Romance among the preschool set? - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-28-2003, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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In the past few months, I have been noticing that some of the boys dd knows from school or the playground have been acting sort of "crush-y" around her, wanting to give her hugs, saying she's pretty, etc. These are mostly four-year-olds. I have not noticed the girls behaving in the same way towards the boys, and I do know for a fact that many of these boys have not been taught this by their parents...so where does it come from? Do little boys develop this "pretty-girl-radar" so early?

It's not bugging me, really - it's mostly cute, but my first reaction was, "Oh, no, ALREADY???"
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Old 04-28-2003, 08:57 PM
 
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I went to my high school reunion a while ago, and talked to a guy I've known forever -- we went to the same schools from kindergarten straight through college. We were just kinda chatting, and he said something about "the kiss." I was like, wha...? Turns out we kissed under the table in kindergarten, and he has always remembered. (I had NO idea -- totally forgot.) He remembered, like, what I was wearing. We were five!!! (He was seriously quite hurt that I didn't remember.)

So, it happens, I guess. :
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Old 04-28-2003, 09:15 PM
 
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I think it's normal and kind of cute. My ds walked into the bathroom this morning as I was about to get in the shower to announce that he was marrying his friend Sophie from pre-school. But, he specified, not until he gets big because he still wants to live with me
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Old 04-29-2003, 11:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by sozobe
I went to my high school reunion a while ago, and talked to a guy I've known forever -- we went to the same schools from kindergarten straight through college. We were just kinda chatting, and he said something about "the kiss." I was like, wha...? Turns out we kissed under the table in kindergarten, and he has always remembered. (I had NO idea -- totally forgot.) He remembered, like, what I was wearing. We were five!!! (He was seriously quite hurt that I didn't remember.)

So, it happens, I guess. :
:LOL - I did the same thing - kissed a boy under a table, and I do remember that. I remember his name too...... :LOL

My son is 3 1/2 and won't go NEAR the girls at his school.
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Old 04-29-2003, 12:08 PM
 
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From what I've seen this is totally normal. And then around age 7 to 8 they go thru that phase where they kind of either hate each other or pretend the other sex does not even exist ("How come there are no kids here" which is what DD said at a party full of boys but not girls.]
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Old 04-29-2003, 10:47 PM
 
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My 5 yo kindergartener dd came home and told me that she's in love with Kyle, which is a problem because she'd already planned to marry Isiah. Her teacher also mentioned that dd and Kyle had matrimonial plans at my last parent-teacher conference, and that's it's widely known around the school.

I only have two problems with that:

I feel bad for Isiah and dh doesn't plan on letting her date until she's at least 35.
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Old 05-08-2003, 03:31 PM
 
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This is a very funny and familiar thread. My DD ( 4 1/2) has her husband at Synagouge and her boyfriend at school. Her husband knows about the boyfriend, but the boyfriend doesn't know about the husband. The husband also has a girlfriend at his school and she doesn't know about my DD (his wife). It's very funny. Husband and wife walk around holding hands all the time and always have to give each other a hug and kiss goodbye. They ride their bikes together, and have sleepovers (yes, in the same bed). DD complains that she doesn't want anymore sleepovers becuase her husband snores and keeps her up at night. Us parents joke, that in the end, the 2 kids will probably hate each other or my DD will marry her husbands little brother.
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Old 05-08-2003, 04:05 PM
 
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I've always found those little "marriages" hilarious...I remember them, actually. I have never done any reading in this area, but I am guessing it's a normal part of fantasy play like house, or store...and imitative, helping them work out how adult relationships are structured for when they're older.
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Old 05-08-2003, 10:11 PM
 
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I think that part of the issue here is that, in general, boys are pushed toward aggressive and (as my five year old calls them ) "tough" things. I paint my sons fingernails, give them dolls as well as trucks, teach them that there is no such thing as a girl toy or a boy toy and teach them as much feminism as is age appropriate but when a neighborhood boy comes by and tells them that brave kids don't cry and "only bad girls paint their fingernails" (the neighbor kid said that two days ago) I usually go on a mini rampage and try to reeducate all people along the way...uggh. That was all to say that the push toward aggression and tough super hero rescue stuff means that there is an especially strong attraction to the soft gentle pretty stuff that is somehow forbidden by the ultra uptight and the mainstream masculine people. Maybe your daughter just glows and the radiating light is beckoning the boys...maybe it also attracts the girsl but they are already "allowed" to be close to her. Maybe the boys have difficult relationships with the women in their families or have been subconciously pushed away from their moms and toward their fathers? forget the psycho-babble, maybe she just has nice hair! This is a personal pet peeve, but i know that those co-ed relationships are important and should be encouraged and while i know that children can pick up "sexual" cues anywhere. I also know that they like to touch and be touched and that it is probably innocent at this age. i am going to keep encouraging my son to be affectionate with others in an appropriate way and be really careful NOT TO CALL IT SEXUAL when he acts that way. like when he was a baby and people said..."oh what a flirt" I would respond "he is really CHARMING isn't he?" Good luck. tiffany
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Old 05-09-2003, 12:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She does glow...and she has really nice hair, too!
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