3 yr old Tribe for June! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 03:02 AM
 
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i don't know much, but ran into the idea of the cultural creatives the other day.....it's an identification of a social movement.
harder to read article from 1996 by one of the writers, but what i ran into first
http://www.noetic.org/publications/r...7/r37_Ray.html
the website - go to the faq
http://www.culturalcreatives.org/
interview from 2001
http://www.yesmagazine.org/article.asp?ID=399

lately i've been working to treat my kids with better respect towards their ages. i tend to expect more.

i'll go see if i can get through to joining.....
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#62 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 03:21 AM
 
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interesting, casina... its good to have a name for what I feel I do every day!

(and everyone, please join the yahoo group!)
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#63 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 03:26 AM
 
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here it is again, in case you missed it on the last page...

Zee YaHoo Group...

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#64 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 03:33 AM
 
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In about 30 minutes I will have a 3 year old again. Mind if I join?

Today my baby did the sweetest thing. We were at the park and he'd taken off his shoes w/o me noticing. Right about the time that I saw his shoes next to me I also saw him freeze and cry because his feet were burning on the black rubbery stuff that they use on playgrounds. I ran over and grabbed him and told him that we needed to keep his shoes on so that his feet didn't get hot again. As I got his shoes on Áine, my 15mo old, started crawling towards the playground. Immediately Kaiden said "Áine, no, don't get hot! Don't get hot Áine! Mommy, go get her!!" I could have cried it was so sweet. I couldn't believe he saw the "danger" and was trying to protect his sister from getting hurt.
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#65 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 05:15 AM
 
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hey wendy - how is it in portland with your gaggle of kids? how much reporting do you have to do for homeschooling?

i found what's interesting abt the cultural creatives is the optimism and social tracking of the states going towards a way i can stand. of course i have to believe it to the core, but it is interesting to see it expressed in such a fashion - that we do have so much power and how we can take it!

i am wanting a baby again. how original is that!
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#66 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 09:16 AM
 
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ok i just signed up for the yahoo group. hopefully i'll do better w/ posting better there. :P

ryanna- i got that book you suggested. I only read the book about weaning/nursing kids over 3, but i loved it. I really felt better about myself and me still nursing a 3.5 yo after that.
anyway, long story short, i've decided to hold off till weaning. my new idea is to have her weaned by the time she's four. we'll see. :P

its been hot here too. lots of long trips to the library- thank goddess she loves that place. we've been going to the pool regularly too. she really wants to go off the diving board, and giggles when i explain to her that she has to be able to swim to the side first. LOL

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#67 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 10:51 AM
 
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I signed up at the yahoo group. My boy is Matthew, who was 3 Dec. 15. He is quite a character, and right now is being very stubborn about learning to use the potty. He is big into cars and trains and anything to do with cars...traffic lights, stop signs, etc. Cracks me up with some of his antics. Looking forward to getting to know some of you!

It is hot and humid here too...I live in Houston, so this will continue till October/November! We did the children's museum yesterday, and plan on story time at the library today. Some days we do the kiddie pool in the backyard or water table and toys. Too hot to do much else outside this time of year here.

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#68 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My little guy is exactly 3 1/2 years old TODAY. Happy Half Birthday, my sweet!
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#69 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 12:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tea olive
hey wendy - how is it in portland with your gaggle of kids? how much reporting do you have to do for homeschooling?
Portland is a great place to have a lot of kids. There is a lot to do for cheap or free and there are lots of other families with 3 or more children.

If I were a compliant person I'd have to register my children as hs'ers and then test them in 3rd, 5th, and 10th grades. Otherwise I don't have to do any reporting at all. However, since I don't think that I should have to pay for a person to administer a test that I also have to pay for when psers get it for free, I don't. I also don't have any desire to teach to a test like most people (homeschoolers and public schoolers alike) admit to doing. So for now we are non-compliant. I've heard that the worst that can happen is they come knocking on my door and tell me that I have to register. If I don't then register I get a $100 fine.
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#70 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 12:34 PM
 
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oops, double post
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#71 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 12:50 PM
 
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Welcome to the group Wendy!

