Does your 4-year-old wipe him/herself? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 52 Old 01-26-2007, 10:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We've been telling our twins that when they turn four (in a few weeks), they will have to start wiping their own bums. Is this appropriate? They've been out of diapers for almost 2 years, but we've been continuing to wipe them without really thinking about it. They're both pretty resistant to the idea of wiping themselves. . . not sure what that's about, or how to go about teaching them. How did you do it?

Thanks!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#2 of 52 Old 01-26-2007, 10:39 PM
 
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We start out by sitting in with them while they get tp and then do a hand over hand and wiping. Then we move on to them wiping themselves and calling when they need checked. That way we can give tips and they can try again to get clean. Then after a while they transition to doing it themselves!

Good luck!

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#3 of 52 Old 01-26-2007, 11:08 PM
 
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We wipe until they quit asking for assistance. I don't go in the bathroom with my four year old unless she asks me but when it is #2 she will holler for me until I come to do the deed. She likes me to finish up with baby wipes or flushable wipes because she doesn't want anything to get on her, her panties or her hands.
I don't remember when the others quit asking but I think it was by kindergarten.
Be careful about telling them you won't help because it can get pretty messy sometimes and that is worse to clean up.
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#4 of 52 Old 01-26-2007, 11:14 PM
 
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my ds will be 5 in April and we still wipe him...honestly I'd be worried that he wouldn't do a good enough job. Not that he'd be willing anyways, lol.

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#5 of 52 Old 01-26-2007, 11:17 PM
 
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My oldest started wiping herself when she potty trained at the age 2 years 3 months.

My middle dd is 4 yo and has a terrible time getting #2 wiped off but she doesn't want help. So we just have her change her panties need be.
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#6 of 52 Old 01-26-2007, 11:44 PM
 
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I wiped DD for #2 until about 3 1/4. Then she would wipe with me "checking" with some more tissue at about 3 1/2. Then I just supervised for a while. Now, at 4, she does it all herself.
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#7 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 12:34 AM
 
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My 4 year old wipes himself, but uses waaaayyy too much TP despite me and DH telling/showing him how much is appropriate to use. He also makes it into a big "snowball" and it always ends up clogging the toilet! It is sooo frustrating! I have been trying to get in there to help him when he goes.
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#8 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 12:45 AM
 
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My 4 1/2 yo does, most of the time... Every once and awhile, well, I wish he would have asked for help! We got some of those wet wipes that are marketed for kids. It helps him get cleaner and made him more intetested. The novelty factor, I guess.
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#9 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 12:48 AM
 
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We all use baby wipes in this family for #2 makes for a nice tidy ...
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#10 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 12:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2-3 View Post
My 4 year old wipes himself, but uses waaaayyy too much TP despite me and DH telling/showing him how much is appropriate to use. He also makes it into a big "snowball" and it always ends up clogging the toilet! It is sooo frustrating! I have been trying to get in there to help him when he goes.
My daughter does the same thing.
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#11 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 01:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momto l&a View Post
We all use baby wipes in this family for #2 makes for a nice tidy ...
This made me laugh! ....us too though
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#12 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 01:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momto l&a View Post
My middle dd is 4 yo and has a terrible time getting #2 wiped off but she doesn't want help. So we just have her change her panties need be.
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#13 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 02:08 AM
 
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We have my 3.5 year old wipe first and then if it's a poop, we'll do a follow up wipe. She's come up with some interesting ways to wipe herself, but it keeps her trying, so I guess it's all good.
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#14 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 02:41 AM
 
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i think dd learned to wipe right along w/ potty learning. shes 7 now and still doesn't always do a great job but since she gets a bath most days i figure its ok. i know she'll get better.
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#15 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 11:43 AM
 
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My son will be 4 next week and says he'll wipe himself when he's 4 (and has been sticking to this for months!) When we are too busy he will wipe himself with a lot of whining, and then run out and show us his butt to us to "check if he got it all." Ew. Anyway, starting Wednesday, he's flying solo on his butt-wiping adventures.
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#16 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 12:02 PM
 
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We had a thread like this a while back.

One poster stated that some kids cannot reach back there! And with my ds who is 4.5, that is totally the case. So we continue to assist with the wiping and also use babywipes for a quicker, cleaner job!

Just a thought when setting a firm timeline when kiddos should be wiping.
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#17 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 02:12 PM
 
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My 3 yo. would rather do it herself, but cannot reach back there to do it properly, so it's a work in progress. She dislikes having help, so I expect that as soon as she's physically able to do a reasonable job of it, I won't have to any more.

