I just left my almost 4 year old DS crying at preschool... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 01-02-2007, 11:56 AM - Thread Starter
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..and I am practically crying myself. He's never really had a problem being left there before, and I love the place for its gentle practices and great teachers. He has been going there since Sept. and there's a 3-1 student/teacher ratio in a class of 12.

I guess because of the holiday break he had trouble going back, although he was fine this morning til it was time for me to leave. I stayed a few min. to play, then he cried hysterically when I left. I waited in the lobby with DD til he stopped crying (about 10 min.) and peeked in. He was sitting on his teacher's lap, sniffling.

I feel awful. It goes against my instincts to leave him crying. But on the other hand, I realize that lingering can be like slowly peeling off a band-aid. His teacher is very gentle but confident in her approach that it is better to leave quickly than hang around. She does have a policy that she will call a parent if the child doesn't settle down in 20 min.

I just feel like I've betrayed my son or something by leaving....
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#2 of 5 Old 01-02-2007, 12:13 PM
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*hugs* I think every child goes through a time when they just don't want you leave. You haven't betrayed him. At 4 he does understand that you will come back and he is letting you know he misses you! (not that, that, makes it any easier!)

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#3 of 5 Old 01-02-2007, 02:15 PM
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I know how you feel. You didn't betray him. At least you stayed to make sure he calmed down. You're a good Mama.

My 4yo DD started preschool this year and I am the only Mom who still has to walk her into the classroom until she is OK. All the other parents drop them off at the door and they run down the hall to class. My DD would FLIP OUT if I did this. I have to walk in with her and stay for about 10 minutes and then she is fine. She doesn't cry anymore at least, but she would if I just dropped her off. The teachers were saying for a while that NO PARENTS were going to be allowed into the classroom after the first week or two, but they don't say anything to me anymore. If they said I couldn't walk her into the classroom anymore, I don't know what I would do! Although I don't think they could really enforce it anyways.

We'll see what happens when school starts again next week.

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
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#4 of 5 Old 01-02-2007, 02:16 PM
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Call & see how he's doing! I bet he's back to having a ball, already.

I think you're right--it's the holidays. My dH looked close to tears just now walking out the door to work.
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#5 of 5 Old 01-02-2007, 02:59 PM - Thread Starter
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Well, he did alright. His teacher told me that he sat on her lap during the whole circle time but then moved on to the next activity and didn't cry anymore. He made a paper snowman and seemed quite proud of it.

Although in the car he asked me, "Why did I cry, Mommy?"

We talked about that.

Also, his teacher was great. He kept asking when I was coming back so she worked with him on telling time, even though he's too young. She made a big point of showing him her watch and explaining all about how I'd be back at lunchtime, etc...

Thanks for all the support here. Of course at home, when I tried to snuggle him, he said, "Go away, Mommy!"

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