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#1 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ok. so i have this friend who has a son the same age as my ds(4). we were on a playdate and my ds had to go to the bathroom. I said to my ds "don't forget to wipe your penis(he's not the best shaker)". Well my friend was totally horrified that i would say "that word" to my ds. She has to her son to call his privates "little jimmy"(her son's name is jimmy). She dosent want me saying penis in front of her ds because she thinks that a bad word for children??

Do alot of parents feel the same way as her? I just want my kids to know the correct names of there body parts.
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#2 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BeBe123
Do alot of parents feel the same way as her?
Unfortunately yes. But your approach is much healthier. My child knows most of the proper names for anatomy.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#3 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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As a kindergarden teacher I was always amused by how many parents were *afraid* for their kids to know the real words to their OWN body parts...! Kudos to you for teaching your son the actual name. I never understood why it's wrong to call a penis a penis?? That's what it is!!
I think (like so many other things) it can be traced back to America's horror of being up front about sex and anything vaguely related to sex.
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#4 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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I, on the other hand, feel that it is foolish to call our parts anything but what they are and that it minimizes their protected status when we make things cutesy.

I think that a lot of people are uncomfortable SAYING penis and vagina, and that this is the true reason they do this to their children.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#5 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:16 PM
 
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There are many adults who become embarassed by a child knowing the correct names. My children do though. My daughter knows the general terms for her anatomy, but also the specifics because if she points to a specific part (such as labia or vagina) I will tell her the individual name for that part as well. I would prefer that she knows that she has a clitoris rather than thinking she has a small penis. When she has talked about these parts in the past, it has embarassed people, but they can just get over it.

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#6 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:24 PM
 
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Yes, tell them the correct names, it is part of our human anatomy, and it is very important for the kids to know the proper names. Do not confuse the children, they need to learn these things. I am in agreement with you on this one BeBe.
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#7 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:49 PM
 
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My sister about had a cow when I taught her daughter the word vagina (I babysat her full-time for two years). We have always used the correct terminology with our crew. My sister-in-law gets very embarrassed as well when she hears a child say penis or vagina.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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#8 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:54 PM
 
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I use penis and vulva. I feel sorry for the kids that call their parts by silly names.

Using vagina makes me crazy. Since its tucked up inside, no one sees it but my lover or my midwife. I would never teach my daughter to use the word vagina for casual toilet talk. She knows she has one and what its for, but that's not the part you wipe when you pee.
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#9 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 12:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikirj
I, on the other hand, feel that it is foolish to call our parts anything but what they are and that it minimizes their protected status when we make things cutesy.

I think that a lot of people are uncomfortable SAYING penis and vagina, and that this is the true reason they do this to their children.
I totally agree.

My 3 1/2 year old is fascinated by the differences between her body and her Papa's (she sees him naked when he comes out of the bathtub). She spent a good part of last month telling anyone and everyone, "My name is Alex and I don't have a penis."

We've also had the 'these parts are private, no one can touch them but you" talk. So now she likes to get on elevators and announce, "Nobody touch my breast-es!!" For some reason, she only does this on elevators.

Anyway, the point is, I agree with you. I get a kick out of people's reactions when she innocently says all of this. Some folks are horrified (which I find amusing ), others chuckle.
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#10 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:01 PM
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I was raised with penis and vagina. And patella, metacarpal and phalanges and clavicle and all the rest of the medical and technical terms for that matter. My mom is an RN and my dad also in the medical field in the AF. I really didn't know that people taught their kiddos anything else for quite a long time.

Last year a little boy was kicked in the groin in my front yard and DS and his friend ran to get me and the friend told me he was kicked in the ______. I looked at him and said "what?" because it really didn't dawn on me what he ment until DS was like "so and so got kicked in testicles!" DUH! So I had to go out and I corrected like 10 boys in out front yard as to what their anatomy was called. Later I realized I may have overstepped a line, but no one's parents called or came over to complain.
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#11 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:02 PM
 
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"little jimmy"

I would be embarassed refering to a penis as little jimmy.

Every parent I know doesn't like to use the correct terms. Heck, even my childs doctor doesn't like it. He says to my son "can I check your tools?" I told my son "he wants to make sure your penis is healthy, okay?" the doc turned bright red and said "i always say tools instead"

my kids are 10, 7, and 4. i'm due any day now
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#12 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:02 PM
 
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We have neighbors with a little boy about a year older than my DD and they sometimes play together or I'll watch him for my neighbor - - - whom I like but think is odd and with whom I have little to nothing in common. Anyhoo - it seems EVERY time he is over, without fail the word penis or vagina comes up, and he screams and yells, EWWWWWWW THAT'S DIRTY YOU SAID PENIS, I"M GONNA TELL MOMMY.

