7 year old with very mean teacher, what do I do?!!! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
sweetangelbrynlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: America
Posts: 551
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
My 7 year old is in the first grade at a public school and does not like her teacher. I happened to have had the SAME teacher as her in the same grade as her 20 years ago when I was 6. She is still teaching! And not really even old. She is very hateful and sarcastic with the kids. I hated her when I had her, I mean I just hated her! She used to tell me I was nasty, when someone would tell on me for doing silly kid things. Like once I was drawing on myself and someone told on me and this same teacher told me "that's because she is a nasty, disgusting little girl" I still remember this and it still hurts.

I never let on to my DD that this teacher was mean, never told her a bad thing about her.

So, now DD is coming to me telling me means things this teacher does and says. We were in a terrible car accident in May, where my DD recieved a head injury, my husbands arm was amputated (they saved his arm, no use) anyways, dd saw my husbands arm off after the accident and had a head injury too (shes fine now, just needed lots of staples) but all this has caused my DD to have some serious anxiety issues, Im thinking maybe she has some sort of panic disorder. She is in therapy.

Here is the story my dd told me, my dd is a very honest child and would never ever lie.
So.. this teacher stapled the kids papers at the end of the day she handed dd her stapled papers and my dd reached for them and realized that one of the staples wasnt fully in the paper and had the sharp end sticking out which stuck into her finger and was bleeding, my dd ran frantically back up to the teachers desk and told her. My dd told me that she was very scared that she saw blood and felt her heart racing about it My dd said she told the teacher "look, please help me, the staple stuck in me and made me bleed, please help!" The teacher stood up and yelled (as my dd said) and said
very loudly "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? CALL 911?????????? She then told everyone "I THINK WERE GOING TO HAVE TO CALL 911 BECAUSE M GOT HER POOR WITTLE FINGER HURT BOO HOO" My dd says all the kids started laughing. Edited to add this the teacher ended up telling dd to go sit back down and lick her finger clean! She said "just lick the tip of your finger and sit down"

My dd came home telling me all of this in tears. She told me when she cut her finger and saw blood that she was terrified and felt dizzy and her heart raced and she was scared and the teacher didn't care. Just embarassed her.

Also earlier before this dd said they had a fire drill and while outside a boy took his elbow and elbowed her in her side and she felt like she couldnt breathe he did it so hard, she ran up to the teacher and told her. The teacher yelled "well he might have done that but your being annoying for tattling so you BOTH go to the back of the line"

Im VERY VERY upset about the way the teacher handles thing and even more upset that she embarasses my dd. I mean I am so upset that I want to call her up and tell her off (i wont though) What I am going to do is call her and try to be civil and work this out.

My dd comes home so sad everyday. This teacher is always doing something! It's the same as it was 20 years ago for me when I was in her class in the first grade.

How should my conversation go? I want to be snarky so bad and tell her that I don't appreciate her embarassing my dd about the 911 thing!

Tell me how should I approach her about this? What should I say?

my kids are 10, 7, and 4. i'm due any day now
sweetangelbrynlie is offline  
#2 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:15 PM
 
mata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: savasana
Posts: 4,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't even speak to this teacher (what a horrid, horrid person!) -I'd document the incident in writing and report it to the principal. I'd also obtain a letter from the therapist that your daughter is in treatment for anxiety because of her trauma and give that to the principal. Adult on child bullying is no more acceptable than child on child bullying! This horrible teacher is creating the dynamic where other children in class now have permission to pick on your dd, since the teacher does it herself. I would demand the principal follow up with me about how they intend to discipline this teacher-this sort of thing is completely unacceptable! to you and your daughter!

oh, and I forgot to say in my anger that I would also tell the principal that I expected my daughter to be transfered to a new teacher immediately.

