he puts his hand up and brushes "sweat" off his forehead and says "Mommy, that wore me out!" Everyone around us laughed. I wasn't really embarrased, but, well, ok, I was a little!

Married, college student, part time work from home mom to DS (12), DD1 (10) and DD2 (9) and a giant dopey newfoundland, a crazy border collie mix, 3 black cats and two rats.
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#14 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 07:55 PM
 
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the poop had just plopped out of his shorts onto the playstructure
: :

I have a few, but nothing so mortifying as that.

My dh has his own locksmith security buisness so we get clients coming to the house all the time. One time a security alarm guy is there discusing things with dh and Sarah comes up and says 'You have a large tummy' pause 'Is there a baby in there?'
Then last week we are coming out of a eatery and we see a large woman we know casualy. So imediatly my dd goes up puts her hand flat on this ladies stomach and says 'Do you have a baby in there'?
she is ever hopful sombody will have a baby in there!

As to the public toilet yep she often says loudly 'Mummy your making peepee's?'
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#15 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 08:11 PM
 
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My toddler had a diarrhea blowout on the white carpet of someone who invited us for a playdate. Twice. That same day my *four year old* pooped in their swimming pool!! There were bits floating around in the pool!! I had to hose her down on the side of the house. She said she was having too much fun and didn't want to get out to use the bathroom.

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#16 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 08:44 PM
 
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This happened when my cousin, who is now 21, was about 3 years old...

We were visiting a pet store that had a display of big cats (tigers, leopard, etc.) in cages outside the store. We were looking at the cats and my cousin was screeching (as only a 3 y.o. girl can) "KITTY KITTY KITTY!" at the top of her lungs. A leopard that was pacing by the front of his cage stopped, looked at her and then SPRAYED HER! She just stood their screaming and getting peed on while the rest of us looked on in shock.

Boy, that was one smelly ride home!

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#17 of 230 Old 11-19-2005, 10:03 PM
 
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These stories are hillarious!

I once heard that you should tell your children the correct names for everything. And since my kids tend to find all sorts of things in our house, they learned a lot of names. Unfortunately, my son, who was about eighteen months at the time, was terrified of a large, white, noisy, cylinder-shaped heater at a friend's house. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Big scary tampon!" To him, that was the shape of the heater. The older kids thought it was hillarious.
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#18 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 12:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USAmma
My toddler had a diarrhea blowout on the white carpet of someone who invited us for a playdate. Twice. That same day my *four year old* pooped in their swimming pool!! There were bits floating around in the pool!! I had to hose her down on the side of the house. She said she was having too much fun and didn't want to get out to use the bathroom.
yikes!

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#19 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 01:03 AM
 
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Balanced Mama: I've known a few adult men who never outgrew their fear of the scary big white tampon!
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#20 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 01:18 AM
 
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My sister and I spend a lot of time together and our children are practically siblings, well her 2.5yr ds was getting his diaper changed and asked if my 2yr dd needed to come watch, his mom politely said "No I don't think Gina needs to watch you get your diaper changed" He quickly replied "Well yesterday she was watching and I think she was looking at my scrotum" LOL!
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#21 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 02:34 AM
 
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These stories are so funny! My son hasn't quite gotten to saying embarassing things (no doubt its coming, he's 28 months now - just a matter of time).

The most embarassing thing I can think of was when my MIL and I went to a friend's house for dinner. We were sitting in the living room and my son (9 months old or so) grunts and toots while sitting on my lap. Or so I think. I tilt him forward and realize that he's had a major diaper leak on the back of his shirt. I think it was at least 3 or 4 day supply of poo, given his schedule at the time.

I stood up with the intent of going to clean up him up.... Only to discover that most of the poo is all over the front of my shirt, the front of my pants from waist to ankle, and still running downhill. I immediately jumped onto the tile and started scooting towards the laundry room (which is open to the rest of the house). I ended up taking all my son's clothes off and stripping myself down to my underwear.... I went home in borrowed purple plaid jammie pants and an old t-shirt. At least I had an extra outfit for my son in the car. My MIL was laughing so hard she could hardly help rinse the poo off.
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#22 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 11:45 AM
 
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#23 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 03:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pickle it
Balanced Mama: I've known a few adult men who never outgrew their fear of the scary big white tampon!
Ha! Isn't that the truth?
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#24 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh! I thought of one other thing....When my sds was about 4 we were out shopping with my mom over the Thanksgiving weekend (the store was PACKED!). My mom had eaten something that gave her *gas* - and she had passed something silently while browsing through the racks. My ds smells it and apparently must have heard it too and shouts at the top of his lungs. "Pee YEW! Grandma you tooted - BAD!!" I can't even tell you the color of my moms face or the way everyone around her tried to stifle their grins while slowly scooting away....

