What's the funniest thing your child has said lately? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 191 Old 10-01-2006, 06:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by smlwieber View Post
Been watching MagicSchool bus lately??

Here is the best one from my 3 yo... taken from http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=525374

My 3 year old is wearing his winter toque around....he had put his little soccer ball, his light up ball and his red ball in the hat...then he put the whole hat in his pants..walked over to me holding the hat in his pants and said...

wait for it..















where are my balls

:
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#62 of 191 Old 10-01-2006, 06:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Elyra View Post
My children have said some doozies!

Just the other day one of the younger ones was having a very loud emotional discussion with himself (aka: a tantrum ) in the middle of the kitchen floor impeading the way for anyone walking by. So I picked him up to move him 2 feet into the dinning room where he could finish his discussion with himself. I picked him up like he was a turtle because he was all balled up and all of the sudden he yells:

PUT. ME. DOWN! I am probably dangerous!
:
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#63 of 191 Old 10-01-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by crazycandigirl View Post
While visting family out of town, and eating dinner with everyone gathered around the table talking, my mom asked me if we liked the hotel.

My DD cut in saying

" Its great! you know the best thing is the big bubbly bathtub! and you know what the coolest thing is!"

(she paused here and beamed at me and her daddy)

"Its big enough for mommy and daddy to have sex in!"

I turned red, my sister in law choked on her food, and my grandma was shocked. I swear that we didnt say anything like that in front of her- she came up with it on her own! LOL

Oh goodness she really knows how to make an impression.
:
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#64 of 191 Old 10-01-2006, 06:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am loving these! What great kids we have.

One from my niece this weekend, while playing house with my DS:

"I don't WANT to be the grandma. Grandmas are old and wrinkly."

And my son just came to me with a light saber a couple hours ago and said, "I don't know why this says not to hit people or animals with it. I just hit myself in the forehead with it twice, and it didn't hurt even one little bit."
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#65 of 191 Old 10-01-2006, 06:20 PM
 
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I am pregnant and my 3 yr old son is very curious about it. I was eating lunch the other day and he asked me if the baby gets food all over it when I eat. Then when I was in the tub he asked if the baby gets wet when I take a bath.

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#66 of 191 Old 10-01-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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My son is only speaking single words right now, so I have nothing to add to this thread, but I am subbing because it is hilarious!

Proud mom to superhero.gifds2 (7/05), angel2.gif ds 1 (born into heaven at 38 weeks 11/03), and 5 more angels angel.gif (4/02) angel.gif (7/10) angel.gifangel.gif (11/10) angel.gif (11/12)

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#67 of 191 Old 10-01-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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this morning, as she jumped on me repeatedly, my three year old was saying this over and over again:

"mommy, I don't like you!!"

she waited a couple of seconds

"ohhh, sorry, sorry, I'm sorry!" and she smothered me with hugs and kisses. Two minutes later she looks at me, gets an evil look on her face, and said "I don't like you again!!!" and started giggling hysterically.
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#68 of 191 Old 10-02-2006, 10:32 AM
 
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When my dd was 3, she experienced her first wedgie--and this is how she described it:

"My pants are way too up and my bum is way too down!"

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#69 of 191 Old 10-02-2006, 10:43 AM
 
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Quote:
"My pants are way too up and my bum is way too down!"
That's a good one!
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#70 of 191 Old 10-09-2006, 11:55 AM
 
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This weekend we were at a wedding. Immediatly afterward, my 5 yr-old neice said, "Well that was a waste of time!"

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#71 of 191 Old 10-09-2006, 12:06 PM
 
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This weekend, we were walking in the woods in our backyard, talking about the best way to clear some branches and make a path to a stream back there. Ds (6) suggested, "We should rent a beaver to chew through all of those logs." Good concept!
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#72 of 191 Old 10-09-2006, 01:03 PM
 
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My nephew had some gnats flying around his ear, said "these flies are hurting me!" mom replied "no, they're just irritating you," a moment later they were near his eye, he said "mommy, now they're eyeitating me!!!"

When mom was nursing my little brother, nephew asked what she was doing, she said feeding the baby, "whatcha feeding him?" "milk" nephew asked "....is the other one juice?"
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#73 of 191 Old 10-09-2006, 02:36 PM
 
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This weekend, my 7 1/2 year old was telling me about something or other, and referred to me as "dude."

I said, laughing, "Did you just call me dude?"

He stopped and said. "Oh, I meant dudette."

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#74 of 191 Old 10-09-2006, 02:54 PM
 
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Love this thread, it just made my day a bit brighter
I have two:

Ds (3), from his stroller, as we approach one of our elderly neighbours on the sidewalk: "Watch out for that old man!"

After I had explained as best I could how and why ds2 was born by CS, he thought for a minute, then asked: "Mama, when I was born, was your tummy broken too?"

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06) trying to figure out what to do after 5 losses
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#75 of 191 Old 10-09-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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Oh my goodness. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!

It was my birthday yesterday so my sister was over and we were all eating tamales at the dinner table. Her boyfriend showed up right in the middle of dinner, so we invited him to sit down and eat. After a moment, my son, who will be three on Halloween looked at him and said:

"After you eat, you have to go home."

Very matter-of-fact. His reasoning was that it was dark outside and everyone needed to be home when it's dark.

