The September almost-4 tribe!!! - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#151 of 168 Old 09-28-2006, 05:49 PM
 
MamaFern's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: surrounded by snowy mountains
Posts: 7,543
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i would just LOVE to have a huge playroom that i didnt have to worry about and maybe a dishwasher




























and a personal massage therapist on call 24 hours a day..and a personal trainer..and maybe an old growth forest of my very own

 

 

Quote:
Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....

 

MamaFern is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#152 of 168 Old 09-28-2006, 05:57 PM
 
Mona's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: indiana
Posts: 2,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i have a dishwasher, but don't use it.

what i want is pretty simple- SLEEEEEEEP

Mona is offline  
#153 of 168 Old 09-28-2006, 05:57 PM
 
Mona's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: indiana
Posts: 2,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh, rynna, how are the sick kids doing?
ditto to anyone else who has sick monkeys
Mona is offline  
#154 of 168 Old 09-28-2006, 06:02 PM
 
eilonwy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Lost
Posts: 15,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
BooBah's wild and destructive again today, rather than lethargic and slightly purple, so I'd say she's feelign much better even though she's still wheezing. Bella's pretty miserable, BeanBean threw up once yesterday in the morning and that's been the worst of it for him. His energy level hasn't even been affected, he's been the wildest of all of us.

Mike stayed home sick from work today, he's pretty miserable. Around 3 he said, "I should have gone to work, I'd have gotten more rest there." I've only been telling him that for three years...

Leah-- have you been keeping yourself well hydrated, hmmmm?? It's easier to become dehydrated than you might think. Did you know that having perpetually chapped lips can be a sign of chronic dehydration? It's true!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
eilonwy is offline  
#155 of 168 Old 09-28-2006, 07:10 PM
 
Mona's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: indiana
Posts: 2,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh rynna, i forgot to tell you that amazon has floradix, and its free shipping if you buy more then $25.
Mona is offline  
#156 of 168 Old 09-29-2006, 12:46 AM
 
eilonwy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Lost
Posts: 15,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm thinking I should go on strike. I'm obviously a horrible parent, just a waste of time, I don't do enough and I don't care enough to do more, so I should probably stop doing anything. Why am I so worried about it all? It's not as if anything that I do actually makes a difference.

Tonight, while I was giving Bella a neb, BooBah went into the kitchen and dumped a gallon and a half of milk on the floor. I'm sure that some of you can relate when I say that this is the absolute *worst* time she could have chosen to do this; it's the end of the month. We are *completely* out of money. There are no food stamps, no WIC checks, there is absolutely *nothing* until Mike gets paid (and of course this paycheck is almost entirely allocated to paying the rent & phone bill, because if those aren't paid we get evicted and lose phone service, respectively). On Tuesday I used the last of the WIC checks and purchased 3.5 gallons of milk & 30 oz of cereal; tonight there's about a quart of Mike's (skim, not lactose-free) milk left in the fridge. That's it; the cereal was poured all over the living room and kitchen, and the milk... well, it's all gone, sopped up by towels which had finally been washed.

A few months ago I splurged and bought a laundry hamper. It wasn't terribly expensive or special, but it did have three separate spaces, contained by net bags, so that laundry could be put in & separated. The kids destroyed it, Mike threw out the pieces that he could find earlier this week. I tried to organize the family shoes, I bought an over-the-door shoe storage thingy. The kids never put their shoes into it, unless I holler about it. Then they complain and cry and whine when they can't find their shoes and I won't take them anywhere.

I buy food, I put it away in the cabinets; they climb, open things which need to be cooked first, take a bite (or don't) and then pour it all over the place, and I can only count myself lucky if some of it happens to land in the sink or in the trash. BooBah breaks eggs; she just opens containers of eggs in the fridge and carriest them into closets to crack and rub into clean laundry. BeanBean hides peanut butter and jelly in the storage closet. They pour things all over the carpet and then act shocked when I step in it and know it's there, as if the fact that the carpet absorbed it means that it's clean.

And to top it all off, Mike tells me that this is, ultimately, all my fault. If "we" had the kids on a schedule, none of this would have happened, I'm sure. Never mind that BeanBean deliberately jumped on my back when a) he *knew* that I'd been in pain for several weeks and b)I told him to stop because it hurt. Never mind that there is NO PLACE in this house which I can reach but which the kids can't-- anything that I can get to, they can also get to and anything they can't get to, I can't either. Never mind that *I* actually have suggested a schedule many times, and even attempted to implement them, only to be thwarted by Mike's complete and utter lack of cooperation or respect for said schedule.

