I too, have a grumpy kid. She has learned over the years to temper it a bit, but her first response is usually negative. Like her older sister accidently ate a rotten grape. She spit it into the sink and was going on about to puke, and my grumpy says, "HA HA!!!" My youngest hit her head hard last night and the grumpy one say, "that's what you get." I asked her to do her homework, and she moans and groans and messes around, then later says, "I love it when you are doing dishes and I am doing homework and it is just you and me out here." It was time to walk the dog and she says she hates the stupid dog, moans and groans about getting her rain boots and slicker on. Then they come back in and they had a blast splashing and running. Her eyes are all sparkly and she smells like outdoors and rain and kid and is grinning from ear to ear. (The dog smelled like a wet dog and went right into the tub.) She has always been like this. Sometimes when she is all soft and warm and snuggly I try to talk to her about how a person can choose to be happy or not so happy. She understands this, but many times feels helpless to choose to not be so grumpy. And she gets scared because her dad is mentally ill and she has seen him choose unhappiness again and again. Many days are better than yesterday. She needs high protein diet, lots of sleep, lots of routine and lots of love and snuggles and kisses and cuddles. If she is sad or hurt, her first response is to push the person who is trying to comfort/help her away. Often forcefully. Then she feels bad because she is sad and alone. Her older sister age 17, cannot let her just be pissed off for a minute, she has to try to talk her out of it. Or rather, yell her out of it. Like dd age 8 (the grump) is disappointed and says so very loudly and emotionally. DD age 17 will say, "Geez, mom said we could do it tomorrow, why is this such a big deal? Why do you have to get so mad about everything?" Then they are off and running. I have tried so hard to get big sister to see that if she can just let her blow a minute, then she comes around and usually gets a grip. If she does not get validated and is told frequently that she is making a big deal out of stuff, it is so much worse for her. I feel sad about her struggles. She is so smart and so loving and so interested and so many wonderful qualities. I feel sad that some people will only choose to see her grumpy's. I feel sad that she might be choosing a life of grumpiness by her little grumpy choices everyday. My other 2 dd's are both so easy going and good natured. IMO, life with dd#2 , grumpy and all, is so rich and full. She powers me to be a better mom. I know I would be paying less attention to our diet, our general health, our time together as a family and the time I devote to each child. Cause they all need me to pay attention to these things, but the other two function ok without me doing so.