3 year old crying when left at preschool--why isn't this CIO? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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#91 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 01:53 AM
 
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I just skimmed the whole thread and couldn't agree more with Scubamama, Dolphin, et. al. I don't see this as a "mommy war" because the OP is a SAHM so I am under the impression we are only talking about this issue in the context of someone who doesn't have to leave her child there.

And just to be more specific about our situation: The first few days he went to preschool, ds1 was totally fine. No problem with me walking out the door. The second week I came back to get him and he was hysterical. His teachers said that about 10 minutes previously he had just erupted into tears for no apparent reason, and he was shaking and crying so badly I couldn't hear what he was saying. After that he did not want me to leave. We talked a lot about me not leaving until he told me he was ready, which he did after about 6 weeks.
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#92 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 09:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by oceanbaby
I just skimmed the whole thread and couldn't agree more with Scubamama, Dolphin, et. al. I don't see this as a "mommy war" because the OP is a SAHM so I am under the impression we are only talking about this issue in the context of someone who doesn't have to leave her child there.

And just to be more specific about our situation: The first few days he went to preschool, ds1 was totally fine. No problem with me walking out the door. The second week I came back to get him and he was hysterical. His teachers said that about 10 minutes previously he had just erupted into tears for no apparent reason, and he was shaking and crying so badly I couldn't hear what he was saying. After that he did not want me to leave. We talked a lot about me not leaving until he told me he was ready, which he did after about 6 weeks.
I think this is great! I am completely for a mama being in tune with her child and guiding them through the experience. I think the issue that there is disagreement on is the very esoteric and personal call of when to leave and what constitutes 'abandonment'. Presumably we all deeply care and love our children. The thing that pushes my buttons is when people state that no three year old should ever go to preschool or that somehow those who do choose to send their child to preschool are being selfish.

It is a mommy war when one person decides what is best for all children and places that standard on everyone; thus making someone 'right' and everyone else 'wrong'. I have repeatedly stated that there is a transition for some kids and if the child isn't transitioning that there needs to be a plan change. How we transition our kids, even in an AP context is going to be subjective.

I just feel a bit misunderstood. No one should make a mama and child seperate and I didn't read one post that suggested that a child should be ditched and abandoned...then again that is going to be a matter of interperation.
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#93 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 01:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by scubamama
Do you mean Captain Optimism? Captain Crunchy's dd is too young for preschool. :

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ETA: Jennisee is in charge of my fan club.....apparently.
Apparently I'm confused, too! Yep, Captain Optimism.
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#94 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 01:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by saritabeth
I just feel a bit misunderstood. No one should make a mama and child seperate and I didn't read one post that suggested that a child should be ditched and abandoned...then again that is going to be a matter of interperation.
No one on this thread has literally said, "Ditch your child," or, "Abandon your child." However, some people have said, "It's ok for a parent to leave a crying 3 year old at preschool," and even, "Three year olds need to be taught to be separated from their parent." The people who are responding to these statements aren't trying to lie and say that people are literally suggesting abandonment, but rather that it goes against the idea of letting a child develop at his own pace without being forced into situations before he is ready. At least, that's how I've understood it.

I adamantly believe that children naturally reach a point where they are fine with separations from their parents, when they are developmentally and emotionally ready, and that they do NOT need to be taught this. However, I understand that we don't agree on this.
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#95 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 02:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jennisee
No one on this thread has literally said, "Ditch your child," or, "Abandon your child." However, some people have said, "It's ok for a parent to leave a crying 3 year old at preschool," and even, "Three year olds need to be taught to be separated from their parent." The people who are responding to these statements aren't trying to lie and say that people are literally suggesting abandonment, but rather that it goes against the idea of letting a child develop at his own pace without being forced into situations before he is ready. At least, that's how I've understood it.

I adamantly believe that children naturally reach a point where they are fine with separations from their parents, when they are developmentally and emotionally ready, and that they do NOT need to be taught this. However, I understand that we don't agree on this.






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#96 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 02:26 PM
 
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Me too! I've just been following this thread now because so many are saying what I feel so much more eloquently than I could. But I totally agree with you Jennisee.
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#97 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 02:59 PM
 
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well, clearly we have a symantics problem. It is impossible to convay real emotion or nuances in children's personalities or parenting styles.