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#18 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 03:22 PM
 
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No, we wipe for my almost 4.5 yo. There is no way he would do a good enough job himself.
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#19 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 03:38 PM
 
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yep my dd 4.5 has been doing it since about 1 it was not the point of doing it properly it was fun for her and for her to get in the habbit of doing it
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#20 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the responses. It's good to know that there are some 4-year-olds who are still getting wiped. I think we are still going to try to get them to be more involved when they turn four, but of course I won't force the issue if they're really resistant to doing it themselves. They won't let me use wet wipes (I'd really like to use the cloth wipes we use on the baby), which is unfortunate since I think they'd do a much better job on themselves with a little water. They do take a bath every night, and I've also suggested to them that they start wearing underwear once they are wiping themselves (they are currently anti-underwear even though we have the super soft, fancy hanna anderrson undies).

My mom is a kindergarten teacher and says that she really hopes my boys are wiping themselves by kindergarten because it's awkward for her to wipe the kids in her class. But I'm not too worried about that because even if they're not wiping themselves by then, I highly doubt they'd ever poop at school!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#21 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 11:17 PM
 
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the wet kid wipes. He has gotten readlly good about only using one (and I cut them in half...) Maybe something like that will help them get excited about it? You could also stress how big they areand big kids can wipe themselves?
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#22 of 52 Old 01-27-2007, 11:18 PM
 
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My 3 yr old wipes himself and then we do a quick clean up after w/ a wet wipe.
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#23 of 52 Old 01-28-2007, 02:23 AM
 
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We're still transitioning to having him wipe himself. Most of the time he does it himself, but sometimes he still asks for help. He uses TP or flushable toddler wipes at his own discretion.

Nealy
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#24 of 52 Old 01-28-2007, 02:48 AM
 
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This thread gave me a good laugh. I totally took advantage of my parents & grandma to wipe my tush for a LONG TIME. I don't remember how old I was (it was kindergarten, MAYBE even first grade, I don't know) but I took my grandma for an extra-long buttwiping run. Grandmas like to spoil their grandkids, right?

I would wipe just fine when I was at my cousins' house playing or whatever, but if my mom or grandma was around I'd act all helpless. I knew it was ridiculous to not do it myself. I must have been a real pest.
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#25 of 52 Old 01-28-2007, 05:11 AM
 
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DD just really started wiping poo herself at 5. However, I did notice that her panties often were dirty so now we tend to check her. She would rather have us still wipe her as she hates to be dirty, but we encourage her to try and then we will always check after. Another thing is like pp we always use wipes for #2 which helps a lot!!

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#26 of 52 Old 01-28-2007, 02:32 PM
 
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My ds (3.5) wipes himself for pee. For poo we do a follow-up wipe after he wipes
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#27 of 52 Old 02-09-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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The summer before my oldest started preschool, I started talking to him about wiping himself, as they are expecting to go by themselves at preschool. This was the summer after he turned 4 (his bday is in February).

He was resistant to the idea at first, but we just kept talking about it. I started making him "try" and then I'd come help him, which he liked much better. By the time school started he was a pro.

We went through a similar routine with my youngest before he started this year. He's starting a bit younger due to his birthday falling at a different time of year (he turned 4 in October). He never minded doing it himself, but he wasn't real good at it. When he started school, I was worried that he wouldn't be able to do a good job. But then I realized he's only there from 8-12:30, and what are the odds he's going to poop right after my husband drops him off? My husband just checks him when he picks him up...a couple of times he's been a bit dirty, but most of the time he's been fine. And he's never had a rash or sore bottom from it because he hasn't sat in it long enough.

Lately he's been pooping right before school...great for the above reasons, but bad for the morning routine, 'cause, well, let's just say he's definitely going to be the type to keep Reader's Digest or other magazines in the bathroom when he's older!
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#28 of 52 Old 02-09-2007, 08:56 PM
 
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DS1 only just potty learned right before his fourth birthday. We pushed some for that to happen, and we were sooooo not about to make an issue of him wiping himself. He wipes pee himself, but if he poops he sits and yells until assistance arrives. I have only just started making a point of asking him each time if he wants to try wiping himself first.

We'll get there. He is a very cautious and perfectionistic kid, and tends not to do stuff until he is pretty sure he can get it "right."
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#29 of 52 Old 02-10-2007, 04:31 AM
 
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DS still wants to be wiped, and he will be 4 next week. I think he's afraid of getting his hand wet, as he has in the past dipped it into the pee or toilet.

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#30 of 52 Old 02-10-2007, 04:44 AM
 
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Gosh, I am still trying to get my 3.5yr old to poo in a potty! Sigh.
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