Tonight I realized something for the first time. I really, truly understood how mothers could walk away from their children and their families, how they could just give up and *leave.* I've never considered this so seriously, it's never occurred to me to entirely give up, but that's where I am right now. I've given up on my sister, I've mostly given up on my mother, and I'm about ready to give up on Mike and the kids. I'm so f***ing tired of finding powdered pudding mix all over the floor, of waking up covered in jelly, of not finding out about spilled milk for weeks, until I smell rotting cheese in a corner, of not being able to walk down the hallway without stepping in something disgusting for more than a few hours, of not being able to walk at all because someone's making my back pain even less bearable than it was before.

I don't think I ask for much. I just want to be able to sleep sometimes on clean sheets, and to have those sheets stay clean for more than one night. I want to be able to walk into a room and not feel like I should turn and walk right back out. To cook a meal and sit at a table and eat it. It's not that much, is it? I'd really like it if my ears weren't always ringing, and if I didn't spend so much energy trying not to feel as angry as I do, trying not to scream. I feel like I walk around holding my breath all the time. It's depressing, it's demoralizing, it makes me hate my life and wish I'd never gone down this path. I just want to scrap this and start all over again.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
eilonwy is offline  
#157 of 168 Old 09-29-2006, 09:15 AM
 
Mona's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: indiana
Posts: 2,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh goddess, rynna, i'm sorry you are having such a rough time.
jeez, those kids and food!!!! i guess that is why i have actually heard of mom's putting padlocks on fridges?

I wish i could say something that would make it all better, but i think what might help, at least a little is some Rynna time. Maybe getting away for a day and enjoy yourself out in the world as a person, not a mom or wife?
This is probably impossible, but, could you get out for a bit- go hang out at Borders or whatever? (don't have to spend money there. :P We are queens of going to places and not spending money : )
That won't help with your food issue, or money issue, but it might help with the sanity issue, so that you will be in a better place energetically to deal with the food chaos that exists in your house, which of course is another topic.

Anyway, be kind with yourself sweetie.
Mona is offline  
#158 of 168 Old 09-29-2006, 12:43 PM
 
MamaFern's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: surrounded by snowy mountains
Posts: 7,543
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
rynna. im nak but i read your post and had to say that ive definately felt like leaving my family and going somewhere quiet and clean and completely alone. being a momma is not easy and anyone who says it is is insane. you are amazing and you have a HUGE amount of responsability and work.. 3 kids under 4.. thats hyge. you ARE doing a great job. you love them and you do everything you can to provide them with love and nutrition and a home ..

on the crazy getting into everything,wrecking everything thing.. i just dont let iy happen. elwynn knows that if he makes a mess he cleans it up.. maybe thats too much for a 3 year old but for my sanity its got to be that way. i guess i run a tight ship (never thought i would) but my mental health is pretty dependant on having a calm, clean home environment. i still usew GD to keep it that way but im not illing to let the kids walk all over me.. can you talk to them about how you feel? that when they do stuff like that it makes you feel like they dont care about their home and that its not okay to trash the place? i know some kids just dont listen or are too young but iys worth putting out there..

 

 

Quote:
Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....

 

MamaFern is offline  
#159 of 168 Old 09-29-2006, 03:42 PM
 
DecemberSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: The Valley of the Sun
Posts: 1,563
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Rynna, you definitely need a break. I know that's easy for me to say. I have never thought of leaving my kids and never coming back because for me I made a commitment to the state and these kids to provide parenting when their own parents are too stupid to do it. But I often get to a point where I need to live and breathe in a new space for a few days to recharge myself, YK? Even having 2 kids at a time is better for me than having all 4! I am lucky enough to be able to drive down to Mexico and stay for a few days and collect my energy again. We end up letting our families suck us dry of all our energy and when we are "running on fumes", so to speak, it is difficult to function at all- let alone function in a chaotic pig sty, YK? It is only natural that you would have no patience for all that you go through day after day after day. And all your kids (and DP) are sick right now!!! Go easy on yourself! You are a superwoman, but not THE Superwoman. No super powers, just real emotions and feelings. This may sound bizarre, but try to close yourself off from anyone else stealing your personal energy. It's hard to explain. Go into the bathroom and close the door, turn on the water or music to block out the kids' noise, and just spend 5 minutes ALONE every so often so you can get grounded again. If it's possible let the ILs or someone watch the kids while you just go somehwere and sit and stare, or sleep, or clean your house up, or something. If I could afford it I'd buy a gift certificate for a cleaning service in your town. And I'd buy some locks for your cabinets too. Hang in there, Mama. I'm sorry it's been hard for you lately.