What I hear people saying is that if your child is scared or afraid you should protect them from those feelings until they are old enough to not feel that way. If I am misunderstanding you please correct what I taking away from this discussion. I am not trying to be snarky, but I can not get behind a philosophy like that (if I am correct in my understanding of this thread). Fear of seperation and lonliness is not something that is going to be overcome with Attachment parenting, it is a condition of humanity. There are a million reasons to practice an AP parenting style, but that isn't one of em.

for example, my oldest is sensitive to a lot of things (as am I). I think we have done a very good job of helping her articulate her feelings on things and being respectful of when she is overwhelmed or not ready for a new situation or whatever.

She is very frightened of the sound of airplanes. She used to cry and cry when she heard the sound. Instead of writing off her fears or giving into them we talked about it. I held her, nursed her, nurtured her. I explained what the sound was, I showed her the planes, I told her they would not hurt her that it is only a sound that will go away once the plane passes. She now says "airplane noise!" and goes about whatever it was she was doing...because we addressed the fears with her and showed her she would be okay.

To me preschool could be like this for her. Indeed, I did pull her out of one situation because she was unhappy...In fact she was only there 5 minutes before I relized it wasn't a good fit for her. But you know, in a better setting she thrived and had fun. Maybe everyone elses children are just more advanced and they never have fears over anything...but I highly doubt this is the case. I know I am nearly 30 and I still have fears...because that is life. You work through them with the people you love, you don't avoid things because you are initially uncomfortable or unsure. If we all functioned like that none of us would ever take any risks. By no means to you push a child to do something they are not ready for. But In my not so humble opinion, a few tears the first day of preschool isn't always a deep seeded fear that indicates the child isn't ready, nor is it something to be ignored.
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#98 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 03:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by saritabeth
What I hear people saying is that if your child is scared or afraid you should protect them from those feelings until they are old enough to not feel that way. If I am misunderstanding you please correct what I taking away from this discussion. I am not trying to be snarky, but I can not get behind a philosophy like that (if I am correct in my understanding of this thread). Fear of seperation and lonliness is not something that is going to be overcome with Attachment parenting, it is a condition of humanity. There are a million reasons to practice an AP parenting style, but that isn't one of em.
No, that's not what I am saying. You are absolutely right that fear and lonliness are a condition of humanity and will never disappear. It is my belief that children naturally reach a point where they understand the fear and are able to deal with it, that they don't have to be forced to reach this point. I do not believe that if I refuse to leave my crying child at preschool that she will be unable to go to college by herself. I just can't believe that.

I'll try to articulate by giving an example with my own daughter. When she was an infant, she was terrified of my MIL. She cried any time MIL tried to hold her, and we had no idea why. My MIL wanted us to "fix this problem" by letting her babysit alone. She said that we needed to let my DD cry with her, that my DD needed to be taught that she shouldn't be scared of Grandma, and that Mommy would eventually come home. We absolutely refused. I knew that my DD would naturally mature to a point where she would no longer be afraid of my MIL. Our solution was to have my MIL visit often while we we were there, and then to allow my MIL to accompany my FIL when he babysat (my DD adored my FIL)--not to leave her to cry alone with MIL. After a while, she was no longer scared of her, and after a few months, my DD loved spending an afternoon alone with Grandma. Now, when I take my two-year-old DD with me to work in my in-laws' garden, she says, "Bye mom" and walks up to the house alone to look for my MIL.

Please notice that I am not saying that I have never been separated from my DD. I don't believe in that. I also don't believe in being her only caretaker. I believe in having an extended "family" of people who help care for her. But I believe in doing it when she is ready, not when I decide it's time to force her.

I hope I've explained myself a bit more. I do agree with much of what you've said. I think we just disagree on whether children reach the point of readiness for separation on their own or whether they must be "taught" to be ready.
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#99 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 03:48 PM
 
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I still have fears...because that is life. You work through them with the people you love
This we can agree on. However, the discussion is about a "3 year old crying when LEFT at preschool".


The difference is whether the child is "WITH the people you LOVE". I am not advocating "protect", nor "leave" the child. The child is *supported* by being "WITH the people you LOVE". Attachment needs are not something to be "overcome", but they can be honored, regarded and supported. Or not. And I firmly believe that fear of separation and lonliness are NOT conditions of humanity. I am sad to hear that you feel this way. It is how I felt as a child too: alone. Ultimately, I learned that I could Trust. And I learned that humanity is an interdependent and connected experience, not a lonely, separated one. That is the humanity that I want to honor in our son, dh, friends, family and community.

