Hi Jessica - I have a 4yo and a 2yo, so we've been through the 3's with DD#1and are heading back into them soon with DD#2!
We have a combination of routine/schedule. Meaning, there is a routine to the day that sometimes follows the clock and sometimes does not. The routine (order to the day) is more for the kids - the schedule (looking at the clock) is more for Mom and Dad.
I really believe in "markers" to the day for little ones who can't tell time - familiar things that happen at roughly the same time everyday to give them a "space" in their day, KWIM? It's not so much about doing EXACTLY the same thing everyday, but having enough of a routine, so they know where they *are* in the day. Little songs, blessings, etc., help. If that makes sense...
Our day goes something like this:
6:30-7am - DDs wake up. 4yo plays on her own, 2yo plays in her crib. They are in their own rooms. We don't co-sleep anymore.
7am - I get up, shower, and go to meet the girls about 7:30am. Sing good morning song - a "marker" in the day.
Snuggle time/nursing/play time with Mom. I have found with my older DD that just 10 minutes of play time first thing in the morning really starts her day off great. She doesn't nurse anymore, so it's the equivalent of that focused Mommy-time that my still-nursing 2yo gets first thing in the morning.
Girls get dressed.
Mom makes breakfast while girls play.
Breakfast together at table. Say blessing - another "marker" in the day.
Mom cleans up kitchen while girls play. I'm sort of watching the clock during the morning - if we have somewhere to go, I'll speed things up a bit, or relax a bit if we have more time. That is the "schedule" part of things.
We play, or get ready to go somewhere. I have found that an outing in the morning has been really good for my girls. Even somewhere simple, but just to get OUT of the house in the mornings is good. It gets our blood moving. We have different places to go - park, playground, playdate, botanical gardens, goat farm, zoo, beach, pool, aquarium, library, classes, playgroups, etc. Just something to get us out, meet some friends, play, get an errand done, etc.
We usually eat a picnic lunch out - another routine in the day, and saves money.
Then back home after lunch for naptime/quiet time. You say he isn't napping anymore. My 4yo quit napping at age 2. And my 2yo is starting to skip her naps. I think it's great that you still have him go down for a rest time. You could also have him play quietly on his own for a certain length of time. Here's what we are doing right now:
Naptime/quiet time starts around 2pm, after getting home from an outing. If my 2yo will not go to sleep after about 30 minutes, then I have her get out of her bed and play quietly in her room. We talk with her about quiet time, how everyone in the family is having quiet time, etc. We are teaching her early, because it took a long time for my 4yo to get the hang of quiet time. She would always want us to play with her instead. But she is doing better with it now.
We did teach our 4yo how to tell time. At 3:30pm, quiet time is over and it's snack time. That is another great routine/marker for the day. Snack time lasts for 20-30 minutes and then we clean up toys and head outside for some fresh air before dinnertime. I have found this to be really helpful to get them to sleep at night at a decent time. Lots of fresh air in the late afternoon.
Then it's back in for dinner (5:30pm), playtime with Dad, bath (6:45pm), milk and stories with Mom and Dad, brush teeth and bedtime (8pm).
I think getting your little one to bed at 7pm is great. My girls have fluctuated with bedtimes from 7pm to 8pm depending on how their naps were going, and other things.
Hope this is useful!