I guess I just want to know what you think. I have so little experience with kids, and don't know if my 4-year-old daughter is acting normally. She's become very sensitive. Recently, she tried two new things: roller skating and bike riding. She had a lot of trouble with both (and she tends to need a lot of practice at motor skills-related things--she didn't crawl until 9 months, or walk until 15 months---she was born almost 3 months premature). Both times, I tried to encourage her and teach her what to do, but she just freaked out, screaming and crying, and bawling, "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" Over and over. That made me cry so hard I had to turn from her for a minute so she wouldn't see and feel worse. Now she says she will never do those things again. She also has started running away to another part of the house or locking herself in her room after she's done something she thinks she will get in trouble for---always very minor things that she would never get in trouble for, like using too much soap or eating without washing her hands. My husband and I redirect, but that's it--we don't believe in time outs, raised voices, any violence at all. Just calm redirection.
I guess I did something wrong. As a person I am very Type A and bossy but I try to be gentle with her. I admit I get frustrated with her because she is soooooo timid of everythng, so shy, so behind her peers in so many things. I try not to express that but I am sure she senses it. I went a little crazy when she was potty-training and did yell at her a few times, and compare her to her friends (YES I KNOW THAT'S HORRIBLE---just want to be 100% honest) out of sheer frustration (we started trying when she turned 2.5 and it took her almost a year to get it, even with us doing everything the experts say to do, and she's still not night trained). But when I realized how angry I was getting, I apologized to her, made a huge effort to control my temper, and have not blown up at her since, for over a year now. On the flip side, I am constantly building her up, praising her, cheering her successes. We are very close---I am an AP mommy and we have a very tight bond. But I guess I'm just not good at this, which kills me because I've tried so hard to do everything right
. I had such a horrible, bad mother . . . and now I feel like I am one, too. But I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. Except for the few times I yelled at her when she was training (maybe 3 or 4 times over a 1-week period), I've never even been harsh with her. Could all my years of consistent good loving parenting have been abolished by that? Or is this normal 4-year-old behavior?