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#91 of 192 Old 08-17-2006, 04:12 PM
 
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#92 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 10:23 AM
 
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getting ready for our move this coming tuesday. it's just down teh street so shouldn't be as bad as the last one. Kathrynn seems pretty excited about it. Esp since her grandparents and aunt are coming to visit next week to help us settle in after we've moved. :P

i had to at the idea of naming dinner items using blood or animal parts. K too is very sensitve and i think she might freak if i told her we were eating monkey brains, as she loves monkeys. she has a great imagination, but i'm not sure if it would extend that way.

she doesn't know the word hate at this point, but she knows the phrase "i'm having a difficult day" from when we visited my parents last. lol
its funny how fast they can catch onto a phrase.
oh, one day she called me a butt hole and wes and i about died from laughter. luckily we were in another room so she couldn't see us laughing.
she also calls the cat a crack whore sometimes. :

we've been going to this say it in spanish thing at the library every thursday, and K is really getting into it. Her first words were spanish, but then my attempt at learning spanish went to the wind and it kind of was forgotten. i really wish i knew how to speak it, but i have a hard enough time w/ english sometimse.

K's grandma got her a waldorf play stand for an early b'day present. She got a great deal on ebay. It should arrive by Tuesday i hope so we can put it into her new room. Anyone have one?

thats enuf blahblahblah for now.

hugs and love to all the mamas!!!!
lisa
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#93 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 10:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mona
oh, one day she called me a butt hole and wes and i about died from laughter. luckily we were in another room so she couldn't see us laughing.
she also calls the cat a crack whore sometimes. :
: : : OMG, that's fantastic!

In the grocery store a few days ago, BeanBean refused to sit in the car cart next to his sister because, "BooBah doesn't want me in there, if I climb back in she'll bite my ass!" : Of course, he said it loudly enough so that half the store could hear him. It was hilarious!! OMG, it's SO HARD not to laugh.

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#94 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 01:57 PM
 
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its funny how fast they can catch onto a phrase.
oh, one day she called me a butt hole and wes and i about died from laughter. luckily we were in another room so she couldn't see us laughing.
she also calls the cat a crack whore sometimes. :

:

the other day we were walking to the local sushi shop and elwynn and i were chattering away.. ngaio was in the sling and he was on his daddies shoulders and i asked him where something was and he pointed and said "way the fuck over there" and tim and i laughed sooo hard. he just said it so casually and sweetly. it was very funny.

 

 

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#95 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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:.... sa-sa, my 2 YO, uses the word shit sometimes when she wants to accentuate something when she's mad, like "haeven, shit..."
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#96 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 05:33 PM
 
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This age is just full of fantastically funny things! IT's very entertaining. LOL!

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#97 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 07:18 PM
 
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Mine has picked up the phrase we use when we're DEAD SERIOUS about her not doing something: "Don't ever do that again".

The other day she was struggling while trying to strip naked. I went over and reached to pull off her pants and she backed up, pointed a finger and said, "Don't you EVER take off my pants! EVER!" then she waddled away with them hanging around her ankles so she could do it herself.

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#98 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 08:15 PM
 
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J and Z call each other "bastard" sometimes. :
And Zachary just LOVES going by the dam at the lake so he can say "damn." "Mom, is that the dam? I can day damn, right, Mom?"
Gee, I wonder where they hear these words???

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#99 of 192 Old 08-18-2006, 10:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mona
oh, one day she called me a butt hole and wes and i about died from laughter. luckily we were in another room so she couldn't see us laughing.
she also calls the cat a crack whore sometimes. :
OMG!!!
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#100 of 192 Old 08-19-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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oh, and i stand corrected, she called me an ass-hole. wes corrected me. the thing is, she did it w/ that so sweet voice, calling after me. it was so cute that we even hated to tell her that wasn't nice.

so, kathrynn has always hated and mostly refused to say good bye.
this has existed ever since i can remember. this pattern has continued, and now that she is older, it is more annoying in the sense that it is (1) rude to friends of hers that have her over to her house, so kinda hurts their feelings and (2) noticably not polite in teh general sense.
she also has always been equally "bad" about saying sorry.

we've never forced her to say either, but lately this has caused some issues and i'm not sure what to do with it. i feel "wierd' about MAKING her say these things, and i have explained to her that it makes people feel sad when she does not either say good bye or apologize if she hurts someone.
the other issue is, there is basically no "making" this child do anything. she is as stubborn as a german capricorn can get.

any experience with this kind of thing?

