how do you know if your child is mentally ill ?? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-28-2006, 06:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our oldest of four is eight, and she has become more and more and more out of control and violent and just totally whacked out. We are a non-violent, organic-loving, peaceful and holistic family and always have been. Food allergies and intolerances are not an issue here. She gets enough sleep and exercise and has a great diet and friends, outings, etc, and her three siblings are kind to her and well-balanced and loving. She herself is talented and smart and CAN be loving and kind.

But increasingly, I am getting snotty back-talk and she will no longer do anything when asked, and her mood is angry, hostile, defiant, and enraged most of the time. If anyone asks her to do (or not do) ANYTHING, she will now fly off the handle, start hurting people and destroying property, yell and scream, throw things, kick, break stuff, threaten to "leave this family," and even has started to try to hurt the baby!! !!!!!! I have NEVER EVER seen an 8-yr-old act in this manner, and I am totally shocked and sickened and saddened by it.

She does NOT get what she wants by these outbursts. Instead, she generally experiences loss of privileges and her parents' anger. And yet, she continues in this manner and it gets worse with every passing week. This morning she had yet another blow-up, just like yesterday and the day before, and I was trying to drive to meet my husband at the coffee shop. Her blow-up was because I asked her to stop eating on the couch. She would not listen, so I put her food away and told her she could eat it at the coffee shop.

The whole drive there, she was standing up in her car seat and pulling my hair, hitting me, trying to scratch and punch me, and throwing shoes and books and everything else. This scene was not only dangerous, it was disturbing and embarrassing and totally totally pissed me off. I remained calm and pulled over when it became unsafe to drive, but by the time I got there, I was covered in scratches and totally exhausted. And NO, I do not retaliate and hit her or hurt her. Except if she is doing something dangerous, I hold her arms down and make her NOT hurt someone or get us in an accident.

It is like, we have had to stop living practically because her behavior is so out of control. Every day, to have these huge outbursts, holy crap, what should we do? She will not take no for an answer, she treats everyone worse than you can imagine, she listens to nothing we say, and she is vicious and violent and totally f-ed up. I am terrified she will do real harm to someone and need this to stop NOW. What should I do? Where do we start?

I have always always been against people medicating children, but OMG, I am starting to see why people do it. It's like, you don't want the whole family to get dragged down and sink because one person has gone LOCO, right? No, we would not medicate her, but I can see why people are tempted now.

Where do we start? Does she need a medical doctor? Does she need a counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, family therapist, clinical social worker? Is she mentally ill or just behaving like a beast because she gets no real consequences for it? I don't know anything. I don't understand this. None of the parenting books are working and nothing is working. The damage she is doing to our family and way of life and peace is huge. We are running out of patience and ideas. We are losing our minds. I cannot take any more screaming or violence from her, and she is polluting her siblings with her ugliness. She is hurting them and they in turn are starting to lash out too. The others are 3 and 6 and they are really, really happy and sunny. It sickens me to see the oldest setting this sort of example. The others cannot realize she is perhaps mentally ill. They just see the behavior and emulate it. It sickens me.

PLEASE advise, anyone who has a clue!
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Old 08-28-2006, 06:50 PM
 
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You need to talk to a doctor who may recommend a psychiatrist.

There could be something mental going on or something bad could have happened to her and she can't control the emotions that go along with having a bad secret.

Please seek help. The snottery can just be age, but that much violence is showing you that she needs help.

Trust your instincts and get her some.

Good luck.
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Old 08-28-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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I am so sorry that you and your family are having such a hard time. I am in the child mental health field and I am very hesitant to recommend medication for young clients. But, I think it sounds like it may be worth at least looking into some counseling. Personally, I would start with a mental health professional who does not prescribe medication (like a psychologist).

I know there is a ton of variability based on personality and theoretical orientation in the field. I hope you are able to find a compassionate professional who can assist you and your family while respecting your wishes regarding medication.

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Old 08-28-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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It's a long shot, but you might want to consider having her blood sugar level tested. My DD started acted like this last year, at age 5. She had a giant, predictable kicking/screaming/punching/biting/pinching meltdown EVERY SINGLE DAY, around the same time. After she started school, it was even worse. She was exhausted all the time and the violent meltdowns intesified - the least little thing would set her off like a rocket.

