What's the funniest thing your child has said lately? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-19-2006, 08:19 PM
 
Fiestabeth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,520
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post
Okay, so ds2 came up with one today I have to share.

I took him to the midwife for my 20 week check-up and he came in the bathroom with me while I collected my urine sample and watched while I gave it to a nurse in a plastic cup.

He then chatted nicely with the midwife and quietly listened to the babies heartbeat before the midwife asked him "Do you have any questions for me" to which ds replied "Yes, when are you going to drink my mom's pee"

BJ
Barney & Ben
OMG!! I just spit on the computer screen my laugh came out so hard! :

~Beth, mama to two amazing girls, ages 12 and 6~

Fiestabeth is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-19-2006, 08:26 PM
 
a-sorta-fairytale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hangin' with the raisin girls
Posts: 5,060
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
I so needed this today! These are great!

The one i have is from today. We are i target shopping and dd sees all these padded bras:
DD (2.5 years) "whats those mommy?"
me Those are bras
dd "for you boobs?"
me "for your nursies"
dd loudly "dad doesnt like nursies but he does like boobs!"
me "hey look at that cool shirt" trying desperatly to distract
dd "yeah thats nice...bras are for nipples!"

Then an older lady walks up to look at the rack next to us

DD "daddy REALLLLLLY likes NIPPLES!!!"

Lady smirks

Lady says to dd "you are a pretty little girl"
dd "yup, and you are not"
lady "are you shopping with your mommy?"
dd "MOOOOOOOM i dont want to talk to that old lady she is BAD!!!!"

Lovely
a-sorta-fairytale is online now  
Old 10-19-2006, 08:57 PM
 
a-sorta-fairytale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hangin' with the raisin girls
Posts: 5,060
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post
Okay, so ds2 came up with one today I have to share.

I took him to the midwife for my 20 week check-up and he came in the bathroom with me while I collected my urine sample and watched while I gave it to a nurse in a plastic cup.

He then chatted nicely with the midwife and quietly listened to the babies heartbeat before the midwife asked him "Do you have any questions for me" to which ds replied "Yes, when are you going to drink my mom's pee"

BJ
Barney & Ben




I am in a study where i take a daily urine sample, put them in the garage freezer and bring them in weekly. DD (2.5 years) knows we bring it to the hosp once a week and give it to the doctor. She named him "dr peepee" And when we walk into the crowded hosp she always yells "helllooo Dr PEEPEE!" His mom (i think she is in her late 80's) got such a kick out of the story she had a plaque made for him that says "dr peepee"
a-sorta-fairytale is online now  
Old 10-19-2006, 09:50 PM
 
Stayseeliz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: South Carolina, Y'ALL!!
Posts: 4,324
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Today in the car my 2.5yo said "Mama, I like cars and spaghetti. That's all."

Don't know where that came from but it made me laugh!!

Stacey reading.gif Happy wife to Rick coolshine.gif ,homeschooling Mama to Jacob, Noel, Joanna jumpers.gif  and a sweet stork-girl.gif due in the Spring!
Stayseeliz is offline  
Old 10-19-2006, 10:09 PM
 
Maple Leaf Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Over the edge and into the abyss
Posts: 2,318
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dh just told me this.

Last night DH was trying to get a hotel on price line. He was in the process of trying to pay for it. He couldn't make out the last 3 digits on the back of his card-they had worn off. After his third attempt,DH kinda cursed under his breath and DD asked what was wrong.
He said his card wasn't working.
She went over to her cash register and got her (exact replica American Express that came in the mail-says "your name here") and said-
Thats OK Daddy, you can use mine.

AAAAAAHHHH!
Maple Leaf Mama is offline  
Old 10-19-2006, 10:37 PM
 
Stayseeliz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: South Carolina, Y'ALL!!
Posts: 4,324
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama View Post
Dh just told me this.