I trust that as a connected being, I can take risks without fear. I am reminded of the ladder analogy. A child tests the "rungs" of trust and if he keeps having to retest whether he can rely on the trust, he can't climb as high. If the rungs are always there when he needs them, he can trust that he will be supported. Trust that you are not alone comes from the experience of being supported. One can also grow to "know" that they can only rely on themself, which sounds like a lonely and separate experience of humanity. I have experienced that; but prefer the connectedness of being in interdependent relationships.

A child isn't limited by having support available when *he* feels uncomfortable; what recourse does a child have when "left withOUT people you love"? I don't believe that anyone is suggesting this alternative, but what does the child experience when left crying at the preschool? The whole issue is the parent is not there to be attuned and support his experience. I firmly believe that children naturally reach a point where they are fine with separations from their parents, when they are developmentally and emotionally ready, and that they do NOT need to be taught this.

Our son comfortably stays overnight away from us. Visits friends without me and we have frequent playdates with many groups. Ds was ready when he was ready, not on any school's schedule.







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#100 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 03:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by saritabeth

You work through them with the people you love, you don't avoid things because you are initially uncomfortable or unsure. If we all functioned like that none of us would ever take any risks. .
Bravo! I agree. Children benefit when parents help them work through stuff like you did with your daughter and the airplane noise.
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#101 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 05:08 PM
 
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I am 100% on board with scubamom, Jennisee, etc. My dd has been going to preschool 2 days a week, 3 hours a day since she was 2, however if she had been crying or uncomfortable, I would absolutely not have left her. In fact I stayed with her the entire first day just to make sure she was comfortable with the situation, because I did have concerns about whether she was ready. It was a huge change for her and I was not comfortable leaving her to deal with it and figure it out on her own when she didn't know these people.

My younger DD (as Jennisee can atest to, she has met her, LOL) is VERY much dependent on me. She can be left with about 1 person... my husband. Anyone else causes her to stress out and she gets very upset. She is only 22 months now and I assume she will outgrow it much as my older daughter did. But if she doesnt do it at 2 like my older DD did, I will wait for her to be ready. I can't expect her to trust me and feel comfortable with being seperated from me if I don't pay attention to and respond to help eliminate her feelings and fears.
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#102 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 09:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by saritabeth
well, clearly we have a symantics problem. It is impossible to convay real emotion or nuances in children's personalities or parenting styles.

What I hear people saying is that if your child is scared or afraid you should protect them from those feelings until they are old enough to not feel that way. If I am misunderstanding you please correct what I taking away from this discussion. I am not trying to be snarky, but I can not get behind a philosophy like that (if I am correct in my understanding of this thread). Fear of seperation and lonliness is not something that is going to be overcome with Attachment parenting, it is a condition of humanity. There are a million reasons to practice an AP parenting style, but that isn't one of em.
No, I'm not saying they should be protected from those feelings. What I am saying is that they shouldn't have to deal with those feelings by themselves, without their parents or those adults who love them and with whom the child feels comfortable and safe.
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#103 of 113 Old 08-25-2006, 09:36 PM
 
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And the airplane analogy is exact my point. You were with there with her to guide her through her fears and hesitations about airplane noises. You didn't put her in a room full of airplane noises, to be watched over by a very nice total stranger, and then leave so she could deal with getting over her fears without you. You stayed with her, talked her through it, and guided her through her fears. That's exactly what I think is the appropriate way to handle a preschool transition, not leave a child in distress to figure it out themselves.
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#104 of 113 Old 08-26-2006, 01:52 AM
 
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all I know is that I totally regret sending my son to preschool in the "3s" class when he was 2 1/2. He was not ready and I knew it and yet I kept him there.

I don't understand why preschool is now standard protocol when, when I was five years old, not everyone went to kindergarten even.

anyway... be sensitive to your child, and listen, and try to keep his needs in mind above and beyond what society tells you what you should do.

I wish I had not sent my son to preschool.
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#105 of 113 Old 08-26-2006, 01:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UrbanPlanter
all I know is that I totally regret sending my son to preschool in the "3s" class when he was 2 1/2. He was not ready and I knew it and yet I kept him there.

