Help me make a behavior/chore/expectation chart for 8 yr. old - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-02-2006, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, so it's back to school time. I am going to make a chart for my 8 yr. old dd. We need to work on behavior (speaking without attitude, listening, etc) and I want to come up with a couple of chores for her to do around the house that will warrant a small allowance.

Do any of you mamas have charts for your kids? If so, what's included on them? Do your kids have "chores"? I also hate the word "chore". What do you call "responsibilities around the house"?

"While Eeyore frets ...and Piglet hesitates...and Rabbit calculates...and Owl pontificates...Pooh just is."
taken from The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
 
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Old 09-02-2006, 04:15 PM
 
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Moving this to Parenting...

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Old 09-02-2006, 05:48 PM
 
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My oldest two have chores. We call them "chores" and they each have their own chart.

They work together to empty the dishwasher and then have one task to complete each day. My 8yo wipes down the bathroom sink and toilet, dusts the living room, shakes rugs, and wipes down cupboards. My 12yo sweeps, vacuums living room and hallway (small house), cleans mirrors and screens (comp monitor and television) and...something else I can't think of right now. Every few months I try to change it up a bit so they get to do something different. They also get some input there. Cleaning mirrors and screens was previously my daughter's job and my son used to wipe down the bathroom sink and toilet.

I used the following link to create my chore charts and then cut and pasted into Word so I could manipulate it further.

http://www.dltk-cards.com/chart/

We don't give an allowance. I think we should start so we can teach them to manage money. If we did, it wouldn't be tied to chores. Our reasoning for assigned chores is to teach the task and to keep everyone pitching in to keep our house liveable. Ish.

hth
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Old 09-02-2006, 10:01 PM
 
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We don't tie responsibilities to allowance because it isn't optional to decide not to do them.

My suggestion is to sit down with your daugther and figure out with her some possible jobs. Kids cooperate better with systems they helped design. Some ideas: spray clean the dinner table, load the dishwasher, set the table, put away laundry, wipe out the sink, empty trash, dusting, etc.

If she doesn't already do the job I would expect that you need to teach her and walk her through how to do it.
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Old 09-02-2006, 10:31 PM
 
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We don't have a chore chart. My kids know that if they scatter things outside their rooms, they are expected to pick it up by the end of the day. Or if they spill something/otherwise make a mess, they need to clean it up or help clean it up. Pretty much, when things need to be done, we all pitch in to do it. My kids can use the carpet sweeper, feed the pets, do dishes, etc, when it's needed. They generally take care of their own rooms (I don't believe in "making" kids clean their rooms, but they do it eventually when they need to ). I do laundry (at my mom's when the kids are at their dad's), scoop the litterbox, and clean the bathroom, because I actually like cleaning the bathroom. Other than that we share.
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Old 09-03-2006, 04:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roar
We don't tie responsibilities to allowance because it isn't optional to decide not to do them.


Also, about the "attitude" you can try, but by making a big deal out of it you often make the issue way worse. Why not just ignore it? Why do you feel the need to "work on it"?
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Old 09-03-2006, 04:49 AM
 
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Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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Old 09-03-2006, 09:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roar
We don't tie responsibilities to allowance because it isn't optional to decide not to do them.
Same here. We are all part of the family and we are all expected to do our part to keep the house running smoothly.

We call them jobs instead of chores and we do not have a job chart. They know what is expected of them and I will remind them if I need to.

My 8 year old does the following:
Scoops the cat litter (alternates weeks with his sister)
Wipes down the rim of the toilet bowl
Empties his garbage can
Takes out the recycling/trash
Sorts laundry
empties the dishwasher

Daily expectations:
Clean up after yourself. You take something out-you put it away when done.
Bring own dishes to dishwasher (the dish fairy does not live here)
Put dirty clothes in the hamper when you change.

Kathy-Mom to Blake & Mikaela
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Old 09-03-2006, 04:42 PM
 
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This is what my SIL did for her boys and I am going to do for mine. She got a plain piece of wood and put all 3 of her boys names at the bottome of it then she went to the craft store and got some stickers to decorate it then did some deco-podge over the top of it got a bunch of beads and the elastic streach string and made a big loop around each name for every job the boys do around the house they earn one bead. If they ask to do extra jobs to help out they can earn extra points. It goes from 0 to like 500. the boys have to save beads up to 500 points once they have the 500 points they get a special day with just Dad or Mom and can do what ever they want be in movie and lunch or going to the dollar store. Getting legos and making a special project with just dad or mom. Picking out fabric for a quilt then helping mom put it together. They know they have certin jobs they have to do every day make beds, read for at least 10 min every night plus reg homework. They still get a regular allowence every week too but they have to put 10% of it in the bank for savings. The point system helps out lots with their family because the kids are working for the goal of going out for a special day with just dad or mom to them selfs the middle boy will sometimes ask to take his brothers too because they are his best friends & he dosn't want them to be sad they don't get the alone time with dad or mom too. And when he goes by himself he always brings home treats for his brothers too
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Old 09-03-2006, 06:42 PM
 
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Moving this to Childhood Years

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Old 09-04-2006, 02:13 AM
 
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My 7 (almost 8) year old refuses to do anything till recently. We got him to keep his room clean, if he does he gets 5 dollars at the end of the week and so far its working. I hate using money to make him clean but its all we had to work with.
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Old 09-05-2006, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the input mamas.