You could also approach other parents in the class to see if they've had similar problems-then you could all sign a letter together.
mata is offline  
#3 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:19 PM
 
embers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somewhere in Oregon, usually...PDX?
Posts: 1,054
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is there any way to take her out of the class, school, etc? Private school or homeschool for this year? It just sounds to me like trying to bring this to attention of the teacher could backfire on your daughter by making her even more targeted by the NASTY teacher. I remember my 5th grade teacher so clearly because she was just so mean to me... highly inapproprate... and it was DAMAGING! It breaks my heart to hear of your little girl suffering because of the teacher. She certainly is not going to be focused, confident, and accidemically excited if she is always worried about the teacher that does not like her, worried about the results of asking for help or asking a questions, etc. Homeschooling or private schooling for one year will not make a huge dent in the grand of things.. but it may make a world of difference for her self confidence and education interest.

Other than that - super intendant? Go OVER head... follow the chain of command up, not even bothering approaching the teacher herself.
embers is offline  
#4 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:26 PM
 
saphire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: WA state
Posts: 1,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Get your dd removed from her class, now. ( I personally wouldn't send my own child to her one more day).It is your parental obligation to protect your children. I assume that there is at least one other class your dd could attend so she'd have a different teacher. If the principle is unwilling to make this change for you, I suggest you consider pulling her out of school and homeschooling her, at least until other arrangement could be made. I admit I am a homeschooling mom myself, but I think keeping her in that classroom all day for the next year could cause her further emotional damage. I am sorry that your family experienced such a horrible car accident- hugs to you all. I hope you can get this school situation under control without further damage to your dd.
saphire is offline  
#5 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:28 PM
 
chel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: lost in a cornfield
Posts: 4,207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
what a sad situation. I agree, don't even try to deal with the teacher. At least switch to a new teacher. I wouldn't leave my dc is such a situation.

Crazy how the bad teachers seem to never die. dd's K teacher actually replaced her own K teacher.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
chel is offline  
#6 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:30 PM
 
doulatara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 730
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This breaks my heart! Definitely get her out of that class, and file a complaint with the board of education in your area as well as with the principal of the school. Is there another class in the 1st grade that she can join...and if not, another school nearby that she can transfer to? If it were my daughter I probably would confront the teacher myself, tell her that she completely humiliated my child and that she had no right talking to any child that way. I am sure if she is treating your dd that way, then she treats other children the same. How sad. I had a horribly mean 1st grade teacher who would humiliate me all the time...hugs to you and your family. Be sure to get her out of there; your daughter needs to know that this is not ok and not something you will tolerate. I think it is so important for our children to see us standing up for them.

Mama to A born 8/7/99
doulatara is offline  
#7 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:31 PM
 
Strong Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in love with my hubby
Posts: 2,764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I went through this with ds in 3rd grade. I actually ended up removing him from the class, though the school tried to convince me that my ds needed to *get over it* and that he would meet people in life he doesnt get along with and needed to get used to dealing with it! A 8 year old! OMG come on people! My ds is a very sensitive child and I threatened to go to the board of education if they didnt swap teachers, and they complied. Fight for your dc!

Me and my wonderful husband serve God. Blessed with twin girls 2/11/11. <3

Strong Mama is offline  
#8 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 09:58 PM
Banned
 
cool_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 101
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If I were you, then I would have her transferred out of the class immediately. Either find another teacher in the same grade or take her to another school, either public or private. When I was approaching fourth grade, there was one teacher who had a similar reputation of being a mean old lady. My mother told me that there was no way that she would let me be in that woman's class. BTW, I returned to that elementary school 15 years later, and she was still there. I guess that the mean ones last the longest. Anywho, I am hoping for hte best with dd.
cool_mom is offline  
#9 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 10:07 PM
 
embers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somewhere in Oregon, usually...PDX?
Posts: 1,054
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just a touch of support - I just pulled my son out of school because his teachers were being cruel to him. (((((((((support))))))))
embers is offline  
#10 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 10:14 PM
 
mojumi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Chesapeake Bay, EUS
Posts: 614
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ditto what everyone said about transferring to another class at the same school, a different school, or homeschooling. Also it is the school administration's job to arbitrate conflicts between parents and teachers, and you need whatever forms and paperwork rigmarole they fill out to really document what is going on. Unrecorded conversations between you and the teacher not in front of a school administrator could easily turn into 'she said-she said' and that won't help your dd.