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#101 of 192 Old 08-19-2006, 01:00 AM
 
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I know I'm not the right person to answer this, Mona, because I do encourage my kids to say the "right" responses in public. Like today at the doctor's office everyone was commenting on how cute Zach looked with his spikey 'do (I gave him a flat top and use gel- he looks adorable, if I do say so myself), so I asked him "Can you say thank you?" and he did. I ask him to say thank you to the carousel operator at the mall after he rides, too. I'm sure Rynna and Casina will have better suggestions for what we really should be doing, though...
So, Zachary has a raging ear infection from swimmer's ear. The other day after swimming he was stomping his feet saying "Listen, Mom!" and I was trying to explain to him that he was hearing the sound of water echoing in his ears. Anyway, I feel so bad for my little guy when he has an earache, 'cause there's nothing I can really do for him, YK? He hates taking medicine so I basically had to bribe him to take some Motrin at 3am this morning so we could all get some sleep.
Oh, and eta: Kaylee has really been vocalizing lately! She is saying uh-oh, yay, and hi. She will be 2 on Monday.

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#102 of 192 Old 08-19-2006, 05:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mona
oh, and i stand corrected, she called me an ass-hole. wes corrected me. the thing is, she did it w/ that so sweet voice, calling after me. it was so cute that we even hated to tell her that wasn't nice.

so, kathrynn has always hated and mostly refused to say good bye.
this has existed ever since i can remember. this pattern has continued, and now that she is older, it is more annoying in the sense that it is (1) rude to friends of hers that have her over to her house, so kinda hurts their feelings and (2) noticably not polite in teh general sense.
she also has always been equally "bad" about saying sorry.

we've never forced her to say either, but lately this has caused some issues and i'm not sure what to do with it. i feel "wierd' about MAKING her say these things, and i have explained to her that it makes people feel sad when she does not either say good bye or apologize if she hurts someone.
the other issue is, there is basically no "making" this child do anything. she is as stubborn as a german capricorn can get.

any experience with this kind of thing?

:
my kids are quite polite, and I've *never* told them to say sorry, or thank-you... they learn from experience. make a point of being polite to people (and them) yourself, and the kids will follow.

I have a thing about moms telling kids to say they're sorry, its just is so forced, and not meaningful at all. I have never told my kids to say they are sorry to someone. When theres a "situation" I always point out that the other person is upset because of something that they did, and maybe twice I suggested that if they apologized, it would make the other person feel better. But sorry is an empathetic feeling, which isn't really developed in kids till a lot later (around 5?)

With bye, I think the crystal kids, are saying bye in their minds, so they don't feel it's neccesary to say it with their voice too. And I don't think many other 3 YO's would be insulted if their comrade didn't say bye, but I don't know, maybe kathryns friends are older?
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#103 of 192 Old 08-19-2006, 05:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oh, yeah, and leah, you have 999 posts! Crazy. tomorrow you shall join the ranks of senior member. what do you think your senior member title will be? Or can I suggest some?:........

-mom with too many
-supermom
-and you think you have it hard

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#104 of 192 Old 08-19-2006, 08:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by majazama
my kids are quite polite, and I've *never* told them to say sorry, or thank-you... they learn from experience. make a point of being polite to people (and them) yourself, and the kids will follow.