I always take the opportunity to say matter-o'-factly, "it's not dirty; it's a part of your body."

The other day my DD had to change her clothes and was naked for a few minutes in front of him and he yelled, "EWW, that's gross!" pointing at her vulva.

My sweet, expressive, naked and indignant little DD put her hands on her hips and said, "That hurts my feelings! It's not gross! It's a part of my body, and it's a very important part of my body since a baby comes out of it!"

I often wonder about the dialogues in his home. I find it very strange and beyond that, damaging, to pass on this kind of attitude about one's genitals. I'm sure he reports to his parents that we are perverts who love to talk about penises, etc.

Mama to 2 mopheaded rascals
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#13 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:12 PM
 
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we use correct terms too - but after reading philomom's post, I may take it one step further and explain to dd some more detail. I admit, we use vagina for our dd's just 'cause its a much easier and quicker explanation. But she'll be 4 soon, so maybe now is the time....

Anyhoo, my ex was a freak about proper words. And I mean in a bad way. After picking up my 3yrold after a weekend visit, I got an earful about the "bad language" he had to put up with. When I asked what bad language, he said, "he told me he had nipples! What 3yr old needs to know words like that?!" whatever. idiot.
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#14 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RedWine
I totally agree.

So now she likes to get on elevators and announce, "Nobody touch my breast-es!!" For some reason, she only does this on elevators.

.
And by the way, this is freaking hilarious! Love those 3 year old zingers.

Mama to 2 mopheaded rascals
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#15 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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RedWine
Your DD is soooo cute!
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#16 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:35 PM
 
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We've always used the 'correct' terms. I have 2 friends that always kind of made fun of me and would never use the word penis (they both have boys) one used the word 'stuff' and I don't remember the other. Anyway, the one that used the word stuff went to a child abuse prevention talk and was told a story about why to use the correct words: a little girl in kindergarden or 1st grade kept telling her teacher that a little boy classmate kept touching her purse and wouldn't stop. The teacher would just keep telling th little girl well use your words and he will listen. After a few days of this, the teacher finally realized that 'purse' was the little girls' family's name for her vagina. Ever since then, my friend uses correct terms.

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#17 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeBe123
ok. so i have this friend who has a son the same age as my ds(4). we were on a playdate and my ds had to go to the bathroom. I said to my ds "don't forget to wipe your penis(he's not the best shaker)". Well my friend was totally horrified that i would say "that word" to my ds. She has to her son to call his privates "little jimmy"(her son's name is jimmy). She dosent want me saying penis in front of her ds because she thinks that a bad word for children??

Do alot of parents feel the same way as her? I just want my kids to know the correct names of there body parts.
Pardon me, but I think your friend is being ridiculous. It's called a penis and a vagina. I don't think they're the most euphonious names in the world, but I certainly think it's better than calling them by some absurd euphemism. Not only does that communicate the fact that she views these parts as shameful, but according to stuff I've read on child abuse, molesters look for kids who don't call their private parts by their correct names because those kids tend, on the whole, to come from families where talking about sex (including sexual abuse) is forbidden. In short, it makes them into targets.
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#18 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:45 PM
 
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We use the correct terms at my house as well. My son calls it his penis and sometimes his pee-pee. He said to me the other day "when I get bigger like daddy, My pee pee will be big like daddy's. right now it's just a big boy pee-pee." We have also had the no one can touch it but you talk. So now at bathtime when it is time to clean it, he yells "that's my penis and you can't touch it. Only I can touch it!"

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#19 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie
"little jimmy"

I would be embarassed refering to a penis as little jimmy.

Every parent I know doesn't like to use the correct terms. Heck, even my childs doctor doesn't like it. He says to my son "can I check your tools?" I told my son "he wants to make sure your penis is healthy, okay?" the doc turned bright red and said "i always say tools instead"
For one thing, can't she at least do him the macho favor and call it a "BIG jimmy"?
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#20 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:47 PM
 
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yes, I've encountered this as well. The discomfort is particularly evident when my daughters say the word penis.
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#21 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PennyRoo

The other day my DD had to change her clothes and was naked for a few minutes in front of him and he yelled, "EWW, that's gross!" pointing at her vulva.

My sweet, expressive, naked and indignant little DD put her hands on her hips and said, "That hurts my feelings! It's not gross! It's a part of my body, and it's a very important part of my body since a baby comes out of it!"
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#22 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:55 PM
 
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We use the correct terms, though I'll probably start using vulva from now on - since vagina isn't truly correct - except of course when DD says 'I have a hole down there!', but I wasn't sure what the best term was to use, when she is kinda referring to the whole area.

