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#121 of 160 Old 11-19-2006, 03:59 AM
 
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okayokay, i bought it already. love you gals so much. i will rationalize that we have spent less than 10 dollars at the thrift store on the 30 plus ponies she has. i hate having to think about money! got to hurry up and wrap it and guess i will hide it in the truck. it is huge.

so i killed the thread, huh? or is that weekend/holiday season busy thing?
i had a great evening, even with reed losing his wallet with all his money (60). i almost started yelling when we walked to the parking lot to make sure it wasn't in the truck, and they had left the door open and i hadn't checked them. but i was able to turn around and be compassionate mamma, and he was able to calm down after walking through all the stores we had been to. he's actually more worried about the wallet, cos i made it and the fabric was a discount disappear thing. then we splurged and had sushi. this is the 2nd restaurant meal i have had with my three, and it was awesome. it helps that i had plum wine. then we took our borrowed truck through the fierce automated carwash. they helped me clean it earlier, and it was supercool how much they helped, cos it was such a novelty......

i've decided no party for friends for ruby. i will give the excuse that 4 is badluck number in taiwan. i have no cake mix, and i don't want to make pound, so maybe brownies. maybe i'll even use the scharffen-berger. and we are going to a party at 3 anyway. so it will seem party enough for the boys.
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#122 of 160 Old 11-19-2006, 08:35 AM
 
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grats on a good day casina.

we are going to florida on monday for a week to see wes' mom and sister/husband. i am so looking forward to it, even tho i don't really like florida. lol
but i love the beach.

so yesterday i went to target, sans kathrynn, and looked thru the toy dept for something new for K to have on the plane. OMG i have to say we are all overprotected from the world of toys. It has been years since i've really been thru a toy dept other then at TJMaxx, and we don't watch enuf tv to see the commercials thank goddess. one day this child will be seeing the world of bratz, ect and it will be an interesting experience.

i think it is and will be in the future impt to be able to honor K's desires and likes, even tho they conflict with mine. otherwise there will just be a powerstruggle and a seperation rather then an increased connection bw us. it has taken me a long time to come to this point, and i guess i'm glad that i've come to this realization before having to actually deal with the reality of it yet.
i've been reading accounts of 6 and 8 year old girls wanting to wear bras. this boggles my mind, and i'll just say that i am not eager for K to grow up. lol

hugs to everyone.
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#123 of 160 Old 11-19-2006, 10:24 AM
 
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. i have no cake mix, and i don't want to make pound, so maybe brownies. maybe i'll even use the scharffen-berger. a.
Casina YUMYUMYUM send some of those scharffen-berger brownies my way ...or at least the recipe..


this week my project is all coming to a climax I'll check back in with you all next week.

Amy
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#124 of 160 Old 11-19-2006, 03:36 PM
 
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btw, i'd buy her the castle pony.
I would too (but then you might have guessed, since I mentioned my guy is into bionicles! ). I try to steer us away from plastic when I can-- I do loathe the stuff-- but how would it make my ds feel if the things he gets excited about are always things mommy says are bad? he doesn't get the environmental side of things yet, and it would be unfair of me to put that burden on him. I talk to him about what things cost, and which are made of materials that will last, and which are likely to break, etc to give some guidance, and I limit his exposure when I can to avoid certain battles. but then I reserve judgment and let him enjoy what he enjoys. we try to get things from yard sales, too, so that we're helping with the plastic problem instead of contributing, but when that's not possible I just don't sweat it. : I don't want to trample his joy, yk?


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#125 of 160 Old 11-19-2006, 04:48 PM
 
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I can imagine how excited Ruby will be when she opens her pony castle. Priceless.

I got a wisdom tooth pulled while in Mexico and my mouth hurts. : I need the other top one pulled because it has a hole in it :, then I have to find an oral surgeon in the states to do the bottom two. Ugh. I so hate dental work...

And I have no health insurance, so I am trying to plan how to pay for the baby's birth in the spring. Hmm... Maybe I can win the lottery between now and then?

I'm not sure what we will do for Zachary's birthday, even though it's coming right up. He just has to decide if he wants it here or at Grammy's or the park. We always do the same type of thing- BBQ and beer, family and friends. The kids run around and play while the grown-ups chit chat. Everyone knows that we have too many toys, so I am hoping to keep the gifts to a minimum.