As it turns out, she was having severe hyperglycemic episodes. After some other issues surfaced around Christmastime, DD was dx'd with Type 1 diabetes. Her bgl was 774 the night she was dx'd.

Every baptized Christian is, or should be, someone with an actual (disturbing) experience, ... a close encounter, with God; someone who, as a result, becomes a disturbing presence to others. - Fr. Anthony J. Gittins, A Presence That Disturbs
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Old 08-28-2006, 07:34 PM
 
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I would start with your pediatrican. I would be aware there are a lot of options on the road before medication so asking for a referral isn't asking for medication. I bet you could get a lot of help from a psychologist or a MSW who specializes in working with kids.
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Old 08-28-2006, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I would never, never medicate her, I just mean that I can see how people would be tempted! Especially if they want a quick fix. But I believe those medications can cause lasting, serious, and irreparable harm to developing brains.

OK, agreed about seeking help from a professional, and also I like the blood sugar testing idea. No other diabetic symptoms, though. I don't *really* think it is that. But I agree, it's important to check.

She just had another violent, all-out tantrum, like kicking the washing machine and trying to damage it, hitting me, throwing a suitcase down the stairs, and yelling her arse off, because I said NO to a request, and the "no" was very reasonable. We say yes as much as possible, and sometimes, the answer is no, and she HAS to be able to handle it.

It is a nightmare. A total nightmare. She must be a seething cauldron inside. What gives? HOW does a little kid get so violent? How could she possibly get like this? Now she's downstairs packing a suitcase, telling me she's running away from home. She has convinced her brother to go too---last I saw he was running downstairs with his bathing suit and goggles to stuff into the suitcase.: I'm going to lose my mind. I really am.
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Old 08-28-2006, 08:40 PM
 
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freestyler, I'm not in favor of medicating kids (or anyone else) unnecessarily either. But if she does have a mental illness, medication may be necessary to restore the proper chemical balance to her brain.

Obviously you should explore other options, including therapy, first. But if you see a therapist who thinks she needs medication, please don't discount the whole idea without careful consideration.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, and that she's so miserable right now.

Can't give up actin' tough, it's all that I'm made of. Can't scrape together quite enough to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love. ~ Neko Case

 
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, let's pray it doesn't come to that. I doubt it will. She is more likely just acting badly and needs to be reined in A LOT --- especially experiencing the consequences of her choices and behavior. But anyway, I'm gonna get her in to see someone. This is intolerable. We can't even take certain trips or go certain places because she is so out of control that we can't have her in public sometimes. Or we're out in public but have to make a quick getaway, because she is raising such a ruckus that people might call the police! Yesterday she had a HUGE meltdown and was swinging at me and throwing things in the car, and we were trying to leave the parking lot of the botanical gardens. OMG, how mortifying. She wouldn't get in her seat, she was too busy trying to hurt me! And of course she scared the bejeezus out of the other kids, so they started screaming too, and finally I settled for just holding her down, arms pinned down, in between the front seats, while my husband moved the car to someplace more isolated, where we waited endlessly for her to calm down, and finally had to force her into her car seat and just keep driving. Christ what a nightmare.

Today she had a huge tantrum and wrecked my son's game that he had just taken a long time to set up. He was so upset that he went outside and smashed the 3-yr-old's teaset on the back patio. He has NEVER done that before. He has done normal, stupid, 6-yr-old stuff, but never anything in direct reaction to the 8-yr-old's messed up behavior. I felt so bad for the other kids. They are all really, really disturbed by it.

How would someone KNOW if your kid had an improper brain balance that was screwing them up? I mean, are these things measurable, quantifiable? What can they check for? Well, like I said, I don't think it will come to that. Maybe they should medicate ME instead!!!!!
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:33 PM
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Maybe they should medicate ME instead!!!!!
Not much advice, but big hugs. I am so sorry. I am no expert, just a 3rd grade teacher, and I agree this behavior is totally not normal. Something is going on, whether it is emotional or physical. Definitely make an appt. to see someone, even if only a town social worker they can point you in the right direction and make referrals.

She's trying to tell you something, you've got to find out what.