I have a thing about moms telling kids to say they're sorry, its just is so forced, and not meaningful at all. I have never told my kids to say they are sorry to someone. When theres a "situation" I always point out that the other person is upset because of something that they did, and maybe twice I suggested that if they apologized, it would make the other person feel better. But sorry is an empathetic feeling, which isn't really developed in kids till a lot later (around 5?)

With bye, I think the crystal kids, are saying bye in their minds, so they don't feel it's neccesary to say it with their voice too. And I don't think many other 3 YO's would be insulted if their comrade didn't say bye, but I don't know, maybe kathryns friends are older?
i've always felt that way too jaz. and we've never made her say anything. we were inspired when she said thank you from hearing us say it, and never asking her to say it. but now, she's almost four. she's heard us say good bye, well forever. and we apologize a lot.
yes, she is extremely sensitive, so there a lot of issues w/ that.
but the thing is, she made this girl feel really bad today, er, yesterday, and it was really uncomfortable to watch this other girl be so upset and hurt and k just stand there like a bitch. there were other factors involved, such as k being tired, and maybe hungry too. and i think a bit over stimulated.
but i just felt bad as a parent.

later on she ran into me and hurt me, and wes was like, can't she ever just say sorry? being a capricorn like her, i know from experience that it is hard for "us types" to take ownership sometimes. i want to nip that pattern before she gets too old.

but yeah, she is only 3 still. and yeah, a lot of kids say the words because they are supposed to , so no, i'm not interested in that, not really.
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#105 of 192 Old 08-19-2006, 02:34 PM
 
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I read a lot, but post only every so often. I just wanted to pop in quick and say that reading ( and re-reading parts) of this thread helped me feel better this morning. The last oh, few weeks (but especially the last week) have been very, VERY draining.

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Originally Posted by eilonwy
Think of it as simply experimenting with language and words. I know that many of us feel that hate is a strong word (I'm among them!) but I didn't take it personally the first time BeanBean said, "I hate you, mamma!" just like I don't necessarily take it to heart when BeanBean says, "I'll never be happy again!" (He's very dramatic! ) Try giving him other words to use: "You sound really frustrated! Are you very angry with me? You seem so unhappy, honey! I'm sorry you feel that way, what can we do to change it?" I simply don't reflect the word "hate" back to him, and now he uses other words. "I'm so upset with you, mamma! I don't appreciate that you won't let me ______ right now!" He hasn't told me he hates me in at least six months. It's okay, because I know that he never actually hated me, he just wasn't articulating himself clearly. Heck, loads of very intelligent adults have difficultly articulating their thoughts when they're upset, it stands to reason that a person who's only been talking for a year or two would have a hard time finding the right words when they're unhappy.
Man, that really hit home. DS is such a drama king sometimes! Seeing it in written format somehow made it easier for me to understand what he's going through. When it's happening, the situation is so charged and emotional (on both ends) that it's really hard for me to step outside the arena and look at it with a clear head. Thanks for those words. They make sense.

Gotta run!

~Kate
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#106 of 192 Old 08-19-2006, 03:49 PM
 
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what do you think your senior member title will be? Or can I suggest some?:........

-mom with too many
-supermom
-and you think you have it hard

hehe

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#107 of 192 Old 08-21-2006, 09:38 PM
 
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hey everyone. been busy. had birthday party and my house is cleaner than ever.

my ideals believe that sorry should be genuine and learned from example but from my living with the three in our general western world, the word sorry should also be a habit. the large issues concerning are actually the age of the children and what we want and how uncomfortable we might be about what people think. this age - contriteness ain't really gonna happen. but generally most people expect some sentiment that something bad happened that they didn't like, and the word sorry is the simplest.
when reed was this age there was no spoken sorry possible and he could not even be ordered to do it. i even tried comforting the victim to make him feel shame and it just flawed my relationship with him, duh.

however, parents can say sorry for their own child to the hurt party or the parent of the kid. a gracious "i'm sorry that happenned" suffices and can be honestly felt.

