How do you know if your 3 yo is hyper or just, well, 3? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds has been bouncing off the walls lately. People that know him ask if we've given him coffee or something. He doesn't ever listen, EVER. He's like a pesky mosquito around his sister. And he doesn't stop from morning til bedtime. We've started doing time-outs just because so many times a day he just needs to cool off, or I need to cool off before I scream at him. He's always yelling, babbling, bullying the dog, pulling hius sister's feet as I'm carrying her. He never stops. He gets angry so quickly.

We go to the playground and out, but he doesn't run around to burn off his energy.

I swear someone's been slipping speed into his milk!

And, obviously, he's burning me out. I'm sadly looking forward to sending him to preschool.:
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#2 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 04:23 PM
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Sounds like a 3 yo! (Especially a 3 yo. boy). They really do need to run off their energy.........my kids are currently in swim lessons, karate lessons, and they ride their bikes a lot.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#3 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 04:25 PM
 
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My boys are like that ALOT...i am so happy when they can go outside and play

Aron Mama to 6 homeschoolers -- 12, 10, 8, 5, 3, baby

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#4 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 04:26 PM
 
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i don't know what to say, other than when my ds was 3, he was the same way. i've even had my bro ask me "does he EVER listen?". and i said "um, ya, sometimes." (aka if it's something he wants to do anyways) arg!

he's now almost 5, and still quite the same, although maybe calmed down just a tiny bit. maybe it's just his personality?

anyways, i HEAR you! it can be extremely frustrating. i think it helps if you put a positive spin on things, so you don't end up thinking of him negetively. like instead of "he's hyper" you say "he sure does have alot of energy, without him, our family would be boring!" or instead of "he's stubborn, he never listens", you say "he certainly knows what he wants and is very determined/driven to figure out how to get it". my son really does have "leadership qualities" aka he likes to dictate who plays with what and when and how.

would love to hear other people's thoughts.

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Acting as a Gestational Surrogate for my cousin, EDD Jan 17th
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#5 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 04:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm glad to hear all this. I'm so afraid that he'll end up one of those ADHD kids in school whose teachers all want him on Ritalin.

He's *actually* taking a nap right now. Dh has promised to take him to the football field and run him around this eve. I'd do it, but it's kinda hard when it's hot and you've got a very attached babe.
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#6 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 05:09 PM
 
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My 3-year-old DS is also very active. I prefer the word "active" to "hyper." He also has trouble listening, etc. I think it's pretty common for the age. Just another stage to enjoy... :
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#7 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 05:18 PM
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Sounds like my ds too - we spend a lot of time outside and he wrestles with his papa (or me if papa isn't around) every night.

We have pillow fights and bang on pieces of wood outside. We smush playdo a lot too and take baths and splash.

He jumps on the couch and off the couch and from the couch to the ottoman etc.

He goes to gymnastics class once a week and bounces bounces bounces on the trampolines.

And he listens but I have to make sure that he is paying attention to me - oftentimes he is so into his own drama with his cars or whatever that it is like he is miles away. So i need to be close to him or touch him to get him to really stop his imagining and listen to me.

I am sure that it is exhausitng with a baby.

one other thing we do is get all his stuffed animals and turn on the music and have a dance party. He flips and flops all over the bed and uses up some energy that way too.

He also tends to ramp up when he is tired so it seems like he goes even more turbo near bedtime which is when everyone is tired.

Come to think of it he even bounces while eating dinner most nights!


But yes another stage to enjoy....
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#8 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 05:25 PM
 
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Just my idea...we have a 3 1/2 year old who is at the other end of the spectrum. We have been trying to INCREASE her stamina to keep up with other kids. so when dh gets home she and my 22 month old do "races" across the backyard. they count how many seconds they can get from the tree to the play house and if they can improve their time. They also do it skipping, rolling however wears them out. i also have a 2 month old so if we haven't been out enough that day for them to sleep well, he is in charge of multiple "races" to get them tired for bed. You can be pretty inventive. If he's like most 3 year olds he'll love "beating" daddy and improving his time etc. good luck! I'm having trouble controling my tantrum ridden 22 month old right now so i feel for ya!
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#9 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 05:48 PM
 
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DS is exactly as you describe. In order to keep up with him, I have to have lots of "Me Time"...speaking of "Me" DS is going through this phase of thinking EVERYTHING is *His*

"It's Mine" he says and will throw an absolute fit if you try to take whatever-it-is he has away from him.