Jill your kids are cute. I love the red hair.

I just realized that this is my 1,000th post. WOW!

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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#72 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 01:24 PM
 
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Hi everyone! Happy late solctice to everyone. Razi has been really wanting to have a parade so I've got a few neighbor kids coming over and were going to decorate his wagon and whatever other 'driver' things and go around the block. I've been trying to stay away from the computer so I've been gone for a while. I'll sign up at yahoo soon.

And yes, I am having a girl.
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#73 of 108 Old 06-22-2006, 02:37 PM
 
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Welcome back Sarita! I have missed you. I hope you don't hate me for spilling the beans about your little bean... I held it in as long as I could...

Happy summer solstice to you all. I had two friends have birthdays yesterday.

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#74 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 12:08 AM
 
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hey sarita! how are you feeling?

thanks wendy for the scoop. oregon seems like a good place to move to as well as other places, and i am spoiled by not having to comply with any homeschooling regulation so i wonder what is really out there.

mona, my two littles are still nursing, almost never during the day now. weaning can seem to be a messy thing. i know with my first i had the idea that it should just be a thing that happened in increments. or just plain ol happenned. for me, the less i think about nursing, the less they think about it too. and then i have to be totally solid with my "no". my rule is that they have to go lay in the bed with me if they want to nurse and they usually are not happy with that idea because they hate the idea of sleep. but then there's the times i "make" ruby take a nap. the thing abt nursing is that it is a tool for many things, and to let go of it you have to learn many new skills to compensate. and to control weaning, you have to feel totally and absolutely aggravated with nursing and have decided to be done, to feel okay with the actions you have to take to continue it. even then, i have changed my mind at times, and what's important is that you feel right about it. it shouldn't matter how old they are really, as long as you feel okay with it. you will see as they get older how nursing is less needed and wanted.

we have to remember that we are the parents. it can be hard to separate what issues are actually about the act of nursing, because it has different faces in the relationship. many times it is about our limitations, and learning to communicate them. i Do have to be very adamant and unwavering that i can hold and rub a foot instead of nursing. i have had to find different placebos of comfort for upset for each kid and it fluctuates - for ruby it is holding, and a bandaid, clay can stand a bit of ice. reed a hot or cold wet towel. they all want ice cold water when upset.

it may sound very odd, but giving absolute attention and physical love without nursing is something i have had to work very hard to learn. nursing is actually a lazier and easier way about it in the moment.

and then they get sick, and then all sorts of different good habits go helter skelter, and it takes months to get it to where i wanted it. i am still working on the whining ruby acquired from her months of cough. she is so good at her pleading and shrieking that i had to instruct my dh to look for actual tears. i guess i could say she is gifted vocally.

lately i have to look her in the eye and tell her no whining, and quote what she should ask nicely. i'm not sure it is the most effective, but at least it feels like i am doing something about it. it's less of a problem with me than for everyone else. i guess that's how women can harpy men into doing their bidding.


mona, you are welcome to pm me or email me in the other group if you want to talk about the little details.

punk, i've been thinking about you. good travel vibes your way onto a new chapter........
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#75 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 03:00 AM
 
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In February it was a year since Zachary had been "weaned", and he is still *obsessed* with the bobbies. He loves touching them, kissing them, holding them, and latching on every now and then. Even though I kiss him and we snuggle, he still seems to get great comfort from them for some reason. I don't mind it now because he isn't constantly asking me every two seconds and yanking the last stretchiness from my boobs.

But in my experience they can be very attached to the boobs even long after they've stopped actively nursing. :

Zachary was testing me to the brink of insanity today at the grocey store. I remained pretty calm though, so I'm proud of myself. I just kept reciting the mantra by Vimala McClure in Tao of Motherhood: "You are the external principle of balance and stability. When your children's energy is scattered, be grounded. When your children throw tantrums, be still. Be firm and consistent to teach your children about boundaries. Know what you stand for. Thus you will root them in health and release their souls to limitless." I know I have posted that here before, but it just rings so true for me and it helps me so much, on a daily basis!

