Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
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I think saying please and thank you are important. I wish more adults would say it. What gets my goat is when another adult admonishes my dd (4) for not saying please and withholding something until she says it WHEN said adult does not always say please to her. I wish I could teach her to withhold from them when they didnt' say please so they knew how it felt. ARGHHH!
Slightly off topic, my dd's speech pathologist said that children should not be expected to say please and thank you consistently until they are 5+. Their speech is not developed enough for 'rules'. Up until then, it is best to just model using them and repeating what they say using please or thank you (as appropriate) without withholding anything.
Child: Mommy, can I have a cookie?
Mother: May I please have cookie?
(and give them the cookie -- if they're allowed!! lol)
If child does not say thank you when they receive the cookie,
say "thanks for the cookie".
A lot of the time saying 'please' and 'thank you' may be habit and not 'sincere', but I think it is so much nicer to have a conversation with someone (especially in the service industry) that has manners. Also, I think it makes it easier those times when you want to express deep gratitude.