I feel like I have gained 20 pounds in one week. (I've only gained 4 pounds total so far, yay!) My belly is definitely getting bigger. I will have to post some pictures. I feel bad because I haven't taken any yet, and I took one every few weeks with Z's pregnancy. I am enjoying this pregnancy so much more. I have one contraction every few days or so, I hardly even notice, and with Zachary I was already feeling tons a day at this point. And I just love feeling this baby because she is so active and strong. I can't wait to see her! I will be holding her in just 15 weeks (or less). Can you tell I am counting down the days?!?!

Oh, and by the way, there's only 35 more days 'till Christmas! :

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#126 of 160 Old 11-19-2006, 04:55 PM
 
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on other news.. we may be getting a 2 week old foster baby in our home today! we got a call yesterday from my moms social working asking if we would be open to it and my mom and i both said YES!! we dont know any details right now exept that it is an emergency situation and that they desperately need a family for it. im totally dying to know whatsis going on. when i heard i was like "lets go get it!! NOW!" and i wonder if i can breastfeed it.. and if i can get the diapers together to cloth diaper it.. but its not up to us at this point. anyways, ll keep you all posted. im waiting by the phone.
its soo so sad as well.. im excited because i love babies, but i wish that no baby ever had to be a way from its momma.
Wow, so what is happening now? Did you get the baby? Would they 'allow' you to bf a foster baby, or would you just do it anyway and have formula around and act as if you were bottle feeding it?

Re: birthdays. My "little train" (what he prefers to be called) turns 4 on 12/16. He hates loud enclosed, crowded spaces so a party would not be fun for him. What he does love is trains, so we are basically doing the exact same birthday we had last year- going to the trolley museum, riding the trolley, and seeing the model trains there. And he wants a 'coal car cake' so somehow I have to figure out how to make that!!!
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#127 of 160 Old 11-19-2006, 05:13 PM
 
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Oh, yes, I forgot to say congratulations to Fern and her Momma on the prospect of a new foster baby. How exciting. What a lucky little baby...

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#128 of 160 Old 11-21-2006, 01:15 AM
 
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no baby it still might happen. we are hanging and its really frustrating.!!

anyways.. my life is crazy busy as it is.. so im not too sad, though i really to long for a new baby in my arms.. even just for a second.. because in 7 days ngaio will be a year old and im so sad! im totally in love with her.. she is the most wonderful little person.. but shes starting to really walk now and talk and im not quite ready for her to not be a baby anymore.. *sniff*
i worked my first day as an assistant caterer on sunday. it was pretty fun.. not the kind of food i would serve, but it still was a good experience and money

elwynn is becoming a really incredible artist. he is so focused on it and so involved. he draws really realistic stuff. the other day he drew a person and he said "its you momma!" and i said "what is that big thing above my eyes? " and he said "its your brain mom!" like duh.. i should know thats where a brain is.. : 3/4 year olds are totally insanely amazing!

oh.. and favorite toy right now.. playmobil... he loves it. we have the bunnies set and he plays with it day and night..http://www.collectobil.com/catalogue/items/4455.htm

 

 

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#129 of 160 Old 11-21-2006, 02:02 AM
 
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Hi again. not much time again but i miss you all so much!! thinking of you fern and about the possibility of the new baby!! casina thinking about you lots too.

gtg
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#130 of 160 Old 11-21-2006, 04:32 AM
 
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sarita, i hope you are enjoying this time and taking things slow when you need to. how is nursey slingy going?

ruby didn't scream but she squealed and had to lay on the box when she got the castle yesterday. we went to a laser tag party so i didn't have time to make a cake. she has been furious and adamant that she was still three until she had a party, so today we put up streamers and i made a scharffenberger chocolate cake from the recipe inside (can't remember the last time i actually sifted dry ingredients, but i was nervous just chopping my special chocolate and getting all the tiny pieces) with creme anglaise icing (rich stirred custard) and we turned off the lights for the candles. so she is four now.

