unconsolable crying in his sleep - help! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
zinemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: from the fire roads to the interstate
Posts: 6,568
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 3yo ds has been having episodes of intense, unconsolable crying while he's sound asleep. It happens once a week or so. We'll hear him crying, go in to his room, and his eyes will be shut, but he's sobbing like the world just ended. We can only get him to calm down by waking him up - but it's practically like waking the dead. We have to turn the light on, pick him up, clap hands in his face - anything to just get him to wake up and realize that he's ok.

But once he's awake, he doesn't realize he's ok! He just keeps crying! This can go on for as long as a half hour or so. We try to comfort him, lie down with him, hold him - it doesn't work, or else it takes forever. The next day he's fine. We can't correlate it to anything that's happened during the day - we're stumped as to the cause, but what I really want to know is what to do in these situations! Has anyone experienced anything like this?
zinemama is offline  
#2 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 01:59 AM
 
sueami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: on the edge of overwhelm, but doing just fine...
Posts: 1,007
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we have had a variation of this, dd raging and crying in her sleep, when we wake her she is unable to stop bucking and screaming. it was awful and i'm so sorry you're going through something similar. it happened at first when she was 2 1/2 (just after we moved to a new house) and again closer to 3 (no obvious trigger). hasn't happened since (she's 4 1/2). the episodes passed after a week or two, as i recall. i chalked it up to her personality's version of night terrors. the one thing that did sort of help is we would put her in a coolish bath, which she would fight terribly for the first minute or three, but would eventually relax in it.
good luck and i hope it passes soon for you,
warmly,
susan
sueami is offline  
#3 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 02:01 AM
 
LuvMy2Kidz's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Where the wind comes sweeping down
Posts: 3,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would do a search on Night Terrors to get info. I haven't personally dealt with them, but have heard stories from other moms who have.
LuvMy2Kidz is offline  
#4 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 02:34 AM
 
khrisday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: High Desert of California
Posts: 3,920
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Both of those stories do sound like night terrors to me. You're not supposed to try and wake them up. I woudl do some work on the daytime about dreams. Blues Clue's had an excellent show about dreams and about how you are in charge of your dreams and can change them (not trying to advertise that show, but I just felt it was really well done) Maybe some bedtime meditation would help also? I don't know, night terrors really suck.
khrisday is offline  
#5 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 11:18 AM
 
untomySelf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: between the worlds most days!
Posts: 151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
he could be working something out that isnt conscious to him or you

(was there ever any trauma? Separation from you? drug birth etc?)

A good homeopath and or some cranial work might help
untomySelf is offline  
#6 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 11:42 AM
 
cottonwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It does sound like night terrors.

Waking a child up only prolongs the episode and upsets them more, and they might remember it (children don't usually remember night terrors). I know it's hard, but the best thing really is to do nothing other than remain near and available in case he does wake up and needs you.

If he does wake up, don't try to talk to him, do not ask him what is wrong, just be calm, hold him and do whatever things normally comfort him, e.g., nursing, rocking, singing.

Some things that can make the attacks more likely: trauma, stress, change of any kind, overstimulation (TV/video games) before bed, being very tired before going to bed (i.e. staying up too late.)

I had night terrors into adulthood, if you have any other questions feel free to PM me.

Linda
cottonwood is offline  
#7 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
zinemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: from the fire roads to the interstate
Posts: 6,568
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the replies! Theconsensus seems to be, don't wake him up. So we should just let him keep crying in his sleep? For however long he cries? I'm willing to try it - it just sounds really hard to do.
zinemama is offline  
#8 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 07:38 PM
 
alexa07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, from what I have read the crying is not an emotional thing as much as a neurological thing. That is, your child is not upset and looking to be comforted, instead his brain is just misfiring and striking the "cry" response. This is really fairly normal. Try sitting on the floor of the room if that makes you feel better, but just allow the crying (THIS is not CIO'ing at ALL!!)
alexa07 is offline  
#9 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 08:02 PM
 
khrisday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: High Desert of California
Posts: 3,920
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is really hard, my son had terrible night terrors all night when we went camping one year. He cried off an on all night long. It was hard on all of us since we were all together in one tent. But he didn't remember a thing in the morning.
Good luck!
khrisday is offline  
#10 of 10 Old 05-12-2003, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
zinemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: from the fire roads to the interstate
Posts: 6,568
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Huh. Ok, then, we'll give it a try. Thanks, mamas.
zinemama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off