So far this is what I have for the chart:
  • homework will be complete & bath done before freetime (t.v. or computer)
  • I will read for at least 15 minutes each night (alone or with mama)
  • I will speak in a normal tone & use respectful language
  • chore - make sure cats have food & water daily
  • chore - make bed daily
  • chore - pick up toys off floor daily

I think I have decided to not connect a monetary award to expected behavior. Maybe after a certain amount of days dd can pick a night for an extended bedtime.

"While Eeyore frets ...and Piglet hesitates...and Rabbit calculates...and Owl pontificates...Pooh just is."
taken from The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
 
 check out my children's room in the library:  Hampton Bays Public Library Children's Room  http://hbaychildroom.blogspot.com/ 
 
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Old 09-05-2006, 11:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katybear mama
Okay, so it's back to school time. I am going to make a chart for my 8 yr. old dd. We need to work on behavior (speaking without attitude, listening, etc) and I want to come up with a couple of chores for her to do around the house that will warrant a small allowance.

Do any of you mamas have charts for your kids? If so, what's included on them? Do your kids have "chores"? I also hate the word "chore". What do you call "responsibilities around the house"?
I did this earlier this year. My 8 yr. old's attitude had just gotten OUT of CONTROL! His mouth, his inability to accept no for an answer, etc. and it didn't help that we were living in Ecuador and everyone around us always thought I was so mean because of how I talked in English - they only spoke Spanish. So, one day I sat down and wrote out all the things that I don't like about his behavior. Then I wrote down a star chart and for each row there was a behavior that was opposite of what I don't like. For example, cleaning up after yourself without prompting, peacefully accepting no, etc. Then i decided how I could reward him...I made it EXTREMELY easy to earn a star for example saying please and thank you - signs of respect. And I decided that certain things could be earned by stars. 10 stars equaled 20 minutes of video game or tv. 15 stars is an ice cream bar - we lived in a town famous for homemade ice cream cicles. He could use his stars as he wished because there were several options. I also had to make a note to myself to not take any stars away. He could earn them or not earn more of them but i couldn't take them back. hope this helps.c

Mom to DS (16), DD (7), DS (5), and excitedenergy.gif about my final baby due October 2014. Love fluffy mailheartbeat.gif, appreciate midwives, and can't wait to wear a baby againjoy.gif!
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Old 09-05-2006, 11:54 PM
 
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My kids are younger (6 and 4) but I am already running into a lot of the "attitude" problems others are mentioning. I couldnt keep up with a chart. I implemented a token system. Every day the girls can earn tokens for good behavior such as sharing, working through conflicts without violence, and helping with chores. They can spend the tokens on rewards, which I make fairly cheap such as tv or computer time, library trips, etc. They can also save up for a big event. They can also choose to spend tokens on negative behavior such as hitting, fighting, non-cooperation, back talk, the list goes on. Those are pricey. When the girls are out of tokens, they have to do something to earn some more. They have to have a minimum balance of 5 tokens. Before I ask for tokens for negative behavior, I always give a warning and a choice. i.e. "I have answered no to the same question three times. You can now choose to let it go and accept my answer, or you can choose to pay me 2 tokens." I've seen Supernanny do essentially the same thing but used fake flower stems stuck into a bucket of sand.
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Old 09-06-2006, 08:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kangamom
They can also choose to spend tokens on negative behavior such as hitting, fighting, non-cooperation, back talk, the list goes on. Those are pricey. When the girls are out of tokens, they have to do something to earn some more. They have to have a minimum balance of 5 tokens. Before I ask for tokens for negative behavior, I always give a warning and a choice. i.e. "I have answered no to the same question three times. You can now choose to let it go and accept my answer, or you can choose to pay me 2 tokens." I've seen Supernanny do essentially the same thing but used fake flower stems stuck into a bucket of sand.
I love this token system! I will try it out.

Mom to DS (16), DD (7), DS (5), and excitedenergy.gif about my final baby due October 2014. Love fluffy mailheartbeat.gif, appreciate midwives, and can't wait to wear a baby againjoy.gif!
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