sheez, i sound like miss manners. i also have to say that my boys have both only started to really volunteer sorry this year - clay is nearing 6 and reed is just 8. ruby gets drilled on it simply from their example, and yes, i now demand them to say it when occasions demand it because i feel that is the only way they can practice when it is needed. but that is for their personalities, and for me. i had to make them say sorry because instead they would react furiously and yell about how the other person shouldn't have caused it to happen! which is a sorry as they can get for the most part - that they wish whatever hadn't happenned!
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#108 of 192 Old 08-22-2006, 05:40 PM
 
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Hey mamas, I'd like to join in. Emma is almost 3.5, April birthday. Question about potty training...HELP!!!!!!!!!! I'm so frustrated with it. I firmly believe in "they will learn when they're ready". And I know she is, she had been potty/poopy trained for a couple weeks, and now she will ocasionally go in the toilet. I have tried everything, and I give up. We use cloth "pullups", I've done the underwear route, bribing, ignoring when she soils herself, (meaning, I just change her, and don't give the attention I belive she is looking for, when it comes to pooping).

Any other people going through this?

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#109 of 192 Old 08-22-2006, 05:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Sydnee
Hey mamas, I'd like to join in. Emma is almost 3.5, April birthday. Question about potty training...HELP!!!!!!!!!! I'm so frustrated with it. I firmly believe in "they will learn when they're ready". And I know she is, she had been potty/poopy trained for a couple weeks, and now she will ocasionally go in the toilet. I have tried everything, and I give up. We use cloth "pullups", I've done the underwear route, bribing, ignoring when she soils herself, (meaning, I just change her, and don't give the attention I belive she is looking for, when it comes to pooping).

Any other people going through this?
have you tried letting her run around naked outside? do you have a little potty that she can use herself? some kids prefer the thing that goes on the toilet too. I never used "training pants". I just wouldn't put her diapers on at all, and that was when she was 20 months. If you read the book on elimination communication, they mention that it is actually disposable diaper propoganda that kids should train till they are "ready". : ( do you have carpets in your house? if not, then theres no reason to not let her run around and pee on the floor, and then you can just keep a big pile of rags to wipe it up.) but always have the potty where she can see it, use it. talk to her about it, tell her how you feel about still doing diapers, etc.
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#110 of 192 Old 08-22-2006, 06:57 PM
 
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just checking in at the end of this thread. my 3.5'er is wonderful. With ups and big old downs. Lately he's started throwing TANTRUMs when I leave him at daycare in the AM. Really fighting and kicking and crying and just being super-brat. I was just starting to feel sorry/guilty for him and this AM he looked me right in the eyes (as I was dropping him off, taking off his jacket) and said "I'm going to cry now", with a sinister grin on his face and BAM full-on tantrum. Can you believe that? Well, my guilt vanished and I turned tail and left for work... ack! Those button-pushers know what they're doing, don't they?!?!

He's bored of daycare as he's the oldest there. He starts preschool in two weeks and we're ALL excited for it. Anyone else just starting preschool?
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#111 of 192 Old 08-22-2006, 10:35 PM
 
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edamommy- you have one smart guy there He is quite an actor! I hope he enjoys preschool and is more stimulated there!

School starts for my ds 2 weeks from today. He was also in school from this past Dec. to June (it's a program through the county where they also get therapy- PEP in case anyone has heard of it). Anyway, I CAN'T WAIT! And I don't mean that in a negative way- he just loved school SOOOO much, and did so well there, and adored the schoolbus, that he's been sorely missing it all summer and is really excited to go back. We will visit his classroom this Fri. and meet the teacher.

Re: potty training- we also did the run around naked thing and that worked very well. Even after he was trained, he wouldn't go at daycare and they had to leave him naked there too! He did it pretty quickly (at age 3.5) using this method. Now my only problem is naptime- *every single day* he pees all over the floor even though he has a potty in his room and knows how to pull down his pants. I hate to put a diaper on him b/c that seems like taking a step backwards!
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#112 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 12:24 AM
 
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We have carpet everywhere, and I do daycare, so I feel weird letting her run nekkid, kwim? And we just got new furniture, so do I ban her from sitting on it??