I don't understand why preschool is now standard protocol when, when I was five years old, not everyone went to kindergarten even.

anyway... be sensitive to your child, and listen, and try to keep his needs in mind above and beyond what society tells you what you should do.

I wish I had not sent my son to preschool.
I agree. Non of my kids have been to preschool, but then again, I am able to stay home with them fulltime, and I make up my own curriculum, so it's the same as them going to preschool. With my first daughter, I could have sent her to preschool by the age of 2 she has always been SUPER independent, but DD#2, no way at 3 could I send her. Every child is sooo different, and I agree with PP, just listen to your kids' cues.

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#106 of 113 Old 08-26-2006, 01:21 PM
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all I know is that I totally regret sending my son to preschool in the "3s" class when he was 2 1/2. He was not ready and I knew it and yet I kept him there.

I don't understand why preschool is now standard protocol when, when I was five years old, not everyone went to kindergarten even.

anyway... be sensitive to your child, and listen, and try to keep his needs in mind above and beyond what society tells you what you should do.

I wish I had not sent my son to preschool.
I absolutely agree with you. It should be a case-by-case decision. I went to preschool...nursery school, they called it way back in the olden days...and loved it! I have nothing but fond memories of the things I did and my wonderful teacher, who is now nearing 80.

BUT....I don't think it should be the "norm" and an expected ritual of childhood. It should be something that a child does because they want to and are ready. At least that is the ideal. I feel for moms who work and may not have a choice about when to start preschool....
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#107 of 113 Old 08-26-2006, 02:28 PM
 
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This has been very interesting. I think we agree on a lot more than maybe it seems. I don't think every child should be in preschool, nor do I think it is harmful for every kid...I think we all agree on that. My child is supposed to do a 2 year old play time starting soon, but I am up in the air as to whether or not she will be participating. We shall see how it goes. Clearly I wouldn't leave her frightened among strangers. I too take the trust she places in me seriously.

As far as lonliness and fear of seperation being part of the human condition...I do really believe that. Thousands of years of literature, music, story telling and the desire for community and social structure can't be wrong on that one. Why do we long for a group to belong to? Why do we seek out partners for life? Im sure many of us here sought out MDC because our parenting isn't 'mainstream' and its nice to be among people who are like minded.

anyway...its nice to see discussion like this...I have to say, it stayed pretty friendly :P
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#108 of 113 Old 08-26-2006, 11:35 PM
 
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I'm late to this discussion but just wanted to add that if your little one stops crying when you are out of sight, it doesn't mean they're not still hurting like crazy.

My Mum always left me at playgroup (as it was) with a firm goodbye and then would peek in through the window and see that I wasn't crying anymore, after she was out of sight. What she couldn't see was that inside myself I was too scared to keep crying once my Mummy had gone, because it just made me the centre of attention and I couldn't cope with that. My memories of playgroup are of two years spent sitting in a corner frightened so much that I almost couldn't bear it, and the panic every morning when I realised she was leaving me there again was unbearable.

By the time I went to school I was still unhappy about being left but more able to cope with it and get on with the day, but playgroup was torture and anyone who tells you your child is fine just because they stop crying after you've left is missing an awful lot of information about the way kids work.
If you can watch your child, and you know how they normally behave, and you can see that they're happy and behaving normally after you've gone then thats great, but you certainly shouldn't take a nursery workers word for it that they're ok, because not every quiet child is a happy child and the nursery workers will have no clue how to read inside your child the way you can.
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#109 of 113 Old 08-27-2006, 12:10 AM
 
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I never post here but wth I figure

My son turned 3 in July and I'm a sahm/wahm now for 6 years. I am sending him to preschool. GASP - horrible mother! Why should any 3yo be in school? You've not met my son . The whole POINT of AP is reading YOUR OWN CHILDs cues and knowing what you need to do to be the best mama to YOUR OWN CHILD . Imho only of course.

My daughters are turning 17 and turning 6.
With the oldest I was a single mother and staying home with her was not an option. I was with my 6yo dd til she started public kindergarten, she was homeschooled for preK since I do homedaycare and did beautifully. She couldn't wait to go to school like big sister, had no transition issues and never had honestly. Soon as she could walk she'd go to sunday school class at church with a big smile and a wave.