I don't go too many places because his behavior is such that we cannot do anything with him when he misbehaves.

Our DS is VERY CONFRONTATIONAL and is prepared to go to War in front of anybody.

You are not alone.
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#10 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 07:20 PM
 
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While my ds will be turning 6 later this month, he WAS once a three year old boy...and very much like many of the ones you are all describing. In addition to possessing an unbelievable amount of energy, he was also oppositional, strong-willed, and often couldn't calm down. You will be interested to know that in kindergarten last year, he was a dream student in most ways (minus the slightly defiant edge he can't seem to kick). However, at home, he is still the same oppositional and "hyper" kid we have always known. He just knows when it's "serious time" ( which, by the way, apparently never happens around me). You may find your "wild child" will be much tamer when the necessity arises.
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#11 of 22 Old 08-09-2006, 08:23 PM
 
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My 3.5 yr. old is like that, he just jumps around all of the time and rarely listens, unless I bribe him. It's pretty rough when I'm not up for it, but I do enjoy his energy a lot of the time.
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#12 of 22 Old 08-10-2006, 10:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QDB
Sounds like my ds too - we spend a lot of time outside and he wrestles with his papa (or me if papa isn't around) every night.

We have pillow fights and bang on pieces of wood outside. We smush playdo a lot too and take baths and splash.

He jumps on the couch and off the couch and from the couch to the ottoman etc.

He goes to gymnastics class once a week and bounces bounces bounces on the trampolines.

And he listens but I have to make sure that he is paying attention to me - oftentimes he is so into his own drama with his cars or whatever that it is like he is miles away. So i need to be close to him or touch him to get him to really stop his imagining and listen to me.

I am sure that it is exhausitng with a baby.

one other thing we do is get all his stuffed animals and turn on the music and have a dance party. He flips and flops all over the bed and uses up some energy that way too.

He also tends to ramp up when he is tired so it seems like he goes even more turbo near bedtime which is when everyone is tired.

Come to think of it he even bounces while eating dinner most nights!


But yes another stage to enjoy....

You just completely described my 5 yo DS, its spooky cause that IS him!! WOW!! Even the getting more revved up before bed! My dh says he can tell when its almost bedtime cause DS starts going on hyperdrive, just running around non stop!!!

I find I also have to make sure he is focusing on me and making eye contact before I ask him to do something, he lives in his own world most of the time!!! (A very imaginitive and creative world at that!!) Gradual transitioning is the key for us!!!!
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#13 of 22 Old 08-10-2006, 10:45 AM
 
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My 3yr old ds is exactly like this as well. I've chalked it up to him being a boy and well....3 years old. He has so much energy. I wish we could harvest some of that energy. I could sure use some
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#14 of 22 Old 08-10-2006, 10:52 AM
 
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My 4 yr old DS is just like that too. Lots of energy, always on the go, the more outside time the better. My mother, a teacher, said my son was normal and if I wanted to see some real hyper active kids who should be on drugs she knew a couple.

We get A LOT of grief from my husbands family about it because my in laws have a boy 2 months younger then my son who is the complete opposite. He creeps around quietly. Never says much. If his dad says something he jumps and does it immediately. Personally I think there is some abuse going on knowing my brother in law. Recently we found out he will creep quietly and wait until no one is looking and bash his little brother.
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#15 of 22 Old 08-10-2006, 01:20 PM
 
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Just wanted to chime in as another mama to an energetic 3 1/2 year old ds who doesn't listen. He will sit down and read thankfully, but otherwise bounces off the walls nonstop. Last night we ate dinner at my parents' house and he just ran around the table singing half the time. I kept getting him back into his chair, he'd sit and eat a bite and then off he'd go. Ugh. Not sure what to do about the whole eating business.

Marie-Mom to two boys and a girl.
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#16 of 22 Old 08-10-2006, 09:21 PM
 
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My ds bounces off the walls all the time too. He loves to be outside but doesn't really 'run'. It's kind of funny but the only place I can get ds to run in is.....the mall. Scares me to bits but I try to make it so he's only cruising at high speed in the main walkway (not in stores where it's easy to lose sight of him). We have a park that has wide open grassy spaces and I try (and try) to get ds to run but it maybe lasts for 10 steps. LOL.

