Your preschoolers favoite jokes! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 28 Old 02-11-2003, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 3 yo loves jokes- too bad he just keeps repeating these 4 over and over again. Any one have some more good ones?

What bird flies over the Chesapeake (or just bay)?
A bagel.

What has 6 wheels and flies?
A trashtruck

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop
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#2 of 28 Old 02-11-2003, 09:31 PM
 
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"Knock knock."

Who's there?

"Impatient cow."

Impatient cow wh- "MOOOO!"

***

"Knock knock"

Who's there?

"Dwaine"

Dwaine who?

"Dwaine the bathtub, I'm dwowning!"

***

The "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" knock-knock joke has been banned in this household .

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#3 of 28 Old 02-11-2003, 09:57 PM
 
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My 3 year old's first joke:

"Hey, Mom, guess what?"

"What?"

"NOTHING!"
Hahahahaha!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!! [Falls down laughing...]

I'm sure his sense of "funny" will improve!
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#4 of 28 Old 02-11-2003, 10:04 PM
 
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At age 4 my dd told the entire church congregation this one:

Did you hear about the skunk who went to church?

He had a whole pew to himself!
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#5 of 28 Old 02-14-2003, 01:24 PM
 
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My ds (4) made this one up all by himself.. At least i THINK he did.. It is his 1st and favorite joke...

KNockknock...

Who's there..


Cargo...

Cargo who??


NO CAR GOES BEEP BEEP!!!

laughs hysterically...

repeat every 10 seconds....



It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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#6 of 28 Old 02-14-2003, 10:00 PM
 
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My 3 1/2 year old has a really weird sense of humor, one day while I was getting him out of the car at the day care - he pointed at the guy triming the grass and said:
"There's my Daddy"
Then cracked up laughing........... I laughed as well, and now its an everyday thing, anyone cutting grass/trees/shrubs - is daddy!!

Chelly
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#7 of 28 Old 02-15-2003, 06:47 PM
 
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My 4 y/o came into the room recently holding a baby doll with a crayon up to her mouth. I asked her if she was giving her a bottle and she said,

"No mom, it's crayon-berry juice!".

Booooooo!
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#8 of 28 Old 02-15-2003, 07:11 PM
 
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Hayden also loooooves the skeleton crossing the road joke ~ he will substitute *brains* for *guts* sometimes :LOL

Both kids (6&4) make up their own knock-knock jokes ~ most make no sense but crack them up nonetheless! We've also had to ban the *banana/orange* joke. MY favorite response to their jokes:

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Jamaica

Jamaica who?

JAMAICA ME CRAAAAAAAZY!

~diana

~diana google me: hahamommy. Unschooling Supermama to Hayden :Super Cool Girlfriend to Scotty . Former wife to Mitch & former mama to Hannahbear
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#9 of 28 Old 02-17-2003, 05:57 AM
 
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4 year old son: Why did the bear cross the road? Cause it was the chickens day off!

2 year old son: Knock, knock...Who's there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no pant(h)s, I'm coming in!

34 year old mom: Why is a giraffes head so far away from his body? Because his neck's so long! :

Thanks for all the good jokes, we need some new material...

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#10 of 28 Old 02-17-2003, 09:39 AM
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Maeve just could never get the hang of jokes. She has her father's sense of humour, that is to say, NONE.

Her favourite was, "Mommy, the pig fell in the mud." and then to laugh herself sick.

She's still humour challenged.
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#11 of 28 Old 02-17-2003, 10:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for some more! Please keep posting, I am sure in a few weeks I will really want some new ones.
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#12 of 28 Old 02-17-2003, 02:01 PM
 
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There was a thread in TAO awhile back about some jokes that had won funniest joke awards in some kind of international contest. They were a scream. The one best suited to preschoolers goes: "What's brown and sticky?" "A stick!"

Dd, six, loves that one!

I heard a kid on "Kids Say the Darnedest Things" tell a joke that was pretty cute. He was from someplace down south and a cute little accent to go with it. "What do you get when you play a country song backwards?" "You get your truck back, your house back, your wife back. . ."