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#76 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 03:05 AM
 
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thank you so much for sharing that mantra!
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#77 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 08:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tea olive
it may sound very odd, but giving absolute attention and physical love without nursing is something i have had to work very hard to learn. nursing is actually a lazier and easier way about it in the moment.
tea olive, this is me too! If he is hurt or just upset, it is so easy to just let him nurse and have it be all better. It is harder to think up other creative ways to be there for him and help him feel better. I am still going for CLW with both kids though...I am guessing he may slow down more as he gets older. He definitely stepped it up when his sister arrived, and only in the last 2-3 months has he really slowed back down to his normal 2-3 times a day (morning, bedtime, and sometimes another time). Nobody said being a mama was easy!

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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#78 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 08:57 AM
 
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Anyone here struggling with their 3 year old and going potty? I think my son is using it as a control issue. He knows how to pull his pants down, do his business, wipe, flush, wash hands, and with a bit of help pull the pants up, but he just WON'T go! He can hold his pee for several hours, if I put him in underwear, he just goes in it anyway and does not care that he is wet/dirty. He has pooped on the potty a total of 3 times in his life. We are on a roll for once a month...he did it once in April, once in May, and once in June. : I have put him back in pullups, am trying to make him mostly responsible for cleaning up any accidents, and using going to the Children's Museum (his favorite place in the world) if he poops in the potty. Just wondering if anyone out there can sympathize?

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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#79 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 09:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds is going through something again right now and is not wanting to use the toilet. He'll use the little potty only when he can absolutely not hold it any longer. Yep, he'll pee or pee in his underpants too.
He just turned 3 1/2 yesterday.
Although I WANT to push the issue, I won't. I certainly don't want it to backfire on me. I really want him trained by the end of August though (for preschool).
Drives me nuts.

By the way, has everyone joined our yahoo group yet??
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#80 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 10:31 AM
 
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Is he afraid of the toilet? My niece refused to use the toilet, but was willing to use the potty because it was silent. Last year in kindergarten, she refused to use the toilet in the class bathroom because it was too loud. She'd hold it all day before she went in there, the noise terrified her. She won't use a public toiletr unless she really can't wait, and then she runs out of the bathroom when you flush.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#81 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 01:03 PM
 
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I'm doing good casina, thanks for asking Some days are better than others as far as nausea goes but I'm feeling wonderful and big for the most part. I've actually been sewing a ton and that's part of the reason I've been missing.

So we had our little parade yesterday, the day late solstice parade. It was fun. I'll put some pics up, maybe on yahoo. but I haven't joined yet but will next week. We're going to the lake this weekend.

Leah, I loved the mantra, I want to write it down!

Oy boobs!! Razi is obsessed and it's been about 2 mo or less since I finally couldn't take it anymore and told him he had to wait to nurse until the baby came. I was so gung ho about nursing thru the whole pregnancy and the pain just never let up. I never thought I'd come to that but I just wanted to run screaming every time he nursed. So hopefully if he nurses when she comes and then weans himself someday, I'll still get points for CLW, cuz, yk, it's all about points,

The only potty problem we have is night time stuff. A year ago he was totally not peeing at night and we just have an occational accident. Now it's every night and sometime the dipe doesn't hold it all. Which is really annoying to strip the whole bed and wash it daily *I know I've ranted about this before!*

Casina, Razi is rather whiny himself. I always just tell him I'd love to hear him talk w/ his normal voice and that seems to help (a little)

have a good weekend ladies! And helllooo to all the new moms here
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#82 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 01:43 PM
 
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I think we've got pretty much everyone on the yahoo group. Jillmama wanted to join, but I thought we should get to know her a bit first, on the good ol' thread.
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#83 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 09:47 PM
 
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HI momma's

I have been MIA for a while. I just joined the Yahoo group though. Today was DH last day of school!