In your documentation about the bullying way this teacher treats your dd, you might want to consider that this teacher is perhaps already prejudiced against your daughter because she knows *you* are her parent, and she is extending her bullying into the second generation on purpose. Maybe sounds paranoid or even evil, but I know a teacher in one of my schools treated my younger brother extremely poorly (until our parents withdrew him from the school entirely) because I had managed to get out of her class when I was in that grade level. Small minded retribution, unbelievable but it can make a kid's life miserable. As you know. Anyway, just the fact that the teacher is repeating the behavior she subjected you to 20 years ago might be enough to have your daughter transfered to another class.

Hugs mama! Your dd needs you to help her out! (And I would *bet* this is not the first time the school administration has heard something negative about this teacher ... )

IBCLC, LLLL, Mom to 3, obsessive baker, where's my coffee
mojumi is offline  
#11 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 10:22 PM
 
zinemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: from the fire roads to the interstate
Posts: 6,298
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Go directly to the principal and demand that a) this teacher's unprofessional and cruel behavior be addressed and b) that your child be switched immediately to another class.

Don't even talk to the teacher. Take it to the top.
zinemama is offline  
#12 of 71 Old 08-18-2006, 10:29 PM
 
alisonsvw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Just south of boston
Posts: 173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
get her OUT of there ASAP. It really is true, the old mean hag teachers never do die! Last year my son had a hag in the making for his kindergarden teacher, who told me my son ate like a slob and her aid told me he isnt creative when i said he was at home, she said he only dose what he wants when he wants...they created a serious label for my son, who btw, is not returning to that school this year, im paying for him to go to a private school where there will be 9 kids in his class. lets hope this will address my issues. cause if not, next year im on the homeschooling train.
file a complaint with EVERYONE you can about that teacher, also I have a neighbor who works in the school office and they called my sons teacher miss.hitler. scarey huh?
alisonsvw is offline  
#13 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 09:44 AM
 
Roar's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 4,419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree - get her out. Homeschool if necessary. If you do go to talk to the principal I think you need to offer as many specific examples as you can and make it clear that especially given your daughter's anxieties she can't function in this classroom. I'd say to get any kid out of there but especially with a kid with anxiety this isn't optional or negotiable. It has to happen and now.
Roar is offline  
#14 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 10:03 AM
 
papercranegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 484
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Absolutely take her out. Call the principal immediately about the unprofessional behavior of this teacher. If the principal is unwilling to cooperate go to the school board. If the board is uncooperative, round up all the parents you know and petition to have this teacher removed from the classroom.

In our district a child can be suspended for verbal abuse and bullying. I see no reason why a teacher can't be held to the same standards.
papercranegirl is offline  
#15 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 11:00 AM
 
BathrobeGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The rural foothills of N Colorado
Posts: 5,524
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I believe that what she did to your dd is criminal! Go straight to the principal but be prepared for the teacher to lie and make everything sound like your dd fault. I bet she will lie straight to your dd face. If the principal refuses to do anything, pull her from school and go over his or her head to the school board. Make a big stink about it. Chances are if you remember her being awful and she was awful to your dd, there are lots of other parents who think she is awful too.

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
BathrobeGoddess is offline  
#16 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 11:40 AM
 
Charles Baudelaire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,882
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
How should my conversation go? I want to be snarky so bad and tell her that I don't appreciate her embarassing my dd about the 911 thing!

Tell me how should I approach her about this? What should I say?
HOMESCHOOL.

And if this is not feasible, immediately inform the principal and make a few things clear:

1. That unless she is reprimanded and a letter is put into her personnel file, you will be contacting the district administrator,

2. That you want your child transferred out of this woman's class now.
Charles Baudelaire is offline  
#17 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 01:34 PM
 
lissabob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Medford,OR
Posts: 607
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Maybe this is me, but I'd be contacting the local paper/news for them to do a human interest story on how safe their kids are while in school (ya know, tonight at 5- bullying at school- it's not what you're thinking. Some TEACHERS may be bullying your child...) With that sort of pressure the school district will be forced to take some action to get that teacher RETRAINED. She needs counselling to learn how to appropriately deal with kids. And yes, def don't send your child back until they are going into a different classroom.
lissabob is offline  
#18 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 01:44 PM
 
Elyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 443
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh that is awful. I just feel for your daughter. I would document everything, talk to the princapal and I would have her moved out of the class immedately. If you don't she will never be able to get what she needs out of the class. Your poor daughter,
Elyra is offline  
#19 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 02:32 PM
 
kewb's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,272
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You go right to the principal and tell him that your dd will be removed from that teacher immediately. You will then file an incident report with the principal and the superintendent. You have to be your childs advocate. If you do not make an issue the school will try to brush it under the rug.