Please post back when you have an update. Hugs again!
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:36 PM
 
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hugs mama.

is she is school or homeschooled? how does she do with reading/writing activities?
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:08 PM
 
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have you read Hold on To your CHildren by Gordon Neufeld? i am not saying that this applies to your case, simply not enough info, but he has a different approach and does not stress consequences. he stresses bonding / connection before any changes in the behaviour can be achieved. his hypothesis is that this kind of behaviour might be related to being peer oriented, rather than parent oriented, and simply getting off track, and disconnected from parents. the cases that he cites in the book sound very similar to yours.
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:14 PM
 
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When you say it is not food sensitivities, does this mean you've had that tested? Just curious..cause its really insane how many things a child could be sensitive to. Cod liver oil does amazing things in cases of depression, anxiety, and just plain old mood swings. Even if she has a great diet, she could be missing important things like vits A and D. Maybe candida? Also, amino acid deficiencies can cause imbalances in the brain chemistry and supplementing with them in adults and children can really help alleviate anger/anxiety/mood swings. There's a book called the "Mood Cure" which I have been finding incredibly helpful for anger and mood swings for myself. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably see a ped that was more holistically oriented and/or a naturopath to get some guidance on discovering nutritional/physical causes. And I've heard there are actually holistic psychologists who use alternative therapies to help with emotional/mental stuff.

And then the other things that come to mind: how is school going for her? How much time does she spend outside doing physical things? How much one on one time does she get with mom and/or dad?

Hope I have given you some ideas, and I hope you get this all figured out soon.

 

 
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Annabanana---I will check out that book. I've heard it recommended by so many people. Thanks.

Worldshakerz---Yes, we have had her tested for every imaginable food, because she does have severe food allergies. Now, however, her diet is totally clean, and clean to the point where it couldn't even be candida.

She gets a ton of exercise and we are outdoors most of the day. We hate being in the house. Her meltdowns occur whether we've been outdoors/exercising/not exercising/eating/not eating right then/etc. They do not follow a pattern, except that they keep happening all the time. She lives to swim and boogie-board.

As for academics, they are not happening right now. I needed a break this summer. And during this coming school year, god knows how we'll manage academics. No one can stand being home at this time in our lives---4 kids 8 and under inside the house, UGH UGH UGH. She can focus quite well on piano and math and such, but gets so snotty and belligerent and nasty and hostile and tantrumy, that I don't even bother practicing piano with her anymore and have taken her out of lessons. Math, she does fine at, but like I said, we're taking a break for the summer anyway. Our homeschooling is a disaster, academically. All they ever want to do is swim, hike, boogie board, play in the gym at our athletic club, and eat. Maybe academics can happen later, I don't know.

But this tantrum thing, holy cow, it is out of control. Thank you for all the suggestions everyone. Ummmm, it is really really hard right now. I hate that it affects my parenting of the other kids---because I'm so tired and irritable after dealing with these daily meltdowns, and I basically lose interest in dealing with ANY of the kids. I am just too damned tired. It's totally unfair to the other kids. It is one more reason to get that girl reined in and fast, whatever is wrong with her.
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:55 PM
 
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trying to control an angry child will only make them angrier...this is what someone told me on MDC and I have applied it to my oldest child with amazing results.

My oldest did(and still does) harbour a lot of anger toward her dad. She was acting horribly and as you say 'ruining the family' and this made me angry towards her. I was trying to control her behaviour which was close to but not quite as bad as your dd's. I think it would have gotten there in time. She was also older. I also thought she was suffering from some great mental health issue. I now believe she is just a sensitive child who deals with anger in an explosive out of control manner.

I posted here about some of the issues a few years ago and got great help but the thing that helped me the most was this

If she is mentally ill then shouldn't she be afforded the same treatment she would get if she were physically ill? If she had cancer would you take away her priviledges if she acted out due to frustration and anger and the limitations of her body? If it's a mental illness you will eventually find that out but in the meantime treat her as though it is a physical illness because most mental illnesses are physical. Treat her with love.

So what did I do? Every time she had an episode she got no punishment...I went to her afterwards and talked to her calmly and reasonably about how she must feel and tried to get her to explain to me how she felt immediately before...it came to light in som eof these discussions that she felt it was her fault that her dad and I had separated even though I had told her and her sister numerous times that it wasn't her. .

