How do I get help for my 5yo? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 04-01-2003, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I won't bore you with too many details but my lovely 5 year old son has behaviour that is becoming more and more difficult. Since he was little I have searched on-line and read books. Through these sources I have managed to work with his behaviour and keep things in perspective. But now I am just worn out and my DH is too. I really do not want too much intervention with my precious baby but I feel expert help may be needed now.

He has been AP'd since birth. His behaviour seems like it is similar to tactile disorders or SID.

Where do I start? Do I visit my regular doctor and outline my concerns? Do I write a list of what my concerns are? HELP?

I feel like walking into the doctors office will be so difficult and scarey. Please offer any advice and help if you can.

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#2 of 9 Old 04-02-2003, 06:55 AM
 
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I am so sorry.

I don't know anything about your ds's condition, but before you check out a medical doctor, check out alternative medicine. In my city, there is a whole weekly magazine devoted to alternative medicine with lots of advertisement by practicioners. I understand your hesitation to run to an md, but I would use it as a last resort. They really can do too much intervention.
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#3 of 9 Old 04-02-2003, 02:04 PM
 
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Depending on how your insurance works and wether you are comfortable going to your school district, you have a few options. (Luckily, sensory integration issues are not something commonly medicated, so I would not be concerned about that with the doctor)
One would be to go straight to a pediatric Occupational Therapist (with a background in sensory integration) for an evaluation.

You could go to your ped (and I do think that a written outline of your concerns as well as what you think the problem is, is a good idea) and ask for a referral- either to an Occupational Therapist or a specialist like a developmental ped or psychologist. TYry to think of the doctor as a partner in your child care- you do not have to follow his suggestions or advice, as the parent you have the last say.

If your child is in the public school system, or you feel comfortable going to them, you can ask that they have him evaluated due to your concerns.
Get yourself a copy of The Out of Sync Child.
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#4 of 9 Old 04-02-2003, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just reading those two replies has made me feel so much better. I am going to look into alternative options if there are any in my area. I am also going to talk with the school teachers today and outline my worries.

Thank you so much. Just reading that someone cares has helped me already.
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#5 of 9 Old 04-02-2003, 11:28 PM
 
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"your out of sync child".... if i remember rightly there was a questionaire in it similar to what the specialist would give you.
this is a good book to read.
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#6 of 9 Old 04-05-2003, 08:29 PM
 
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Keep track of symptoms and what behavior interventions you use that work and do not. This will be important when your ds enters school.
Also, a child's therapist or MSW specializing in children's disorders may be a thought. Someone who will have time to listen to you and help you with your son rather than an MD who (God love them) thinks they can "fix" what ever is wrong.
Your school should have some recommendations for you through their special education coop or dept.
Good luck to you, I know this all can be so scary. There really are a lot of good, caring people who will listen and want to help.
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#7 of 9 Old 04-05-2003, 09:37 PM
 
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I posted something like this yesterday about my dd. I think it was called "help for my dd". I talked to an occupational therapist today who had some great informatins

She said this is becoming more and more recognized and the treatments are improving everyday and are generally very effective and children generally enjoy the tratments (she mentioned a lot of swinging )

she said I wasn't crazy, that my dd sounds like a textbook case and using this diagnosis was not a copout for bad parenting and I don't need to feel guilty about making my child this way because it is not my fault. All things I really needed to hear.

ois there a school/hospital in your area that specializes in childrens with learning/mental/physical disabiliteies? There is one here called "Children's Care Hospital and School" which has some of the best OT and PT in the nation and said I shoudl just walk right into thier outpatient center and ask for help.

I am still trying to get ahold of the "Out of Sync Child" but we are broke right now and the library doesn't have it.

Good luck. This is such a frustrating thing. I know it has driven me to just about the end of my rope and everuyone in my family is starting to suffer from it. Don't forget to take time for yourself and take care of yourself.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#8 of 9 Old 04-06-2003, 01:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am in New Zealand but the advice you have given should be somewhat relevant.

The first step I took the day I posted this was to talk to his classroom teachers. They claim he is fine at school but prone to tears easily. When I asked what this meant they told me that that day was a good day, he didn't cry about his school work in the afternoon. I was shocked and asked how often he'd been crying in the afternoons. They told me for at least two weeks. This was news to me and I was very angry that I was the one who approached them and they did not tell me this earlier.

I am still working with the teachers about this basic problem whilst looking into some options healthwise and with therapists. It is a slow process. Thank you so much for all your advice. I am going to search out the out of sync child, asap.

You are all so kind and have made me feel less alone! Cheers.


PS. "lilyka" I just love the names of your children, they are so pretty.
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#9 of 9 Old 04-06-2003, 05:54 PM
 
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Oh thanks

My dd has more trouble coping in the afternoons than in the mornings. It like she can on;y take so much in a day and when she if full it is just over. no more coping for us . I can't believe the teacher didn't tell you he was having such a hard time.

If you go to amazon.com and look under "the out of sync child", they have a exerpt that talks about the different ways this can manifest itself.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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