SMC to Sophia, age 15, and Eleanor, age 9, and mother hen to too many nursing students to count!

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#13 of 28 Old 02-17-2003, 04:14 PM
 
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Q. What is invisibale and smells like a banana?
A. Moneky burp

Q. mommy, mommy, can a lick the bowl?
A. No, tommy, you have to flash it like eveyone elce!
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#14 of 28 Old 02-17-2003, 10:06 PM
 
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How do you make a kleenex dance?


You put a little boogie in it!
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#15 of 28 Old 02-18-2003, 05:34 AM
 
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okay...I'm usually the last one to get a joke and I've been working on this one all day. I still don't get it!
Quote:
Q. mommy, mommy, can a lick the bowl?
Can somebody explain it to me? I so hate it when I have to ask but if I don't it'll drive me crazy!

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#16 of 28 Old 02-18-2003, 12:31 PM
 
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The *toilet* bowl....
No licking, you've gotta flush like everyone else...

~diana

~diana google me: hahamommy. Unschooling Supermama to Hayden :Super Cool Girlfriend to Scotty . Former wife to Mitch & former mama to Hannahbear
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#17 of 28 Old 02-18-2003, 02:49 PM
 
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Thank you hahamommy! That's gross!! (but funny) I feel better now...

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#18 of 28 Old 02-18-2003, 03:11 PM
 
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I am sorry for my error! English is just...so english
My older son told this joke to my 3 y.o and it his favorite
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#19 of 28 Old 02-21-2003, 05:09 PM
 
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What did the burp say to the mouth?

Open up or I am coming out the other end!!!

Made up by a family friend when she was 4, now she is 18 yrs old and it is still a family favorite. When you space your children so far apart the *jokes* never get old!!!
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#20 of 28 Old 02-22-2003, 09:43 PM
 
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My four year old dd likes these:

What's a duck's favorite snack?
Quackers!

What does a cow listen to on the radio?
Moo-sic!

Not too inspired, but hey, she's only four...
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#21 of 28 Old 02-22-2003, 10:17 PM
 
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The worst part is . . . . .

I'm going to have to SHARE some of them!
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#22 of 28 Old 02-24-2003, 04:22 PM
 
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Why did the cookie have to go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!! My ds tells it to everyone.

Also, why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9 (read seven ATE nine)!!

Keep laughing about what's brown and sticky . . . just struck me as funny.
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#23 of 28 Old 02-25-2003, 03:54 PM
 
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What do sharks eat with their peanut butter?

Ans: Jellyfish



How do you know there's an elephant in the cupboard?

Ans: You can see his footprints in the peanut butter.
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#24 of 28 Old 03-07-2003, 02:46 AM
 
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what do you call a flying skunk? a smellicopter.
what do you get when you cross a skunk with a boomerang? a smell you can't get rid off.

those are our favorites because we actually find them amusing. there are rafts more that are completely lame or even incomprehensible to us :

i love the stick one. my best friend tells that one all the time (and she's 36)
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#25 of 28 Old 03-07-2003, 02:51 AM
 
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What is a police officer's favourite dessert?

A copcake!


Which reindeer is Santa's best cleaner?

Comet!


Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
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#26 of 28 Old 03-10-2003, 06:46 PM
 
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Oh thank you thank you for the new material!!!

Here are some of the ones I am SO tired of!

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken.

Why did the elephant paint his toe nails red? So he hide in a cherry tree. .............Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?? No? It works!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo Hoo?

Its only a joke, you don't have to cry about it.

What is black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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#27 of 28 Old 03-11-2003, 01:19 AM
 
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Today my 6 year old came home and i told her the jokes I got from you guys and she laughed herself silly!!!!

Thank you!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other SLIDE!!!
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#28 of 28 Old 03-11-2003, 01:21 AM
 
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Kristimom, those jokes are so funny! I'm using all of them and my boys think I'm brilliantly funny. Thanks

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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