I LOVE this thread.
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#76 of 191 Old 10-11-2006, 09:57 AM
 
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We just spent a week traveling and with family of all sorts where my children met all sorts of relatives they didn't know they had. My "probably dangerous" one was a bit stand offish for the first few moments of meeting anyone. So everyone had been asking him if he was shy.

Yesterday as we were driving home we stopped to eat a fast food place with a play place. While he was sitting and eating one of the older women who worked there was cleaning up the play area and he shouts as loud as he can to her "Excuse me! Excuse me! I'm being shy."
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#77 of 191 Old 10-11-2006, 10:09 AM
 
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My 5 year old dd has been really interested in "Growing" things and planting seeds to grow them etc...

We went to grab a burger, and on the burger were sesame seeds. She looked at Dh & I so seriously and said "Ya know, I think I will take some seeds off of my bun and plant them, so I can grow some bread!"

We had to explain that one
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#78 of 191 Old 10-11-2006, 10:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mummy marja View Post
This weekend we were at a wedding. Immediatly afterward, my 5 yr-old neice said, "Well that was a waste of time!"
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#79 of 191 Old 10-11-2006, 10:22 AM
 
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Another from my 5 year old dd...

We were talking a few days ago, and the convo went something like this:

Me: Abby, do you think you will have babies when you grow up?!

Dd: Maybe. I have to get married first. Like you and daddy!

Me: Well you don't HAVE to be married to have a baby, but it is good if you are I guess.
Mommy & Daddy were not married when we had Erik & Alex.

Dd: Were you married when you had me?

Me: Yep! We were married when we had you, but we weren't when we had the boys....

Dd: OH! I get it, so you only have to be married if you want a GIRL baby!
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#80 of 191 Old 10-11-2006, 04:44 PM
 
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Ds was listening to a Christmas dvd (I know, don't ask me why) where they sing the "good tidings to you and your kin" thing. He asked what kin meant, and I said it's like family, people close to you.
His face lit up as he exclaimed: "We're a kin!" and hugged dh and me

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06) trying to figure out what to do after 5 losses
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#81 of 191 Old 10-11-2006, 06:59 PM
 
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just now, while cuddling at the computer, "i'm petting your boobies!"

and she was
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#82 of 191 Old 10-11-2006, 07:51 PM
 
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My little boy was nursing on the right breast...quite loudly too...high-pitched kind of squealing/slurping sounds.
He stopped and said, "Um, Mom...this one needs oil. It's squeaking."
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#83 of 191 Old 10-12-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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oh i forgot about the conversation dd had with my dad.

DD- look at the leaf!

Gpa- Who makes the leaves?

DD- I don't know.

Gpa- God makes the leaves.

DD- God? I never met him!
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#84 of 191 Old 10-12-2006, 01:02 PM
 
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Okay, I thoguht I'd share this conversation a friend's 4 yo DD had with her - her DD has had several major heart operations to correct birth defects.

DD - Mommy, is god extinct?
Mom - huh?
DD - At school we talked about how the dinasaurs aren't around anymore so they are extinct. God isn't around, is he extinct?
Mom - No, God is in your heart
DD - Really? Did the doctors see him when they were in there?

The poor mom as if she didn't have enough to go through with the surgeries, her daughter just doesn't doesn't miss a beat!

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
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#85 of 191 Old 10-12-2006, 01:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supahero View Post
I was nursing the baby, when my non-verbal almost-3 year old came up and kept handing me his sippy cup for more water. I kept saying "you have to wait, sweetie", "just a minute" etc. My daughter walked over and holding my leather-bound diary said, "according to my research, when someone is breastfeeding - you have to wait."
omg that is hilarious!
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#86 of 191 Old 10-12-2006, 02:05 PM
 
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Last night M wanted me to time her while she jumped to see how long she could stay airborne. I said, "Almost a second." She frowned and said, "I sure don't like gravity very much."

~Beth, mama to two amazing girls, ages 12 and 6~

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#87 of 191 Old 10-13-2006, 02:03 AM
 
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The other day I was cleaning my son after a particularly messy diaper and he learned the word "scrotum." He thought it was the funniest word ever. Then he said, "Scrotum. Scrotum. Can we have risotto for dinner?"
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#88 of 191 Old 10-13-2006, 02:24 PM
 
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My son, age 3.5, was telling me about motorcycles. He was really into the descriptions and what he was telling me, and in excitement started talking about the 'mud across' racing. Because, you know, they get mud all across them.

Mud across = motocross



Best part - I have NO IDEA where he picked this up. Mythbusters, maybe? Anyway, I about died in laughter!
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#89 of 191 Old 10-13-2006, 05:04 PM
 
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my three year old dd was helping me go through her old baby clothes, and as I carried some big boxes from the garage into the house she said "I can't imagine working so hard, because I'm just a little imp!" later that same day I got off the phone after a irritating call and said "pain in the butt" and she said "you're a pain in the butt!" I laughed and responded in kind, and she said "you're a pain in two butts!" I cracked up!
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#90 of 191 Old 10-13-2006, 05:25 PM
 
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My friend is a nanny and one of her kids got out of the shower yesterday, rubbed his shins and said he needed lotion for this part of him.

Nanny: Do you know what that part's called?

4year old: No

Nanny: It's your shins

4year old: OK I need some lotion for my shin and my baby cows (his calves).



Lori, mom to Elise 6/06, Ivy 4/08 and pos.gif 12/11
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