She would feel so terrible after she lost control and I was making it worse by punishing her and taking away her privileges..I was making her angrier because she wasn't being heard...and she was frustrated. And no matter what she told me(such as being jealous of her younger sister because she had a good dad) I validated that that was a good and valid point.
I think she was operating from a place of shame..how could she be jealous of her sweet, beautiful sister, she must be aterrible person and I would validate that by punishing her

Over a lot of time the behaviour has changed..she still has freak outs..usually hormonal now that she is 15 but at least I can anticipate that a bit by keeping a calendar.

So she didn't have a mental illness...she was angry and was acting out her anger and I was making her angrier in my dealings with her.

She's a pain in the butt teen but she's not as angry and we can live with her now.

I would try to replace every angry word with a kind one on your part(with no expectations from her) and in the meantime make those appointments with the psychologist, dr., naturopath etc. because if she does have a mental illness she does need to be treated. This is all you can do at this point but at least it is something

My dd doesn't have a mental illness but the way I changed my dealings with her certainly changed the dynamic in the house. And it really helped her...and if you can get your dh onside that's a bonus. My DH really wasn't but that's mainly because he was gone so much...I know your DH travels as well...is she worse when he's home...my dd was...I think she was trying to make life miserable for him so he'd go away again..or maybe she was trying to get his attention..she still does that to a degree but some of that is jsut change of routine when he's home.

The behaviour is a symptom of something really really deep going on...you can't fix the behaviour until you find the cause. In the meantime help her through with kindness and patience.

These kids who are hardest to love, need love more



ETA...a quote I live by is "you cannot discipline a child effectively unless you have a solid relationship with that child"
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Old 08-29-2006, 03:28 AM
 
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Not alot of advice here but I would second the checking her bloodsugar. Some very close friends have a diabetic daughter, who is so great. When she gets high (her blood sugar) oh my gosh look out. She hit one of the neighbor girls with a bat (a plastic one, and she was 4) several years ago. It was a big shock to her parents but once they learned about the disease it put so much into perspective for them.

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Old 08-29-2006, 11:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by allgirls
If she is mentally ill then shouldn't she be afforded the same treatment she would get if she were physically ill? If she had cancer would you take away her priviledges if she acted out due to frustration and anger and the limitations of her body? If it's a mental illness you will eventually find that out but in the meantime treat her as though it is a physical illness because most mental illnesses are physical. Treat her with love.
This is what I was going to say. I mean this gently, but it seems like your own attitude may need some adjusting as well. It does seem like whatever is happening to your daughter is out of her control (at least for the moment), and thinking of her as being nasty and spiteful and a homewrecker is not going to help her get better.

My daughter is 8.5, and although she has developed a bit of an attitude, it is nothing even close to what you've described. It doesn't affect where we go or what we do, and it doesn't affect her brother or me. IMO you should definitely take your dd to see someone.
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Old 08-29-2006, 12:10 PM
 
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HOTYK is one good book. Another is PLAYFUL PARENTING by Lawrence Gordon. Read the Amazon reviews. That books is more for children up to age 7? but it's a similar thing... parents and children need to maintain their connection (Gordon suggests silly play).

Has your connection been severed? How does she feel about sharing your attention with 3 other siblings?

My 4 yr old son was HORRIBLe with me for the first year after his sister was born. He'd hit her too, but he was worse with me. He was extremely violent with me. (My saga is in the Gentle Discipline board, with an update.) The preschool director said "children act up due to unmet needs." So that is what I focused on. More TLC whenever I could... for example, I made sure to give him kisses before sleep and tell him how much I loved him. He lapped it up and he began to change before my eyes. He is still envious of his younger sister because he feels she gets to be with me a lot (true - he's running off playing and she's by me). I am just now going to start going on "dates" with him, one-on-one time. Maybe once a month, preferably more, so he gets special time too.

All good advice on this thread, things to consider (I'm against medicating also, and that's what psychiatrists do, so be wary of who you go to, because they'll do whatever they are trained to do).

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Old 08-29-2006, 12:52 PM
 
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freestyler...I wasn't being critical of your parenting....I hope I didn't come across that way...you know me and you know the spirit in which I write this...and I know you are a good mama...you are so loving and you work so hard against such great obstacles...the typ e of town you live in, your dh travelling so much...4 kids under 8, homeschooling...I am actually in awe of you. I am just suggesting something for you to try until you get her some help because I sense you are building up a lot of resentment towards her(I know I did with my dd) and the guilt of that was devastating to me and didn't help my dd one bit.

