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#61 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 02:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Unreal
Eoin however seems to live for destroying boundaries. I was always one for quoting "You have to know how to pick your battles"
but Eoin makes Everything into a battle.
Oh, that is my son Zachary *exactly*.

I am 10 weeks today, ladies. I m/c last time at 10 weeks, so I've been on edge a little lately. I am no longer nauseas- I had it a full week less than with Zachary. My tummy has certainly popped out in the past week or so. I am not imagining it- it is definitely bigger- but I don't want to get all excited about anything if it's another blighted ovum and my body just "thinks" it's pregnant, YK? I have more fat on my midsection this time around, but it's amazing that I'm already getting big. (Didn't start "showing" with Zachary until almost 20 weeks.) 3 more weeks until my OB appointment!!! :

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#62 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 03:17 PM
 
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leah congrats on the 10 week mark!!! i remember feeling that way with ngaio(scared) and i had never had a m/c.. i guess because i wanted her SOOO badly the thought of losing her was unbearable.. i hope this pregnancy goes so smoothly for you..!~

 

 

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#63 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 03:35 PM
 
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Thank you, Fern.

I am 1/4 of the way done, 3/4 left to go...

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#64 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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Leah, I've been thinking about you alot in terms of your pregnancy. I'm really impatient to get excited, lol. and I can actually make you those wool soakers too!! and lucky for you, I've gotten lots of practice and there looking pretty nice. okay, I'm trying to stay calm but I'd love to show you my growing dipe stash in september. I was telling razi about you guys coming and he was asking me all kinds of questions about J and Z. It was pretty funny!

I got to hold a little baby today while he slept. He was so soft and sweet and smelled so good, it's just driving me crazy to wait. I really have plenty to do to get ready and of course I don't want her to come before she's ready but I'm so impatient to hold her!!! She is totally breech right now so I'm glad I've got plenty of time before she comes.
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#65 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 04:04 PM
 
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Yes, Sarita, I was going to wait until I actually heard a until I asked you to go ahead and make me those soakers! (And a sling!!!) I don't want to bombard you with stuff to sew for me when you have your little grrl attached to you 24/7, but I know you won't mind making me a couple goodies for my new little bambino/bambina, right?

I should be able to borrow the car to come into town and see you guys while I'm in Spokane. I will be there from Thursday-Tuesday, so possibly Sunday or Monday (the 17th or 18th) ?, or whenever you can fit us in.

ETA: I forgot to add that you guys are all more than welcome to come up for the party on Saturday night, too. I'm sure my parents would love to see Lynn.

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#66 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 04:09 PM
 
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We can always come out there too, if it makes it easier. we do have a fun little yard here tho. what ever works. I'd love to make you stuff. I'm figuring I'll be back to sewing before you have your baby so I will probably wait til then. I'll also have a better idea of newborn soaker sizing i hope. maybe when your here you could pick out sling colors tho, that would be fun! I'm trying to sew right now but I keep getting on the computer I can see it from my sewing area, lol.
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#67 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 04:09 PM
 
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leah and sarita i have lots of NB/small wool that i knit that i dont want to let go of ....but id lend it

 

 

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#68 of 192 Old 08-11-2006, 04:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaFern
leah and sarita i have lots of NB/small wool that i knit that i dont want to let go of ....but id lend it
I'm totally into borrowing. I take really good care of my wool too, I won't shrink it or anything of course I can't imagine NB stuff getting super used but what do i know... i didn't do cloth w/ razi til he was 3 mo.
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#69 of 192 Old 08-12-2006, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yo yo yo, watzzzup, sistahs?!

here I am back from my vacation. watched lots of good movies at my friends. lol. one of em, is in my siggy

oh, fern. Have any largish longies that you want to get lend me?
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#70 of 192 Old 08-12-2006, 07:45 PM
 
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oh, fern. Have any largish longies that you want to get lend me?
elwynn doesnt even have a pair that fit him.. im not knitting much these days hopefully ill get around to making my neices some soon!! and my son

glad you had fun!!

 

 

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#71 of 192 Old 08-15-2006, 12:04 AM
 
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I totally love the idea of sharing baby stuff. I feel that way with my CDs, and my Buskins, and super cute stuff the kids wore. Like, I'm not using it, but it's still in too good a condition to let go, so, why not share it? I would do that with my sister but she's too selfish to take care of stuff and she'd probably sell it if she neede some fast cash.