My ds is on the autism spectrum and is his own world quite often. He LOVES acting things out (movies/books) though...to the point where it's hard to get his attention!
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#17 of 22 Old 08-11-2006, 03:29 AM
 
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I am still waiting for my 5 year old to outgrow that phase! LOL!
My 3 year old has lots of energy, but nothing compared to his brother. My 5 year old is non-stop from the minute he wakes up till the second he falls asleep.
I'm thinking it's personality!
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#18 of 22 Old 08-11-2006, 03:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teachma
While my ds will be turning 6 later this month, he WAS once a three year old boy...and very much like many of the ones you are all describing. In addition to possessing an unbelievable amount of energy, he was also oppositional, strong-willed, and often couldn't calm down. You will be interested to know that in kindergarten last year, he was a dream student in most ways (minus the slightly defiant edge he can't seem to kick). However, at home, he is still the same oppositional and "hyper" kid we have always known. He just knows when it's "serious time" ( which, by the way, apparently never happens around me). You may find your "wild child" will be much tamer when the necessity arises.
This sounds like my dd. How did I know that dd was extra active, and not just a toddler. When other parents
with children the same age kept asking me if she "was always like this". It was never a rude comment just a
curious "wow your kid never slows down huh" question. At 6 she still doesn't slow down, especially at home.
She is a really good listener at school though. She understands that there is time to run and play and "get it all
out" and times to listen to the teacher. At home though she is always running, always jumping, climbing.

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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#19 of 22 Old 08-30-2006, 09:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teachma
While my ds will be turning 6 later this month, he WAS once a three year old boy...and very much like many of the ones you are all describing. In addition to possessing an unbelievable amount of energy, he was also oppositional, strong-willed, and often couldn't calm down. You will be interested to know that in kindergarten last year, he was a dream student in most ways (minus the slightly defiant edge he can't seem to kick). However, at home, he is still the same oppositional and "hyper" kid we have always known. He just knows when it's "serious time" ( which, by the way, apparently never happens around me). You may find your "wild child" will be much tamer when the necessity arises.
]

Oh my gosh! That is SO my son! He's five and just like all the posts including your description, as well as negative, and very pesty.

I was SO scared about him starting kindergarten, but he's great there!

Now why does that drvie me even crazier!!??

I came across this thread while searching for ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) sigh... I want to *fix* him!!
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#20 of 22 Old 08-31-2006, 11:20 AM
 
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I bet it's just his age. It's probably just a phase for him and he'll grow out of it. If he never showed signs of being this way before now then that's probably what it is. My oldest child was never hyper, always a very laid back boy. My youngest has been hyper and easily agitated, stubborn, strong willed since she was born. I just know that's how she is year after year - no matter how old she gets. She is on the go from the moment she wakes until she goes to bed at night, seriously until her head hits the pillow.

It still doesn't mean you shouldn't cut back on the amount of sugar in his diet or sodas/fruit drinks if you allow those. Alot of children can get hyper just from foods they consume and it can sometimes be a food that you wouldn't necessarily think could cause them to be hyper.

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#21 of 22 Old 08-31-2006, 05:40 PM
 
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My son is like this too. He has SOOOOO much energy and he is constantly moving all day long. He's also quite the talker--as in non-stop all day long (and he talks in his sleep too!). People are amazed by his energy and how much he talks

I've wondered what he will be like in school too--it's good to hear stories like teachma and lovelee!!
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#22 of 22 Old 08-31-2006, 05:52 PM
 
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I once taught a preschool class that consisted entirely of three year old boys. Ten three year old boys, and me. Wow. It was an, er, exhausting year (but also incredibly wonderful, too). Your son sounds very typical and normal. I'd try pushing bedtime back (aka make it earlier). The going into hyperdrive sounds like he's getting overtired and overstimulated. Also, the more exercise you can get him, the better. Try to go to the park/ playground every day. Running laps, races, wrestling, long walks (baby in sling), swimming, gymnastics (could you get a trampoline? or a large mattress in the house on the floor? There are some cool jumpolenes that are pretty safe from Hearthsong), just plain outside time? Don't know how your house is set up, but we don't have carpet, so we got my 2.5 yr old dd a scooter board and a small tricycle she uses in the house. Balls and bean bags, hula hoops for jumping in and out of, throwing contests, yoga and motor skills/ dance dvds, and a huge slide/ bridge thing we built. My kids climb the steps, slide down the slide, crawl under it, etc for literally hours. It can be hard to figure out ways to get them the exercise they need, but it is SO worth it. Otherwise they will literally be swinging from the curtains..... I also have a tough time with the heat, so I've scouted out gymnastics studios that have open gym times for trampolines/ bars, space to run around on.
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