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#1 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You know when the kids are being just a little too quiet and you go looking for them and find out what it is that's been keeping them so occupied? What's the biggest mess you've found? At the time it can be pretty horrible but are so hilarious now... I'll start.

My worst mess, and most difficult to clean up, was an entire container of Penaten diaper cream smeared all over two kids, a bed and a desk. They had gone to a lot of work and told me that they were painting the desk white! The stuff is so thick it was almost impossible to get off. It sure works on bums though!

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#2 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 03:08 PM
 
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Gum all over the bathroom floor.
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#3 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 03:12 PM
 
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I was at my sister's and we didn't hear my niece for a minute or two, she was probably about 15 mos. old. When we went into the kitchen to find her she had climbed up on a step stool next to the soap stone sink, had grabbed the side of the sink, and was just hanging off of it, with her little legs dangling!

I said why is that stool there??! and my sister replied that normally when she climbed up it she would say "up, up" so they knew what she was doing. Yikes. She has also taken to climbing the stairs without saying "up, up". I guess she figured out that when she says that someone comes along and stops all the fun.
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#4 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 03:19 PM
 
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OH I have too many good ones.

But I think my favorite was on the VERY FIRST playdate with new friends, at their house. Both of our boys (about 3yo) dissappeared into the 'kid' bathroom and drew on the walls, counters, toilet, tub, closet....with toothpaste. We're good friends now but for a minute, I thought we'd seriously blown it!

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#5 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 03:49 PM
 
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All from the same child...in this past week....

Flooded bathroom....
Whole roll of TP in the toilet....
interesting drawings all over his 2yo sister....

And the highlight....

My blowdryer....in the toilet.....that had pee in it.

He is a very curious creative one. :
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#6 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 03:53 PM
 
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A whole tube of Vaseline smeared on the floor, my toddler's clothes and her hair.

A styrofoam insert from a box that was shredded into a million tiny white balls. I found those things for months.

A whole roll of TP in the toilet.

Mud in the backyard, but that wasn't so bad.

A shredded phone book.

I asked my then 3yo to shred the salad (since she was into shredding) and I left her to do it for a few minutes. Came back and the salad was in tiny tiny pieces and thrown all over the floor, and she was eating some of it. Salad sticks to the floor and it's hard to sweep up so we had to pick it up all by hand.

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#7 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 03:57 PM
 
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OH you reminded me!

So here I am.

Pregnant.

Hyperemesis in fact.

And Tony has gone to the bathroom. He's taking a while, but oh whatever, right?

Mooooooooooooooooom?? MOOOOOOOOOOM??

He had clogged the toilet and it was disgorging poop, TP, etc ALL OVER. This toilet had a running problem and it did not STOP. He called when he judged himself to be over the limit of his own coverup abilities. Which happened to be 1" deep across the entire very, very large combo bathroom/laundry room and flowing into the carpet in the hallway. Poop, soggy TP, water, water, everywhere. And me with nowhere to barf but the tub. Which I got to...by walking THROUGH the poop, soggy TP, and water.

Thank GOODNESS for bac-out, is all I'm saying. Even pregnant and touchy me couldn't smell it two hours later (when I'd finally gotten it mopped up). Just getting the initial toilet water off the floor took two full loads of laundry. Wow this experience is one I really don't want to ever, ever repeat.

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#8 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:01 PM
 
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One of the most memorable messes was when my son was just about four. He was at a stage where I thought he'd grown past this type of thing, but even now at nearly five it is not the case. I found him in my bathroom where he had opened up a bunch of disposable pads, peeled the strip off and stuck them to the wall, floor, and cabinet. Then he decorated them all with my makeup and lotions. Wasn't difficult to clean up, but certainly was the most artistic of his messes. I even took a picture of it
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#9 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:02 PM
 
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He had clogged the toilet and it was disgorging poop, TP, etc ALL OVER. This toilet had a running problem and it did not STOP. He called when he judged himself to be over the limit of his own coverup abilities. Which happened to be 1" deep across the entire very, very large combo bathroom/laundry room and flowing into the carpet in the hallway. Poop, soggy TP, water, water, everywhere. And me with nowhere to barf but the tub. Which I got to...by walking THROUGH the poop, soggy TP, and water.