I am so ready for some vacationing. We are going to SF to visit my folks for 10 days, may take a side trip to the Monterey Aquarium while we are there, then it's home for a week and off to a 4 day folk festival. That's pretty much takes care of all of July. In August we have plans to camp with a bunch of freinds on one of the Boston Harbor Islands. (liz pm me if you want to join us!) HMM I guess I should work at some point this summer since I am not the teacher in the family.

Lots of stuff going on with GA. She was dealing with independance issues about 6 weeks ago. She wanted us to put her bed back up - we hade taken it down since in 6 months she too 2 naps in it. She has also suggested to DH that she wants him to go downstairs and not lay with her until she falls asleep - but then changes her mind. There were a couple of other things not around sleep that also indicate stuff is going on in her head. Also during this time she was HELL ON WHEELS. Lot's of tantrums and power struggles. I always tried to remember she was clearly going through something. Anyway it seems to have passed now. I guess she decided she wasn't ready to grow up that much

She has also really been weaning herself. I have to say I was skeptical that she would ever stop on her own but it is happening. These days she only asks to nurse maybe 4 nights out of 7 and even then it's for 10 seconds. The morning will be the last to go but even that she has been skipping once or twice a week.

She is going to preschool in the fall. It will be really hard to leave her daycare for all of us, including her provider. She goes to a family daycare and they are really like family. I think GA will love school but we will all miss Isabel.

I went away by myself over Memorial Day weekend. I had a wedding in SF and DH didn't want to schlepp us all out there for a weekend. I had a blast and GA did great. There was no 'fallout' of any kind when I came home. It was like I never left. DH pointed out that this is attachment parenting paying off. She trusted I was coming back.

Tons of new pictures from visiting our friends farm in vermont and the bunker hill day parades

Also here is a hysterical video. GA got a hand me down dance recital costume from her cousin complete with tap shoes. I hope this works http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.ph...B3F0FA295EA349
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.ph...858E7E2554B007

Miss you mommas! Punk think you'll make it this far north?

Amy and Georgia
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#84 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 10:33 PM
 
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We are going to the Y for swimming lessons, and tumbling class that starts next week. Last week we drove over to see the step kids in Santa Monica and had fun fun fun at the beach. It was Maggie's first time seeing the ocean and even the jaded California teenagers had a great time seeing it all through Maggie's eyes. We went to the aquarium at Long Beach one day, which was OK, and the pier to ride the ferris wheel, but really all she wanted to do was lay in the sand, get up and run into the waves, turn around and run screaming away from the waves, and lay in the sand some more.

Jenny: 40 Something AP mom to 2 adult kids, 2 teen step kids, and one amazing 7YO. Doula and Brio Birth educator, too!
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#85 of 108 Old 06-23-2006, 11:54 PM
 
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My brother lives in Monteray. I seriously want to get out there, but I'd have to be totally bonkers to try to take such a trip with three kids and no help. :

Sarita, I think you still get the points if Razi's okay with waiting. I count BeanBean as self-weaned because we discussed it and made the decision together. He did try to nurse a few times after Bella's birth, but he wasn't really interested.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#86 of 108 Old 06-24-2006, 10:14 AM
 
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amy, the pictures and the video are wonderful. i love the still breastfeeding shirt!
it is "interesting" to watch these stages of independence and insecurity at times as they are figuring out how they fit into the worldly matrix rather then just the motherly matrix. kathrynn is no where near sleeping on her own, and going to sleep w/o nursing makes her pretty anxious so i've dropped that one. but she shows her independence in other ways. :P

kathrynn has peed in her pants a few times lately at the library. UGH! luckily i always have a spare pair in my bag, but it boggles me. i ask her a lot if she has to go when we're there, bc she gets a little lost in time and space :LOL but she'll say, "no pee-pee is coming out" and then 5 min later there is this gush and she's standing there with her hand on her yoni. i was worried she was regressing, as she found a stack of old diapers i'm trying to sell and trying them on. goddess, i hope that is just a dress up thing. :P
i seriously think if i tried that trick of "you're too old to nurse, it is for babies" or soemthing like that, she'd revert to being a baby just so she could nurse!

