Let's Discuss Forcing Children To Eat - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-23-2006, 10:39 PM
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Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
But she posted that because that particular poster has accused her of starving her ds...so it's understandable.
No, she was not accused of starving her child. It was pointed out that she was controlling her child's food intake, which is just as bad as force feeding a child.
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Old 08-23-2006, 10:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
But she posted that because that particular poster has accused her of starving her ds...so it's understandable.
Unfortunately, your post perpetuates Tripmom's misrepresentation. No one accused Tripmom of starving her child. The clearly articulated concern is advocating withholding food from a three year old for extended periods of time in order to 'teach a lesson' as a consequence of refusing dinner.

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Old 08-23-2006, 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted by scubamama
Unfortunately, your post perpetuates Tripmom's misrepresentation. No one accused Tripmom of starving her child. The clearly articulated concern is advocating withholding food from a three year old for extended periods of time in order to 'teach a lesson' as a consequence of refusing dinner.
Pat
Yes, that is exactly how it went down.
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Old 08-23-2006, 10:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by scubamama
Unfortunately, your post perpetuates Tripmom's misrepresentation.
Wow, that is unfortunate. Am I in a courtroom...or a message board?
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Old 08-23-2006, 10:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TripMom
I am bracing myself for : - as I've given my opinion on this one before.

DS did this for awhile - as a delay tactic for bedtime. He would dawdle over dinner, refuse to eat, etc. - and then when I would try to clean up he'd say, hey I'm hungry, I want to eat. Repeat that many times over.

OR

He would dawdle and not eat, etc. And then try to get a snack - ironically, just exactly at the time that we began tucking him in . . .

So. DH and I told DS that dinner is from x to x. At x - dinner is over. The next meal after dinner is breakfast. No shaming. No punishing tone. Just defined the boundaries oand being consistent. Of course DS pushed it a few times -- but we were consistent and very quickly the whole problem went away.
No comment necessary.


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Old 08-23-2006, 10:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
Wow, that is unfortunate. Am I in a courtroom...or a message board?
I am sure it is confusing to quote someone and not realize the misrepresentation existed. No worries.

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Old 08-23-2006, 10:46 PM
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Originally Posted by TripMom
I am bracing myself for : - as I've given my opinion on this one before.

DS did this for awhile - as a delay tactic for bedtime. He would dawdle over dinner, refuse to eat, etc. - and then when I would try to clean up he'd say, hey I'm hungry, I want to eat. Repeat that many times over.
OR

He would dawdle and not eat, etc. And then try to get a snack - ironically, just exactly at the time that we began tucking him in . . .

So. DH and I told DS that dinner is from x to x. At x - dinner is over. The next meal after dinner is breakfast. No shaming. No punishing tone. Just defined the boundaries oand being consistent. Of course DS pushed it a few times -- but we were consistent and very quickly the whole problem went away.
(bolded mine)

I don't understand why the mods are being called in for a direct quote that people are respecfully but adamantly disagreeing with.

Let me repeat... NO ONE ONCE suggested you were starving your son.
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Old 08-23-2006, 10:52 PM
 
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I feed my children when they are hungry, whatever they want to eat. I usually only keep healthy foods in the house, so too much junk food is a non issue.

I am surprised and a bit dismayed to see mothers here advocating for forcing eating or withholding food.
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Old 08-23-2006, 10:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captain crunchy
(bolded mine)

I don't understand why the mods are being called in for a direct quote that people are respecfully but adamantly disagreeing with.

Let me repeat... NO ONE ONCE suggested you were starving your son.
Captain -

In breaking my own policy of silence - I notice that your bolding of my post made me reread it - and perhaps my brevity wasn't clear enough. In the quote "Repeat that many times over" that you bolded - I am not referencing my DS saying he's hungry - I am referencing the entire interaction - the dinner, the not eating, the me removing the plate when dinner is over, the him asking for it back - the ME GIVING IT TO HIM - the not eating, etc. I'm not saying my DS continued to say he's hungry and I did nothing? In the interactions leading up to this - and there were many - he was repeatedly given his food again and again and again - and he repeatedly did not eat it in an effort to avoid bath and bed.

Now - that may make absolutely no difference to you. Perhaps you feel I should still be in my kitchen offering him last months dinner? I don't know. But perhaps that did clear up some confusion for others?

Oh well . . . .back to silence.

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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Old 08-23-2006, 11:06 PM
 
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My son is generally a great eater and I attribute this in part to his generally great personality and in part to my decision to be mellow about when he eats his food. I provide our family with the best foods I can procure and cook them as best I can. (Or sometimes my husband buys and cooks things, something he does very well.) We also have a lot of snacky things like fruit, hummus, crackers, whole wheat bread, cheese in the fridge.

But then I have to just ease up on my anxiety about when he should eat these things. I have to decide that I can handle it if a little food (mainly dessert!) gets wasted, and that I will feel all right if I have some leftovers in the fridge.

I feel like a lot of parents try to control their kids' behavior out of anxiety. So managing my anxiety is one of the best routes to keeping parenting loving, mellow, and unoppressive.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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