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#113 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 03:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Sydnee
We have carpet everywhere, and I do daycare, so I feel weird letting her run nekkid, kwim? And we just got new furniture, so do I ban her from sitting on it??
oh, I see. Maybe let her run naked when the other kids aren't around? Do you think that your DD would purposely pee on new furniture? that would suck. And try going outdoors a lot. If it's too hot, maybe go to a lake or something... somewhere, where she can enjoy the freedom of not wetting herself, cause when you're outside, the pee just goes into the ground, and fertilizes the grass, trees, etc.

I just don't know why a kid shouldn't be potty learned by this age (not to pick on you, sydnee, BTW) After seeing my friend's kid poop on the potty at 6 months and my neice, whos 8 months old use the potty regularly, and wait till shes on the potty before peeing, I don't know how some kids can still be having problems with it at almost 4 years old. Do you think its a control issue? Maybe is she jealous of the other kids you look after? Are there younger ones that still wear diapers?

best of luck!
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#114 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 03:30 AM
 
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Majazama - I kind of find that post a little offensive, because regardless of whether or not you intend to be picking on someone, it IS picking on someone: kids who potty train at the normal time.

Truly 'late' potty training can be for a number of reasons, including psychological and sensory issues. My younger sister was a very late trainer because she had severe IBS and was terrified to have a bowel movement.
But 3-3.5 is actually a normal range... and studies have shown that kids who "train early" actually tend to have issues with it that last until *that* point, instead of the kids who train when they're ready and tend to do it very quickly and with little struggle.

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#115 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 04:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littleteapot
Majazama - I kind of find that post a little offensive, because regardless of whether or not you intend to be picking on someone, it IS picking on someone: kids who potty train at the normal time.

Truly 'late' potty training can be for a number of reasons, including psychological and sensory issues. My younger sister was a very late trainer because she had severe IBS and was terrified to have a bowel movement.
But 3-3.5 is actually a normal range... and studies have shown that kids who "train early" actually tend to have issues with it that last until *that* point, instead of the kids who train when they're ready and tend to do it very quickly and with little struggle.
I'm sorry, LTP. I'm tired and it's past my bedtime. I was just trying to point out that a truth in the world of EC, which I know a lot of people aren't aware of, is that babies are born with the ability to let their parents know when they have to eliminate. I don't think anybody would like to sit in their own urine or feces, right? and we are like that from birth. I didn't do EC with my dd's from birth, but I let them go diaper-free as much as I could.

Heynow, I didn't "force" my kids to potty learn at all. I just had the potty available for them to use when they wanted, and my 2 year old is about 90% potty learned right now, just because she wants to use the potty (after going poop once at gramas). Shes been [not totally] naked most of the time since she was about 9 months old. Yes, I've had to clean up lots of crap off the floor, but at least she didn't have to sit in it, or have it smeared on her skin.

I think people have a weird fear of damaging their kids forever, even if they gently try to help their kids to use the potty. It stems from years ago, when kids would be strapped to toilets until they did their business. That was definately bad, but now, we know that we can talk to our kids about things, especially by 3 years old. (the disposble diaper industry loves parents fear of potty-learning-damage, so they use that to say kids shouldn't be trained till 3, so people will use as many sposies as possible)

There was never a struggle, I made the decision to let my kids go diaper-free, and I took care of the messes. And sometimes, they told me, and I'd take them to the "big potty", or would catch them mid-elimination on the little potty.

