When should they wipe their own bums? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 10:37 AM - Thread Starter
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This may seem really gross, but I'm gettin' tired of doing that for them! When are they old enough to do it themselves? They just turned four.
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#2 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 10:45 AM
 
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My boys were a little late on this too. I think they were six or seven until they could do a clean enough wipe up. At 4, I would have them do the best they could and then "finish up" for them. If I didn't they would get sore bottoms.

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#3 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 10:48 AM - Thread Starter
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They aren't willing to even try! maybe I'm expecting too much out of them. They've only been potty trained for 9 months or so and still have an ocassional accident.
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#4 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 07:17 PM
 
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My ds potty trained at 3 years and a few months. He is now 5 1/2 yo and I think I need to go back to wiping for him, because he doesn't do it himself. He will, IF I remind him though. Otherwise, he has "itchy butt".

Warmly~

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#5 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 08:36 PM
 
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My son is six, and in half-day kindergarten. He STILL doesn't wipe his own butt!! I DO encourage him, but he just WON"T. I wonder what would happen if he needed to poo in school??? He doesn't seem too concerned about this, even though I've mentioned it. I, too, am a bit sick of wiping no less than 3 bottoms a day, but I'm not forcing the issue. In general, I find that if I push a bit too much, it never fails to work against me!

Had a funny related incident once when Max was on the toilet at a friend's house. My friend and I were downstairs yakkin' when Max called for me, and I didn't hear. So he had my friend's kid, who actually was YOUNGER, do the job for him!!!

Thanks for bringing this up. I suggest just letting them take their own, sweet time. 'Til then, it's a smelly job, but somebody's gotta do it! Ahhh, motherhood....
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#6 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 08:57 PM
 
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My four year old boy has no interest in trying. Neither does my 4 yr old niece.

They'll just sit on the toliet and call until you come.
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#7 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 11:07 PM
 
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Yep, I'm waiting for that glorious day, too, when i no longer have to help in the bathroom. It's not just the poop, it's the pee too, because dd's tush gets wet too (I think it's because she keeps her knees together, I don't know!) and she can't reach very well, so if I don't help her undies get damp. I'm so envious of my friends with boys who just give it a shake and pull up their pants!
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#8 of 23 Old 01-11-2002, 11:46 PM
 
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Thank you Treelove for asking this question!!!!!!

My ds will be 4 in a few weeks and I'm sick of doing it!!!! He shows no interest at all!!

At least I'm glad he's not the only one!!!!!
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#9 of 23 Old 01-12-2002, 01:00 AM
 
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Boy am I going to be the odd man out here. My son potty trained this summer (pee in June and poop in August -- He turned three last May.) He insisted on wiping from the very beginning. I insisted on doing a "wipe check" on him the first couple of weeks but he did a great job. He has only overflowed the toilet with toilet paper once (he used 3/4 of a roll) and it scared him so much that he is now the toilet paper police (Mommy, that's too much!!!)

In the beginning we bought those flushable moist wipes that are sort of like baby wipes but you can flush them. You can usually find them in either the baby section, or the toilet paper section depending on if you want a cartoon charactor on the container. It was much easier for him to get himself clean with those until he got the hang of it.

I didn't know how great I had it until now. I haven't had to help my son in the bathroom for months.
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#10 of 23 Old 01-12-2002, 02:36 AM
 
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Yikes! We are in the process of potty training our 2 year old and I never even considered this issue... right now he basically just pees in the tiolet and we haven't gotten to the poop yet.

We have this potty training video called "Potty Time" and part of the poop section is about wiping your butt "carefully" and my son sings that song while he pretends to wipe and likes to talk about wiping his butt, so maybe that is a good sign!

(Am I actually on-line with other parents talking about wiping butts?? Gee - isn't the internet wonderful?!)
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#11 of 23 Old 01-14-2002, 01:12 AM
 
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Well, I worked at a day care and I hate to say it, but I knew lots of 6yr olds who needed help getting their butts clean. They wouldn't ask for help, but I noticed LOTS of chocolate stained undies. My 5yr old tries but she can't quite reach. Usually I don't help her. I just make sure she gets a bath every other day. Is that gross? At least I know she changes her underwear everyday!
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#12 of 23 Old 01-14-2002, 07:28 PM
 
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Oh, peacemama, don't be too envious of the "shake and go"-- I just never know where my 3 1/2 yr. old's "shake" is going to end up!