i just don't like to spend money for plastic. even though it is durable. i guess i never had room to buy toys in general and am not accustomed to the idea cos reed is still better off with sticks and active play. they have more fun just putting masking tape everywhere and binding themselves. i want to just put the money into my yard and house. and today i yelled at reed cos he unscrewed the handle from my dustpan, put it with a short paint roller, and they are both now banged up. i should be glad that he is creative with what we have, that it is not contrived but an invented toy, but i need my handle on my dustpan to not cut me! fortunately there is a great thrift store now that i can get things but i get tired of having so much stuff. bionicles teach so much even tho they are ugly and the books are the dullest writing to me. i buy all the secondhand legos i come across even though i have never really liked them cos my boys will make stuff. last year i got ruby a playmobil farm and i truly love the playmobil, though it is a bit small, and hardly properly played with because she and clay share poorly, i still want to get more cos i like it.

leah and rynna, i'm so glad to have heard from you both.

learning to knit socks today. my crazy funky ugly shoes came in and i like them - they are orthotebb clogs. i am really hoping they help me.
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#131 of 160 Old 11-21-2006, 06:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hey everyone. :

I am kinda weaning myself off MDC now, cause I don't agree with the google ads, and how things are run here. So, I will be on the yahoo group only now.

Sarita~ I've been meaning to say something to ya... How is it going? How are things with razi? Does he love being a big brother?

casina~ I'm happy you gave ruby that huge hunk of plastic. She sounds so delighted.... so sweet.

fern~ you still haven't pmed me back about the baby stuff. I'd love to help you with what I can.

Leah~ Haven't seen you around in awhile! wisdom teeth removal-ouch! I need to get that done too. I have a freakin' huge hole in one tooth that is getting worse all the time, but amazingly it doesn't hurt. I wish I had some funds for that. When my grandparents were young, they had all their teeth removed, and got dectures. Not sure why, I guess they couldn't afford continual dentist apointments... g-ma says it was cause she had so many babies:
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#132 of 160 Old 11-21-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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Jaz, dental work is cheaper down in Mexico. Just let one of your road trips lead you down to Mexico and I'll help watch your kids and feed you Tequila on the beach. I'm pregnant so all I can take is Tylenol, but the pain is not too bad. I have an appt. to get the other top one out on Dec. 12th. Fun fun.

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#133 of 160 Old 11-26-2006, 03:55 PM
 
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ITS SNOWING!!!

just thought i'd share!: i love snow.


 

 

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#134 of 160 Old 11-26-2006, 04:34 PM
 
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I hope it snows here sometime this year. Snow is fun.

Tea Olive, I'm glad you got her the Pony Castle. I didn't weigh in on that discussion because my first thought was that maybe you could come up with a similar toy, bought or made, that would please Ruby and you. You know, just build your own wooden version of the Pony Castle, right? Easy-peesy! Then I realized, gads, that sounds like my mother, and not only that, but one of my mother's WORST traits. So I kept my mouth shut.

I'm glad Ruby is happy with the Pony Castle. I had a similar toy as a child and loved it with a special love. And look, plastic toys and all, I still grew up to be environmentally conscientious! (tho I'm not sure I spelled that last word right and am too lazy to look it up)

I've decided not to do a birthday party this year. Dc1 has never been invited to a birthday party, so I'm not sure she'd know how to behave at one, and I think it would an unnecessary stressor. I really only enjoyed having birthday parties at ages 8, 9, and 10, so why do I feel dc1 needs one?

New Topic:
So I have lost dc1 twice while shopping. The first time was scary as hell, as all first times are, and left us both in tears. Which is why the 2nd time baffles me. She just keeps claiming she forgot the rule. Don't flame me for this, but I'm all about teaching 'stranger danger.' But dc1 won't believe me! I don't take her shopping anymore, if I can't carry her or keep her in the cart.
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#135 of 160 Old 11-26-2006, 05:18 PM
 
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that's cool ! (pun intented) I live in B.c. canada, and I know all about cold It's pretty progessive there, though, right? Like everything is recyclable...
My computer was down, so I disappeared...

hi again!