We ate "worms with blood sauce and spiders" tonight for dinner. (Spaghetti with meat sauce.) Making up crazy ass names for food really does work to get the kids to eat different foods! Even stuff they hate ("Mom, it's too spicey!") is actually ingested ("The worms and spiders are biting my tongue! I need a drink!") I actually found a Halloween recipe for "Mouse Meatloaf" and we made individual-sized meatloaves shaped like mice, with carrot slice ears, and noodle tails, and diced olive eyes. They looked SO real, and gross. Tasted great, though. The kids loved it! (Especially the ketchup/blood.) It's too funny...

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#72 of 192 Old 08-15-2006, 11:09 AM
 
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We ate "worms with blood sauce and spiders" tonight for dinner. (Spaghetti with meat sauce.) Making up crazy ass names for food really does work to get the kids to eat different foods! Even stuff they hate ("Mom, it's too spicey!") is actually ingested ("The worms and spiders are biting my tongue! I need a drink!") I actually found a Halloween recipe for "Mouse Meatloaf" and we made individual-sized meatloaves shaped like mice, with carrot slice ears, and noodle tails, and diced olive eyes. They looked SO real, and gross. Tasted great, though. The kids loved it! (Especially the ketchup/blood.) It's too funny...
When I was a kid, we did stuff like this a lot. Omlettes were "scrambled monkey brains" and such. BeanBean, however, is way too sensitive. The mere idea of violence upsets him, so the first time I tried to tell him that a food item was something gross, he freaked out and refused to eat. : I always thought it was hilarious, and so did the kids I babysat for, but my own son wasn't up for it. He might be now, but I probably won't try it for a while.

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#73 of 192 Old 08-15-2006, 11:43 AM
 
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my kids would love more of that kind of fun! i'm not fun! (though i am known for making blue mashed potatoes in my youth to upset people)

rynna, you gave birth to an aristocrat.

i'm busy cleaning for reed's birthday party. they have always been sloppy wet crazy affairs. this year he asked for semiformal attire and added a disco dance????? i actually cleaned the room that is never clean and put three beds in it - for personal space...we'll see if they sleep there one day....
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#74 of 192 Old 08-15-2006, 01:29 PM
 
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have a fun birthday party casina!

i know what you mean about wondering if they will ever sleep in another bed/room.. elwynn has his own bed but usually sleeps with me.. which i love.. but i end up squished and squashed and i cant roll over if i want to because i have one one each side as close as can be.

i often take elwynn to his own bed after he is asleep .. but its in the same room.. i want to get him a big boy bed since his bed is a crib.. which he says he likes..sides and all.. we took one side of for a while but he flails so much in his sleep he kept falling off and crying in the night.

id like to push another bed up against ours so i can sneak some good nights sleep a bit more then fingers lengths away from ngaio.. she is such an avid night nurser.. if she smells me she wants me. all. night. long. non. stop.

 

 

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#75 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 12:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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rynna~ your kids sound so cool. I'd love to meet you all one day.
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#76 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 04:49 AM
 
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Hello mamas!
may I chime in here? I have a 3.5 year old DD who will be 4 on January 20. She has become a bit obstinent and challenging. : Requires a great deal of patience (that I usually don't manage to have ) I also have an almost 1 year old DS (1 on the 24th). I think that my DD is starting to resent my DS because I tend to give him more attn. A. because he is nursing and sits in my lap many times a day and B. He is in a really cute age, is learning new stuff. I am sad for her.

Any of you faced this when you had older children and then had baby. How did you handle it?

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#77 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 04:57 AM
 
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Hello mamas!
may I chime in here? I have a 3.5 year old DD who will be 4 on January 20. She has become a bit obstinent and challenging. : Requires a great deal of patience (that I usually don't manage to have ) I also have an almost 1 year old DS (1 on the 24th). I think that my DD is starting to resent my DS because I tend to give him more attention. A. because he is nursing and sits in my lap many times a day and B. He is in a really cute age, is learning new stuff. I am sad for her.