Oh my goodness!! THAT was the WORST thing I ever found too...but it was done by dh....and he HAD to run out the door to work...I had just given birth a few days prior to my first child....I called the plumber....did I mention it was like 90 degrees that day...and we did not have AC>?? Right before the plumber rang the bell...ds woke up...cried, and the faucet that my boobs are turned on...SOAKED my shirt and I was dripping...doorbell rings....2 big dogs go crazy....gross bathroom...soaked in breastmilk....screaming baby....I threw on a new shirt...let the plumber in...and he told me that my bathroom was the grossest thing he ever saw. I STILL remind dh of that day.
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#10 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:22 PM
 
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dd #1 at age 3 got up during the night took wood glue emptied it all over my tiled living room and then took the bunnies cedar chips and decorated the same wet wood glued floor with them. Then she went to bed. We found it in the morning after it was completely dried. Spent 3 days chipping wood shavings off the floor.
Same dd poured a whole gallon of liquid Tide all over the floor. I walked in and WAAAHHH! Slipped across the floor.
dd #3 had a thing for powdered sugar when she was 3. It was hidden but she would find it like some cocain fiend. She spread a whole bag of it from the kitchen through the livingroom into her bedroom. I know sugar is bad no flaming please.
dd #6 has been the most "creative" I have had the bathroom flooded 3-4 times from whole rolls of toilet paper in used toilets. Flooded from toilet paper stuffed down the drain of the sink and the water turned on. Toothpaste smeared all over the bathroom mirror sink floor and toilet seat. She has tried to be helpfull and poured a full bottle of Eucalan on one soaker.Tried eating a paint pen and it exploded all over her the floor and table (this just happened). She has taken a whole 20lb bag of whole wheat flour and poured it out and down my burners of my stove across my kitchen floor into every crevice in my kitchen and into the laundry room. Same with the pepper and sugar at different times. Just the other day she poured a gallon of vinegar out in the playroom. We have gates everywhere and she can climb them and is quicker than a jaguar in getting what she wants. Her knewest facination is pouring things from one container to another container and of course that has it's own inherited mess with it.
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#11 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alana
he told me that my bathroom was the grossest thing he ever saw.
I hope he was at least nice about it! OMG.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#12 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikirj
OH I have too many good ones.

But I think my favorite was on the VERY FIRST playdate with new friends, at their house. Both of our boys (about 3yo) dissappeared into the 'kid' bathroom and drew on the walls, counters, toilet, tub, closet....with toothpaste. We're good friends now but for a minute, I thought we'd seriously blown it!


You just think I have forgiven you. I am waiting for the time to be right to STRIKE BACK!











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#13 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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I was taking a quick 2 min. shower, whilst my almost 3 year old was in the bathroom with me. I periodically poked my head out threw the shower curtain to see what he was up to. After a nanosecond went by, I yelled out, “Honey, what are you doing” he replies, "nothing mummy, just putting lotion on my legs” Nothing unusual there. He often puts lotion on his legs and arms supervised so he does not use the whole bottle. So I remind him, “not too much okay?” He’s like “alright mommy, I know, just a little”. So I get out of the shower like 10 seconds later and he is COVERED from head to toe in Hair Styling Putty. You know the kind for extreme spiky hair. It was my BIL’s who lent it to my DH. DH accidently left it on my bathroom counter and ds “thought” it was lotion. Well let me tell you, I had to scrub that damn stuff off his body and contemplated just shaving off his hair, it was that goopy/sticky.