My son is velcro boy. He has transition issues. He also has some speech/language issues. He "needs" in my opinion the structure of a preschool setting. He cries for 2 minutes when we leave him in sundayschool class and when we peek in the window when he stops he's smiling, interacting and coloring or running around after the other kids like a happy normal kid.
I also do homedaycare. I have a 4yo since he was 2 . For the first year he'd cry every day when mama left. I'd hug him and tell him mama would be back in just a bit and then we'd go into the playroom and play and he was fine - within minutes. Not fine like I don't know that he was actually terrified and clamming up and unable to share his fear - fine as in giggling his head off, telling me stories about his night with his parents and asking if we could do playdough now instead of after lunch fine. Same with the 18mo I watch now twice a week - he cries some days and others he doesn't. On the days he cries his mama kisses him, tells him she'll be back in just a bit and leaves. She calls me from the car outside my driveway to hear that he has indeed stopped crying and is playing happily which by the time she gets in her car and hits my number on speed dial - he is. He loves being here. He plays with the other children. He dances and he giggles and he is absolutely a darling kid who hates when his mom leaves. I understand that. Most kids hate when mama has to leave but for some folks - not working outside the home is not an option. I know this as I was a single mama with my oldest - I had no choice but to work. So in some cases, its just the dang truth and folks need to quit judging and deal with that.

My son is my son. I know him better then you or anyone else could. I'm sure the OP knows her son better then any of us can even think we know him lol.
She knows if he will sincerely benefit from a preschool program. I'm sure, like me, she's checked out several. We chose the church program at our home church since he knows the room - he goes there every sunday. I love their philosophy, their curriculum and their gentle nature. The teachers did a home visit and brought him a book of pictures of the school and things he'll do at school. The first day I'll stay with him the entire 2.5 hours. The next time he'll go alone. Its 2.5 hours a day, two days a week. I believe he is BORED here with me and 2 daycare babies (and I can't not have daycare babies or I would have to go to work full time outside the home or we'd lose our house).
He needs someone actively working on speech with him - other then me. He needs to be around children his own age. He will benefit from a bit of separation from me and daddy - not like i'm putting him in daycare 40 hours a week.
I believe it will be good for both of us for him to have other outside activities other then an hour at the library once a week, an hour at the park three times a week, the zoo once a month etc.

But what I believe isn't what you or someone else believes - and thats ok.

To the OP I'll just say that in my opinion if your child cries for a few minutes (not more then 5) with a teacher hugging him telling him mama will be back soon, redirecting him to an activity and then he has a BLAST for the next 2 hours and 25 minutes - its really ok. and its not cio

then again. I stopped coming to MDC for so long because I'm too mainstream.
lol
Bfing, cosleeping, clothdiapering, nonvaxing and all that doesn't seem to 'count' when your kids are over 3 and things are changing. I don't homeschool. My kids need to be ready for kindergarten cuz when they start I'll be working full time to get our sorry butts out of this huge whole sahm'ing has created lol. Totally worth it - but I will need to help dig us out when its over.

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#110 of 113 Old 08-27-2006, 09:40 AM
 
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I just wanted to post my personal experience. I was a very highly sensitive child.... My mom put me in preschool at age 3. The first year was a couple days a week and my mom said on the first day of school the teacher had to take me from my mothers arms screaming. I dont remember it. All I remember about that school is how much I liked it. I remember the color fruits on the wall, the playroom, doing art and the playground. I remember some of my friends and playing a marching game, etc etc..... Fast forward to another preschool, again she left me crying... I dont remember it, I do however rememberr tons of fun and wonderful things about it. I LOVED school so much, despite being a very sensitive child. I went to a small catholic school for 10 years (preschool through 8th grade). I was still very attached to my mother, so much so that as a teenager, as a senior in high school i would still climb in my mothers lap and cuddle!!!

When i went to high school i was MISERABLE. It was terrible. It was a small catholic high school.. there were about 500 kids... but i was coming from a school where each class had 20 or less kids.. so maybe 200 kids.. It took me about half the year to adjust, I begged my mom to let me homeschool. But Im very glad she didnt. I cried every morning before I went to school... it was terrible..... but eventually I made friends. I found my way and I did very well. I had a great counciler at school and I ended up having a great time in high school and Im so glad I didnt miss out on that.