Any of you faced this when you had older children and then had baby. How did you handle it?
welcome!

im in the exact same place right now.. my son is 3.5.. born in december and have an 8 month old DD.. he is being very challenging. some days are better than others.. but mostly i have to ask him a million times a day to be gentle/kind with me and ngaio (his sister)

he constantly leaves toys that are not safe around where she can get them.. so im always picking stuff up and asking him to help me..which he refuses to do most of the time.. even though before his sister was born he LOVED cleaning up. id love to just get rid of the smallish unsafe toys but he's loving lego and so i really want him to get to play with it.. but arg.

he's also really into the "you dont like me..i hate you..you are so mean" stuff.. which makes me so sad..because i feel like he's picked it up from my moms foster kids who say this stuff a lot because they are sad and fucked up from being in and out of foster homes most of their lives..it makes me feel sick because im all about GD and i try so hard to be loving and patient with him at all times.. but i feel like im failing. and i know he doesnt really understand what it really means to say those things.. or the impact it has on me..

they are just soooo good at picking up words and phrases and repeating them.. i think terrible 3's is a more true term than terrible 2's..

its hard. and its so true about the cute baby thing. this age is sooo lovely(8 months to a year).. and its hard not to focus on the baby..especially when the older one is being..ahem. a monster.

i really miss having the time to really focus on him. i feel like i always have to jump up and leave him when ngaio needs me.. because i breastfeed and im practicing AP..but then im not really APing him because hes older and doesnt need me as much..at least in a physical way. i mean.. im trying to but its difficult.

i feel stretched thin. and im sad for him too


 

 

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#78 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 05:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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all things will pass with time. my mom has been saying to me, that one day I will miss this stage, believe it or not. They are so little for such a short time.

I understand what your going through, but my two were closer, so it was maybe easier, nursing them both; all I did.

anyways.
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#79 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 09:50 AM
 
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Oh yeah, we're there too with a new baby and an older kid who resents him. John (the baby) can crawl now and is starting to interfere with Lindy and her toys a lot more, and she's started saying that she wants to hit him (but not actually doing it, fortunately), and worse. Last night, I sighed and lightheartedly said, "Oh, babies are so troublesome!" and Lindy just as lightheartedly said, "Why don't you just let him tumble down the stairs and die?"
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#80 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 01:04 PM
 
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Last night, I sighed and lightheartedly said, "Oh, babies are so troublesome!" and Lindy just as lightheartedly said, "Why don't you just let him tumble down the stairs and die?"
oMG!

elwynn has said things about ngaio dying but more when she was really newborn. i was so upset!

 

 

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#81 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 02:39 PM
 
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I'm sick again. And tired. The break from pregnancy symptoms was a nice one. All my kids are crazy. :

Crystal was really really horrible for her new nurse yesterday. I can only leave Kaylee and Crystal with a nurse or DH, so if I ever want to get out of the house without the girls I need a good nurse to take care of them. Our new nurse is young, without kids, so I guess she didn't really understand what I meant when I said "You have to be firm from the beginning to let Crystal know you are the boss or she will walk all over you." Crystal is manipulative and very testy, especially with new people, so she needs clear boundaries set up from the very beginning. Plus communication is always an issue because she can't hear and not everyone knows sign language. Yesterday she took the cover off the pool table, there were balls all over the place, she broke a pool stick, she went into my room (off limits!) and started messing with my computer, she left the front door wide open with the a/c on (thankfully the dogs didn't get out), she went into Kaylee's room when she was napping (she knows better!), she spilled something sticky all over the table and floor (she usually spills drinks deliberately when a nurse is here so she can change her shirt), she pushed buttons on the DVD player (she knows better!), and got into DH's cabinets with the DVDs, video game controllers, remotes, etc... : This is an ongoing problem and I am getting soooooo frustrated with her!!! Why can't she just be good??? She definitely knows what she can and can not do when we are here, so why can't we expect the same behavior from her when we are gone???

I am almost (*almost*) at my breaking point here and I want to get out of foster care and take Zachary and get the heck out of AZ and start over!!! Right now I do not get consistent days off and I feel like I am losing it. Even when I do get to leave for a little while I'm worried about the nurse that's here in my house (we haven't been able to get a nurse in here for four months- since we got Kaylee!), and whether or not they can handle Crystal and Kaylee, and whether or not my house will be completely thrashed when I get home because the nurse doesn't keep Crystal in her place. I'm sorry for bitching here, mamas, but I am really really frustrated right now. I started doing foster care believing that I would get consistent reliable nursing care so I could get a break. I was given the impression that I would have a few nurses to work opposite each other so I could still take weekends off to go camping with my family. I have 40 hours of nursing per week per child, and I am only using 16 a week of that right now because of the qualified nursing shortage. I am so so so so tired of going somewhere and then getting calls from the nurse here telling me Crystal is too much for them to handle and can I please come home... OK, I'm done ranting now.