Kathy-Mom to Blake & Mikaela
kewb is offline  
#20 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 02:51 PM
 
midwifetx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 627
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a horrible first grade teacher as well (a lady who was later 'comitted.' She hated children and teaching caused her to crack up) When my ds got a teacher just like her, I pulled him out and put him in another first grade class. We made a fresh start, and even got him a new backpack and lunchbox.
midwifetx is offline  
#21 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 07:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
sweetangelbrynlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: America
Posts: 551
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Okay after reading all the posted I got all fired up. I contacted the principal at home and talked with him. He says to me "weve never had a problem with Mrs. D, she has taught in our school for 21 years and is wonderful with children, perhaps your DD has other issues that is causing this?" I let him know that I wanted something done, I wanted her out of the class. He said he didn't think that was necessary.

So, what if they won't change her and the teacher finds out I called and she torments my DD all school year? Im so scared! I can't homeschool, I don't even have a highschool diploma!!

my kids are 10, 7, and 4. i'm due any day now
sweetangelbrynlie is offline  
#22 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 08:00 PM
 
Elyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 443
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If it were me, I would wait until Monday and then go speak to him in person. Tell him yes there are other issues and you are working with your daughter, but that you have thought more about it and you still want her moved, now. Do not give them the option. If you don't stick up for her no one else will. I know it must be a very difficult thing to do, but really I wouldn't let them just tell you they won't move her. Could you look at another school? I know sometimes you can switch public schools.
Elyra is offline  
#23 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 08:10 PM
 
Charles Baudelaire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,882
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie
Okay after reading all the posted I got all fired up. I contacted the principal at home and talked with him. He says to me "weve never had a problem with Mrs. D, she has taught in our school for 21 years and is wonderful with children, perhaps your DD has other issues that is causing this?" I let him know that I wanted something done, I wanted her out of the class. He said he didn't think that was necessary.

So, what if they won't change her and the teacher finds out I called and she torments my DD all school year? Im so scared! I can't homeschool, I don't even have a highschool diploma!!
First of all, please call him back or have your husband call him back. Sorry to be sexist, but he will listen to a man better than to a woman, odds are.

Please tell him the following:

1. Whether or not she's been Mother Frickin' Teresa up to this moment is IRRELEVANT.

2. The fact remains, her behavior was unprofessional and inappropriate to ANY child, and particularly so to one recently traumatized.

3. Unfortunately, unless he can possibly resolve this situation, your next step will be to inform the following individuals in writing:

a. His district supervisor, complete with a very thorough description of events,
b. The superintendent of schools, complete with same,

and

c. The news media

and

d. Lawyer (for harassment)

Then ask him this: "So...what plan do you propose for solving this problem?"

Then follow through. Please. Please. Please do not let this go.

P.S. I am a teacher. Please do not let a person like this continue in my same profession without repercussions.

Oh, and as a teacher, let me tell you this in re: homeschooling and in re: no high school diploma --

YOU CERTAINLY CAN. Teaching ain't rocket science. You know how to read, you know how to do math. Those are the biggies. You don't have to commit to twelve years; you can HS for this year and see how it goes. At the very least -- even if you teach your child *nothing at all,* your child will be better off with you than with that teacher. Please.

I'm asking this again on my bended knee. I had teachers like that when I was a kid. You did too. I remember them. You do too. I can't tell you what I would've given to have been homeschooled.