my daughters are opposites in almost everything, and yet they have both potty-learned by 2 years old (but used/ing diapers at night for some time after, though my 3 1/2 was night time PL by 3). I don't think it's just about what kind of kid you have. But I can understand parents who are very busy not being able to let their kids go diaper-free. You have to be vigilant, and basically not have anything else to do, I guess.
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#116 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 09:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by littleteapot
Majazama - I kind of find that post a little offensive, because regardless of whether or not you intend to be picking on someone, it IS picking on someone: kids who potty train at the normal time.
Actually? Even in this country, 20 years ago nobody would have said that 3.5 was "the normal time" to be working on potty learning with kids who don't have other problems. Night time, maybe, but during the day? That's new. I can remember hearing as recently as 1990 about children who weren't potty trained by their third birthdays, hearing adults wondering what kind of problems the kids (or their parents) had that were preventing it. She could have worded it better (no offense, Jaz! ) but Jaz is correct-- the current thinking on potty training in this country (and it's still fairly unique to the western world) is largely the result of the disposeable diapering indurstry.

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Truly 'late' potty training can be for a number of reasons, including psychological and sensory issues. My younger sister was a very late trainer because she had severe IBS and was terrified to have a bowel movement.
Absolutely; parents have to be able to assess these issues for themselves. My daughter has a kidney problem which causes her to put out much, much, MUCH more urine than an average child of her age/size. Her nephrologist told me to keep in mind that she was very likely to have difficulty controling herself, because her bladder fills more quickly. I did keep it in mind, and I have never pressed the potty issue with her, but today at 26 months she is completely diaper free, and only rarely has accidents; in the past three weeks, she's had two. Why? Because I listen to my daughter. She didn't like the smell of her poop, she saw that her brother never had to smell it on the toilet, so she started pooping in the toilet. When I told her that if she peed in the toilet as well she wouldn't have to wear diapers at all, she was thrilled and immediately began using it. I offered her the potty first, but she didn't like it; she could still smell things, and there was something to do afterwards. She learned her body's signals very rapidly, devised a way to get herself onto the toilet, and has been happy as a clam ever since.

What didn't I do? I didn't refer to pull-ups as "big kid pants," but rather "princess diapers," because that's what they are. We also only used those for car trips. I kept (keep!) a Baby Bjorn Little Potty in the car, but that's the only time she'll use it; she vastly prefers regular toilets to the potty seat.

Quote:
But 3-3.5 is actually a normal range...
Again, 3-3.5 is not normal; it's average, and there's a difference. Average is a mathematical concept based on what the group in question is actually doing. Normal is what happens naturally, what nature intended. Yes, today in this country, the average boy is fully out of diapers around 40 months, girls around 37 months. That doesn't make it normal.

I wear size 18 jeans; this is, in fact, the average size for a woman to wear in America. That doesn't mean that it's normal-- it's very clearly not. I'm a fat person. It's not normal to be fat. My body knows this, my lungs have a harder time getting air, I have less energy than my healthier, thinner peers, and my feet hurt constantly just from the force my fat ass exerts on them all the time. I'm very much average in this respect, but it's certainly not normal or desireable.

Quote:
and studies have shown that kids who "train early" actually tend to have issues with it that last until *that* point, instead of the kids who train when they're ready and tend to do it very quickly and with little struggle.
I tend to refer to potty training as potty learning, because I associate the word "train" very strongly with dogs, and my kids aren't pets; they just needed to learn a new skill (how to use the toilet on their own). Studies funded by disposeable diapering companies (and they inevitably are) are designed to keep kids in their products for as long as possible. They want children to go through all their diapers, from newborn to size 5 or 6, buying smalller (and more expensive) packages as the kids get older, hoping that they'll train out. Look at the Pampers Advanced Feel -n- Learn Trainers; they advertise these diapers as "the fast track to potty training." In fact, these diapers (and they are diapers) don't even come in a size smaller than 4T-5T-- the child has to weigh damn near 40 pounds before they'll even fit. I was somewhat petite, but I didn't weigh 40 pounds until my fifth birthday (though of course, children are getting bigger and heavier). These diapers-- the so called "fast track," are designed for children who are at least 3.5 years old!