Last night DH was trying to get a hotel on price line. He was in the process of trying to pay for it. He couldn't make out the last 3 digits on the back of his card-they had worn off. After his third attempt,DH kinda cursed under his breath and DD asked what was wrong.
He said his card wasn't working.
She went over to her cash register and got her (exact replica American Express that came in the mail-says "your name here") and said-
Thats OK Daddy, you can use mine.

AAAAAAHHHH!



If only that worked!! I'd have a whole new wardrobe!!

Stacey reading.gif Happy wife to Rick coolshine.gif ,homeschooling Mama to Jacob, Noel, Joanna jumpers.gif  and a sweet stork-girl.gif due in the Spring!
Stayseeliz is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 12:25 AM
 
Kleine Hexe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 6,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DS has a cold and doesn't feel very well. He told me that "his whole brain hurts."
Kleine Hexe is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,592
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And another one from my DS last night...

DS (yelling from his room): Mama, why did you take my bop bag out of my room?

Me: I didn't--

DS: Oh, here it is! Sorry! I was out of my mind!

(I'm assuming he meant to say, "Never mind"...)
becoming is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 10:13 PM
 
cdmaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: The mountains of California
Posts: 704
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd (2 and a half) is starting to pick up what we say too much (our fault- not hers).

She's started to say crap quite a bit. Like "ah mommy- theres crap in my bed", or "Mommy- my ponys has to crap now"

The funniest thing is my 5 yo son- he started putting his thumb in his mouth and then blowing hard to fill up his cheek, thus popping out his thumb. He was doing this so much, I was starting to worry it was a tick or something. I'd ask him why he was doing it and he'd sort of shrug.

Finally, I saw him doing it when dh was around- and I pointed it out. "See! He's doing it again!"

Dh shook his head and laughed a little. "Hey bud--- what are you doing?"

"Remember dad? Remember when I hit the tree when I was sledding?" Ds asked.

Well, DH burst out laughing. Last winter, ds was sledding down our hill and ran into a tree- hurting his groin pretty bad for the first time. Apparently Dh told him to blow on his thumb like this to "pop his nuts back out".

"Dad, " ds continues "I'm just poppin my nuts."

Great.
cdmaze is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 10:16 PM
 
Bartock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,684
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mom, where is Caillou penis?

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=543036
Bartock is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 11:43 PM
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
My six-year-old has really been nurturing her baby sister (nineteen months) this evening. She's been cradling her in her lap and warming her up with a blanket. A few moments ago they lay side by side across the seat of the easy chair and my oldest said, "Look, Mommy: we're already showing sister-love!"

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
mammal_mama is offline  
Old 10-21-2006, 12:44 AM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,638
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 85 Post(s)
My 8 year old came up and told me what food she and her sister were taking upstairs, what they were playing blah blah blah, and then said,

"I just wanted to keep you in the loop."

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is online now  
Old 10-21-2006, 05:02 PM
 
adamsfam07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Northern Ca.
Posts: 313
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have 3 boys Kaleb 8yrs, Jacob 5yrs and Caeden 3mo. Anyway, Kaleb came to me the other day and said that Caeden really looks up to him and Jacob, I replied yes his does and always will. He said "yes but he'll always look up to me more because I'm the tallest"

Atara wife to Joseph mom to Kaleb and Jacob : Caeden Ashlyn : and our angel baby ,:,
adamsfam07 is offline  
Old 10-21-2006, 08:08 PM
 
tatangel19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the NoVa jungle and longing for wilderness
Posts: 391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Between DD 1 and DSS yest in car DD:so you went on a date? DSS No, I just rode bikes with her. DD: So what's the difference? DSS You go different stuff on a date. And you really like the other person. DD: So you don't like her? DSS No I like her DD So it was a date? DSS NO!!! DD.......So are you gay? :
tatangel19 is offline  
Old 10-22-2006, 02:49 PM
 
M_of_M's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 661
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 3.5 year old:

I took a very good picture of dd yesterday and showed it to her on my camera. She looked at it and said: "Oh my God, I am sooo beautiful!!!"