OH! And here is one my younger brother did. WHen he was about 3 we were all in the checkout line of the grocery store. Apparently, he had goten an erection and decided to tell his mom this. "Mommy, my pee-pees all hard." She tells him "shhhhh" which of course leads to him saying it louder and louder, "MOMMY! MY PEE PEE IS ALL HARD AND BIGGER!!"
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#25 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 09:06 PM
 
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Hmmm...
Probably not as good as any of these but I'll list the few I remember as I'm reading what you all have written.
While I was pregnant I loved wearing dh's underwear because it was way more comfortable than mine. Once in circle time a few of the kids were talking at ds's preschool. DS just says in casual conversation that I wear his dad's underwear and then the other little girl is all "Yeah, my mom wears my dad's boxers". So it wasn't too bad, but geez!!!
As far as pooping in weird places, ds at about 2 years of age pooped while we were in a bakery in China Town (in NYC). He just goes over to the corner, squats down and does it. He was still in diapers, but my gawd, there was no where to change a poo diaper and we were about a half hour subway ride away from where we needed to be. When we exited the store, I kind of instinctively went in there with a big wad of napkins and took out the turd and threw it into the trash. I was thankful that it was turd poo lol!!!
DS also likes to talk loudly in public restrooms, so we've been there done that
Anyway, mine are boring, but this is my way of subscribing to the thread lol!
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#26 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 09:08 PM
 
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Oh I forgot one--Beastie Boys from above reminded me of this.
We were at a Christmas party and dh and I were in another room, but ds was talking to my best friend's mom. He announces to her how he likes the Beastie Boys, especially the song when they say "In the f******ing house". Just casually in conversation like they're two adults talking about musical taste. You just worry about what people think of you after things like that!!
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#27 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 09:15 PM
 
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Dd has always seemed to have an affinity for larger women. In fact she says she wants to grow up to be just like one of her aunts, who is on the larger side.

One time we are in the grocery store and she sees a larger woman. In a Loud voice, s he says, admiringly, "Mommy, she has a BIG butt." I turned ten shades of scarlet. How do you explain to a three year old that some people may not understand her admiring tones and may have hurt feelings?
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#28 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 10:24 PM
 
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I am laughing so hard that I am sitting on the couch crying "
I usually do not stop by this thread but I saw the headline and was curious.

When ds was about 4 yr he embarrased my dh and me to no end.
Every ones in a while we take showers together ( dh and myself)...well, we had taken a shower together that fatefull day and thought that ds was still asleep in his bed....wroooong.
The phone rang and we were going to let it ring but after a couple rings it stopped and we heard our sweet 4 yr old telling whoever was on the other end : "No, my daddy is in the shower with mommy again and that can take a while"...click,
After getting out of the shower and rushing to the phone to see who he told that to- we found out that it was my hubbies Commander ( he was in the sercive at the time).....everytime after that his Commander gave me a big grin when he saw me
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#29 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 10:51 PM
 
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These are GREAT!

Ok, I don't have kids yet, but we spend a lot of time with my little nephew. When he was about 18mos, DP and I took him to Chili's for lunch. He didn't have much interest in food, mostly just Cheerios, so we had packed a small box for him. He decided soon after the food arrived that he'd had enough Cheerios and started to throw them on the floor. DP said, "Food is not for playing with. You must be finished eating" and put the cereal away. DN didn't much seem to care, he just picked some food off my plate anyway. Soon after, I took him in the bathroom to change his diaper while DP settled the check, and upon our return to the table, I noticed what a mess we'd made. I set down DN and started to clean up, and when DP returned he asked me, "Where's the baby?" For some reason I thought DP had him. Nope! So we start looking around for DN, and I'm on the verge of tears, thoroughly ashamed at my own irresponsibility, when I hear a tiny sound coming from under the table.

Yup, DN was down there. Eating the Cheerios he'd thrown on the floor.
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#30 of 230 Old 11-20-2005, 11:05 PM
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We were in the pharmacy behind a larger lady and DD about ooh 15 months at the time started going MOOOO MOOOOO MOOOO real loudly I was mortified..I know she probably wasn't talking about the lady but I was still embarrased.

Now it's the "This is my bum and it goes PFFFFFFPPPPPTTTT"
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