And, no, I'm not dehydrated. I drink a gallon a day specifically to keep myself hydratyed to avoid preterm labor. Plus I live in AZ and it's bone dry here!

My pain has been caused by a bladder infection. Different symptoms than my usual UTI's, so that's weird. But a better explaination than PTL.

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

Hubby guitar.gif, ds (11) REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, adopted dd (10) notes2.gif, dd (6) dust.gif, dd (1) femalesling.GIF & 3 foster dd's wheelchair.gif upsidedown.gif diaper.gif  

DecemberSun is offline  
#160 of 168 Old 09-29-2006, 06:58 PM
 
jillmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 3,221
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Rynna, big to you! I have had days like that. I have read lots of your posts, and you seem like such a patient, loving mom! Have you thought of putting some childproof locks on some of the cabinets/fridge so your kids can't get into them? I know you have pretty smart kids that could probably figure those out fast, but maybe it would slow them down enough to where you could catch them? I have these locks that open with a magnet on the outside which I keep way up high on the fridge, so my kids can't get to them. I have left one cabinet with no locks on it that they CAN get to with plastic stuff and a few toys. Maybe that would help your sanity?

Now that we are past the potty learning hurdle (finally!), I am starting to look into preschools for DS. I am just looking for something a couple days a week for a few hours, just for him to have some fun, learn how to follow directions from someone other than me, and be around other kids his age. It seems like a lot of the schools around here are crazy expensive...like $45-$80 a week, plus $100+ enrollment fees for just a few hours 2-3 times a week! Anyone else send their almost 4 year old to preschool? What has your experience been?

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
jillmamma is offline  
#161 of 168 Old 09-30-2006, 06:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
majazama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: mountains of bc
Posts: 4,493
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaFern View Post

on the crazy getting into everything,wrecking everything thing.. i just dont let iy happen. elwynn knows that if he makes a mess he cleans it up.. maybe thats too much for a 3 year old but for my sanity its got to be that way. i guess i run a tight ship (never thought i would) but my mental health is pretty dependant on having a calm, clean home environment. i still usew GD to keep it that way but im not illing to let the kids walk all over me..
You have to have boundries for the kids. Don't let them get into the stuff that you don't want them to get into. My kids have never gotten into the cupboards, but that could be cause I always leave the chairs and such by the table, so they can't climb up there.

I hate to say it now, but I just had a glorious day, child-free:. My mom watched the kids for me, and I went to town, did some shopping, pretended I didn't have kids(so much fun, flirting, and talking with casheirs)... just what I needed. now for the weekend, with just me n' the kids.... hmmmm..... have to think of a new activity to do... so we don't go cray-zzzee. I've really noticed recently, that if the kids are bored, thats when I have to worry about things being damaged. I'm going to try to purposely sit down with them often and do some "learning" together. I should start somewhere, hey? doing homeschool doesn't just start when H is 5.

it will pass, everything does.
majazama is offline  
#162 of 168 Old 09-30-2006, 10:35 AM
 
veganf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 7,963
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been sending my almost 4 year old to my mother's house 2-3 afternoons per week ever since she moved here in August. What a relief to only have two children in the house for a little while! Do all 4 year olds talk your ear off all day?!?!

milk donation : mother to Ryan (6), AJ (5), Nate (2), Maia (1) all born at home, I have a kid-friendly food & bento blog, : :
veganf is offline  
#163 of 168 Old 09-30-2006, 10:42 AM
 
eilonwy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Lost
Posts: 15,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
eilonwy is offline  
#164 of 168 Old 10-01-2006, 01:14 AM
 
saritasmile's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Spokane, Washington
Posts: 780
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Rynna, sorry you are having a rough time mama...hugs. YOu should try calling WIC and maybe they would get you another check, it couldn't hurt to try, you never know.

Jillmamma, Razi goes to preschool 3 days a week for a little over 4 hours each. It's right around the range of price you wrote about. It's comparable to the Montessori he went to last spring...seems like the going rate. It's been going well this time. 3 weeks now and he absolutely loves it. He hated the montessori I had him in before.
saritasmile is offline  
#165 of 168 Old 10-01-2006, 12:13 PM
 
**guest**'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: surrounded by water
Posts: 1,452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Rynna-
Krista- Ds babble's but still doesn't have much in the way of real conversations. I long for that day though.