Children who are forced to potty learn before they are ready are bound to have issues, sure, I can accept that. The thing is, you can offer a child alternatives to diapers without forcing the issue, and most of us are here because we are paying close attention to our children, we understand them in ways that many parents today sadly don't. AP is all about bonding with your child, and that bonding facilitates understanding and rapport.

Most children are, quite frankly, born ready and then diaper trained by their parents. How many times have you seen a newborn or infant cry before they need to be changed? I know that my son did it; I can remember him tapping his diaper with his fist at three months of age before he'd even gone, and thinking, "He's asking me to change him before he pees, how could he possibly be ready to use a potty as a baby?" (This was before I learned about Elimination Communication). BooBah didn't do this, she just seemed to go all the time unless she was sick, but I knew that Bella would be capable of it. Today I can leave her diaper free all day, as long as I have the ability to drop whatever I'm doing to hold her over the BBLP when she indicates that she needs to go. I'm not forcing her; on the contrary, when I put a diaper on her I'm forcing her to sit in her own urine and/or feces until it's convinient for me to change her.

There are windows of opportunity for parents who choose to diaper train their children; these vary from child to child, but I know that many children start waking around 15 months in the middle of the night. It was actually Casina here who suggested to me that Bean might have to pee when he started doing this. That night when he woke up crying, I got up and put him on the toilet. He peed and instantly fell back to sleep, wearing a dry diaper. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to help him continually at that point (I was very pregnant with BooBah and we had the world's teensiest bathroom) and we (mostly) missed that window. The next one came around 28 months, iirc, and at that point he got out of diapers very quickly. He was entirely diaper free at home about two weeks later, and I stopped putting pull-ups on him for trips around 34 months when I realized that he wouldn't have accidents if I kept a potty in the car for him to use. Honestly, I felt like it was a little late, and felt very guilty for having missed his first two "windows" (at three and 15 months).

Despite the fact that he was, in my opinion, somewhat "late," Bean never wore large sized cloth diapers at all, and was never bigger than a size 3 paper diaper. Today, you can buy regular diapers up to size *7* (especially in "fat states" like mine ), and "trainers" for kids up to 110 pounds. Diaper companies neither want nor expect children to train out of any size smaller than a 5. They want you to believe that it's healthy and normal for your child to be wearing diapers until they're damn near four and need to get out to go to preschool.

I strongly believe that most healthy children with involved parents can and should be out of diapers, at least during the daytime, by their third birthdays.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#117 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 01:10 PM
 
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i also tend to agree with majazama..

my son was pretty much fully potty using by 1 1/2-2..my 8 month old has hardly pooped in a diaper since she was a few months old and rarely pee's anywhere but her potty and the bathroom sink. it isnt forced..i follow her signals and take her when she tells me she needs to go. if she goes great. if not i dont push it.

disposable diapers are a huge industry and they do encourage kids to use them for as long as possible( irecently saw a commercial for night time pull ups for kids that were 6 and 7!?)..because sales are profit and profit is power..
not to say that other issues dont interfere with potty using. ive experienced this first hand with my son, who was fully night time potty learned but when his sister was born went a few steps back.. sometimes pees the bed if he doesnt pee right before..and wont wake up to tell me anymore, even though he uesed to...

there is truth to both sides.. but i think in our world of disposable everything people are taught to be wasteful and uncaring..

i met an older woman once in a laundromat..i was washing my cloth diapers.,. .didnt have a washing machine in my rented basement suite.
she saw me folding them with baby in the sling and told me about her 2 children..raised in rural scottland and both potty trained by a year old. she said it was out of necessity.. washing cloth diapers by hand is a lot of work and there was no other option or laundromats to go to if she felt lazy or tired..


and in places where disposable diapers are inexcessable.. babies are EC'd and its totally normal.

 

 

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#118 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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I have no good advice for the potty learning other than naked time. My kids just kept peeing if I put underwear on them, they would only use the potty if they were naked. It's true you kind of have to drop everything and focus only on potty learning for a few days/weeks/months. I am not a WOHM with kids in daycare, so I don't have any tips or tricks to use other than the obvious naked time.