Just a thought.
Charles Baudelaire is offline  
#24 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 08:32 PM
 
oregongirlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 514
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm a public school teacher, expecting my first child. Here are some of the things I'd do or say. Don't call the principal at home any more at all. Make an appointment with him asap with whomever answers the school phone. Don't talk on the phone, go in to see him. Mention (if it's true) that you're not a parent who hassles the school for little things, that you're very serious about this and that you belive that at best this teacher and your child are a bad match. Mention that you're concerned that this relationship is damaging to her and seems like it could have long term effects which you're not sure you have the resources to repair. Above all, be calm, polite and professional. Refuse meetings with the teacher or your daughter present. Other things you can do are request to spend time observing or helping in your daughter's classroom (if you have time) to see how things are going, "to observe her in order to work with her" (but really to check up on the teacher). Put the problem back on them in the end. You could mention that this is a real problem and you're willing to be supportive, but you're not willing to pick up the pieces when your child repeatedly comes home hurt. As a parent you would rather spend your energy and time to support the teacher and school, not doing damage control. Let him know that your child will have to be removed from this class immediately, that you don't believe that he's never had problems with this teacher, and that you personally had problems with her as a child. Let him know that it is counted to your credit that you even let your child be placed in her class at all, and that you never mentioned your own childhood problems with this teacher. If he won't see you say it's an urgent and if he can't meet with you soon, you'll have to make a call to the superintendent or someone who can help you. If he meets with you but won't change her class, say something like, "Are you sure, because I'm prepared to escalate this to the superintendent." Getting through to the superintendent may be difficult (they're really, really busy) but start with a phone call saying you have tried all you can do at the school level regarding a class placement problem and you really need help. Hopefully that will get you a meeting or something. Don't give too many details to the secretary. Be moderately apologetic, that you don't want to cause trouble but you really believe this is a serious problem for your child and that you expect a resolution.
oregongirlie is offline  
#25 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 08:53 PM
 
mimim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 2,506
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I haven't been in a classroom full time for several years, but I am a teacher as well.

I do not think you should mention your experiences with this teacher. This is not about that and it will give the impression that your opinion was formed before any incidences between your daughter and this teacher occurred.

Simply insist (definitely in person, one on one with the principal) that your daughter is transferred to another classroom. Since it's the beginning of the year, it will be a very minor disruption.


And you don't need a high school diploma to homeschool. Your DD's not in high school is she?

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
mimim is offline  
#26 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 09:08 PM
 
**guest**'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: surrounded by water
Posts: 1,452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie
Okay after reading all the posted I got all fired up. I contacted the principal at home and talked with him. He says to me "weve never had a problem with Mrs. D, she has taught in our school for 21 years and is wonderful with children, perhaps your DD has other issues that is causing this?" I let him know that I wanted something done, I wanted her out of the class. He said he didn't think that was necessary.


what a terrible, maddening situation. i can't even finds words to describe how i feel. so sorry for what you are going through now, and about your accident.

you dd needs time to heal after the trauma, and it will take some time. my dd witnessed a car running over my foot 20 months ago, she was 2.5. she still talks about this. and it wasn't as traumatic as what your dd went through.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie
I can't homeschool, I don't even have a highschool diploma!!
yes you can. sure you can. anyone who wants to can homeschool. i have diplomas and degrees and honestly, none of them help me homeschooling. they do indirectly, because i maybe have the confidence, but you can build confidence in other ways. like by observing how much happier your dd will be, how much more she will learn while seemingly doing nothing. do you honestly think she will learn and retain better in school after her experiences there? and as charles boudelaire said above, even if she learns absolutely nothing (and this is an impossibility), she will be much better off.

learn about unschooling. learn together with your dd about things that interest her. do things together. have fun together. follow her lead. borrow books from the library and read with her. go to museums, science center, galleries, parks. enjoy each other. you both have been through so much.

your dd needs time to heal, both from the accident, and from the torment in school. this is your priority now. focus on her this year. she won't get 'behind' in terms of school if you decide to put her to school later and decide not to unschool. look up the requirements for her age. i am sure she can learn them in a month or two, if she doesn't know them already. think how much time in school is wasted on stupid remarks by sadistic teachers, getting everyone's attention, transitioning from activities to activities etc. whether you unschool or do school at home, she won't need to sit for 5 hours, you will be able to cover the material in 20-30 minutes. so you have lots of time to take several months off, bond with your dd, and learn about different philosophies of homeschooling and which one suits your dd and you best.

whichever you choose, i strongly suggest you use some time to deschool with her, and just let her be, considering the trauma she has been through.