Ds has become soooo sensitive. He cries at every little thing. If music sounds sad, he cries. If someone hurts themselves, he cries. If someone looks sad, he cries. He cries at the drop of a hat. No whiny cry...Just sad.
Anyone else's little one going through this?
**guest** is offline  
#166 of 168 Old 10-01-2006, 02:15 PM
 
eilonwy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Lost
Posts: 15,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Bean never did that, but BizzyBug did for aaages... of course, that was after several months of therapy to explain that when other people were crying, that meant that they were sad, and so on and so forth. It's fantastic, though, today she's very empathic and sensitive.

I'm feeling a bit better today. I'm thinking about the present and the future, and the scary "let's run away from home" feeling has passed. I'm still feeling pretty selfish, but I feel once again that Mike and the kids don't spend their days exclusively working to piss me off and make me feel unappreciated. I'm glad that I could post that on this thread without someone saying "Call a shrink right now, before you ruin your kids for life!!" You ladies rock.

I bought myself a pack of cloves, even though I really don't have cash to spare, because... well, because I don't have a good source for pot. It's better (and cheaper) than pot or a beer anyway, and I don't really feel like I'm wasting money if I have this pack around for a year and a half (the last pack I brought actually lasted about two years ). I'm not really a smoker, not even cloves, but it was nice to do something purely selfish. Of course it's hard to wrap my head around that when my girls are wheezing... I mean, I don't smoke around them (I can't imagine what Bean would say!! ) at all, but the idea that I'm doing something negative to my body when I'm working so hard to try to heal my girls is... well, it messees with me a bit.

I'm going on a serious elimination diet after Yom Kippur; nothing but brown rice for a week, and then slowly adding things back into my diet. It's going to be insane, so today I'm going to gorge myself. It's not a good time for it, because I won't have any food stamps until tomorrow (of course), and tomorrow I'll be fasting, but maybe I'll dig through the change and get myself a special treat. I dunno. I'm a bit messed up, I guess.

We had a major discussion about religion with Mike's dad and sister yesterday, the upshot being that they actively refuse to not preach their religion to the kids. So we won't be down there every weekend. It's a bummer, but if that's the way it's got to be, that's the way it's got to be. Mike's dad claimed that he wasn't being sneaky at all, that he had straight out told one or both of us that he was going to talk about Jesus with the kids. I said, "If you don't feel a need to sneak around behind my back, why is my kid coming home saying things that I know he learned from you? Why is it that you take them downstairs to do this, instead of bringing it up right in front of me? I call that 'sneaky,' and it's more than offensive; it's morally reprehensible." He just shook his head and claimed that I was "going against my own scriptures," because he dug up a verse saying that "you shall teach your children and your children's children." Nothing in that verse (or anywhere) says that grandparents should take precedence over parents when it comes to teaching children.

He said that they had to preach to kids because they believe that children are born sinful and that as they get older, their hearts become more firmly cemented in their sinful natures and that's why it's harder for them to accept salvation. What I heard was "My religion makes so little sense, I don't expect anyone over the age of 12 to be able to accept it," only with a sad, sentimental rationale. Okay, enough about that. The point: We're not going to be spending tons of time down there anymore. No breaks for me. We have to do what we have to do, though. That's that.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
eilonwy is offline  
#167 of 168 Old 10-01-2006, 04:42 PM
 
DecemberSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: The Valley of the Sun
Posts: 1,563
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Rynna- pig out girl! I bought some Halloween candy early and me and the kids have been sneaking Tootsie Rolls!!! Yum.

I didn't want to hi-jack Rynna's thread about forgiveness (check her sig) like everyone else did, so I am asking for it here. If I have ever said (or say) anything that offends anyone in this thread, I apologize.

I have my nephew all week while my parents are in Mexico. Hopefully it won't be too crazy here!!! We get to see Pink Floyd on Tuesday- we're taking Zach and Julianna and they are SO excited!

I think I am having a girl. I like Ivy, DH likes Isabella. Looks like poor Zachary may be the only boy after all...

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

Hubby guitar.gif, ds (11) REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, adopted dd (10) notes2.gif, dd (6) dust.gif, dd (1) femalesling.GIF & 3 foster dd's wheelchair.gif upsidedown.gif diaper.gif  

DecemberSun is offline  
#168 of 168 Old 10-02-2006, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
majazama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: mountains of bc
Posts: 4,493
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
started a new thread for October!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...30#post6180930

come one, come all, and lets have a party!
majazama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off