can you explain "can't afford more kids?" - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-07-2006, 11:08 PM
 
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Actually Redwine-
The more I read your post, the more *I* am offended! How insensitive of you to imply about my dreams. I have only dreamt of becoming a mom. I have heard the words,"you are never going to conceive". You are here on Mothering.com, so obviously *that* was your dream too. How about taking a harder punch to me???

mp :
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Old 02-07-2006, 11:34 PM
 
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Well, for me I have to spend 10-15K per attempt to conceive. That's a whole lot to try to afford. I'll probably get the bills from this pregnancy paid off shortly before dd arrives, assuming she can wait until her due date. The only reason we decided to have another child so shortly after having ds (he'll be 2 next week), is because dh plans on quitting his job next year and going back to school, so bye-bye health insurance. We don't plan on having anymore kids until he's out of school and we're stable, which will probably be 6 years from now. It takes a whole lot of money for me to get pg, and I have difficult pregnancies which land me in the hospital for preterm labor (more $$$), and unfortunately I also have complicated births (even more $$$). With health insurance, it's doable, but without it, I'd seriously be worried about losing my house due to medical bills.

We don't take vacations. We spend money on food, because I think buying natural, organic foods as much as possible is important. We live comfortably, but not lavishly. The expense of another child once s/he got here wouldn't be an issue, but the expense of getting him/her here could break the bank.

Emotionally, I don't think I could afford another child until my ds and dd are old enough to be at least partly self-sufficient. I've had to farm out a lot of ds's care to family members, because of my difficult pregnancy. That really makes me feel bad as a mom.

I think that people have to make their own decisions about what they can and can't afford. To some people, their yearly family vacation may be what keeps them sane and makes them better parents. Some people don't want to stress about having a car that will hold enough carseats. Some people would probably go crazy with a small house full of kids. We're all different, and we all have different threshholds of what we can take financially, emotionally, and spacially.
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Old 02-08-2006, 02:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We're all different, and we all have different threshholds of what we can take financially, emotionally, and spacially.[/QUOTE]


Well said!! This thread got more sticky than I intended. It wasn't meant to hurt feelings or stir up any debates, hugs to all of you, I didn't want that to happen. Duh, guess I'm naive to think that $$$ discussions won't stir up debates. :
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Old 02-08-2006, 12:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamapoppins
Actually Redwine-
The more I read your post, the more *I* am offended! How insensitive of you to imply about my dreams. I have only dreamt of becoming a mom. I have heard the words,"you are never going to conceive". You are here on Mothering.com, so obviously *that* was your dream too. How about taking a harder punch to me???

mp :
can we break it up and can you go back to your corner? I am so sorry about what cards were dealt to you. I know what it is like to have to wait to conceive-not the same as you but a bit. Redwines post was not meant to be that way about your dreams. She is as thrilled for you as anyone else on this board who also went thru days, weeks, years of dreaming about motherhood. I am very thrilled that you can be part of this community becuase of your babies but remember, you picked this with your insentive post as well. You said being catholic, I will try to keep my mouth shut- wow if you really opened it that would have been fun!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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No, it would not have been fun. And yes, I did choose to post. I will humbly go back to my corner.

anyone??????

mp
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Old 02-09-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamapoppins
anyone??????

mp
absolutley! peace!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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