Julianna is having flashbacks from drug withdrawels or something... She has been having major tantrums and screaming fests. Everything pisses her off to inconsolable. Just like when she was an infant, the more I try to comfort her the more overstimulated she gets and the harder she cries. It is very frustrating because I feel so badly for her and want to give her more attention, but it's like the exact WRONG thing to do for her when she's like this. She seems to have regressed so much in the past few months. It's probably because of the whole Grandma thing, but still... It has not been fun to deal with Julianna lately. She's pouting in her room as we speak.

Still pregnant, still tired, still sick. Trying not to lose my sanity in this house full of crazy kids!!! :

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#119 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 04:00 PM
 
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I also agree with nekkid time for babies/kids in term of potty learning (and otherwise). I also cleaned alot of crap up off the floor until ds was about 22 months old. He was day learned by 26 mo. I really did nothing other than clean up the mess if it happened. He was night learned for quite awhile after that but then we moved and had quite a few upheavels in our life and now he does pee every night. I know if he woke up he would go in the potty but I have to say that I'm really enjoying him sleeping thru the whole night. My only complaint is that the diapers don't always hold it all in. Lately, ds has been requesting not to wear a dipe at night so we've been talking about ways for that to happen. Uhmm, sorta rambling i guess. anyhow, rynna, i think your post was right on. ita with the disposable diaper/marketing propaganda being geared toward kids not really 'training' til later and that being seen as the 'norm'.

all this talk has got me contimplating my excitement over cloth dipes for my new babe. Maybe EC needs some more looking into on my part. Mamafern, i may be pickin' your brain soon

Leah, I'm so glad you are still pregnant, sorry you don't feel good tho. I can so completely relate! I'm excited to see you soon. I can't believe how time is flying. We are going to go to the fair the weekend you're here. Interested in coming? J and Z would be free. Sorry J is having such a hard time. Poor little thing, how confused she must be I've also been thinking about your post awhile back about Crystal. I was thinking how hard it must be for her to get left behind almost every time you go somewhere. I realize that can't change but maybe you could talk to her about that. Maybe do something that would make her feel not so left out? I'm not saying bring some treat home every time but i don't know... just thoughts I guess. You are one awesome mama by the way.

p.s. sorry i've been missing for a bit. i guess i've just been in a quiet mood. no, actually i've been pretty cranky but i didn't want to spread that around too much, lol.
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#120 of 192 Old 08-23-2006, 04:49 PM
 
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Hey Sarita! :

Yeah, the fair sounds good. The kids will LOVE it. What day are you going? I rented a car so it will be no problem to meet up with you guys whenever. I am excited to see you too! (BTW- Zachary always plays with that piggy bank you got him for his birthday. He *loves* playing with money, lol...)

Just FYI, we don't leave Crystal home every time we leave. We only have a nurse two or three days a week. She goes to school 5 days a week, and on the weekend if we aren't being lazy at home we go to the lake (she LOVES the boat), the mall, she rides the carousel (yes, we lift her 70 lb body into a horse), we go out to eat, she sees movies, we go swimming at my mom's and aunt's, we go to friends' houses and she plays with their kids. She goes to the doctor a lot, which is like a field trip for her. We take her to the Wiggles concerts every year, and just last week we saw Champions on Ice. It's not like she never gets out of the house. But sometimes it's nice to go out with kids who walk and talk and don't require a heavy oxygen tank and wheelchair, YK? (It's nice to go out with no kids at all, but that almost never happens so I have no idea what that's like anymore!!! ) So, I don't feel guilty for needing a break every now and then, and in my opinion she needs to get a grip and be good for the nurse. Luckily our new nurse is young and they seem to be getting along very well. Not to mention that she is very good with my other kids and I like her a lot, so I hope we get to keep her!

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