Switzerland is totally "progressive" and everything is recycled, everyone takes public transport or rides a bike (all year), good health care (including alternative), beautiful scenery, neutrality...yes, it really is a wonderful place. But Europe is very rooted in it's history and tradition (what we (North) Americans often love it for) and while that's novel and intriguing at first, one does start to long for a bit more openness and momentum and change. I can't really complain, our life here is comfortable. But I miss feeling "home"...and knowing what I know now, I don't think I would be quite so fast to complain about *everthing* in the US. Only most things. I guess I would say that the bad things about living in the US are emphasized when abroad, as well as the great things about living there. IYKWIM!? The good, the bad, and the ugly! Only when I lived there I didn't notice enough of the good.

My son is in a very "heady" phase right now. Anyone else dealing with this? He refuses to make any physical efforts...like learning to ride a bike (or even a trike for that matter), no climbing anything...he just seems generally uncoordinated at the moment. All he wants to do is play with toys and look at books. Sometimes it seems like he's the only non-physical kid on Earth. Would love to hear any similar stories you might have...

thanks, mamas!

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#136 of 160 Old 11-26-2006, 05:23 PM
 
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Hey Fern, it's snowing here too!!

xmas~ I'm not flaming you at all about loosing dd....but...there is a great book you should read and I think Rynna would second me on this. It's called "Protecting the Gift" I have it and would be willing to let you borrow it (as long as I got it back ). It's a reallly empowering book and I think it would help w/ what your dealing w/. shoot, gtg, crying baby...
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#137 of 160 Old 11-26-2006, 06:26 PM
 
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for some reason im no longer a member of the yahoo group.. im not sure whats going on.. . i tried to post a messgae and it said i couldn't..

is anyone else having trouble?

sarita, i mailed your package last week.. it should be there soon.

 

 

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#138 of 160 Old 11-27-2006, 03:27 PM
 
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Congrats on the snow to all your Northwesterners. It was about 70 degrees here on Thanksgiving and we ate our meal outside.

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#139 of 160 Old 11-28-2006, 03:32 PM
 
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My son is in a very "heady" phase right now. Anyone else dealing with this? He refuses to make any physical efforts...like learning to ride a bike (or even a trike for that matter), no climbing anything...he just seems generally uncoordinated at the moment. All he wants to do is play with toys and look at books. Sometimes it seems like he's the only non-physical kid on Earth. Would love to hear any similar stories you might have...
Dc1 is much more into using her mind than her body. When we play outside she usually just plays imagination games with the tiny toy dinosaurs in the sandbox. This is her first year of preschool, and at the first parent/ teacher conferences, they asked if she had ever been exposed to playgrounds, because when they took the kids out to the playground, she usually just wander the periphery. YES : I take my kid to playgrounds. How would you feel to be in a strange new place, surrounded by strange new people, and all the other kids are running and jumping like wild animals set loose? She's warmed up some, but like me she finds her real fun in her own mind.

Mamafern, thanks for the email since you couldn't get on the group. I'm not having trouble getting on the site. Maybe you should email jaz?

Sarita, I flipped through "Protecting the Gift" at the library when Mari was a baby. I know everyone raves about it. I'll try to check it out again, thanks.
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#140 of 160 Old 11-28-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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its my baby's birthday today!

 

 

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#141 of 160 Old 11-28-2006, 06:26 PM
 
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its my baby's birthday today!
:

And happy birthing day to you MamaFern!
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#142 of 160 Old 11-28-2006, 08:01 PM
 
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HAPPY B'DAY FERN!!!!!!

and here is a message from Kathrynn:

1234567890qwertyuiopasddfghjklzxcvbnmtt6ttf6e6t6e6 r6e56r5456456465r5r53r5345etertterteetetttttt5tety 4rtytrtyryryryryryryyryryryyyyryryyyryyryyryryytry rtyururururtuurtugutuifgjfgjiikririreifiirriirrujt jgggggggggggggggjtgutgtujtrutuiujtijru6iur6ui6ruu5 tiu5ui5u5iui5u5titttitititititiititi6yiititiititiu ytuiyuiyuitujyhjuyhjyujyhiyjyijhhjihjjiyhijjyiyhyj iyhijyhijhuihyiyhujijhjjhkjyhjkhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnuhdhruhrhyuyutyutyutrutyut u5ttu5tutyut5uhtytuytutuytyututytyutyhyuityuhtyutu thttujtuhjgghtuu5tut8ututuhgg
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#143 of 160 Old 11-29-2006, 01:39 AM
 