For college I opted out of a four year college and going away and did a community college instead.

To this day I believe Im more extroverted because of my experience in school and truly believe that if I had been allowed to stay home (which really wasnt an option as a child bc my mom had to work) I would have continued to stay very introverted and probably would be a hermit type of person. I have learned how to cope with change and work through my initial anxiety to new situations and dont think I would have learned that otherwise....

then again, I did not scream and cry every day the whole time ......... but i can check of 17 off the things on the highly sensitive child list that described me as a child....

i have two kids. My 5 year old went to preschool, never cried and loved it... begs during the summer to go to school...

my dd is almost 3 and starts preschool this fall. .she is real sensitive and im nervous for her. I intend to leave her if she cries.. but I wont continue if she does not adjust after a few weeks.
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#111 of 113 Old 08-27-2006, 10:29 AM
 
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(Jumping in a bit late here)
I have just started the exact same process -
put my 3 yo dd into a preschool, it is run by a friend of ours, there are a max of 10 children with 3 grown-ups. they serve organic food and back their own bread, they only have wooden and natural toys, no TV, no punishments, and no "schedule" for nap-time or meal-time or story-time or whatever - the kids are free to do what they like when they like and join in or not with activities the grown-ups organise. Also it's non-academic - they dont "teach" anything and they dont separate age-groups - the kids are mixed from age 15 months to 5 years.

Anyway, my dd just started going there, 2x a week 4 hours each time.
and there is NO WAY that I would leave her there if she was crying or if she asked me not to leave her. if she would cry and ask to go home, one of the grown-ups would offer her comfort and ask her if she wants to phone me to come and get her, and I would come immediately.

Anyway, it wasnt an issue - dd didnt cry at all, the first day she went she was a *little* clingy, but after the first 1/2 hour, she was happy to say "bye" to me and we've never had a problem. one time (after dd hadn't slept well the night before) they called me to say she wanted to go home.

So I'm fully in the position of not leaving my dd (or any child) to cry. I try to put myself into dd's position. if she were going somewhere and I wanted her to stay with me, I would expect her to do it. Same if my dh were going out and I w'm feeling really needy and that I dont want him to leave. I'll as him to stay with me a bit longer, and he will. Our children deserve the same respect.

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#112 of 113 Old 08-27-2006, 10:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by majikfaerie
(
Anyway, it wasnt an issue - dd didnt cry at all, the first day she went she was a *little* clingy, but after the first 1/2 hour, she was happy to say "bye" to me and we've never had a problem. one time (after dd hadn't slept well the night before) they called me to say she wanted to go home.
See, this is why I posted. You can't tell until you try whether your child can reap the considerable benefits of preschool or whether she is going to freak out and feel abandoned, until you try.

Why do I say "considerable benefits"? If a child is ready, it's a chance to try a lot of fun things that he or she just can't do at home. Getting along in a group of kids, getting to know and form relationships with other adults--if the kid is ready, it's all a lot of fun! For my child, the chance to be with the same children all the time was a great antidote to his native reserve and shyness. He got a chance to get to know them and feel comfortable.

I wasn't able to ensure that he saw the same children every day at the park or whatever. We would go to the park, he would see the kids and look at them with interest, and not even go play with them in parallel. When they approached him, he was too intimidated to play with them. But he was able to make those connections with the preschool kids, because he sees them all the time.

I did provide a lot of experiences at home that prepared him for this. For example, we went to a structured playgroup where a parent or other adult accompanied each child. (It was always me or my husband, except once we sent him with an adult friend--which he really liked.) We've also continued to nurse and co-sleep and hit the library together and go to our Jewish community and stuff like that.

i just don't think every child is going to cry. You put in the hours building them up with nursing, hugging, co-sleeping, and generally being physically close and responding to their needs. You know you will respond to their needs around this, too. You have put in more time getting to know this person than practically anyone! So why not try it?

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#113 of 113 Old 08-27-2006, 06:35 PM
 
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adding that my son went to sundayschool today for the first time ever totally happy. He ran to the room y elling "i'm a big boy. I go to school by myself today". He kissed me and went in and kissed his teacher and sat down to color .No tears. No signs at all of being unhappy. I have no doubt he'll have a wonderful experience in preschool there when it starts in two weeks. Again, you know your child and what he needs. Trust in yourself.
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