Indiegirl, I haven't read all of the posts, so maybe someone has suggested this to you already, but one strategy that you might offer Violet to help her communicate -- whether she has a speech delay or not, or a hearing issue or not -- is sign language.
My child is the same age as yours, actually, and is hearing, but we taught her some ASL right from the time she was 9 months old and it helped tremendously with being able to express herself.
In one of your posts, you referred to how frustrated poor Violet gets when she can't express what is bothering her -- and I got a feeling that to an extent, you feel "shut out" sometimes from her thoughts, like when you said you wondered if Violet thought things in a certain way, but just couldn't say them.
If there *is* a speech or hearing delay, the sign language will certainly not hurt -- and she might be very grateful that she now has a tool other than oral language to speak to you.
I hope I've not been clumsy in expressing my concern or my suggestion. I wish the best for you and your lovely girl.