The way I looked at it back then was I had nothing to lose...I had an out of control child...the worse that could happen by my estimation was I would still have an out of control child but until proven otherwise I had to treat her as though she had a terrible mental illness.

The reasons I had in the beginning for not changing my methods with her were "other people will think I am letting her get away with it"(screw other people) my other kids will think I am letting her get away with it(I explained to them what I was doing and also in learning how to cope with her I learned how to love them better...I now discipline all my children differently working on the attachement and relationship first and foremost) and what would DH think...well we were in a situation where he was her stepdad so I was doing the discipline anyway...he supported me 100% He still hasn't built a great relationship with her mainly because he's gone so much but it's getting better...she just doesn't trust that he cares or she's afraid to. As she matures it's getting better though.

One thing I have started telling my kids is "I love being your mom" no matter what they do I want them to know this.

I hope you get help and answers soon.



eta..I have a copy of Hold on to your Kids...if you want to borrow it I will send it to you..just pm me your address...I will want it back though...it's helped me a lot.
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Old 08-29-2006, 01:24 PM
 
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This is what I was going to say. I mean this gently, but it seems like your own attitude may need some adjusting as well. It does seem like whatever is happening to your daughter is out of her control (at least for the moment), and thinking of her as being nasty and spiteful and a homewrecker is not going to help her get better.
Yes. When our kids are hardest to love is when they really need us the most.

Anxiety looks different depending on the kid. It can be hard to be kind to a tantruming kid but they may be every bit as anxious as the kid who is crying, clinging and asking for hugs. It sounds right now like your daughter is in a lot of pain.

What is your plan for finding someone to take her to. Can you make the call today?
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Old 08-29-2006, 05:24 PM
 
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I would also recommend the book "The Explosive Child" -- there are forms of ADHD that look very much like this too.

Friends of mine have a son with severe ADHD ("Ring of Fire" ADHD - they had the brain scans done and basically, when he tries to concentrate, the entire brain "lights up" and goes haywire), and in addition he's got sensory integration issues (sensory seeking), so that when he freaks out, he lashes out to get sensory stimuli to calm him. He's also sensitive to dairy.

They found this book very helpful. They did medicate him for a while, just so that he could learn skills to help self-regulate. After about two years on meds, with individual counseling, family counseling, occupational therapy and a lot of hassle with the school, he's coming of the meds for a bit and they are going to homeschool him. He's highly gifted, ADHD, and learning disabled and the school just couldn't deal with him. (They kept thinking that having new sticker charts for earning rewards would help. : They felt he was choosing his behavior - and he wasn't. He was literally not able ot control himself.)

But it sounds very much like this is a case for professional intervention - you need to find out what's going on with your daughter and how you best as a family system can help her. It's pretty clear that the things that work for "other kids" aren't working for her right now, and until you know what the issues are and how to deal with them, it's going to be hit or miss.

Those posters who say that when your children are like this they need your love more -- they're right, but her reaction is also outside the norm. I would possibly set up a 'safe spot' for her to calm down, and stop the loss of priveleges until you know what's up.

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Old 08-30-2006, 06:58 AM
 
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How would someone KNOW if your kid had an improper brain balance that was screwing them up? I mean, are these things measurable, quantifiable? What can they check for? Well, like I said, I don't think it will come to that. Maybe they should medicate ME instead!!!!!
A psychiatrist will have means of assessing her behavior. When my dh first started getting treatment from a physician for his depression, they started each session for quite a while with a brief check-in about physical symptoms. I don't remember the questions, but I got them once when I was there to confer with his doctor. (I think it was just a standard thing. I was fine, which was what he expected.) They were about specific physical symptoms and experiences during things like concentrating, going to sleep, etc. A child psychiatrist would have a set of diagnostic tools that are kid-specific.

This sounds like a very, very difficult situation. If there's a physical cause of her behavior, and you can get it treated, how much better would your lives all be? How much better would her life be? Please seek help for her, mama.

Can't give up actin' tough, it's all that I'm made of. Can't scrape together quite enough to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love. ~ Neko Case

 
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Old 08-30-2006, 10:44 AM
 
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Been thinking about you..How are you doing mama?
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Old 08-30-2006, 10:59 AM
 
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Yeah, that! (I don't know where the icon is; I'm sorta new.)