What a great thread! I was just thinking about this the other day. My son potty-trained really early (for a boy) at just under 2 1/2. We were so thrilled that he wanted to do this that we've never pushed the wiping issue--we just always go running when he calls. He's never tried to do it on his own. But maybe we'll give the flushable "wet" wipes a try. I've never seen them, jbcjmom--would you mind mentioning the brand name(s), if you remember? Thanks!
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#13 of 23 Old 01-14-2002, 09:41 PM
 
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The flushable wipes are great for poops - my dd never seems to get clean enough with dry toilet paper, even with me wiping. There are two kinds I've seen - Kid Fresh and Just Me. My supermarket has them with the regular baby wipes and diapers, but if you can't find them there, try the toilet paper aisle.
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#14 of 23 Old 01-15-2002, 06:00 AM
 
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I was one of the older siblings in a large family (and I also did alot of babysitting) so I quickly learned a trick: water. Instead of grossing out, I would throw the child in the bathtub each time the child soiled her or his pants.

Fast forward to 30 years later, my dd's soiled diaper never grossed me out and she was potty trained very early, but I still splashed water on her instead of wiping. I thought it was warmer and a kinder way to clean her as opposed to wiping her bottom over and over until clean. She grew to love water and to love baths. And still at the age of almost 4, she has to bathe right after she uses the potty.
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#15 of 23 Old 01-23-2002, 04:59 AM
 
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My 6 yr old and 4 yr old dd's still want me to do it for them. I don't really mind as I'd rather have it done well, but my dh thinks the older one should be doing it by now. I figure when she wants to she is ready and we don't worry about it. I guess it's a job I don't mind doing that much.
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#16 of 23 Old 01-23-2002, 08:58 AM
 
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A good first step might be to get them to wash their own bums in the shower / bath with soap. This step seems to be more acceptable to children.

Take it from there.

Hope this helps

a

The anti-Ezzo king
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#17 of 23 Old 01-25-2002, 06:14 AM
 
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I am with Ruth and Mom at home - I use water and I do not mind doing it at all. I have two peribottles from births and I keep one in each bathroom. My girls are both potty trained - the little one is an early bird, 21 months and about 1 accident (pee) a day, poop has been under control for months. I use the peribottle to wash dd who is almost 4 while she is sitting on the toilet and with the young one, I just pick her up from the potty and take her to the sink, facing me.

I must say I have never used wipes in the diaper days too, just water. Seems nicer to me, quicker, and, cheaper too!!
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#18 of 23 Old 01-30-2002, 06:29 PM
 
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#19 of 23 Old 02-20-2002, 06:16 PM
 
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So glad someone brought this up! I was wondering when to expect dd to be able to do it herself, but she just can't reach. I don't mind (yet) but the bellow from the bathroom 'COME AND WIPE MY BUM I'VE DONE PEE & POO!' usually raises a few eyebrows with visitors! - I just say, 'Wait till you have kids!'
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#20 of 23 Old 02-20-2002, 06:29 PM
 
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I'm sure all kids are different, and I understand from talks with friends that boys are a little later than girls on this generally. My youngest was the latest of my three to wipe himself. When he turned four I insisted that he wipe himself and I would check and "touch up" as needed. After the first day or two of hesitancy he was thrilled to do it himself. I only needed to "check his work" for a few weeks before he did a fairly thorough job on his own.
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#21 of 23 Old 03-01-2002, 04:03 PM
 
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Ok, I guess I took a different approach on this one. My oldest is 4. She potty trained a little after her second birthday. I had been wiping her bum for over a year. She did a wonderful just of wiping things up front, so I decided it was time for her to take care of her bum herself. The other reason I had her do it is because she would scream at the top of her lungs for me to come and wipe her butt, and it never failed that it would be right after I laid the baby down for a nap I showed her how to do it, and I just told her she would have to do it herself. It took her a couple of times of sitting on the potty for an hour waiting for me to come and do it. She finally realized that I wasn't going to. She does just fine now. She has never overflowed the toilet, and she knows to wipe until "the toe-paper is white!"

Its wonderful to have a completely independant butt-wiper
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#22 of 23 Old 03-12-2002, 08:22 AM
 
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It's a relief to know our almost four year old boy isn't really lagging behind, having no interest in wiping.

In a related issue, he also has no interest in standing up to wee in the toilet, but regularly goes on the grass so he can stand up. Anybody know how to encourage a boy to stand? Mainly because it sometimes takes him "too long" to get our half broken baby-loo seat on and he gets wet undies.
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#23 of 23 Old 03-12-2002, 08:20 PM
 
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encouraging boys to pee standing (esp if they might be going to school and risking grief from older boys if they sit...) is something I designated "secret men's business" and dh made sure to have father and son pee-sessions, at home and out and about
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