My conversation with Zachary yesterday in the car:
Zach: "Daddy James is going to be my Daddy too."
I told him "No, only Julianna has two dads. Daddy Rudi is your dad."
He said "Well, Daddy Rudi is getting rid of me."
I said "No he's not!"
Z: "Are you getting rid of me?"
Me: "No, I'm not getting rid of you!"
Z: "Well, you're getting rid of Nan."
Me: "No, I'm not getting rid of her. I love her very much. I want her to stay with us forever and ever, but I can't keep her. She's not mine, and Grandma Angie wants her to live over there."
Z: "Well, I'm gonna be mad at Grandma Angie!"
Me: "It's ok to be mad at her."
Z: "I'm gonna tell her NO when I see her."
Me: "You can tell her no, but Julianna will still be going to live with her."
Z: "And we will be so sad when she goes over there?"
Me: "Yes, we will all be sad when Julianna leaves, but she will have lots of love and kisses and hugs from Grandma Angie, and Nanabah, Greyhawk, and Jacob."
Z: "No, she won't get kisses, that's gross."
Me: "OK, but she will still have lots of fun over there, even if she misses us. It's ok to be mad and sad about it, but she will be ok!" (Trying to make it sound all sweet for the kids...)
Z: "Well when we go to Nan's party we can take her!"
Me: "Oh, when we go visit Nan for her birthday party we can take her with us back home?"
Z: "Yeah!!!"

All the while Julianna is silently listening to our conversation. At their last visit I told Julianna to say goodbye to her Grandma and give her a hug, and Zachary walked right up to Grandma Angie and put his arms out big for a hug. Then Julianna hugged her too, for the first time ever.

(For those of you who are new to the thread Julianna is my 3 1/2 yr old foster daughter, we've had her since she was four days old, and now she is scheduled to go live with her biological paternal grandmother in 6 months.)

So, anyway, yeah, my life is crazy as always. :

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#82 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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K's Mom, my kids are almost the exact same age as yours. DS is starting to get better at offering another toy to DD when she "messes up" his stuff, and sometimes that works. Other times I have to step in and get him to quit headbutting, hitting or kicking her. I always have him give her a hug to say sorry too. Other times, he is the only one that can get the biggest giggles out of her.

Anyone else dealing with extreme whinyness? That whiny voice drives me up the wall! : Much worse when he is hungry or tired, and we work on using a "nice voice", but man! Any other suggestions?

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#83 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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My DD just turned 3 but I want to join anyway.

After a fluke rush to the potty where she then willingly pooped on it, I tried a suggestion that others had given me: hide all the diapers and just say they're gone. Don't do anything forceful but just, essentially, eliminate the competition.
She said, "I hate peeing, I'll never pee again", and then SHE HELD IT FOR OVER 15 HOURS.

After two days where she'd only peed three times (once I caught it in the potty) I gave up. I took away all her fitteds and just switched to prefolds only. She'll never P/T EVER. :
Sometimes I think she's the most stubborn kid alive.

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#84 of 192 Old 08-16-2006, 06:37 PM
 
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Julianna holds her BMs until the last possible second. She actually told my dad yesterday that she doesn't poop, she only pees on the potty.

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#85 of 192 Old 08-17-2006, 12:10 AM
 
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hey everyone.
i've got a bellycast to go prime, and a pinata to start.

leah, i really appreciated your post. sending some strength to you.
love, casina
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#86 of 192 Old 08-17-2006, 12:17 AM
 
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leah, i really appreciated your post. sending some strength to you.
love, casina
I love you, Casina.

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#87 of 192 Old 08-17-2006, 04:15 AM
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome!

Good to know that I'm not the only one adjusting and struggling to adjust to having a new baby and older child. For some strange reason, I started to think that maybe, just maybe my parenting skills had gone to S@#T or something. : She just has not been her pre-sibling self. I second the notion that 3 is waaayyyy harder than 2!!!