anyway, happy saturday to everyone.

lisa
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#87 of 108 Old 06-24-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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Amy, Julianna does that- all of a sudden she'll be crying and she'll run to and say "Mama, I have to go peeeee!" and two seconds later she's peeing uncontrollabley and sobbing. Luckily she only does it when she's been swimming and she's waited too long to go. I usually just hose off the puddle she made and that's that. Lots of times she will say she doesn't have to go but if I make her go miraculously she'll produce some pee. So, I usually don't take her word for it, I just tell her to go potty. She is still peeing 3 nights out of 5. She loves her Pull-ups and gets really excited when we get a new pack at the store. I think it's the last thing she's holding onto from babyhood. Plus, I think she truly can't feel herself peeing in her sleep.

Zachary tells me he's a baby all the time when he wants to nurse... He is actually excited for me to have another baby someday so he can get some milk out of these things.

My nephew just turned one and the other day he got out of the pool, peed, and got back in. How cute is that??? My sis checked in to an inpatient drug treatment center yesterday, and she took her DS with her. Court ordered minimum of 90 days. Hopefully she will be filing for divorce from her immature, raging, abusive, @ss hole husband while she's in there. She says she's leaving him, but she's said that before and always goes back for some stupid reason. Anyway, I really REALLY hope she can crack her addiction from that nasty drug and get some counseling and get her life together once and for all. I really want to trust that she will, but the truth is I KNOW her too well... She will manipulate the counselors and lie and say what they want to hear, and in the end she'll get out of there without the skills she needs to live a drug free life. She'll set herself up for failure like she always does because she doesn't love herself yet. So, she has a lot to work on, and I am praying she can do it for her son! As always, we will be here for her. It's all up to her now...

LOVED the video of Georgia! What a cutie!!!

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#88 of 108 Old 06-24-2006, 07:08 PM
 
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sarita, clay was practically weaned at some point in ruby's pg. i asked for a little help from him when she came because i was engorged. he could have not started up again, now in hindsight. then for the next ten months or so it was almost like he nursed exclusively. it also made the sling life with her less mobile than i anticipated.

a long period (it seems like a year) after reed weaned (and my friend's daughter did this too, as she has the same birthday?!) he would try to run his hands up and down chests, women and men, an pinch nipples. i think my dh got the worst of it, cos he wouldn't be paying attention, so it would have started, and then ouch!

i get the feeling from all these stories that our 3.5s are going through an emotional growth spurt.

their still young for peeing to be a big deal. i do get mad at ruby cos she will lie to me about going and she gets mad at me because i just pick her up and put her on the toilet. like the nursing, it is not necessarily a one time light switch on kind of thing. i get really irritated but i know deep down that it just means they need my help.

i've given up and put the huggies overnight on her. she hates them and sometimes sceams at me to take them off in the middle of the night. (we're working on that too, she perfectly knows how to take them off). it varies whether she has already really peed for that time so sometimes i just have to carry her to the toilet. then i have to put another one on her when she is asleep again, or i put two thick towels and hope for the best since she has already done her middle of the night pee. anytime i have tried for no diaper the results are worse AND i have the cleaning to do. she wants to be at that level, and it is even more alarming and disappointing to her when she is all wet - you know, very pleasantly warm and then very cold and slightly sticky. of course the spot is always right where i usually sleep.

my main problem with the peeing is that these kids get up in the morning and then won't go back to bed.

the other day i chanted to myself, a no can easily turn to a yes. a yes is very difficult to turn into a no. my nos can be hard on us. but my yeses can be even harder in the long run.
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#89 of 108 Old 06-24-2006, 07:53 PM
 
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BeanBean still occasionally wakes up crying in the middle of the night; either Mike or I will pick him up and carry him to the bathroom. There are rare accidents, but they don't happen often enough for us to consider putting him in a pullup at night.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#90 of 108 Old 06-24-2006, 08:34 PM
 
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Happy Birthday, BooBah! New pictures of Bella and BooBah in my sig.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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