We went to a zoo. The next day at breakfast I wanted to review with her all the animals that we saw there. So, I asked her to name them. She did. At night, I wanted to review it again and asked her whether she can name the animals for mommy again. She said: "Mom...I can't believe you forgot everything already!!!"

DD knows that she is not allowed to put dolls or sit herself in ds's infant car seat because it is CLEAN. She was playing with the doll and I overheard her conversation: "Oh, (doll's name), I know you really want to sit in baby's car seat. But mommy does not allow that because it has to stay very clean. But you know what? If baby will burp or poop in it, then we will quickly sit in it too before mom will clean it up again".

I went with my mother and dd to a clothing store to get some suits. I tried a few on and my mom commented whether it was good, bad, wrong colour, wrong fit, etc. Then she went to the bathroom while I was left with ds. I decided to try on a blouse and when I did I said outloud that I don't really like it. My dd then said: "hold on, mom. Turn around. (I did). She said "You know what...(then a pause)...it fits you just perfectly".

We have a tenant in the basement and we often call him "tenant" and not by name. My friend was asking dd about everyone's names and asked what's tenant's name. DD answered: "What do you mean, what his name is? His name is "Tenant"!"

A few days after ds was just born, grandfather called and talked to DD and asked her how ds was doing. She said: "He is fine. He has been born already".

Oh, boy...I can go on and on as I have at least 30-50 more of those super sayings.
M_of_M is offline  
Old 10-22-2006, 02:59 PM
 
KaraBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Alb-uh-kirk-ee
Posts: 4,481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When our sitter arrived recently, I was telling her a story about how someone was really rude to me. My DD got huffy and said, "Like, what about (insert air quotes)The Manners?"
KaraBoo is offline  
Old 10-23-2006, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,592
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquadaughter View Post
I've got a good one that I said when I was seven.

me, straight-faced, very matter-of-factly: I am as tall as many adult midgets.

Mom, holding back laughter: Oh, really?!

Now that I look back, It's hysterical!!

:
becoming is offline  
Old 10-23-2006, 02:53 PM
 
fiddledebi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Evanston, IL
Posts: 1,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here was our dinner conversation the other night:

DD2, age 1: YYYEEEEEEAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
DH: Hey, Little Shmoo. Come on, stop screaming. Pterodactyls are extinct!
DD1, age 4: Yeah, Shmoo! Pterodactyls STINK!!!


And then, in the bathroom:

DD1, age 4: Mommy, you have hair on your vulva.
Me: Yes, that happens to girls when they grow up and become women.
DD1: Will I get hair there?
Me: Yep.
DD1: Will it be brown like yours?
Me: Probably.
DD1: Is every woman's vulva hair brown?
Me: No, some women's vulva hair is blond, or red, or black.
DD1: Oooh, Mommy, I know...I want mine to be pink!
fiddledebi is offline  
Old 10-23-2006, 03:04 PM
 
a-sorta-fairytale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hangin' with the raisin girls
Posts: 5,060
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiddledebi View Post

And then, in the bathroom:

DD1, age 4: Mommy, you have hair on your vulva.
Me: Yes, that happens to girls when they grow up and become women.
DD1: Will I get hair there?
Me: Yep.
DD1: Will it be brown like yours?
Me: Probably.
DD1: Is every woman's vulva hair brown?
Me: No, some women's vulva hair is blond, or red, or black.
DD1: Oooh, Mommy, I know...I want mine to be pink!
Hey me too!
a-sorta-fairytale is online now  
Old 10-26-2006, 07:07 AM
 
MamaDeLiana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 19
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Near the baggage claim at the airport in a city we were visiting, a lady started chatting with 4yo DD about where we were from. Then she asked, "Are you a good flier?" DD replied, "Well, we came on an *airplane,* but I do have wings at home."
MamaDeLiana is offline  
Old 10-26-2006, 07:50 AM
 
lissabob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Medford,OR
Posts: 607
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Meleah's most recent obsession- the hokey pokey. (Dang backyardigans!) Anyways, she'll insist I get up and start sing/chanting it-
You put your lef foot in, you put it out, you put your lef foot in, you put it out, you do the HOLEY IN THE POKEY and you turn yourself around...