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Happy Birthday Ngaio and Fern!!!!
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#144 of 160 Old 11-29-2006, 02:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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happy b-day little ngaio!! You cute chunky little thing


I had a very eventful day today... my van has officially kicked the bucket. I was driving around with blue/gray smoke coming out of the exhaust, so I parked it at a mechanics and they basically told me that I should just get a new vehicle.... god damn cold weather.... I trust the universe will provide for me, though, so I'm not too upset about it, just sit and say "wow" quite a bit.:

and haeven went to preschool today for the first time as well. i don't think that's going to happen again. The way that the teacher acted when I told her that she's not vaccinated (injected w/ poison)... and her weird ways of dealing w/ things, and such a FAST PACE, god. I know haeven had a lot of fun, but when we got home, she was crying for EVER!! like some weird vibe had been attached to her. I got a ride home from the mechanics wife, if you're wondering how I got home.....

ah, life.
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#145 of 160 Old 12-01-2006, 04:14 PM
 
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Wow, Happy Happy Birthday Elwynn!!! A big 4 year old boy!

Jaz, I wish I could have given you my Dodge Ram Van instead of giving it to my stupid sister. She is such a loser... But she is pregnant and I figured if she got evicted from yet another apartment complex at least she'd have somewhere to live, YK? In a van down by the river!

I have been in pain. The hole in my wisdom tooth has gotten down to the nerve, so I have to brush it madly whenever food gets in it and take Tylenol, and it hurts very badly. Plus I prefer to sleep on my back and since I've had to sleep on my sides all night long my back is really REALLY killing me. It feels like I have a charlie horse under my right scapula all day long and everything I do is painful. So, yeah, I have been a crab lately and trying to remain positive because I have 13 more days till my appointment to get this damn tooth yanked out. But man oh man, it freakin HURTS!!! :

So, what should I do about Julianna? Her shyness has turned into downright rudeness. She refuses to talk to people, even those she knows. She looks down at the ground and ignores people, or she grunts like an animal and covers her face with her hand. At first I thought it was the whole 'bio family confusion' thing, and because she was afraid of her Grandma (she still won't even talk to her after 8 months of visits). Last night we went to the children's hospital because a local photographer had offered to give all the trach'ed pediatric patients free Christmas photos. She was *completely* fine until we got into the room to sit down for our photos and all of a sudden she started sobbing for seemingly no reason. The photographer's assistants were trying to baby her (IMO), and actually asked me if she could open her present!!! I was like- oh yeah, please reward her bad behavior. The way I saw it Julianna was getting attention from the assistants so she was milking it and continuing her little fit for more attention. I asked her what was wrong and she just stared at me and kept crying, wouldn't give me a reason. I took her outside and sat her on a bench and tried to calm her down. I explained that we were taking a new picture to hang above the fireplace and everyone wanted to see how big she has gotten and how pretty she looked in her nice dress. I was patient (IMO) and just tried to be nice and calm her down- instead of ringing her little neck like I wanted to. I mean, come on, I had the photographer in there, donating his time during the holidays to take our pictures for free, all the assistants waiting, Zachary sitting in there waiting for us to take the picture, Crystal in her wheelchair waiting for us, and DH waiting while holding Kaylee, who started crying when I left because she's a mama's girl. I was so mad at Julianna because there was absolutely NO reason for her to act out like that, other than the fact that she thought the assistants enjoyed goo-gooing and ga-gaing over her, and babying her. : She kept covering her face and frowning for all the pictures, but I didn't care- I just told her that she would have to explain to everyone why she looked so unhappy in our family picture when we hang it on the wall. Then, after the whole ordeal, they handed out little Christmas gifts for all the kids, and Julianna wouldn't say thank you when she opened hers. (Yes, I think it is important to be appreciative when someone takes the time to give you a free gift- I know some of you don't agree with me, like it's "forcing" them to say thank you.) Then when it was time to leave she started sobbing again that she didn't want to leave!!! UGH! I was so frustrated! One of the ladies even asked me how long she had lived with us, as if to say that her behavioral problems had stemmed from being a 'poor little foster child with no one to love her' or something. I said "We've had her since she was four days old" and I was thinking "so I guess her attitude is my fault." : I know I am more edgy now that I am pregnant, but I have 3 other kids who all act appropriately in public- they say thank you when people pay them a compliment, say hello when someone says hello, look people in the eye, etc. So why does Julianna insist on being the one who acts like a child raised by wolves? I am so tired of having people look at me like "Teach your kid some manners, lady!!!" because I AGREE with them- she shouldn't be so damn rude all the time! So, when do you accept the shyness as shyness and when do you draw the line at rudeness??? Or do you? I personally don't think she has any "right" to be rude to people just because she is confused about her visits with her Grandma. Do you think these issues stem from the bio family confusion and the jealousy of the new baby sister? And how do I get down to the bottom of it so she stops being such a brat? (Sorry, but she is ) Am I being a bitch? She is also having some other issues- like not listening, directly disobeying, lying, hiding things, etc., which are started to piss me off. She seems to be getting out of control, and I don't want her to go too far because I don't think I can handle the aftermath, YK? And really I am tired of feeling judged by people because my kid is so fricking rude and disrepectful. (Zachary is not like this.) So, any advice? Thanks for letting me vent, ladies... :