In terms of facing criticism over it, like the OP whose friend was horrified when she uses the terms, I find use this explaination to squash them - something like "I want to teach her the proper names for safety reasons, if she is ever sexually molested, a judge and court are much more likely to understand and believe what happened if she is using the correct terms rather than 'woo woo' or 'ha ha' which could mean anything to the child"

There are lots of other reasons to do it, but I find this usually shuts mainstream parents (and family) up.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
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#23 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:58 PM
 
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We use the word penis of course but I personally HATE the word vagina. I always have and the origins of the word offends me. Not because I think talking about that part of the body is dirty, but because I don't like the word. So in our house we use Penis and Yoni. It works for us. I can see the argument about molestation but I just can't bring myself to use that word.

Laura

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#24 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:58 PM
 
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I agree with the majority. I teach my kids the proper words and don't really agree with those who do not.

Mama to:Ben (12), Natalie (9), Zoe (5)
 
 
 
     

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#25 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 01:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shenjall
When I asked what bad language, he said, "he told me he had nipples! What 3yr old needs to know words like that?!" whatever. idiot.
When my DS was 3 he knew that milk came out of my nipples.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#26 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Baudelaire
For one thing, can't she at least do him the macho favor and call it a "BIG jimmy"?
Good one.

I think it is fine to use a slang term if it is more comfortable if the child also knows the real names too. But, "little Jimmy" is just creepy - like his penis is a version of himself. Yikes.
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#27 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Roar

I think it is fine to use a slang term if it is more comfortable if the child also knows the real names too. But, "little Jimmy" is just creepy - like his penis is a version of himself. Yikes.
Ya know that was my first thought too.
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#28 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 03:38 PM
 
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We mostly use proper anatomical terms in our house and I follow his lead, by giving the information as he requests it. My 3 yo ds knows he has a penis--he does sometimes call it a weiner (I don't particularly like that one, but he picked it up from his cousin) or a peiner (how do you spell that one?!?!) but he also knows those are nicknames for it and those labels aren't used even close to as often as 'penis'. He just recently pointed to his scrotum and told me it was his penis so I explained that it was actually his scrotum. After seeing his cousin's penis (jewish, circ'ed) he told me at home that cousin's penis was "weird" so we had a discussion about the foreskin and glans (I mentioned it was the head--he thought that was funny! "My penis has a head!"). Now, I have no problem going into whatever actual detail is required to help him learn about his body, but at this point I am MUCH less detailed with him regarding the female anatomy. He has asked me if girls have penises, if I have a penis, etc. The first time he asked about it we talked about how this is one way that girl and boy bodies are different and that girls have a few parts. At that time I listed them all by proper names and then I said so boys have penises and girls have girl parts. So now I just say girls have girl parts. When he is older I will DEFINITELY be more forthcoming about the intricacies of the female genitalia, but I really feel like he knows what he needs to know for now and what I've told him is true.
He talks about his nipples often, too--likes to point out the fact that he has nipples, his dolls have nipples, etc. He calls breasts "nursies". I think that is interesting because I always thought he was only referring to my milk or the act of nursing whenever he said anything about nursies, but now it's clear that is his name for boobs. Yesterday he told me that boys have nipples but girls have nipples AND nursies. We were in the car later and he was telling me a story (with lots of enthusiasm!) about how when I am the little baby and he is the mom he'll grow really BIG nursies with BIG nipples so he can be a good mom and nurse me and take care of me.
Sorry, got a little OT there, but yeah I feel very strongly that kids should be taught the true names of their own body parts. I think they should feel a sense of ownership and awareness about their entire body. I wouldn't wish for anybody to grow up thinking that a part of them is a big joke, a big secret or 'dirty' or wrong. How is that going to lead to healthy sexuality? I am trying to raise a child who feels good about himself, who can be happy, whole and fulfilled. How is being taught to feel like part of him is shameful going to be beneficial to him? (or society for that matter)???
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#29 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 04:32 PM
 
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My DSD's biomom called to basically scream at me because I explained pumping breastmilk to the girls. I'm not going to hide from them when I have to express milk for their baby sister who can't nurse! They also know how their sister got out of my body, what stretch marks are, and how my body makes (sometimes) milk for baby sister.

My DH just shook his head at her convenient prudishness. She can curse and scream in front of the girls, and tell them to shut up, and spank them, and lock them in their room, and continue to make out with all of her ex-boyfriends, but heaven forbid we explain very natural life patterns to them!

Sorry, little pissy about it.

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#30 of 120 Old 06-19-2006, 04:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Baudelaire
For one thing, can't she at least do him the macho favor and call it a "BIG jimmy"?
lol!!! I'm dyin'

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