It's SO cute. She's ALWAYS coming back at me with things that I never remember to write down, but I swear it's like having a teenager in the house instead of a 3 yo!
lissabob is offline  
Old 10-26-2006, 09:47 AM
 
Annings1361's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH, DD and I were walking home after playing in Central Park. DD saw DH sweating from the summer heat and announced very loudly on the busy city sidewalk, "My daddy is HOT!"

That got a few head-turns.
Annings1361 is offline  
Old 10-26-2006, 10:46 AM
 
1xmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: MD
Posts: 1,774
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Me: Hurry, up before a care comes (as we are crossing the street by a liquor store).

Her: Mommy, no one ever goes in there.

Me: Well, sometimes people go in there. It is a liqour store.

Her: Eww, what do they "lick" in there?
1xmom is offline  
Old 10-26-2006, 10:53 AM
 
Elyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 443
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1xmom View Post
Me: Hurry, up before a care comes (as we are crossing the street by a liquor store).

Her: Mommy, no one ever goes in there.

Me: Well, sometimes people go in there. It is a liqour store.

Her: Eww, what do they "lick" in there?
That's fantastic!
Elyra is offline  
Old 10-26-2006, 11:37 AM
 
lisalou's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,568
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Mommy, I want red book and tampon."

Seriously regretting ever "drawing" the cover of a book with a tampon to amuse dd on the ride home.

This past weekend when dd tried on princess costume she declared, "I'm adorable! Daddy, I'm adorable!"
lisalou is offline  
Old 10-26-2006, 11:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,592
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS (5) got a new toy this past weekend, and my niece (5) ran into the room and said, "What is it?" DS held it up, and she goes, "My God, let's play with it."
becoming is offline  
Old 10-27-2006, 12:25 AM
 
mackysmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: SHHH... I'm reading Harry Potter
Posts: 1,665
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I finally have something to add!

My DS (4) recently started preschool at a Methodist church. It is his first exposure to Christianity.

DS: Mama, today at school, Ms. XXX told us not to say "Oh God" because it is taking the Lord's name in vein (went on to explain what that meant and that it wasn't him that said it - phew)
ME: You sometimes say "Oh God" when you are frustrated, what could you say instead?
DS: Damn it!

That's my boy!

We settled on "Oh Geez"
mackysmama is offline  
Old 10-27-2006, 12:47 AM
 
lisac77's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3,191
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mackysmama View Post
I finally have something to add!

My DS (4) recently started preschool at a Methodist church. It is his first exposure to Christianity.

DS: Mama, today at school, Ms. XXX told us not to say "Oh God" because it is taking the Lord's name in vein (went on to explain what that meant and that it wasn't him that said it - phew)
ME: You sometimes say "Oh God" when you are frustrated, what could you say instead?
DS: Damn it!

That's my boy!

We settled on "Oh Geez"
Oh, man! All these are funny, but this one really had me :
lisac77 is offline  
Old 10-27-2006, 02:43 AM
 
Stacymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,853
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My two girls ages three and five, were upstairs and it was time for a bath. I told the girls that they needed to get undressed and ready for the bath. My oldest looked at me and said "Why do we need to take bath, Mom? Do we smell like boys?"

:

I have bo idea where she learned that....

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
Stacymom is offline  
Old 10-27-2006, 03:36 PM
 
fiddledebi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Evanston, IL
Posts: 1,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mackysmama View Post
ME: You sometimes say "Oh God" when you are frustrated, what could you say instead?
DS: Damn it!

That's my boy!

We settled on "Oh Geez"
Ha! DH and I started self-censoring our much-more-colorful expletives when DD1 was born, and the two of us settled on a Homer Simpson "D'oh!!!" You should have seen my brother almost swallow his tongue laughing when DD1, age 18 months, dropped something and said, with perfect inflection, "D'OHH!!!"
fiddledebi is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off