DH s taking J and Z to the lake to run some old gas out of the boat (too cold for me, thank you!), so Crystal and I are going to wrap some presents while Kaylee naps. Have a good day, Mamas.

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

Hubby guitar.gif, ds (11) REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, adopted dd (10) notes2.gif, dd (6) dust.gif, dd (1) femalesling.GIF & 3 foster dd's wheelchair.gif upsidedown.gif diaper.gif  

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#146 of 160 Old 12-01-2006, 07:35 PM
 
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hugs mama!!! sounds like you had a really difficult day!!! urgh, i hate those kind of days.

imo, i personally wouldn't look at it as much as her being rude, as that some need was not being met. who knows what it was. could be a growing pain, or something energetic, or some other thing that you might not be able to "see." I dunno, i have a kid who others might call rude. i just would rather look at her with bright eyes, rather then the dark ones sometimes dh uses. she has moments when she just can't process things, and becomes a beatch for no reason that i can think of. but jsut because i can't identify the reason doesn't mean that there's not a valid reason, ykwim?
i mean, even for us adults- we don't communicate what is wrong w/ us a lot of the time, and we have the langauge and the maturity to do so. so when a 4 yo doesn't do that, i really TRY not to get too pissed off. maybe she just needed some extra love and hugs.

how has she been today?

hope that all makes some sense, i'm kinda hurrying and donmt have time to proof read. but i'm sure you are all used to my mispellings and dyslexic tendencies by now.

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#147 of 160 Old 12-02-2006, 01:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it sounds to me like shes showing just how she feels inside. THe poor kid has been told she's going to go live with her grama, or dad, whom she barely knows, for a year (or more?)... I think she might have just realized how shitty the deal is for her. You are getting more pregnant by the day, and everyone else is comfortable in their place living there with you. I really feel for her. I hope she can have a happy childhood, wherever she 'ends up'... and doesn't 'rebel' like crazy.

I can't belive that the social workers, judge, whoever it is that makes these dicisions think it's good for her to have this dragged out for so long. it's crazy. they need a kick to the head, IMO. Her family wasn't there for her when she was born, and they aren't even there at half the visits.

((())) for julianna and leah!!!
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#148 of 160 Old 12-03-2006, 09:26 PM
 
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Jaz, I'm sorry about the van. I'll keep you in my thoughts- imagining a better vehicle coming your way! And I hear you on the preschool thing. Maybe the van dying WAS the universe's way of saying H shouldn't go to preschool right now

Leah, that sounds awful. I don't know what I would do in your shoes, as I have no idea what foster kids and their foster parents go through. If dc1 were acting that way, I would keep her out of public. Either skipped the picture thing, or not included her if she was inclined to behave that way. Wouldn't take her out to where she will be shy/rude to people. Handled each indiscretion at home on a case by case basis. Figured there was something going on that love and patience would solve, and to stick close to the hearth in the meantime (while sneaking away aplenty to seek support online : ). In J's case, maybe it is the foster thing. When dc1 reaches the point where she's being a totally uncooperative and uncommunicative, if I can't trace it to a physical cause, I'm only left to think emotional. They just CAN'T reason yet, in most cases, yk? And they can't explain to use what they are feeling. Maybe the picture thing set her off because she's wondering if she'll get to be in the picture next year. It's sad that they're old enough to have these thoughts, but can't yet express them to us for reassurances. Or maybe she had an itch in her tights as was too embarressed to scratch in front of the photographer. We never know Take care of yourself, get that tooth pulled, find some way to get your back to stop hurting, breathe.