The worst though was probably for my mom. When I was 3 years old (and I remember this too) we were visiting a friend of my mom’s and her daughter who was the same age as me. My mom and her friend were having coffee and this little girl and I decided to wash our hair with toilet water. I guess our moms thought we were being awfully quiet, came to check on us, and were horrified to see that we were playing “beauty salon” in the toilet. They promptly scooped us up and put us both in the shower and hosed us down.
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#14 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikirj
I hope he was at least nice about it! OMG.
It was the grossest thing that I ever saw too!!!!!! Postpartum hormones didnt help the situation either.
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#15 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Poop in DD's underwear drawer. Yup. When we were working on the potty stuff, she pooped in her underwear, and changed herself. But she put her poopy underwear back in her underwear drawer. I found them probably two days later (I don't have a very good sense of smell) when I reached in her drawer for clean underwear and grabbed those instead. I asked her what happened, and she said "I pooped, so I got clean panties." She didn't have an answer as to why she put them in the dresser as opposed to the dirty clothes. She said she didn't tell me because "I'm a big girl, I do it myself."

So yeah, pulling poopy underwear out of the drawer has been the worst so far. I'm not sure she can top that one.
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#16 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 05:27 PM
 
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My 13 mo daughter was in the bathroom while I took a shower. I knew she was poking around in the garbage, but as I didn't have my glasses on, I couldn't tell exactly what she was doing. I finished my shower and got out, and found what had kept DD so occupied - she had gotten one of my used tampon applicators out of the garbage and had licked it clean!
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#17 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 05:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alana
Oh my goodness!! THAT was the WORST thing I ever found too...but it was done by dh....and he HAD to run out the door to work...I had just given birth a few days prior to my first child....I called the plumber....did I mention it was like 90 degrees that day...and we did not have AC>?? Right before the plumber rang the bell...ds woke up...cried, and the faucet that my boobs are turned on...SOAKED my shirt and I was dripping...doorbell rings....2 big dogs go crazy....gross bathroom...soaked in breastmilk....screaming baby....I threw on a new shirt...let the plumber in...and he told me that my bathroom was the grossest thing he ever saw. I STILL remind dh of that day.
My boyfriend is a plumber. One day he was at work at a woman's house who had just given birth so she had a lot of pads in the waste basket.....and a small dog.......who likes bodily fluids........and had strewn the bloody pads all over the bathroom and upstairs hall where my boyfriend was working.

The poor woman was mortified, but bf has pretty much seen everything (and had poop fly out of a septic pipe and land on his head) so it didn't really bother him.
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#18 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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DH and Punky who was maybe 10 mos? were outside doing yard work together. DH started yelling for me. He was holding Punky's arms out, and her fists were full of dog poop. Wish I'd thought to snap a picture of that!
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#19 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 06:26 PM
 
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One time (recently), ds climbed up to the top kitchen cupboards by putting a little chair on top of a big chair. I think his original goal was sugar, but the result was that he dumped various spices and sugar all over his wooden train tracks and was driving his trains through. At the same time, he also used an olive oil sprayer to spray oil on his chalkboard, tracks, and under the table. All this was while I was out and dh was in charge but in the bathroom (for a long time).

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#20 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 07:51 PM
 
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I was chatting with my brother in my mom's kitchen, so distracted for a couple minutes, I hear DD banging around up in my mom's office and go up to find she has gotten into my mom's nail polish, she has painted her fingers, her toes, the palms of her hands, her knees and a big splotch on my mother's hardwood floor.

Now, I didn't feel terribly guilty about it because it wasn't *me* who decided it would be cute to paint the two year olds nails. :P She's gotten into the nail polish several times since, but has just gotten better at only painting her nails and the last time was when my mom was watching her anyway. I don't have nailpolish in my house, so I don't have this problem!

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#21 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 08:52 PM
 
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: laughup



And here I thought toilet water and shampoo all over the floor was bad!
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#22 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 08:57 PM
 
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a flooded bathroom floor from sticking washclothes in the toilet

the toilet overflowing from using a whole roll of tp (pretty common I can see)

shampoo used to "clean the windows"

crayoned drawings on our furniture

the dvd played stuffed so full of discs that it broke the whole thing

the cat dressed up (and running awy-well not quiet but mentionable)

dd using a whole bottle of shampoo to "wash her sister's hair" (dd#2 is pretty much bald)

stickers on our marble floors

the hallway "painted purple"

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#23 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 09:11 PM
 
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Another time, ds squirted ketchup on the floor, sprinkled it with spinach, and was driving constructions vehicles through it.

