I don't know if it's because the arrival of DD is soon and it's put DS in a weird place or if it's my hormones going haywire, or if it's my total exhaustion and inability to play like I used to because of my huge stomach, swollen feet and BH contrax. Whatever it is, DS and I are clashing like mad. He's throwing temper tantrums and I don't have it in me to respond the way I normally do (GD).
We went to a restaurant for lunch today to celebrate my getting an A in a class I took this summer and DS had several meltdowns until we finally just had to get our food to go and go home. We have never had to do that before, if we ask him to stop doing something he usually stops. He actually started drawing on the chair with a crayon, which is totally out of character for him, and then threw a fit when we asked him to stop and showed him where he could draw.
The fits continued until we were beginning to disrupt the lunches of those around us. We went outside so he could let his feelings out about being sad that we had to go home and I told him that I just didn't think he felt up to being out at a restaurant today and we'd have to try again another time. He screamed the whole way home - which is what he needed to do and he has a right to express his feelings but it was a nightmare getting home and staying calm.
He's also so sad that things are going so rough for us which breaks my heart. I just feel like bawling. We're supposed to go out with my mom tonight (he adores his gammy) and I am really concerned that we're going to have more trouble and that I'm just setting us up for problems by going out tonight. But - he's keeps promising that he'll try to listen better and he really wants to spend time with Gammy, so I hate to punish him for having a rough day, KWIM?
What makes this all worse is that I'm in my final weeks of pregnancy (I'm due July 7th) and I just am not the same mommy that I normally am physically or emotionally so I feel that this is all my fault.
I really just want to sit in my room and cry.