DecemberSun~ Your life sounds crazy with 3 dfc. : But, I think it is soooo admirable of you to take in those children and give them a secure home. I'm soooo sorry that you have to "give back" Julianna to her bio grandmother. *hugs* to you. That must be so hard, since you've been raising her for so long. I imagine that if I were in your shoes, I would feel a bit crazy too. (sorry if I'm butting in on your life, after I've just joined this thread )

JillMamma~ Aren't you also on August 05 Babies? LOL! Thanks for your support. You truly know how it feels to have a 3.5 yr. old and 1 year old! The latest problem we're having is my DD wants to herd, pick up and move, or tackle, or play really rough with DS. I feel as if I'm a broken record saying, " please don't do that, Cheyne has to be able to agree to play that way first. . . :

I don't mean to come on here and complain and complain all about how hard my life is with DD and DS. SO, I will tell a cute story.
The other day we were having salad with Couscous on the side, this was the first time Kai had tasted it and she gobbled it all up than said, "Mom, That was yummy! Can I have some more goose bumps!" She really is a sweet heart and makes me (and her daddy and brother) laugh really hard!

Little Tea Pot- Is it possible that your dd is not wanting to use diapers to um, "cut off her nose to spite her face" kind of thing. Is she refusing to use the potty because of a struggle with you or her father? She'll proably just do it all on her own terms, huh? Can I suggest that you let her run naked for 3-4 days (outside preferably) so that she can get to learn her bodies' own signals. I've heard this works REALLY well! Good Luck! And I'm sure that she won't be in diapers at 6!

Good night mamas!

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#88 of 192 Old 08-17-2006, 04:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by K's Mom!
Little Tea Pot- Is it possible that your dd is not wanting to use diapers to um, "cut off her nose to spite her face" kind of thing. Is she refusing to use the potty because of a struggle with you or her father? She'll proably just do it all on her own terms, huh? Can I suggest that you let her run naked for 3-4 days (outside preferably) so that she can get to learn her bodies' own signals. I've heard this works REALLY well! Good Luck! And I'm sure that she won't be in diapers at 6!
We weren't potty training before, it was a fluke that I brought her to the toilet because she was gonna poop in about two seconds and I didn't have time to get a diaper so I sat her on the toilet intending to run and go get one... then she went on the toilet totallywillingly! Oh well, at least it happened ONCE
and she has been naked 99% of the day with no accidents ever since she was 18 months old. Believe me, she has bladder control that even you would envy!
She uses diapers only as a "thirty seconds on, pee, then they come off" deal. She goes in underwear or naked the rest of the time, even long car rides, for hours upon hours at a time.

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#89 of 192 Old 08-17-2006, 08:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaFern
he's also really into the "you dont like me..i hate you..you are so mean" stuff..
Fern, you can't take such statements personally. Think of it as simply experimenting with language and words. I know that many of us feel that hate is a strong word (I'm among them!) but I didn't take it personally the first time BeanBean said, "I hate you, mamma!" just like I don't necessarily take it to heart when BeanBean says, "I'll never be happy again!" (He's very dramatic! ) Try giving him other words to use: "You sound really frustrated! Are you very angry with me? You seem so unhappy, honey! I'm sorry you feel that way, what can we do to change it?" I simply don't reflect the word "hate" back to him, and now he uses other words. "I'm so upset with you, mamma! I don't appreciate that you won't let me ______ right now!" He hasn't told me he hates me in at least six months. It's okay, because I know that he never actually hated me, he just wasn't articulating himself clearly. Heck, loads of very intelligent adults have difficultly articulating their thoughts when they're upset, it stands to reason that a person who's only been talking for a year or two would have a hard time finding the right words when they're unhappy.

It doesn't matter where he heard it from; every healthy, supported child will experiment with language in this way at some point in their lives, usually in early childhood and again in early adolesence (remember the first time you said, "shit" in front of a relative? or the first time you said it to friends and you knew that you should *never* say it in front of grandma? ). It's perfectly normal, he doesn't really hate you or else he wouldn't be brave enough to say such things to you, and he *will* move past it, probably sooner than you think.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#90 of 192 Old 08-17-2006, 02:31 PM
 
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MamaFern - I tried to PM you back but your mailbox is full. PM me when you clean them out.

Thanks!
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