The hardest thing to clean was when he knocked an entire container of laundry detergent down the steps. I think he thought it wasn't fragile, but the lid broke and it spilled everywhere. It wasn't entirely his fault as dh was chasing him. I slipped down the steps and bruised my back when I went down to clean it up. The sad thing was I kind of enjoyed cleaning it because it was a break from dealing with ds at the time. Dh had to deal with ds because I was "busy". I took my time cleaning .

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#24 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 09:24 PM
 
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Purple-tinted sunscreen sprayed on the walls of the hallway, the washer and dryer, and every bedroom & bathroom door (thank goodness they were all closed!).

I once left 2-1/2 yr old DS in the bath for a minute, and when I came back he had consumed almost half a large bottle of creamy body wash. After immediately puking up a bubbly mess, the kid belched bubbles for a week.

Every baptized Christian is, or should be, someone with an actual (disturbing) experience, ... a close encounter, with God; someone who, as a result, becomes a disturbing presence to others. - Fr. Anthony J. Gittins, A Presence That Disturbs
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#25 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 09:43 PM
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Our first dd was up in her room playing. We always kept all the doors locked except her own so she could come and go. I went up to check on her (she was about 17months) and she was fast a sleep on her bed...with her pj's unzipped, a clean diaper under her bum but not put together, and diaper cream smeared from her head to her toes. She decided she needed a diaper change and got so exhausted doing it, she fell alseep. It was the cutest thing ever.
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#26 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 09:58 PM
 
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Well, last night I put DS (3 yrs) to bed for the night and then hopped into the shower. I came out to find DP with the most horrified look on his face. It turns out DS painted his walls, his clothes, and his blankets with poop. He also ate some.

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#27 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 10:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OMG these are hilarious!

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#28 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 10:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mahogny
My 13 mo daughter was in the bathroom while I took a shower. I knew she was poking around in the garbage, but as I didn't have my glasses on, I couldn't tell exactly what she was doing. I finished my shower and got out, and found what had kept DD so occupied - she had gotten one of my used tampon applicators out of the garbage and had licked it clean!
Oh yuck!

Ds dropped a full tub of bright blue fingerpaint on the kitchen floor (hard tile so the tub disintegrated and the paint flew everywhere). That took a while to clean up. I kept finding it for weeks in little corners and crevices.

Also recently ds took off his nightly pullup (swollen with pee) and stuffed it in the laundry hamper. It got tangled up in a fitted sheet and washed with the load of laundry. I had smelled nasty old pee but I thought it was from the sheet. I had to take each item out of the washer, shake it off, and handpick all those gell-balls off. Then rewash the load.
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#29 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 11:02 PM
 
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We had a bad one today. Julian (3.5) filled the litter box to the brim and then some with water. So there was wet cat litter on the carpet and wall, a heavy, full tub of litter + water, and two of our drinking glasses sitting in cat poop. Gross! Thankfully, we just changed the litter yesterday so it was a lot less bad than it could have been.
All of our messes seem to revolve around water, and today was the final straw- we temporarily banned him from the bathrooms and got out his old baby potty.
One time, through no fault of his own (our hook-on high chair's limit is actually 36 lbs., not 37 as the manufacturer claims), Julian knocked the table over, which had two full bowls of cheerios, one with milk in it, and an open container of soymilk sitting on it. I was picking up cheerios forever!
A couple of weeks ago Julian walked up to me and said "Hey mommy, look at this!" He had a dead mouse in his hand, with kitty claw punctures in its little belly! What makes this even worse, is that we buried it (he sobbed "Mommy don't throw him away!") and 3 days later Julian dug it up in the yard!!!
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#30 of 68 Old 05-25-2006, 11:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilian
Well, last night I put DS (3 yrs) to bed for the night and then hopped into the shower. I came out to find DP with the most horrified look on his face. It turns out DS painted his walls, his clothes, and his blankets with poop. He also ate some.
: I vote this one as the worst. :Puke

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