The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children (Paperback)
by Ross W. Greene

This is my recommendation, but LynnS6 got to it first.

DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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Old 08-30-2006, 02:34 PM
 
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Another thing that you may want to consider is the possibility of early puberty type hormonal changes in her. Is she physically mature for her age?
Because I remember being an early bloomer and being totally hormonally out of control way before my parents would have expected it.
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Old 08-30-2006, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Allgirls---doing better, thanks, and DD is doing OK. I've been focusing on much more affection, much more, and am checking out ALL the books you mammas recommended. They are being held at our local library for me and I'm picking them up today. It will be a good first step.

And I'm gonna make an appointment with someone ASAP, even while we start implementing the at-home changes in our behavior with her. God, I hope it helps. One more of those episodes will make me loco. I hate to see someone suffering.

I'm gonna read Hold Onto Your Kids first, followed by The Explosive Child, and then Playful Parenting, and then ....ooops, I forgot what the fourth one is, but it's on hold and it's one of the ones recommended here. What an airhead I am. Well, we'll see what happens. I hope she'll be OK. I've got DH pressuring me to stop homeschooling, too, because he sees her behavior as evidence that HSing is not right, but personally I think that's a load of bull. Schooled kids have problems too. Sending her away will only shove problems under the carpet and eliminate the time and space necessary to help her and work things out as a family.
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Old 08-30-2006, 04:48 PM
 
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I'm thinking of you. Keep hangin' in there - you're a great mama.

A happy woman
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Old 08-30-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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Glad to hear you're hanging in there.

As for homeschooling -- I can only say that if you as loving parents are having a major issue with her behavior, what is the school system going to do differently? I'll confess to not being a big proponent of homeschooling, but in your case, until you've got nailed down what the issues are, I wouldn't recommend traditional school. My friends with the "explosive child" have pulled him out of school and are homeschooling precisely because the school district couldn't deal with him.

It's great that your reading and going to see someone! All signs of an excellent loving parent.

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
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Old 08-30-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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Mama! You've gotten a lot of great suggestions, but I do want to throw one more thing out there . . . is sexual abuse a possiblity? I'm a shrink who works primarily w/kids, and while girls tend to "act in" and boys "act out," it's not entirely unusual for a girl to display this kind of anger when she's been (or is being) abused. I always ask any new patient -- adult or child, male or female -- if they've ever been sexually abused . . . the statistics are staggering. I know it's an exceedingly unpleasant thought, but something to bear in mind.

I should add that I also always ask new patients when they had their last physical exam, so I agree with PPs that the best place to start is with your DD's pediatrician.

I hope you and your family find some answers soon. Hang in there!

Daughter since '68 ~Sister since '72 ~Wife since '97 ~ Mama since DS 5/03& DD 10/08
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Old 08-30-2006, 08:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, thank goodness, it is not a possibility. The only time she has been away from us for whole days was at summer camp, and that place was awesome. Also, the kids always went around in hoardes, and were with their own ages. (And had a buddy system.) This behavior pre-dates that, anyhow.

I'm wondering if WHEAT might be a trigger. It is the only thing that has changed in the last year--we added it into our diets in small quantities. Now we have yanked it again, because when she was the most psychotic was when she was eating wheat every day. But this rule did not/does not always hold. So while wheat might have contributed, there is other stuff going on. I've been much more affectionate and no more consequences/removal of privileges, and we're trying to get to the bottom of it.
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Old 08-30-2006, 09:03 PM
 
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My ds has oppositional defiant disorder with o.c.d tendencies. He's had/has violent outbursts for years now. (he's 13, started when he was 6 or so) I totally can relate to your frustration.

We started with our family dr. Who referred us to a neurologist to be sure it wasnt something physical. Then went on a waiting list (year long!) for a child psychiatrist. In the meantime, he started "acting out" in school and thankfully he did 'cause thats where the help came. We were in contact with the school social worker and school psychologist who helped us. While staying in touch with the social worker, we were referred to the school division psychiatrist - all these meetings happened within a few months.
There he was diagnosed, went to meetings and eventually medicated. The medication did help him - it took the edge off and was able to allow him to control himself. Now he's off the meds and we're seeing a family therapist.

So thats the course we went on. Definitley start with your dr. Even when things seem to be going okay.
Maybe search behavioural disorders? At least to rule them out?

Hang in there,
laura
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