We're STILL sick, which is why I've been absent. Seen the naturopath twice. The kids are on a slow mend, but I still feel like shit. I'm realizing this is probably emotionally based, and was a year in coming, so I'm in for it. Ugh. :
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#149 of 160 Old 12-03-2006, 09:33 PM
 
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Should there be a new thread? I'm new to all this so I just don't know. Oh, and I'm lazy too.
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#150 of 160 Old 12-04-2006, 03:07 PM
 
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Thanks for the thoughful replies, mamas. I knew I'd get some fresh persepctives if I posted on here.

We do not talk about Julianna moving to her Grandma's anymore. We found that her behaviors just got too out of control. She seemed happy and loving on the surface but she would cry about *every* *little* *thing* and we thought it was just too confusing for her to process the whole situation. And at the rate it's going we don't even know if she will move at all. Of course the tribe is pushing for it, but Grandma doesn't really want to raise another child. And the whole point of setting up visits was to encourage bonding but they are no closer than they were when they started, so I don't know if the courts will force Julianna to move in February, or keep trying to slowly set up a relationship. The social worker and Grandma seem to think that we need to go really slowly and take as much time as possible, but I actually disagree. It is making it way harder for Julianna! All this "someday" and "maybe" and trying to process stuff she can't comprehend makes it very confusing for her. I think in some ways it would have been easier to just move her in one fell swoop so she didn't have to try to imagine all this complicated stuff, YK? Right now we just say she's going to visit Grandma Angie, and after she's sure we're going with her and that she's coming back home, she seems fine with it. (Still won't talk to her though!)

It's getting hard for Julianna also because I talk about the baby inside me and how Zachary was born 4 years ago yesterday, and he grew in my belly... And Julianna says "Me too?" I have given up trying to explain to her that she grew in Mama Jessica's tummy because Julianna has never even met the woman, so how in the world can she process that? She understands that she and Kaylee and Crystal are 'different', but OTOH she doesn't want to acknowledge it. She and Zach ask every now and then why Kaylee's mom doesn't want her, but they never ask about Julianna's mom because as far as they're concerned there never was one besides me!

So I hope you understand that I am as patient as I can be with Julianna when she has her little "behaviors", it's just frustrating for me inside because I begin to think that her behavior is a reflection of how I have parented her. When is fact it is probably a reflection of the turmoil taking place in her little heart. And maybe there never will be a rhyme or reason to it, I just have to take it day by day. As far as keeping her home... Well, she's rude every where we go so I don't really want to exclude her from every single social situation. She has most recently become a real snob- sorry, but it's the best way to describe it! I know she is confident enough to assert herself and say "Screw you, I don't have to do what you say", but it can get be a little much at times, YK? And I definitely don't want her to hide inside herself because she feels like she has to be protected from everyone and everything painful, because that can be very dangerous throughout her life if that is her only coping mechanism. Maybe I should get her into some therapy... I mentioned it once to her social worker when we first started the "transition home" process and she kind of scoffed at me like Julianna wouldn't need it, and I was being one of those difficult white women...

Anywayzzz... Sorry to write a novel here. My baby turned 4 yesterday. We had a huge party and most of his friends made it. The birthday boy had a GREAT time! We had a Lightning McQueen cake and Zach got lots of cool presents- my friends and family actually listened to me when I told them not to buy him junk! He got some quarters to save for gumballs, and some cash money, which of course he was thrilled about. He got a huge basketball game, a cute little Lightning McQueen chair, clothes, some rubber bugs, bubble bath, play money, some more play food, and a Light Bright! I know I sound like a big biatch when I harp on everyone about buying thoughtless junk, but they finally FINALLY started listening to me!

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

Hubby guitar.gif, ds (11) REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, adopted dd (10) notes2.gif, dd (6) dust.gif, dd (1) femalesling.GIF & 3 foster dd's wheelchair.gif upsidedown.gif diaper.gif  

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