**guest** is offline  
#27 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 09:17 PM
 
kitchenwitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
stuff like that makes me glad I homeschool!!! I don;t know what I would do if someone talked to my child like that!
kitchenwitch is offline  
#28 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 09:38 PM
 
meisterfrau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
As a teacher myself, I will echo what others have said...don't call, go there and talk to him face to face. This is MUCH more effective. IME it's a lot harder for administrators to blow you off/not take concerns seriously if you show up. Being hauled into a conference with an administrator and a parent is also often all it takes to get a teacher to behave from that point on with your DC, so I wouldn't necessarily refuse if the principal suggests it. Also, I agree that you sure can homeschool her, for all the reasons others have mentioned.

I had a nasty first grade teacher. And a nasty second grade teacher. And a nasty fourth grade teacher. And a nasty fifth grade teacher. And a nasty seventh grade math teacher...I had a terrible attitude toward school by the time I was in high school, and no wonder! No one stood up for me to these teachers, and I sure wish they had. My DD is only 19mo, but I will not make the same mistake my mother did and just let it slide. These early experiences will have such a great impact on how your daughter looks at school for the rest of her time there. You're doing the right thing. Keep your resolve!
meisterfrau is offline  
#29 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 09:42 PM
 
mata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: savasana
Posts: 4,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie
He says to me "weve never had a problem with Mrs. D, she has taught in our school for 21 years and is wonderful with children, perhaps your DD has other issues that is causing this?"
behhh! WRONG ANSWER!

He should have said he would investigate the matter-the response he gave you speaks volumes about how dysfunctional this particular school probably is. Clearly the administration protects and enables a bad teacher to do the damage she's doing, and blames the victim. It is his obligation and his job to treat this incident seriously!

I'd proceed as Charles Baudelaire suggested. I had a bad incident with my 7th grade principal, and my parents came and pulled me out of school that day and took it as high as they could go. The principal was transfered out of the school within two years. Some people just do not belong in those jobs and this woman sounds like she should be offered "retirement!"
mata is offline  
#30 of 71 Old 08-19-2006, 09:48 PM
 
Maple Leaf Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Over the edge and into the abyss
Posts: 2,318
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I haven't read all of the replies.
But she sounds like a vile person who should be fired as a teacher.
Let me explain why I feel this way. I'm sure you will understand.

When I was in grade 4, my mum died. I took a week off. Then back at it.
My teacher was very mean to me.
I was having problems adjusting and concentrating.
My dad was also mentally and physically abusive to me.
I had (and still do) have terrible problems with math.
This woman would keep me back from recess, gym, art--you name it-so I would finish work.
2 weeks after my mum died, she told me that unless I finished my math homework while everyone else was in gym, I couldn't participate in the May day -may pole dance-which grade 4's did every year.
I cried the whole time.
She belittled me and was very mean the rest of the year.

I'm 35 now and told my dad about all this a couple of years ago. I cried like a baby. (and called her the C word)

All this to say that this byotche can have long term implications for your DD's self esteem and mental health.
IMO she is either having-or is on the edge of having panick attacks.
BTDT.
This wicked woman without an ounce of empathy needs to be talked TO by her headmaster.
Does the school have a psychologist that could break down your DD's issues in bite sized chunks for this woman to understand?
Or could that cause more ridicule for your DD?

The fact that she was like this 20 years ago-and still like this makes me nuts.
How many kids has she turned off of school?
AAARGH-can you tell this is bringing up issues for me??

BTW-whenever I go to school functions-she is there. She used to be the head of junior school for a while. She tried to speak to me and I turned and walked away.
I shopuld have had the ovaries to tell her my feelings.

Sorry. I'll stop now.
Whatever you decide-make sure there is someone else there to witness everything!
Maple Leaf Mama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off